2014 Recap: Oh Gawd, Do We Have To?

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The Multiple Personal Revelations, Breakthroughs & Diverse Difficulties of 2014

That 2014 image above should have multiple pathways of numerous bloody footprints leading across it. Good-freaking-lord-almighty what a year this one has been! This is one reason why we’re sometimes intentionally left out of the Higher Awareness Loop; because we’d run screaming and crying in the opposite direction if we had conscious knowledge about what was coming that we HAD to go through, HAD to learn from, HAD to be changed, transformed by. :-/

The other night I was thinking about January 2014 and how it started right off on New Year’s Day with big blast of ‘Get ready for a lot of changes this year’ sort of feel. And as is usually the case when we sense these types of approaching epic-sized changes, challenges, transformations etc. coming directly at us, we often misinterpret what we’re sensing and think it means something other than what it actually turns out to be. This I did too many times in January and February 2014, but by the end of February I’d figured out that 2014 was unfolding very differently from previous years, and because of this, I needed to be ready for anything. However, even knowing this much at the start of 2014 I was still not remotely ready for what all actually played-out physically month after month throughout 2014 in my personal life. I know there are many of you who can relate to just how epic 2014 really was. I see your bloody footprints, soul-prints in the 2014 image right next to mine. Tough soles build tougher, greater souls and all that.

One of the main things that happened repeatedly throughout 2014 were those amazing but painful, frustrating, hair-pulling, eye-rolling, heartbreaking, crying your soul clean, stunned stupid, contemplating doing prison time for murder, OMFG revelatory moments of vastly deeper personal insights into family members, into one’s self, different people and strangers and into certain personal and global situations in 2014. For me these many sudden 2014 Uraninan insights happened primarily with family members—Mom, Dad, Sister, Son— myself, and also my rapidly disintegrating lifelong blueprints and/or “karma” and over half a 26,000 yearlong Precessional cycle’s worth of working relationships with them as they’ve been up to this current Shift Point within the Ascension Process post 2012. They’ve also happened this year with a steady stream of strangers parading through my life, and all of November my house too! 😡 Those people were and still are mostly due to my Mom’s bypass/stroke and were/are doctors, nurses, pharmacists, social workers, legal advisers, realtors etc. Most but not all the old patriarchal Systems; the ever-ravenous disease death and dying “Medical Machine”, and its toxic deranged twin brother and partner in crimes against humanity, Big Pharma. Almost all the negative Team Dark systems I’ve disliked, disrespected, distrusted and been a “System Buster” against since birth. (See and feel the Neptune and Chiron transiting Pisces energies?)

Knowing more, Seeing more, understanding more hurts and usually leaves bruises and sore achy spots on one’s body and soul for awhile. Many times during 2014 I’ve wished I had a full-body Copper Compression Body n’ Soul Suit for all of these emotional, mental, physical, financial and spiritual bruises and aches! 😉 Again, I know many of you reading this can more than relate.

Throughout 2014 I had repeated sudden deep insights or revelations into my few biological family members, myself, many strangers, and many personal and worldwide situations. For years I’ve often wondered how in the world one would cope with sudden expanding consciousness—aka much larger chunks of HighHeart 5D Consciousness—while still having to function in a world that’s not at that same level of awareness and being yet? Well, 2014 has shown many of us the answer to that spiritual question in very in your face and heart sorts of ways. My Higher Self is a part-time Standup Comic so off and on all year I’ve heard that old 1966 song called Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do suddenly playing in my head, except, I’ve heard it sung all year as Waking up is hard to do. Yeah yeah, just freakin’ hilarious. I get it and appreciate your attempts to help me through this difficult phase with tongue-in-spiritual-cheek laughter oh great Higher Self. 😐 [If for nothing more than a good laugh, see the 1966 YouTube video of this song below my article so you’re in on the joke too if you’re young and don’t know it.]

Remember I’d mentioned in another article that we’d soon be receiving a December 2014 ‘Gift’, but that we’d most likely not think or feel that it was a “gift” at all while getting it? Well, this is it and don’t we all understand now why it doesn’t exactly feel like a “gift” but like another 2014 kick to the solar plexus or anywhere south of that! Having more of our old lower coal transmuted into crystal-clear diamond also has hurt and been difficult this year but there ya go, and who cares anyway right? It just is what it is and we couldn’t wait to be here to do it!

I also wrote about what I’d perceived at that time to be called The 12 Labors, indicating that every day/degree of 2014 was us moving through another degree of one of the 12 Labors (old mythic symbolism about the “12 Labors of Hercules” which represented a soul incarnating into or working its way through each zodiacal sign—0°Aries thru 30°Pisces—life after life etc. We’ve been living this Process in a NEW and very different way every day/degree throughout all of 2014. Lisa Renee has talked about this in her way this year referring to it as an Alchemical Astrological process.

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I wanted to write about some of this in September, October and November 2014, but I was so profoundly swamped, overwhelmed, sleep deprived and utterly exhausted by all the changes happening due to my Mom’s health crisis and my suddenly being unemployed because she was in the hospital and then nursing rehab home until November 1st when they discharged her. Once I brought her home on 11-1-14 the full reality of her stroke and the body and brain/mind damage it’s caused her became my 24/7 reality and I’m still reeling under it all. When she poops now, (how was that for a transition! ) it’s a damned milestone like no other because doing so has become nearly impossible for her. And then there’s the doctors, the “professionals”. I absolutely must share this one doctor story with you because it’s unbelievable for one thing, plus it’s just way too good to keep to myself.

I’ve learned the hard and messy way that it’s not uncommon for stroke survivors to have a wide variety of side effects from their stroke, one of which is chronic constipation due to the nerves being all jumbled up. To solve this continual problem Mom’s had I was having to resort to giving her one or two laxatives once a week just to help her move her bowels. This has been the situation since September when she had the stroke and was a weekly event during the two months she was in the nursing rehab home. It’s continued here at home with me and my having to mop up after every weekly diarrhea storm.

Where was I…? Oh yeah, a few weeks ago Mom’s primary physician referred us to ‘the top Cardiologist in the valley’  to check the condition of her heart/triple bypass etc. So there the four of us are in his exam room—Mom, me, the Cardiologist and one of his nurses—and I’m trying to get him to understand how severe the situation is with her constant constipation and how I have to resort to using laxatives once a week as poop dynamite and that I’m beyond sick and tired of cleaning up diarrhea everywhere… and I mean everywhere. This is exactly what ‘the top Cardiologist in the valley’ said to me in response to all this. And I quote:

“Well has anyone put a finger up her butt to see if it’s Cancer?”

😯 I kid you not, that is word for word what this sixty-something year-old Cardiologist said about my Mom having chronic constipation due to the stroke. This is another of those moments when I contemplate if I could actually do prison time for murder… See what I mean? Can you believe it? That one was just way too good to keep to myself, I had to share it with all of you. I have plenty more of that from other “professionals” lately but I think you get the overall demented drift. And to think that I HAVE to buy Health Insurance soon so I too can go to one of these “professional” doctors to look for something I don’t have while they don’t treat me for what I do have while they try to pump me full of toxic chemicals and refer me to other “professionals” to endlessly feed the Medical Machine. How much is the tax fine for not buying Health Insurance for the second year? (I already know cause I checked!)

Move Among the Masses & Radiate Your NEW LightLove Forerunners/Wayshowers

After all that stroke poop talk lets get to some of the whys of all this misery, chaos and general BS insanity of the dying old in 2014. During my every other day spent at the nursing rehab home throughout September and October, I repeatedly saw and felt how I was impacting those strangers there, and of course how my going into that low frequency pit of misery called a “nursing home” effected me. After about two hours in the nursing rehab home (2 to 2.5 hours was all I could take every other day) I’d HAVE to leave and go home to recuperate and try to nap for as long as I could. The density, misery and all-around negativity of the nursing home was so great that after two hours in there visiting with Mom, it was all I could do to physically walk from her room out of the huge building and reach my car outside. Seriously, I could hardly walk after time spent in there because it was so profoundly dense, negative and just insane in there (was frighteningly comparable to many old low-level 4D Astral places I’ve been to throughout my life) and it registered as external crushing pressure on my physical body to the degree it was very painful and difficult for me to just stand up straight and walk out of the building. After a few minutes outside I’d start to feel a little better, but it’d still take me hours or a couple of days sometimes to recover from having gone into such a lowly place for so long. The other place that’s effected me in exactly the same way over the past ten years is going into the bank.

My going into the nursing rehab home kicked my butt 95% of the time. However, some days in September and October it didn’t and I was astonished to feel like a pain-free, Light emanating giant walking on air when physically walking into and out of the horrid, dense place. I felt/feel/am huge, massive, tall, wide, strong, powerful and radiant with higher Light. I knew great changes where taking place with my/your/our bodies and Selves during the 2014 fall quarter despite all I was personally going through then. The flip side of this however was the days when I felt (still do feel) utterly beat to hell, exhausted beyond exhausted, depressed by all the insanity and BS, frustrated by the continual need for money to simply survive each month, enraged at the asinine liers and idiots of all ages in any position of control and power over others, and the seeming slowness of the Ascension Process in general. (I can barely get that last sentence out because I know that the Ascension Process is actually happening super fast. The great drag you and I feel comes from the masses, the Collective, making all this seem like it’s happening much slower than it really is.) All in all, great progress is being made by each of us even when it doesn’t seem, feel or look like it from our current perspectives.

Another big aspect of this 2014 amplification and change is that I’ve realized we’re now being directed to, pushed even into walking into and through the masses and effecting, infecting, infiltrating them with our higher NEW Light and growing ability to embody more Divine Love Energy.  We don’t necessarily need to say anything, just walk or stand in line and radiate the NEW Light that we’ve worked so long and hard to embody and anchor into this world and dimension through our physical bodies and selves. Our doing this now is literally altering the energetic frequency and consciousness of those strangers that come near our Light energy or radiation fields. We’re also literally altering places, buildings, structures etc. that we physically go into in the same ways. Remember how we Forerunners/Wayshowers/Lightworkers etc. were needed to physically live in certain land areas during the early years or Phase One of the Ascension Process? Well the same thing is happening again now but we individually are the Light, the Energy, so wherever we go we spread it and influence more and more of the as yet unawakened folks.

I’ve always had this thing about wanting to be in the privacy of my own home when I go through any spiritual/energetic/psychic growth or lesson or tests etc. That’s what I’ve preferred, but not what I’ve always gotten of course. Sometimes our spiritual and energetic Ascension Process Initiations need to take place in very public places and ways because they literally alter the people, the strangers in and around the space we’re in at the time it happens. They are in different ways effected by what I go through, by what you go through via these spiritual energetic changes and other Ascension related Processes. I’ve been living this throughout 2014 with different strangers — realtors, doctors, nurses, therapists, health insurance people, phone conversations, clerks, bank tellers and so on. I can feel how the NEW in me is directly impacting them, either making them feel something they naturally like, or, something they instantly hate and disrespect. This will increase again throughout 2015, so be prepared for dual reactions to your increasing embodiment and expanding radiant field of Light Love Higher Self etc.

There was of course much more that unfolded throughout 2014, but at this point I think we’re all realizing how much we’ve changed individually in just this one year alone… which is a strong indicator of how much more we’ll change throughout 2015! Thanks so very much to everyone for your well-wishes, your thoughts and concerns, your blessed and much needed helpful donations, and your HighHearts and great loving support during these difficult times in 2014. I’ve felt you all and you’ve kept me sane and out of prison. Thought you all needed to know that. 😀 Hugs of great Love and Gratitude.

Denise

December 29, 2014

Donations can be made here and Thank You for the energy exchange.

Comments are open.

heartcopyright Copyright © Denise LeFay & HighHeartLife, 2014. Use or duplication of this material is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

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A Time of Insights which are producing BIG Changes

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What are some of the current “side effects” of our embodying a bit more of our Greater Self and Higher Awareness? Insights about ourselves and others! Stunning simplistic bare-bones honest knowing, mini revelations, and profound insights into self and others, but, minus the lower emotional pain, thrashing about and egoic high-drama of old. This maturing spiritually feels real good and freeing. 😀

If you too have suddenly, and I mean Uranian-like sudden, deep, honest crystal-clear Higher Awareness knowing things about your old self and others due to the April and May 2014 metamorphosis, then you too are becoming more of the NEW greater YOU thanks to the ongoing embodying process.

Funny how it never dawned on me that when this phase really got rolling in 2014, that it would naturally, automatically give us even greater awareness and Higher knowing about ourselves, other people, and pretty much everything else in varying degrees as we went along. This is basic stuff but easily overlooked or not considered yet this has been a big theme lately; seeing, knowing, understanding so much more from that blessed higher level of emotional neutrality — not old lower emotional pain and turmoil. Glorious progress…

I guess what I’m trying to say, what I wish to express, is how different, “weird” even its felt lately from this NEW space and level of ongoing embodiment of a little more of the Greater, Higher me into this physical Denise aspect. You look up, you look down, you look left, right, you look in, you look out but this, THIS is different in every way and I’m struggling to find words and terms that come closest to what I’m experiencing and what I know many of you are experiencing now too. We’re on brand NEW territory with brand NEW tools and I’ve always had trouble with words anyway, so this is a real challenge for me now because we’re needing NEW words and terms for our NEW lives, beings and reality etc. We’ll create them. ❤

I’m getting larger energetically as more of ME is embodied into Denise and her physical body. Of course this naturally causes my, your, our perspectives about ourselves and others and everything else to change rather dramatically and very quickly. Like we didn’t know that would happen! We did know, but as is always the case, intellectually knowing something never comes close to the real thing when one lives it and is permanently changed/improved/expanded/evolved because of embodying it in every cell and fiber of their being and soul. That is Alchemical; the other is just the ego mind speculating as best it can about unknown higher frequency things.

This is where we’ve been lately, and where we’ll continue to be for a good long while I suspect. Let me also add some of the “symptoms” and reactions I’ve been experiencing during spring of 2014 due to these ongoing changes. I’m certain many of you will relate to this too.

The more Light and Love (the I AM) that I embody into Denise and her physical body, the more Light and Love I AM directly which is wonderful, however, many people do not respond well to this at all! I don’t have to say or do anything, I simply am irritating, disturbing and bothering the lower consciousness, lower frequency people by my mere physical presence. These people have not been doing the necessary Ascension related preparatory Work so, needless to say, those of us who have and are embodying more or our I AM presence into these physical bodies now are becoming increasingly irritating and repulsive to them in ways they don’t consciously understand but certainly don’t hesitate restricting themselves in reacting to!

The level of undeserved hate, general abuse and all around disrespect I’ve experienced from these lower frequency, lower consciousness people has escalated greatly in 2014. What a great test for one’s old lower ego self however! 😆 Just be aware of all these dynamics, on all sides, and don’t deliberately rub Light in their lower frequency wounds because they’re growing more and more unstable. No fear, just greater awareness and higher levels of responsibility for ones Light Love emanations on people not capable of dealing with any higher energies.

On the other hand, those people who have more of their HighHeart functioning—whether they did this knowingly and intentionally or not doesn’t matter—you instantly feel and know, plus they respond to you and your Light from their own radiating Light. One HighHeart recognizes and resonates with another that’s operating on the same or near level of frequency causing both people, both souls to vibrate like tuning forks to each others higher frequency Light Energies. Just imagine the global and cosmic Light music if you will, that more and more of us will increasingly be producing from the changes we’ve lived (continue to live) through. It will quickly alter the entire planet and beyond in ways yet only sensed briefly by our still expanding HighHeart consciousness and being.

On a more physical note, some of the “side effects” or “Ascension symptoms” caused by my, your, our ongoing embodying process that I’m feeling in 2014 are an even greater exhaustion (didn’t think it was possible for that one to get worse!). Also constant ringing in my ears, joint pain and stiffness; muscle weakness; sore lungs; absolute need to sleep more and nap throughout the day more than ever before; elaborate busy dreams; and increased food allergies/sensitivities yet again. And the big one for me is feeling like I’m in the midst of an incredibly important and rare Process of evolving from one state of being and awareness into another state of being and awareness and not knowing exactly what to do other than BE and pay attention! Yeah… that one’s a doozy for sure but aren’t we lucky? 🙂

Keep on keepin’ on as the old saying goes and clear your personal slate as best you can so that whatever it is that’s coming in or ready to be embodied by us via the June 2014 Equinox can more easily do so on all levels.

HighHeart to HighHeart,

Denise

June 1, 2014

Donations can be made here  Thank you very much for the energy exchange.

heartcopyright 6 Copyright © Denise Le Fay and HighHeartLife, 2014. Use or duplication of this material is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.