February 2018, So Far

  I’ve tried to write this since the first days of February but just haven’t been able to for different reasons. I’ll try again today to get a few things said quickly before the Partial Solar Eclipse/New Moon at 27° Aquarius 08′ on Thursday, February 15, 2018. This eclipse will help produce far better and bigger than what most are expecting.

As has always been the case, not everyone has been or will necessarily be experiencing these current NEW much higher frequency energies in the same ways and/or in the same physical body parts and locations and/or in their personal physical reality and lives. I’m stressing this again now because these NEW energies here now at this level of the Ascension Process and Embodiment Processes have never been experienced by any of us before. Not any of us.

I’ve always been extremely aware that it’s typically not a popular, safe or appreciated move to be honest about what I and many of the other Forerunners of the Forerunners, aka the First Everything-ers, are experiencing physically if it’s painful, difficult, confusing, a struggle at times or what we would call deeply Initiatory. Most people want to be fed AP and EP information about how wonderful, how super-duper fantastic and beautiful, how quick and easy the AP and EP processes are, not told about it being painful or difficult at times. Lesser levels of awareness sees honesty as weakness and/or that you’re doing it “all wrong” so they come in for the kill while claiming their words and actions are based in “love”. Also there are some who sees being honest about parts of our personal Ascension and Embodiment Process experiences that are more difficult and/or more physically painful than others as our human egos interpreting what’s happening to us. This is very true with some people but certainly not true with everyone. The higher truth of the matter is that some of us, I repeat some of us, have been and still are living our personal AP and EP processes ‘backwards and in high heels’ in comparison to most everyone else and there are intentional and positive reasons for this.

Why do some of the First Everything-ers live the ongoing EP backwards and in high heels’ you may be wondering? Because some of us are intentionally stretching ourselves, our physical bodies, our abilities and our Souls during this AP and EP for personal Soul and Higher Selves reasons beyond the mandatory base levels of the AP and EP. We “Volunteered” to do this too for our individual Soul’s ongoing growth and have taken advantage of the rare Ascension and Embodiment Process energies and our being in physical bodies intentionally during it. No one that I’m aware of has talked about this aspect publicly but I feel it needs to be mentioned at this point of the Embodiment Process because the AP and EP is not and never has been a ‘one size fits all’ type process. You are not doing anything “wrong”, nor are you functioning from or interpreting what you are experiencing from your old lower human ego self. You are doing much more and always have been. Don’t ever let anyone shame you into believing otherwise. You know what you are. ❤

Some of you may have experienced new-to-you type physical pains in certain body areas, again recently. Some of you may also have recently been experiencing more new-to-you type anomalies in the world and space around you such as unusual sounds, lights, flashes of lights, movements of energies, perceiving new-to-you multidimensional lifeforms and beings. Some of you may have recently been experiencing a new-to-you level of difficulty in going out into the physical world and having to be close to people with great density, lack of awareness and old 3D level ego and matching consciousness. Some of you may have recently experienced more new-to-you emotions, much higher awareness, greater expanding sense of Self and simultaneous sense of disappearing old familiar self. Some of you may have recently been experiencing more new-to-you levels of being, life, reality, external structure(s), internal structures, patterns NEW and old and so on.

Some of you may have recently been experiencing more new-to-you levels of discomfort each morning when reentering your physical body. The millisecond you’re back in your physical body and awake in it, the pointless constant internal mental chatter instantly starts back up in full-force and volume and is so profoundly amplified from your current level of being and perception, that for a few minutes after physical body reentry, you don’t think you’ll be able to survive in such a low-frequency environment! That low-frequency environment is your own physical body, consciousness and physical world, so what has suddenly changed and amplified so profoundly? YOU have. YOU have Embodied more of YOU into You and you and ALL of you/You/YOU are currently adapting and adjusting to this latest NEW new-to-you all level of physical body living arrangements. In other words, some of you have grown and expanded, evolved and Embodied more quickly and on a more grand scale than you’ve ever been able to before which, as one would expect, has further changed you, your physical body and all that goes with that and your personal current life and reality in highly dramatic ways. Highly dramatic until you and I adapt to it that is, then it’s just the latest Embodiment Stair-step we’re on at the moment until the Process takes another huge step up. And on and on it goes.

Since the late 1990s, I’ve always been able to tell when a bit more of the Higher Selves ME aspects are Embodied into the physical incarnate Denise aspect because for a while “I” don’t recognize certain things and “I” don’t feel fit for duty in a physical body yet because it’s all very NEW to this aspect of ME from an incarnate physical body level I mean. “I” am rather wobbly and mildly uncertain about certain things and procedures etc. during these larger Embodiment phases so I try to lay-low during these periods while all aspects acclimate. The NEW bigger “ME” adapts to descending into Denise in the physical, and, Denise adapts from her side too and over a fairly brief period we become unified and familiar to the latest NEW living arrangements. The Embodiment Process can and often is experienced from not just the incarnate ascending side, but from the higher descending side too, and when YOU/You/you experience the EP from the Higher Self/Selves descending side of the process, it’s weird in a very different way than it is from the ascending incarnate side. The descending side of the EP has been much bigger and more pronounced lately from any other time I’ve experienced this since the late 1990s. Big progress lately, really big.

There’s much more of this to come this month and throughout 2018 and beyond so continue to roll with the NEW and continue to release even more of the old, merge, unify and get acquainted with all aspects of YOU across Source’s many great creative expressions. ❤


February 13, 2018

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36 thoughts on “February 2018, So Far

  • Denise, thank you again!
    When I wake up; before really “waking” I feel so great, like I will have energy to do anything I want this day. Then with in seconds a shift and by the time I actually get up its back to usual, which I have to say mentally at least has been more positive.
    Funny dream last night. Flea market like thing where dogs could get their heads switched. There was lady a calling her dog by its name I told here she needed to use the name of the head because that was where the brain was. I had been dreaming a lot of cats for weeks. Chinese new year…..dog… that’s why if found it “funny”.
    Lovelight & Lightlove

  • Denise, here is my bizzar experience. Not long ago I was drawn to a “healer”. It seemed synchronous on many levels but I ignored that little deep down something is “off”. Not that it meant anything good or bad about the healer. Only that in me it wasnt 100% a go! I ignored it because of the seeming synchronicity along with what i had read AND what I FELT. Energy. I kept saying to myself “with all THAT to be so right surely I can ignore the “something is off” bit. I believed my reasons were sound ones. So I made the appointment. The healer had “accepted” me and agreed to work with me tho we were to have talked first. I was advised to give a heartfelt donation in return. The appt time came and we connected and Healer asked me if I could feel the connection. Eventually I did. Healer then sort of told me what was happening and afterwards verbally rushed thru what was remembered. It sounded so good. A closing and clearing of all old contracts and portals and such thru all time and timelines. All of it. A total clearing of hidden dark. The thing was and is that i have not been able to discern anything to personally know anything had changed. I had been sick a couple days b4 the appt and i was still sick, and even now a couple weeks later i still dont feel very good. Throat. My old time healer friend sniffed over my story and looked me over and asked why if the healer cleaned you there is this, this, and This?! I said i didnt know and that maybe it wasnt the healer’s focus. So a couple of weeks passed and it came time for me to keep my word and donate. I thought about how quite a few folks had shared the wonder of their healings and mystic experiences on FB. They love and honor this healer. I want to say Worship this healer. And here I had nothing! So i wrote healer and told healer the truth that I have not been able to discern any changes. I said maybe its becuz im still sick, and said that it could be I won’t know for a while as that had happened to me once, and over the course of some months I began to notice definite awesome changes. And if that happened in this case I’d let him/ her know. However he/she had given me an hour of His/her time and i intended to honor it. Denise I do not know if the healer felt mad or hurt or insulted. But the healer informed me it had given from the depth and breadth of the healer’s heart and very BEING! The healer doesn’t want my donation. Said a lesson was learned. The healer hoped I’d find some happiness. (This was all texted. I suggested talking instead of assumptions about what was meant. But I think I’ve been dumped.😱) Denise I dont know if u can make use of this story but if not you are reading it and maybe enjoying a chuckle. There IS a lesson. But i admit i feel guilty for having given honest feedback!

    • Edith, 1) most people have a very hard time with the truth and so they attack in a variety of ways and 2) the AP is completely about each individual “healing” themselves, NOT continuing to go externally for someone else to do it for them. This negative belief was a TD creation to keep humanity from figuring out that they can access higher everything on their own, so they distorted just about everything to prevent humanity from discovering the escape door. But, the AP has changed all this yet people continue to place their powers, hopes, expectations in the hands of other people to “fix” things for them. It will NOT work because we’ve evolved beyond that con job.

      Never feel guilty for telling your truth, you should be proud that you had the courage and honesty to do that in a public place. Walk away from the so-called “healers” of the old lower levels of consciousness and go sit in the sunlight with your heart wide open for personal inner and physical evolution. It’s almost impossible for us to screw this Source generated evolutionary process up in ourselves and our physical bodies so simply use what’s happening anyway via the Ascension Process. ❤

  • Hi Denise, first time writing here. I appreciate your authenticity. I am not sure if I am well-versed or a veteran in your sense, but I have been laying low and isolating myself for quite some time, and for more than 3 years I have been dealing with physical discomfort and pains. Since the mid-last year, physical symptoms have worsened and started including ones that are puzzling and new. They now at times make me want to quit and run away. The news of repeated “new beginnings” lately triggers my deepest fear that what I am going through and clearing is even worth it in this lifetime, – whether there is God, or if this so-called ascension is really (really) happening! I am tired and worn out, as if feeling totally overwhelmed at looking at myself in the middle of room-full of clutters that had been drawn out from the vault, and more clutters keep coming with a twist lately, every time I feel like I got the sense of any forecast. You mentioned in the comment section “it won’t be long”. Do you mean that the “hard part” won’t be long? (I sure hope so)
    Thank you.

  • About the NEW new energies. Just trying to feeel comfortable with what-the-heck is in my body…now.
    Through the AP process, closing my eyes, the background behind my eyes changed colors and shapes many times over the years during energy downloads or whatever. It was something I would always notice waking up, walking to the bathroom in the AM. Like others did, I bet. Rings, more rings, reddish, looked like water reflections in a swimming pool for a long time a few years back. Now it’s all dissolved into a dark bluish brown calm.

    But it changed again the other night. I saw the darkness behind my eyelids, half asleep, reflect these beads…or arrows? Darts or strands?…these pieces of strong colors moving behind my eyelids, washed in the darkness. I mention them because it’s weird how HEAVY these things make me feel, this energy feels…from them? I don’t know.

    This is regarding the power in these things, this blue magic, I will call it. So later in a dream, I was on stage and these blue baubles of energy were visible to me in my energy body, floating around. They moved around me and out through other people in the dream…the Dallas Cowboy football team to be exact (please laugh). They were on stage one player at a time, experiencing a rich blue bauble pass through them. And just after they did, it would knock them out. Each player collapsed right after below the stage below. Eventually all of them piled into a heap, knocked out from the baubles of blue.

    I’m dealing with this NEW new now. Feels like more emotional pain coming through my muscles. Denise, I’m so alone. And like Cinderella, no matter how hard or how many times I try to get to the Ball (worldly life), I don’t. I can’t take it. How do I achieve? I had a dream my whole life. I had a dream of the work I’ve wanted to do. WHY give someone a DREAM if they are supposed to do THIS and what if I cannot make it happen? I suffered every day JUST from this problem. First three years, post 2000, I cried myself to sleep. Heartbroken, no ability to achieve.
    No support to overcome. Plenty to stop me. How do I NOT think of myself as the biggest failure, ever. How do I get through 49 more years? Why put me in this position? Why endure all of this spiritual change and suffer enormous disappointment, ongoing, as well, for so, so long!? Why make me able to have a relationship now, just past the easier years of meeting someone, marrying and having kids. I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I’m not quitting. I just have to ask…or fuck’s sake!! Gosh darnit WTF!? How long!….how much!….hOW?!?! Why…. What can I do….? For myself. Poor girl. Geez. ( and I speak for them all, too, all the ones like this….their hearts all matter just as much.)

    P.S. I know it’s the energies talking. They are like a tractor trailer over me presently. I needed to share my greatest heart pain. This ever present sadness I endure and want so badly to change – will I ever get to do what I love or love… And I needed to mention these BLUE baubles and weird color strands. Don’t know what they are up to, but these baubles are very, very powerful…must be, they can take out the Dallas Cowboys…..Lol 😉

  • Thanks Denise. I have noticed in some of these comments a frustration I too have felt… those newer to this stuff being focused on emotional tripping out and disparaging those having an off day by inference. I have become annoyed at being told I am not trying hard enough, should push myself out there and speak my truth (when my life has shown this doesnt work for me).
    When I have shared ( even through self publishing a book some years ago) I am ignored or told that they have a different philosophy. What I may be contributing to the masses hopefully is at deeper levels as it doesnt seem to be a public thing. I am now too tired to care anyway and feeling ‘Home sick’ and wandering lost.
    I have been at this almost 30 years and honour those like Donauld who have been at it even longer. I have transmuted myself inside out and yet this week triggered an intensity I have rarely felt before. Yes it helped deeper understandings surface ( didn’t know how there can be anything left by now). i know I will get out the other side as I always do but the meaningless of everything is bothering me more now (at the same time as I am widening my perceptions of dynamics and games played between people)
    Yes we all seem to be focused on different parts of the puzzle and cant compare. I certainly have had some challenges with physical symptoms (and my eating and intollerance of 3D environments make me quite unsociable) but I seem to get the changes more in my emotions and things and people falling away in my life. This is one of many different emphases among us.
    Btw I am noticing while different, though overlapping, understandings of what ‘Awakening’ is. I had a spiritual experience at the beginning and have been focused on reawakening my recognition of what I am in a divine or spiritual sense. I see many writing now where the spiritual or True Nature isnt mentioned and the focus all is on waking up to games and what has been hidden in the planet. Many working different angles for different reasons I guess.
    I do wonder about a lot of ‘blind leading the blind’ as discernment is needed at a high level. There seem to be some many more writing on this stuff and channelling these days but overall a much lower quality of information to my mind anyway.
    Thanks again Denise for your honesty. I have become honest and clear in my dealing with people and I know I am often seen as uncompassionate rather than a purveyor of sweetness and light as I dont fit social expectations these days.

    • Dear Lyn T.,

      Some of what you wrote is exactly how I’ve been feeling as late. I’m also feeling too tired to care (can’t stand the old ego games still being played), I can seemingly come off as harsh and mean when I just don’t have the energy to play the ego game so I just bottom line things and cut through all the garbage. I’ve been feeling something BIG in my chest/nervous system. I’m so exhausted and wired (cat still yelling at me while I’m sleeping/jerking me awake, and continues to yell at me through the day). I feel angry, yet not really, and sad yet not really, and there’s a lot of energy and pressure in my chest. So I’m surmising it’s the NEW energies.

      I keep waiting (figuring out) for the threads to merge in finding a house for myself (never had/owned one before, a new dream lately), because I just want my own space that’s away from all the crap. From all the old ego crap (getting more things, fighting yet not dealing with issues, talking about inane stupid 3D crap) because I’ve done my 20+ years of work on myself and I just want and NEED some peace and quiet. Still struggling to feel my way through consciously creating.

      Speaking of dreams!! Last night I dreamt there was some sort of flooding and I was near San Francisco. Road/bridges were coming apart and being flooded. My car went into the water with many others. I actually went down the road, all the way down to the pacific ocean floor, walked to my car, and manged to pull my car with a heavy duty rope all the way back up onto the road like it was no big deal. I awoke thinking, ‘Wow’! Because for me, it was saying that even though there’s a Huge upheaval of emotion everywhere, that I (my Higher Self) raised myself (car = physical body) up to Higher Ground with minimal effort. I know that there are changes for and within myself, it’s just such a challenge to fully See the bigger picture when you’re in the midst of exhaustion and pain (with no seeming end in sight!). And as I skim back over parts of what you wrote, Denise, I realize how much I do relate to some of what you shared!

      Much Love,

      • “I’m also feeling too tired to care (can’t stand the old ego games still being played), I can seemingly come off as harsh and mean when I just don’t have the energy to play the ego game so I just bottom line things and cut through all the garbage.”


        And this is exactly why I didn’t respond to your private comment about you know who and what. It’s all BS and unworthy of your and my and our attentions and energies. Pearls before swine. Negative distractions. 1/8 of a tank of daily fuel and learning to be VERY careful and respectful with our beginner amounts of Self-Source Sovereignty. This one EP education is super important for each of us living it, and it quickly teaches us that to do what we’re really here and capable of doing, and greatly needed to do, is the Embodiment Process, not wasting our precious daily 1/8 of a tank of fuel on people who won’t listen or learn or benefit from us and our time and energies anyway. Know when to walk away to keep doing the Great Work. To really help people, THIS is how we do it, we Embody which means we Pathpave for all of humanity. ❤

        Your dream said it all. 😉

        • Dear Denise,

          I do apologize for the long private comment. It was a moment of frustrated weakness on my part… I would not have responded to it either! 😀 I am doing my best to set as many boundaries to limit the interaction, as I cannot quite end all interactions as yet. And I completely agree with your response to Lyn T. “& All”. Unity/High Love is confusing to 3D ego-based everything. The old 3D belief is that I am cold, I’m harsh, I’m “being mean” and completely misses the point. I get it, however, as I was once in that 3D space. I now see both sides of it all and am so very grateful to be part of the Unity Love. I still have my moments of faltering and I’ll continue to pick myself up and keep going.

          HeartLove Gratitude to you,

    • “Thanks again Denise for your honesty. I have become honest and clear in my dealing with people and I know I am often seen as uncompassionate rather than a purveyor of sweetness and light as I dont fit social expectations these days.”

      Lyn T. & All,

      The old lower 3D world held ego everything as the highest, even ego-based love. That level of consciousness believed “love” was all sorts of things that were, from higher levels, profoundly negative! As we continue evolving, ascending up into HighHeart consciousness, which is Christ/Crystalline/Unity frequency and consciousness, we quickly remember higher frequency LOVE is not any of the old lower things humans believed. It’s incomparable with old 3D, patriarchal, worldwide ego-based consciousness and external reality, which is why most people just do not understand what appears to them to be coldness, harshness, lack of caring and so on when the truth is anything but all that.

      This topic is going to expand like wildfire throughout 2018 because it — evolution into Christ/Crystalline/Unity frequency and consciousness on ascending Earth in this physical level and Earth world — is the focal point now. I knew last year when Saturn got hit by 7 Solar flares that physical reality was now capable of receiving, Embodying, anchoring and maintaining all of the NEW codes, architecture, templates etc. which are Unity/Christ/Crystalline frequency. Duality frequency and consciousness that contained matching level egoic “love” is no more, but Unity/Christ/Crystalline frequency and consciousness which obviously contains much higher Light but LOVE too is. Total game changer, and it’s the First Embodiers that are embodying the NEW Unity/Christ/Crystalline frequencies and codes first so that it’s embodied into the NEW ascending physical Earth world and available for those people ready to exist at this vastly higher “ascended” level. Human concepts of “love” and LOVE are changing dramatically and will continue to as the AP and EP processes continue this year and beyond.

      • Dear Denise,

        Thank you so much for your wisdom and assistance; it is a lifeline out here in the boonies!
        I just had a few thoughts to add that may be or not relevant. In the last year I have been going through and letting go of karma of what could have been. It feels that the original plan I came in with had to be modified at times during this embodiment to keep me here and protected from td (they don’t rate Caps! ): I was aware at an early age that my very survival depended on being under very deep cover, so out the window went any plans that would put me in td’s crosshairs. I don’t think my guides and planners knew how tough it would really be here, born just post WW2. It seems that the original plan was put into deep slumber, but I was aware that something was amiss and had a hard time finding, much less fulfilling, life goals. Confusing, frustrating, yes! But now I realize why and am thankful to all guides and angels and assistants (they are numerous at this point, bless them all) for saving me so I can do the real work I came in to do.
        Thanks again, Denise,
        Love and Light,

  • Interesting times we’re in! I am certainly feeling greater expansion (and some interesting developments in my external reality to go with it) as well as greater disconnect from the lower frequencies. I would say we’ve definitely reached a new level, but as you mention, we will all experience it differently.

    In a recent dream, I saw that a mass of the collective has received NEW codes and are now shifting to a higher stair step/level of consciousness. To help them, I was going back to clear their “school lockers” where they had left stuff behind (their learnings on a human level?) but was told to stop. I realized that they would not be able to take ALL their human learnings with them; not everything was assimilated in time for this necessary upshift.

    I know there’s a lot happening on different levels and I am not conscious of most of it (much occurring during sleep time for me) … but I can confirm that most of us now occupy a different “space,” with a new awareness rapidly coming online.

    Gratitude to you & all here.

  • Greetings all.

    My soul’s plan was profoundly interfered with at 4 years old. At that time, the decision was taken by my “supervisors” to keep me alive and in place, but put me on a Plan B which involved staying within the Interference, Witnessing and eventually Awakening thru the middle of that extra density. I’ve seen glimpses of my Plan A life and it’s day to night of Plan B; challenges of course, but not the twisted misery that I have experienced. I’m now not so sure They even expected me to survive.

    Very recently, I twigged that a months-new Higher Self now present in my Guide group expected “me” (the soul aspect who’s lived this life and is writing here now) to step aside and let someone else Walk In to a “part 2 of Plan A” they wanted to graft on to what I’ve lived. After a little discussion, I politely declined. I got the impression that either a refusal doesn’t happen very often or they just didn’t expect it from me.

    But it seemed their part 2 plan was to more or less abandon my accumulated experience, what mattered to them was only the condition of Awakened.

    So here’s the point of relevance for this blog comment: There’s evidently an expected Awakening protocol, even tho “they” say there isn’t. And if you manage Awakening in a way so different to that expectation they can’t see it, or perhaps don’t value it. I don’t feel invisible but rather unrecognized. I’m accustomed to being unseen in the outer world, but it’s been disheartening to receive this in the current Spiritual community and now evidently in my inner Guide community too. Is that even possible? It seems to me, that the inner guides -and few humans- who do see me have deeper lived experience in this world as it is now.

    For a while I’ve been carrying the basic question: what’s been done for “the Masses”? Some/many spiritual folk speak of the Masses dismissively, or with condescension. But surely there’s Higher Purpose to things being exactly the way they are. Long discussion I’m sure.

    I perceive this life experience, my Plan B, as an Awakening track thru the density of the Masses. Not even a cut path really, just me stumbling thru everything with endurance and diligence. But I’ve lived it and its come thru into incarnation now. It’s happened.

    It’s a miracle!

    But my path doesn’t look like much, I don’t look like much either. But I’ve done it. So this experience is out there in the morphogenetic field. And there must be others too. There have to be.

    The path not expected or recognized is, I think, of greatest value for many people experiencing these changes without any discernible guidance. It may be just a tiny bit easier to be kind, to think before acting…the basics.

    I’m not sure I’ve at all conveyed my point. But I’m starting to blather, so I’ll stop.

    Thanks Denise!

    Jan S

    • Jan,

      I had to re-read your Comment four times to make sure I was understanding what exactly you were saying, and I may still not correctly understand what you’re trying to convey.

      I’m very familiar with “probably realities” and other timelines in our current incarnations and more, but there’s just so much about what you said that made me grimace, so much so I wondered if I should even reply to you about any aspect of what you’ve said.

      Here’s what I do know very well. Some ETs are heartless, insensitive, uncaring, extremely “mental” assholes that feel about humans exactly as you said some “spiritual folk” do —

      “Some/many spiritual folk speak of the Masses dismissively, or with condescension.”

      One of many things I am is a Starseed, but even with that I’ve been treated by some positive but not terribly evolved, mature and aware ETs with shocking condescension and indifference. Many ETs and other dimensional Beings, such as some who channel AP related information through a human, have never been physical or human and/or if they have it’s been so long ago and in much less denseness and negativity that they don’t remember how difficult, painful, dark and miserable lives are in negative controlled density in physicality. And let us all not forget that THIS lifetime, THIS time we are alive and physical in has been the worst of the worst because it’s the end of Team Dark patriarchal rule on Earth which means things had gotten as dense and negative on Earth that we incarnated into as it could. These have not been happy-happy ease carefree lives because they are happening during the end times of the old negative and the Ascension Process and the evolution/ascension out of all that and into a higher dimensional frequency with matching physical bodies and NEW everything! That is a big f-ing deal, even for the less evolved and mature ETs.

      Keeping this reply short, I’m very glad you told them to go screw themselves over their insulting and heartless offer to you. How disrespectful to you and what you’ve lived, learned and suffered so to gain in this ascension lifetime. You did the right thing, but I also feel you need to get yourself NEW and improved “supervisors” immediately. Seriously. I’ll end this here otherwise risk saying things that might anger you. You are more powerful, valuable and important than you realize and you need to realize that now. ❤

      • Yes, Denise I feel you landed generally in my point. Good job and -whew-.

        First – my Guides “green room” is a little empty right now, just my most trusted inner circle. Your support for that feels good.

        Here’s your language that brought this forward for me: “The higher truth of the matter is that some of us, I repeat some of us, have been and still are living our personal AP and EP processes ‘backwards and in high heels’ in comparison to most everyone else and there are intentional and positive reasons for this.”

        Now that my perspective has broadened, I’m getting the impression that we here incarnate can offer more valuable input than the Planners looked for. As I said here: “The path not expected or recognized is, I think, of greatest value for many people experiencing these changes without any discernible guidance.” I BELIEVE THIS IS IMPORTANT. That’s why I’m taking time and space here. IT’S POSSIBLE TO WAKE UP OUT OF THE MASS DARKNESS. But doing so doesn’t look like anything previously expected.

        I’m still in first level articulation about this, and SO GRATEFUL for this venue to bring it out. Thanks again, for everything. I feel content in this moment.

        ❤️ Jan

  • I thought why not comment since I haven’t for a while? I’ll try to keep it on topic. So some of the things I experienced have been very similar to what you’re going through, while other aspects – totally different. You said we all have different soul paths or agreements to get X amount of evolution out of this ascension cycle.

    The main things you’re mentioning which I don’t seem to get, are the physical sensations – the pains and aches you describe. I’m probably not connected to or channelling the ‘new light’ in the same way. I don’t feel like I’m being channelled or given any info about the new light codes or planetary ascension.

    Many of the emotional ups and downs, mental psychic attacks and implants (such as the nails in the hands and feet, recently coming up in me, hundreds of them), implants all over my chakra’s, mind control above my crown, etc. I have had to deal with all of that. All of the negative emotional blocks trapped inside me from past lives.

    Recently I feel like I can sense the energy more of places, such as certain emotions seem to spill out of people and over time, attach themselves to environment – walls, buildings or streets for example. For example, my local town is heavy with a grey sadness. The job center was thick with ‘fear’. The local train station had an exciting vibe of going somewhere. Luckily I’ve got a bit of help to flood the house I’m in with love, which is all over the walls now. I also was in a chuch which (thankfully) has a lot of positive energy, I think many people prayed there and channelled gratitude or some other such positive feels.

    I’ve also become more sensitive to foods. If I project energy into foods in the supermarket, most of them are black or grey, while some are white. If I eat the black ones, I get very sick in my stomach. I can’t handle most food anymore.

    I’d say 70% of food is corrupted, while about 30% is clean.

    I’ve had an enourmous amount of fear, panic attack and psychic attacks but these were a few years ago, and calmed right down the past year. It’s been all about handling black magic attacks from the astral plane.

    I seem to have developed rather unusual abilities which other ascension people do not talk about. For example, light clones come out of my head. They start small and grow out of my third eye and my crown chakra. I have thousands of these shakti clones and I can command them to do mass clearings. It’s good to destroy the darkness and very powerful.

    Another ability is exchanging shakti from one person to others. I can transfer my shakti to ordinary people and then they glow with light, their blocks get dissolved quickly.

    I get a lot of light beings come to me because I need their help to bulk clear my own deeper blockages.The story of my past just seems to go deeper and deeper, based on past life karma, and so on.

    Anyway that’s my update for you. Hope is interesting.

    You said in another artlcle, how to handle people of different stair steps? Such as people saying all the darkness is ‘IN YOU’ or that it’s made up, or that you’re doing it wrong… I’d just ignore them completely… It’s like trying to talk to a brick wall so I almost never ever mention any of this stuff to anybody. The slightest thing I might say get’s rejected as ‘mentally ill’, so I’ve taken to being the silent type.

    I’ve had people swearing at me in the street or getting very distressed, sometimes because my energy was flowing into them. Since the flow is automatic, I can’t do anything about it, so I just don’t say anything. I can’t really take compliment or criticism since it’s automatic.

    There’s a lot of ‘low grade’ light workers out there, who think they’re great, but I bet a lot of people are simply parroting new age material and thinking they’re great.

    When you get further you have such far-out experiences you can’t really talk to anyone about them!

    We all got different volumes & types of karma so we all got different paths. Some resonate with some parts, but it’s overall pretty unique or done personally through god’s energy. One size shoe doesn’t fit all.

  • Thank you again Denise. You always help me to see the pattern in the chaos, which helps immensely. Good thouhts sent your way. Linda

  • Keep up the good work Denise, just hearing another veteran is a tonic!
    I have been in this since the late 50’s, Battle fatigued and fundamentally worn out!
    Especially hard dealing with the overwhelming demands and sadly, sometimes arrogance of
    all the “all wise” newbies, suppose they are “cramming” all their lessons in an extremely short time.
    A different path for everyone and all leading to the same place. 😉
    Heard a rumour, it won’t be long now….
    Love and Hugs

    • “Rumor” right Donald, it won’t be long now. It’s accelerated even more recently which is why some are feeling the NEW changes in new ways. 🙂

    • It feels very appropriate to insert an important link here under Donald’s comment for all the “veteran” First Everything-ers. 😉 I just got this from Sandra Walter via her mass emailing notifications today and because 1) it’s great and very simply describes so much about what all has been and is unfolding with the AP and those living the EP now and 2) it’s connected to tomorrows Partial Solar Eclipse New Moon and energetically related CME and much more. In other words, it’s a great bit in condensed and easy to grasp information about multiple layers of the AP and EP happening right now.

      First a link about the CME and possible Solar flares. http://spaceweather.com/

      Here’s the link to Sandra Walter’s latest article which I hope everyone reads and re-reads if necessary. Veteran Volunteers/First Everything-ers, you/me/we are needed as usual to Embody some more to anchor that not only in ourselves but to manifest the higher and highest evolutionary outcomes for the rest of humanity.


      “We have two phases of Ascension amplification in the first half of 2018. There will be a period from just after this Solar eclipse (Thursday, February 15 at 1:06pm PT) through the March equinox when the energies will be focused specifically on physicalizing Unity/Christ/Crystalline consciousness. This is the experience of much higher, purer consciousness in the physical through the merging experience of multidimensional aspects. This assists the anchoring of unity consciousness on a global level; Embodiment in the Wayshowers first, then global activation.”

      This is some of what I shared in my article February 2018, So Far. Pathpavers, path pave these current incoming NEW energies that assist us to further Embody within our physical bodies and Selves which in turn automatically seeds high NEW potentials and Unity consciousness to manifest in mass humanity this year and beyond. If you’re sensitive to the NEW energies, Light, Solar codes, CMEs, Solar winds and flares etc., then you’re probably already feeling some body aches and pressures etc. Nothing new here just do what you always do and Embody more so that more NEW is seeded here for humanity to step into behind us. Thanks Sandra Walter. ❤ And thanks everyone else doing the Great Work. ❤

  • TY for sharing Denise,

    I think that the AP and EP processes are different for each individual. If not why are there billions of humans on Earth with unique experiences? I also think it is as you say not all gold and glory when it comes to these things. Heck most of the spiritual workers I know have been to “hell” and back.. which has made the processes of “waking” up much faster.

    I usually dismiss things said to be only like this or that cause in the end the things said are often both and beyond..

    Hugs Ollie

  • It’s refreshing to hear our Forerunners speak so openly and honestly, and to hear about your “weaknesses”. Helps us initiates gain even more a realistic perspective about ourselves. Thank you so much.

  • Thank you. I’m wondering if anyone has dealt with what feels like something/someone kicking the bed during the middle of the night. This comes in waves and has happened off and on for years. This morning was a big jolt and the best way I can describe it is someone/something kicks my bed with full force. I wake with a start, sit up and look around whenever this occurs. More often than not, the time is significant . . . to me anyway. Exactly 3:00 am last night. This does not feel malevolent. I wondered this am if it was related to re-entry as I have heard you speak about often. I’m not clear on this, as I have suffered from sleep paralysis off and on as well. Always interesting, to say the least.

    • Pocahontas,

      I experienced having the foot of my bed being shaken many times when I was a child. In most cases it was some nonphysical someone (not negative) trying to wake me up, and it always did! Other times during demonic attacks from 2000-2004 (I wrote about this in A Lightworker’s Mission), it would try to gain entrance into me by pushing my physical bed up from underneath the mattresses around the base of my spine. None of this was etheric but a physical event done by a non-physical demon. And those nighttime attacks by it during those years always began either just before or exactly at 3:00 AM. Just saying.

      Remove the Team Dark influences, which is almost complete at this point, and many of us living the AP and EP often get suddenly shoved back into our physical bodies around 3:00 AM or thereabouts. In many cases this is due to multiple things such as us having been worked on energetically in much more intense ways than usual and we’re needed to return to our physical bodies quickly. Sometimes when we re-enter our physical bodies from the sleep state, it’s a very fast affair and sometimes there are these strange impact type side effects. I’ve experienced the bed suddenly feeling like it was impacted by something and that something is usually me reentering super fast! I’ve even heard strange unrecognizable sounds when this happens too, sort of like we’re “breaking the sound barrier” 😉 upon re-entry into this dimension etc. There’s all sorts of new and wildly different so-called phenomena that comes with the AP and EP processes. Just hang on and ride the evolutionary Light waves! 🙂

      • Thank you Denise. Always nice to get your feedback. Moving out of a place/street called The Woods tomorrow into a place on the corner of Starview and Starbright. Of course, unplanned and sudden . . .or was it? 🙂 Been here exactly 7 years and prior to that had moved 7 times in 9 years and for reasons, I’m still not clear on why so many moves other than it being part of the process. I never quite settle anywhere I go, as it always seems impermanent and this has gone on since my early 20″s. Needless to say, this last 9 years has been a hell of a ride and we are obviously never through.

        This is probably not the forum for this, but I don’t read to much about it. The subject of telepathy and I’m not speaking about channeling. I can do this with another that lives approximately 3 miles from me. We met back in 2009 under very unusual circumstances. As far as guides, yes they are there/here. I can sense if it is a male or female, how many, tone and they are benevolent. This is different. I do not hear of anyone communicating regularly with another human per se’, in this here realm. Needless to say, this kick started things into high gear for me and AT&T can kiss my ass. It’s free and it should be!! 🙂 And, speaking in regards to your comment about your childhood, another thing comes to mind. I was a heavy duty sleep walker. My family would often keep it from me, as to not freak me out. My brother just informed me (jokingly) that I was always fucking weird and the worst time was when he found me outside. These are just a couple things I haven’t heard much on and wondered if you or anyone else here have/has experienced.

        Again and as always, thank you for all of the support you give to all going through this process. I am utterly grateful. 🙂 Let’s ride!

  • Denise

    Thank you for a deeper explanation as to why we are experiencing our expansions in many different ways. Gives me greater understanding and most importantly respect for individual strategies.

    Brilliant really and pulls me out of the lower logical thinking. I needed it.

    New ground for us all – exciting but not easy.


  • Dearest Denise — I wish I were able to send you some money, because that is the form of appreciation most useful in these times. Unfortunately, though, I have recently been relieved of both home and all my possessions, at least some of which actually had to be replaced, forthwith and all at once, on a very low income. Which, as you might imagine, is a bit of a challenge. Hence, the non-funded appreciation email! 😀

    FWIW, dear one, you were the first LightWorker type whose work I began to follow, the first time I was suddenly thrown out of house and home, approximately 6 years ago now. And so far, you are still the ONLY ONE who writes about the types of experiences that I have routinely, which are predictably and always MUCH, MUCH MORE DIFFICULT AND PAINFUL than those of the younger ones who are on their way up now. And, like you, I have experienced plenty of instances of disrespect from the ones who were “born on third and thought they hit a triple.”

    So please accept my huge, deep bows of appreciation for your many stellar efforts on behalf of All Being. Maybe one of these days, if my circumstances ever ease up dramatically, I’ll be able to send more than just typed words on an etheric page. But for now, these little black lines on a white background will have to suffice to carry my deep respect and regard to you, Denise. May it be so! And so it is.

    Lots of love,

    “Rev. Russ”


    REV. DIVINA “RUSS” RUSSELL Mindfulness-Based Integral Life Coach Soto Zen Buddhist Priest | Interfaith Chaplain dainenruss@gmail.com | 415-871-0646

    • Rev. “Russ”,

      I hope you’re well and safe despite all the drastic changes it sounds like you’ve been through recently. Everything has been shifting, again, and in big ways lately. More to come for all…

      “And, like you, I have experienced plenty of instances of disrespect from the ones who were “born on third and thought they hit a triple.”

      😆 Perfectly said. There is always but always those few who’ve gone before each of us. Bless them all for laying the foundations so far ahead of the AP. ❤

  • I just have to comment…thank you so much for letting people know this is not all sunshine and butterflies….I can’ tell you how many people who I ‘channel’ for that yes it is okay to feel lost, angry, frustrated etc etc….They feel they aren’t being spiritual enough when they feel that way….I tell then we are human and cannot deny what we feel, we have to use our feelings as honest barometers…….
    I have just found your site recently…and I love your writing skills….you say it so well… (I love your comment of climbing stairs backwards and in heels…..)
    Please keep doing this…I can’t tell you how much you have helped me to keep going…I get things/visions/understandings that seem to be so far out there…that I know I have gone crazy; and the physical pains that are so unbearable I know I have something wrong with me …and then I read your articles and boy, bam right on target….
    Let me share this one thing I think is so important right now…Last night in my mind’s eye I saw the universe swing one of those like circus whips…it cracked so loud, I actually could hear it….what I was ‘told’ was that was the universe breaking the vibration of the darkness being held over us…..I thought of how you use the term Team Dark. And now we get to have the eclipse…..I so want to know all this has not been in vain….
    Thank you Denise, please don’t let anyone make you stop writing…you are a gift from heaven!!!

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