20-Year Ascension Process Anniversary

For some of us the start of 2018 is the 20-year mark of our living the Ascension Process (AP) at the physical body biological level. Many of us started the AP a decade or more before that at etheric levels where we began doing mandatory Inner Work on our personal issues, emotional wounds, fears, imbalances, projections and all unresolved dense energies and energetic issues from our current life and any others that needed resolution now. In addition, some of us had been consciously and knowingly Working from our sleep states both individually and with groups of other Volunteers, Starseeds, Higher Dimensionals and other positive non-physical Beings for a decade and more before that. An even smaller handful of us have been conscious of being incarnate on Earth in these lives to anchor and Embody the evolutionary AP from infancy. Even though many of us have been at this multi-leveled AP since around 1998–1999 which has felt like a lifetime!, some of us have actually been at it since birth in this life, including a good number of past-lives all designed to help us carry out the AP and EP (Embodiment Process) from our current physical bodies here and now. No matter how many more decades you’ve personally lived the AP in this life, congratulations on reaching the physical level 20-year mark in 2018.


I’ve never read many people’s AP writings or channelings online or in books because the majority I did read a bit of years ago was distorted a little or a lot, incorrect overall, or reeked of Team Dark a little or a lot. As the AP years pushed on these past 20 years and counting, I knew once we got past December 2012, it would become increasingly obvious to more people (readers) who the authentic and knowledgeable AP teachers and writers actually were and who wasn’t and the wide range of levels between them.

One thing I’ve noticed since 2013 with a small few of the accurate AP writers, including some non-physical beings that channeled material (in my opinion), is a continuation from them of what sounds like judgements, mild insults, and talking down to type language to their readers.

Having said that I am painfully aware of how many times I’ve fallen short (a little or a lot) of actually producing what I intended to write about over the 15 years I’ve written online about the AP, and from a high and compassionate level. Writing about the AP and EP while living it is far more difficult than most realize for a range of reasons. Despite all that, I’m finding that because some of these teachers/writers who are still in 2018, saying certain things in their writings that sound and feel like judgements and mild insults, I’m increasingly having to go my own way, which is pretty much what I’ve done my whole life anyway. I’m well aware of how hard it is to write something and have 100 people read it and have 100 different interpretations of what I wrote and intended to express in my writing. I’ve dealt with this all along because it just goes with the job of writing about the AP and EP online. However in 2018, the NEW is pushing each of us to do this ourselves, and in our own unique ways, and at this time and this current level we’re each at now. As time goes on and we individually get better at being First Embodiers and energetically Sovereign beings in physical bodies, I believe these things won’t exist or won’t matter if they still do. But for now it’s increasingly feeling like, You’d better get really good at doing this yourself people! This is another aspect of becoming energetically Sovereign First Embodiers.

I hope I said just enough about this for most to recognize what I’m talking about without going into details. Recognize how advanced you are at this 20-year mark because Embodiment is a full-time job and way of life, reality and being. ❤

January 29, 2018, was another huge transitional energy shift day. The Total Lunar Eclipse was January 31st for those of you who are also having a time repeatedly locating and confining yourself in linear time. January 29th feels like half a year ago and yet it’s only been a few days. My point is that on the morning of January 29th I suddenly became super freezing cold on the inside from head to toe and shortly thereafter found myself quickly exiting my physical body via falling asleep. I slept most of that day which hasn’t happened to this degree since the big energies of 12-12-2012. The Total Lunar Eclipse two days later had very little affect on me because of what happened energetically on the 29th. Sometimes it’s not the highlighted day that’s important but the time leading up to it. In many cases, by the time we’ve reached the big day be that an Equinox, a Solstice, a Super Duper Whatever Spangled Total Lunar or Solar Eclipse, the whole thing was experienced, lived and Embodied by many PRIOR to the day or days it arrived. We went through another HUGE change energetically on January 29, 2018, two days before the Total Lunar Eclipse on January 31st.

February 1, 2018, was the 20th anniversary of my physical body biological level AP, so what happened that day makes sense to me for more reasons than the obvious. Stair-steps.

For me, twenty years ago it activated as a rapid and severe evolutionary Ascension Process at the physical body level. Twenty years later, it is the ongoing Embodiment Process at the physical body level. On the one hand the AP and EP are the same thing; on the other hand they’re radically different processes due to radically different levels of density, Light, energies, awareness, ability, existence and compatibility with greatly higher frequency Light energies. Twenty years ago I could not have done nor physically survived what I experienced in my physical body and Self Thursday, February 1, 2018. I’m sharing this experience because I know many of you went through your own versions of this in your own unique ways that were tailored to and for you at this precise time too.

With the start of January of 2017, I distinctly felt my ongoing and constantly escalating (by a little or a lot) Embodiment Process happening at greater levels than previously, as should be expected. I remember the day this happened as clearly as the day it happened one year later on February 1, 2018. I’d gone shopping in late January 2017, and while pushing my shopping cart to my car I felt so physically horrible and in such amplified pain that I honestly wondered if I’d be able to drive myself home. I was able to drive myself home but that NEW-to-me January 2017 level of physical pain and whole-body swelling was so severe that I wondered how 2017 was going to play out for the First Embodiers as it started with another EP expansion bang!

Jump forward one year to February 1, 2018, and I was shopping again and while in the store experienced this same amplification about a 100% greater than what it had been for me in January 2017. The physical pain was not only severe but was a whole-body affair and so amplified that I hoped I’d just make it to my car let alone drive myself home! I got myself home, the groceries unloaded into the house and put away. Once all the work after the work was done, I took some over-the-counter pain pills and got horizontal trying to have my muscles stop spasming and the pain stop or at least reduce a good bit. No such luck for hours on February 1, 2018 however. The severe whole-body pain continued for hours and I was not willing to endure that level of physical body pain any longer. I wanted to die and be free of that level of pain and was considering suicide in a way I never have before. Said another way, this was some serious shit going down and I wasn’t willing to suffer at such an amplified level as this was after a lifetime of other physical pains not to mention 20 years of Ascension Process pains. I tried every tactic I knew and nothing worked and it felt like the whole-body pain would break me in multiple ways. It probably would have had I not finally gotten pissed off by it all and demanded an explanation. Ya gotta LOVE the Embodiment Process!

The second I demanded an explanation to why the physical pain was so profoundly severe compared to anything I’ve ever experienced before, that blessed inner voice that sounds just like me said, “Because your Heart isn’t big enough.”

Are the images in this article of a heart expanding multiple times making sense yet? This is why; “Because your Heart isn’t big enough”… for the next level of the ongoing Embodiment.

The second I heard my inner voice Higher Awareness say this I knew exactly what it meant and why etc. I immediately set about making more personal inner adjustments to help my physical body with this painful EP moment at this NEW expanded and higher level. First I fully released and surrendered, then began intentionally breathing into my HighHeart to help it—my HighHeart—expand even more so it could comfortably house more of what was being Embodied at that moment. The second I began doing this the physical pains reduced considerably and eventually stopped altogether, however, what a moment of learning, expansion and further Embodiment it was! And, just so there’s no confusion, this EP will continue in leaps and bounds like this month after month and year after year so don’t think, believe or expect the Embodiment Process to be a once and done thing because nothing about the AP or the EP has or will ever work like that. Stair-steps because the higher frequency energies and sudden expansion would destroy our physical bodies which is exactly opposite of what’s intended with the AP and EP processes.

My heart wasn’t big enough because I was blocked, limited, fearful, hadn’t done the Inner Work or any other such incorrect thing. My heart wasn’t big enough” for another and higher frequency layer of Embodiment to happen on the physical level, comfortably.

The Embodiment Process is ongoing and much like physical exercising and “working out” to create a more healthy, fit and/or attractive physical body is. You don’t exercise only once and instantly have the “perfect body”, it takes time, effort and plenty of repetition before one even begins to see external results from all the hard sweaty exercise work. The same is true with the Embodiment Process; it takes time, effort and plenty of repetition to slowly, safely and comfortably build up and continue expanding the EP. Just like when you exercise with weights to build muscle, over time you increase the weight to build larger muscles otherwise you hit a plateau and don’t increase muscle size but just maintain what you’ve already achieved. Stair-steps.

While I was going through this February 1, 2018 Embodiment Process expansion on multiple levels, I Saw and understood many other related things that were amazing, dare I say profound even. One of the things I Saw and understood was a greatly expanded awareness about Source and Divine Mother/Feminine and how they “make LOVE”. Not “love” but LOVE. Yeah, I know, there aren’t words only HighHeart explosions at higher and more vast levels than the last one. Release and surrender over and over and over and it starts becoming normal…

The other main aspect and side effect of the ongoing Embodiment Process is that of increasingly becoming more and more energetically Sovereign individually. Source-as-Self, Self-as-Source — eventually you become Embodied enough of your Higher Selves and those energy and consciousness levels that you directly physically house enough Source energies to be capable of energetically self-sustaining your physical body and personal reality, plus Consciously Creating much more for yourself and others as well. But to ascend to this level of being in our physical bodies requires repeatedly making our Hearts bigger” so we can Embody more, greater and much higher frequency levels of our Higher Selves, energies, levels and Source. Increasingly doing so causes us to become more and more energetically Sovereign, meaning we’re becoming self-sustained, completely non-parasitic Beings of Light in physical bodies that are conscious of our multidimensional natures and interacting with them from this physical conscious level.


February 4, 2018

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Copyright © Denise Le Fay & HighHeartLife, 2018. All rights reserved. You may copy and distribute this article so long as you don’t alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author and this URL https://highheartlife.com and Copyright Notice is included.

52 thoughts on “20-Year Ascension Process Anniversary

  • Hi Denise. This breaking away and/or recognizing “important issues” are actually just belief systems is a challenge! And then realizing it equates creating and maintaining what we dont want is painful. And the thinking that, I guess old way of thinking is to identify and fight to end or change the whats happening, whick keeps us caught up in it. I find this happening to myself over and over again! Mentally and emotionally jumping on board some important bandwagon! And then realize I feel lost and adrift. Confused. The 3D issues can be so ALLURING, fascinating, and compelling! I dont even see myself drifting away from observer mode and into temptation! And then I have to dismantle and realign. And the most tempting desire of all for me is my own drama! I want to wallow and revel in certain aspects! Im not even living! So that’s my awareness for today😜😔

    • “The 3D issues can be so ALLURING, fascinating, and compelling! I dont even see myself drifting away from observer mode and into temptation! And then I have to dismantle and realign. And the most tempting desire of all for me is my own drama! I want to wallow and revel in certain aspects! Im not even living! So that’s my awareness for today😜😔 “

      It’s a really big and important one Edith. This winter quarter — December2017 Solstice through March 2018 Equinox — is much more potent than usual, which is the NEW “normal” constantly. It’s a big time for deeper level self-discovery and clearing out more old stuff so more NEW can be Embodied.

  • Denise, I know so many kids now (12-14) that are seriously having more severe symptoms. Parents are baffled. I tutor and teach/assist at a school of 2,500 teens. Before it was just fatigue I witnessed, a few years back. 34% of the class passed out at their desk on those intense weeks. More recently, last year and a half, it became anxiety attacks. Kids shaking at their lockers during intense weeks. I would sit with them as I found them. NOW, it is full on taking kids out of school, seeing specialists for their migraine headaches that have no explanation, seeing healers and homeopaths, etc. Parents are concerned. Especially now. And with a national “mystery” flu underway…
    I tutor them (no coincidence possibly). And I bite my tongue. I don’t SAY much. But the other day, I finally felt maybe I can say whatever is needed to the kids directly. One said to me, “I felt sooo heavy today when I got up.” I thought I could say, “I know I feel it, too…I’ve felt that before.” I could just tell the students moment by moment. Or….not. I would like to ask you your opinion. What do you think can be said? I will go moment by moment with it, I feel. I have faith. I don’t need to take their situation on. They will be okay, I sense, however remote that sense feels for now.

    I pray I am present and GIVE what I can.

    • Marcy,

      Thank you for sharing this important information with me and everyone else reading the Comments at HHL. It helps us all to know how other people, and children of all ages, are feeling now because of the AP and EP at those beginner levels.

      You’re totally right about being in a high state of discernment as to whether or not you should say something, what, how, how much, what not to share yet and so on. I’ve been living like this much more so since 2013 started with adults I run into (which is rare). If they say something FIRST and I can tell/feel/know that I should say something but keep it super simple and gentle sounding, then I’ll say something about the AP/EP to them. But, I usually call it compressed evolution because the unaware people are more open to that terminology instead of Ascension.

      Lisa Renee has been writing more lately about the latest mega energy changes (improvements) in her monthly articles and also in her blog articles. Here’s a link to her January 2018 article. There’s some info in it that you could use to help your kids, but maybe using slightly different words and terms so they’re not mortified, confused even more than they are already or frightened.


      “When we integrate and embody more aspects of the multidimensional higher self we also access higher dimensions of consciousness, thus our experience and perception of the physical realm greatly changes. As we acclimate to the current planetary shifts it can feel incredibly disorientating and physically uncomfortable, and at times we may experience great energetic pressure inside the body that may feel overwhelming. The sensations of massive pressure exerted upon the physical body has been described as oscillation to vibration incompatibilities, another ascension symptom. This occurs during the Embodiment process as we endure electromagnetic recalibration between the particle layers of matter vibration and higher frequency oscillations throughout the collective consciousness blueprint levels.

      At whatever level of consciousness and personal blueprint we have incarnated with on the earth, every human being is being pushed into the next level of their personal Embodiment process, to fulfill their higher spiritual identity potential. For each person, the Embodiment process is unique, and yet the majority of the collective consciousness on earth is undergoing stages of soul triad merging with relative integration phases to finally embody the soul layers. The pressure to embody will be experienced differently for many 3D people, who may experience it as intense internal anxiety or physical symptoms that can be easily labeled as medical issues, but they are unable to get to the root of the cause. This phase is most difficult for those people that are polarized in their inner masculine, and have shut down sensory feelings which disconnect them from their overall body awareness. The physical body is extremely important during this stage, as what we are here to shift on the earth can only happen while we remain inside an ascending human body.

      Many people will be required to effectively slow down and relax, to simplify their lives and just breathe, and even to isolate themselves from others as the pressure to authentically embody the higher self continues.”

      That last sentence by Lisa is of course the complete opposite of what life and reality is and has been like for the past decade! Everyone is rushing and hyper and scattered and off balance in multiple ways so they’re going to be experiencing increasing AP/EP symptoms and side effects that FORCE them into quiet, immobility and solitude periods just to survive and not have a nervous breakdown. And, about the “national mystery flu” you mentioned. I’ve felt into this and it feels for the most part like it’s the AP/EP at 2018 levels! That plus I know there’s been ongoing negative interference thrown at us all but at this point the Light has overridden the Dark and people are getting “sick” because of that change. Mind-blowing isn’t it?!

      Keep us informed about how the kids are doing and if any are open to what you share with them about this being caused from natural and highly compressed evolution. Be strong in your Higher Awareness and HighHeart Marcy, I know how hard it is having to see others struggle and suffer with embodying beginner bits of their greater selves and all that goes with that. ❤

      • Thank you, Denise!!! I will keep you posted on these beautiful creatures and their experience and progress. Speaking of that..this is for you and PhillyPam and ALL first EP comers that suffered before I! 😉 I wanted to give you a list of WHAT has happened with millenials that you may not see everyday – the beauty – over the past few years. For your Joy. And because this week I finally fully realized that you all have suffered more than I. I want to THANK YOU. I hope it’s not too long!! Or delete, it’s okay!!! If I doubt what has happened (and boy did I!), I look around and remind myself, it’s all true.

        This was/is my mission place. I’m done here, but not ejected yet! Wondering when!?! Make no mistake…these ones are SO INCREDIBLE… so worth it.

        Events of 2015-2016, grades 9-12 LA, California

        First, full on, BEAUTIFUL year here after YEARS of darkness and pain for all kids that came prior…
        Friends, walk to class holding hands, not as a couple, not as a joke.
        Group hugs during lunch – one minute, two minutes, three minutes…still hugging, upperclassmen 😉
        No CLEAR popular group, just many groups.
        Physical bullying disappears.
        Former dark stuff (energetic) finally tilted. Light now 35-55% dominant here, seemingly out of nowhere!
        Campus is a rush of dragon flies and butterflies across the ground, everywhere!
        (and we had a drought) (year prior was similar)
        Many faculty leave, loads of old energy leaves.
        Old energy that stays collapses from illness. Individuals are in and out due to illness through the year.
        School changing to feel of mini college campus.
        First moments of same sex coupling without hiding.
        New clubs forming, healing, helping, new tech stuff, cannot remember them all!! So many….
        Physical appearance of freshman begin to notice as different, smaller, leaner, unusual looking.
        Peace starts flowing over campus.
        A kid passes me by with “Back to the Future” on his t shirt one day 😉
        And I feel like “Marty” most of that year lol!

        Events of 2016-2017, grades 9-12

        Kids with more 3D stuff are more subdued, seemingly by new MAJORITY.
        Tons of new departments, student organizations are born.
        Lots of new hires.
        Campus is lit with creativity and energy!
        Loads of no gender/unidentifiable gender students on campus.
        Kids start randomly dancing on campus, to music during lunch.
        This is LA, it’s all about being cool. Cool has flown out the window, suddenly, it seems.
        Clothes change totally. All decades, generations, styles are worn, daily. No ONE way of anything, anymore.
        Louder, they are louder.
        Bolder, speaking up, asking questions.
        Looking you in the eye.
        More new freshman are now tinier and more ethereal looking than year prior. Shockingly so.
        Same sex couples happily hold hands.
        Multitudes now hold hands walking to class.
        One kid dances in the quad when it rains. All by himself. Or when he likes the music. This catches on with others.
        And 2200 things I don’t know about or don’t remember….
        A girl crosses the quad with “Heaven on Earth” on her T shirt, this time 😉
        And they remind me yet again of the truth of this all!


        High School is now a college campus. How did THAT happen?
        Kids behave like child-like grown people!
        No dominant group.
        The seniors have stopped being mean or top dog 2 years ago. Their norm is permanently changed. Power scale evens out.
        Gay is totally okay.
        LOADS homosexual or NO gender or BOTH gender identity kids. Some you can SEE both genders or you see NO gender.
        New energy has spread out EVEN, like sunshine-peanut butter. Not in clumps or percentages anymore. 😉
        AP/EP now visibly kicking asses of significant, but small, percentage of students.

        I wish I could remember more for your enjoyment. I hope their was some Joy for you! SO much LOVE. All through their world. Like CandyLand. Different. Not trying to make it out to be perfect, but it is fairly perfectly imperfect now LOL!!!

        Peace to ALL of you. Thank you for your LOVE and help. I am humbled by it.

    • Marcy, I AM so Grateful that you are ‘there’ for these children. Make no doubt about it. The millenials came in with DNA antennas wired to BE woken up as a group. And that ‘time’ is Now. The problem, as I see it, is the nutrition and electromagnetic interference. They are all carrying devices damaging their fields. They are eating poisoned and implanted foods. The chemtrail flu is literally to take them out. Their neurological, glandular, electromagnetic systems must BE detoxed and they have to BE taught how to ground and breath. Or they will fry. ALL of us must help these children. Please. ALL my Love.

      • phillypam & Marcy & All,

        I’m going to use these particular comment conversations to add something I feel is really important about this. It’s all very fresh in my body and awareness due to my having to deal with my taxes, what the IRS did to them and why last year, how that affected me and my “future” at those old levels (that are disappearing anyway!!!), and interacting with people in these environments (tax office and other like places) over the past week.

        I can only deal with — physically and emotionally, psychologically — people at lower levels of awareness about everything, plus who work in any of the old 3D patriarchal systems and still have highly dedicated beliefs about them for short periods of time. After my having submerged myself in these types of places of business and with people that work in them, I very quickly am affected by those lower energies and consciousness and it becomes, FOR ME, a situation of MY not letting MYSELF become imbalanced, angry, saddened by it all, feel defeated and fall into “victim-hood”. After these still mandatory trips into what I call (to make myself feel better about having to go there yet again) the Underworld, I HAVE to have a few days of absolute quiet and being alone so I can recover from having gone into those old lower levels where people still belief in those systems and so on. I HAVE to do a lot of things to recover from spending too much time down there when I as yet don’t have enough Self-Sovereign higher dimensional energy and fuel to not be affected by going into the Underworld to have my taxes done or my car worked on or my hair cut or taking my mom to her doctors and so on.

        Honestly, it’s not an easy situation for any First Embodier to go into any of these old 3D patriarchal systems and structures and obediently and repeatedly jump through their hoops when they demand we do, and pay top dollar for it all as well! None of this is or has been easy for us all these years and now decades, so how is that any different for the younger people, teens, young kids and very young children who’ve incarnated with more NEW wiring already built in them?

        It’s wildly different in NEW and greatly improved ways because the world and energies/Light of it isn’t anything as dense and negative as what we older people have lived in and through all these AP years. Yes the kids are empathic and super sensitive but this is the NEW normal for everyone incarnating into the NEW 5D ascended/ascending Earth! So it really is now more about removing the old consciousness and systems and habits etc. of the negative 3D patriarchal world that so many people are still functioning from because it’s the ONLY thing they’re aware of. They are not running the world anymore which means the more WE Embody more and more of the NEW everything (Codes, architecture, blueprints, Light, energies etc.) the faster this half-in and half-out Separation of Worlds “bifurcation” pain in the heart and ass crap will last. Any way we look at this stage of the AP and EP processes for ourselves, for the kids, for the unaware young and old, it’s all getting rather tricky and painful trying to straddle two wildly different levels of reality energetically, physically and emotionally.

        No pressure First Embodiers/Forerunners/Pathpavers but we cannot afford, in any way, to let up for a second with what we’re doing as First Embodiers. As difficult as it can oftentimes be, walk into the tax office, the dentists office, the DMV, the auto repair place, the grocery store etc. as the Great Being of the NEW that you are and let them make the adjustments, not the other way around anymore. We’re well beyond that phase and stage finally.

        Just like the “Me Too” and “Time’s Up” issues and movements and NEW consciousness, it’s also time for those of us that know about the AP and EP processes to carefully and with great discernment let more and more kids know about what they’re going through, why, and that there are millions of other people older than them who’ve been doing this for many years and decades too. This is not about validating old 3D victimhood over chemtrails and toxins in absolutely everything (not so much anymore due to the ever-present Photon Light and other NEW energies literally obliterating all old lower energies etc. etc.), but about learning about the AP and EP and why and how we’re in evolutionary transition in all ways out of the old 3D level of reality and being and now existing within the fifth dimensional NEW ascending Earth world. Go forth and educate about the NEW to those who are ready to consciously know. Also some of you might consider teaching, educating the younger/young ones about how to "decompress" after being in lower frequency places and around lower consciousness people of any age! We've all got to help others learn how to Self-Care and recuperate, be quiet and alone to clear lower stuff we've been subject to from other people and places etc. and how to not let people still existing in parasitic levels with parasitic consciousness and habits etc. take our personal energies and life “fuel”. ❤ ❤ ❤

        • Five years ago I funded a new school for parents who wanted to homeschool their millenials and keep them out of the dreadful Mexican public school system. I Created the school specifically BEcause I wanted them to have a healthy, organic, detoxified, spiritual environment, knowing how special they are and this wake-up time would come. The children garden, they play, they meditate. These children experience ascension headaches and symptoms, even at young ages, but not severe or unmanageable. So I AM going to maintain that EMF and toxins and vaccines are interfering in the USA especially. It is pretty obvious, or the dark wouldn’t be piling their resources into these nefarious programs. A no cell phone, no wi-fi policy in schools would BE a good way to start.

        • “So I AM going to maintain that EMF and toxins and vaccines are interfering in the USA especially.”

          You focus and reinforce whatever you want phillypam, just don’t get upset with me for not focusing on old negative things but on the NEW.

        • Dearest Denise,

          I would like to chime in on your comment here. I took this to heart today when I went out (I tend to anyway, reminding myself in a moving/living meditation from the heart always). There were so many people whose smile was just as radiant as I gave to them which was amazing. People seemed to really be open and wanted to connect in a “Higher” manner even if is was just having a conversation of what I thought about the food I was purchasing.

          On my way home I finally realized on a Higher Level what you (and others) have been trying to convey to us all… That we’re ALREADY in the NEW Energies. I was driving home and looking at the sky when it blossomed in me: my physical eyes still primarily “see” the “old” world because that’s what I’ve been used to seeing. However, I “Felt” that the “Real New Earth World” IS already here, it’s just that I don’t fully See/see it on a consistent basis as yet. I get glimpses and feelings and such, however even though I don’t “See” it or “Feel” it 100% of the time doesn’t mean that it’s not HERE. I got the sense that if I were to peel back the screen, I Could See it, like I could just reach out and touch it. I know there are many levels and layers to this as well, however I felt like this is a big one… one that perhaps a lot on the path are struggling to understand for themselves. So I wanted to share my feeling/understanding that I had today on that. A more popular reference would be the matrix movie when Morpheus shows Neo the “world as it was” on the tv and then the “world as it is now” with a click of the remote. So if you imagine that in reverse (the old dark and gross place we’ve been living in for years, to this NEW world as it is NOW), that’s how I felt it to be, that’s how I understood it finally on that level… the matrix has Already Changed, however it’s up to each of us to peel it back for ourselves to See it. It just feels so BIG to me and important.

          Much Love to you All,

        • Regarding post by Chrysalis of February 8th, I would just like to say that I too am “feeling” into New Earth (only catching glimpses of it, mostly through what I see in the skies and in Nature) but believe it will become more and more visible to us as we embody more Light. It’s always been here but with all the distortions in us and around us, we couldn’t connect with it before.

          Blessings to all here.

        • Dear Thelma,

          Yes, that’s it exactly. I’m so heartened to know that you’ve experienced this as well. It’s sort of like christmas eve (in the “old” world feeling) when you KNOW the presents are coming when the sun comes up, and you’re SO excited you can almost taste it! This is so much better and deeper and wider. Knowing the New IS here and it’s up to us to allow the New Light in us so we can See/Experience it all the time.

          HighHeart Love to you,

  • Thank you for the LOVING entry Denise!!! I wanted to mention the Super Bowl in regards to saying goodbye-3D. However goofy!! And everything having to GO now. The underdog won this game. I felt it could happen since “systems” are off and 5D is ON. I wanted to SEE if it would happen and be inspired. And I NEEDED to SEE it happen, acted out on a stage, see the new REAL. We are too kicked and tossed by this right now to see clearly the greatness of it. At least I am. So, I watched…to see…if it would happen. If faith, LOVE, courage, preparation PUT into the freedom of pure PLAY, could actually WIN now. Instead of perfection, power, and desperate need. The wanting to win team is veeeeery goood at it. Normally does. BUT NOT in THIS new light. I WATCHED the OLD be struck down. I didn’t hate it. I didn’t pity it. I felt compassion for ALL souls on the field. And I SAW with my OWN eyes how WE win now. We just fully PLAY now whole heart no end gaming. The honesty and courage was so great. It gave me hope and strength. I’m heading out into the world now, AP symptoms in tow! I needed to SEE this. I wanted to share with you…and all. I pray my faith grows so great that I can be such a great player in this new GAME! And JUST PLAY!!!!

    I walked home after this, I turn to see a sale sign “EVERYTHING MUST GO.” All the dark expressed is ….OLD now. IT seems like some OLD house or shoe box or your grandfather’s something or other, dingy, dull and has no energy in the present anymore and I’m scared because I know this is coming FAST…isn’t it?!

  • Dear Denise,
    I experienced such similar challenges before the eclipse (they always come before, retrogrades included) that I wanted to let you know how not alone you are. Our experiences and questions are so similar, it makes me wonder how we weren’t born together.

    While the pre-eclipse energies were pummeling me, I challenged my celestial Team to explain what was happening. In the hubris of youth, I once declared, “I can withstand anything as long as I can understand it.” To this day, in the middle of any crisis, I seek first to understand; the symptoms usually abate with that knowing.

    I honestly thought I was in trouble physically and mentally, but for some reason I did not seek professional help–as if any doctor or psychologist could help with this!

    I had let my dishes go for a couple of days, then walked over to the sink on a wave of productivity. While my hands were once again in the water–a ritual that has brought so many profound insights–the answer came. An inner voice that doesn’t make any sound said, “Growing pains. You have to expand to contain the soul you’ve asked to embody.”

    The most dramatic experience of the pre-eclipse process, however, came when I asked to see the world through God’s eyes. I’ve done this off and on for most of my adult life, even wrote a manuscript about it, but I never published it because I couldn’t authentically say I’d been there, and if asked to report what I saw, I’d have been wordless. That changed with this energy surge in January.

    Having been stretched by deep inner work these past years, when I asked this time to see it all through God’s eyes, an astonishing thing happened. My vision did not change; everything around me stayed the same, but the feelings inside were judgment-free for the first time ever. It just dropped away. A veil disappeared that would have been sponsoring all manner of reactions to how dry the garden is, how chemtrail-streaked the sky is, how this or that … but none of that was present. Instead, there was a sense of deep satisfaction and admiration for all there is. The paternal feeling of looking at your own child and recognizing the flaws and struggles happening there, but loving the whole package unconditionally and absolutely, that feeling penetrated my gaze and drenched every object my eyes fell upon, from leaf, to dirty clothes, to raven in flight … it was all perfect. All. Perfect. And in process. All exactly perfectly in process, and with infinite possibility and unlimited fascination for what will happen next.

    Blessings to you, Denise, on your journey. How courageous and dedicated you are. Respect …

    • Jeannine Seymour,

      Thank You for the beauty, accuracy and High Awareness of your amazing Comment. ❤ I don't recall seeing your name show up here before and I'm so very glad you decided to share what you did. Every word is deep truth.

      When I was in my early thirties I was "in love" with a young man but, what I really wanted was to feel "being in love" all on my own without another person involved. I wanted to be "in love/LOVE" as a natural state of being, life, reality, consciousness and so on. It sounds like you experienced this, if only briefly, but it changes one forever when it happens. To have all of the mind stuff removed so that nothing is left but the HighHeart and Source stuff, even for just a few moments, is so life-sustaining and creative.

      “…it was all perfect. All. Perfect. And in process. All exactly perfectly in process, and with infinite possibility and unlimited fascination for what will happen next.”

      I just want to put a huge goofy smiling face here! 🙂 And to me that is LOVE; the endless need to Create and every bit of it is perfection, even those parts that other aspects deem imperfect. Thank you again for your brilliance and for sharing it here. ❤ ❤ ❤

      • Greetings Denise,

        I so GET your response to Jeannine’s transcendent understanding of the perfection of the AP/EP experience, especially your wishes of having wanted/wanting to feel “being in love all on my own without another person involved” and wanting to be “in love/LOVE as a natural state of being, life, reality, consciousness,” etc. I have felt both of these states of being from time to time, and then I’ll experience a “come-uppance” to remind me that I’m not there yet 24/7 (horrors!). For me, your and Jeannine’s observations are THE crux…the fulcrum…of the incoming 5D day-to-day, moment-to-moment way of being, living and thriving. I will go out on a limb and say that I am certain that these foundations ARE THE ASCENSION, in spiritual/emotional form. These awarenesses are the essence of the perennial teachings from old Tibetan and other ancient traditions and I, for one, am LOVING the not-knowingness of how big are hearts are NOW, and are becoming. Imagine what it would feel like to have EVERY thought be a loving thought!! My profoundest gratitude to you, Jeannine and all here who are learning to remember “instinctively” that LOVE is the answer, and the extraordinary SELF-compassion that is required from each of us to reside in this “space” in every moment of NOW. How big can all of our hearts become?? Limitlessly large, I suspect! Thank you again for reminding me that wanting to feel and BE this way all the time, is absolutely essential as an evolutionary imperative on this planet at this extraordinary “time.” Much love to you and all!

        • raymondlboeri,

          I’ve had many a “come-uppance” too over my lifetime and I know there’s more to come but it’s all part of our perceiving ALL this from different levels, exactly as Source desired.

          I named my first AP site TRANSITIONS because that’s what was going on, and still is. I named by second AP and EP site HighHeartLife because THAT’s what we’re transitioning into, slowly and steadily. I agree 100% with your perception about the Ascension Process and LOVE and it being necessary to get to one’s HighHeart consciousness, frequency, seat of being etc. to even be able to begin living from a constant state of Unity and increasing LOVE frequency. It’s a huge evolutionary jump but we’re doing it and everything is changing because of this.

          I’ve said before that if we just removed all the monsters (darkness, negativity, evil, unconsciousness etc. etc.), that life and reality would be amazingly wonderful, because under all that crap and distortion is pure Source, LOVE, which is in my opinion the eternal desire and need to create anew.

          And while we’re on the subject of “LOVE” (not old 3D ego-based need “love”), I’ve often wanted to write an article just about LOVE and what it is and isn’t, to the degree that I’m currently able to perceive and Embody IT. But, that’s a big topic and people have profoundly incorrect and limited understandings about LOVE, and most of it is still based on the old lower frequency 3D ego “love” which is totally emotional and overly theatrical in most cases. Maybe this year is the year to tackle this topic Raymond. We might be ready for it finally! 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤

  • Our Hearts got shut down so early in life, and all through it. Parents not BElieving or supporting me, even after an abduction as a child. A husband abandoning me in a mental hospital in the ’80’s. WE had no one to share our experiences with for five plus decades, and if WE did, it did not go well for us. While WE AMazingly did the work legions of second wavers, indigos, crystals could not even imagine. So I forgive myself for not feeling the Joy of BEing human during this Shift, BEcause I AM that I AM, and it is not that. This past eclipse had me processing a lot of anger for not being understood or protected. I get it, but I can’t take much more, I AM exhausted. I woke up one morning hearing ‘8 more weeks’, which marked off to March 30th. I feel the acceleration and ALL I can say is my high team better have my ass while I expand my Heart. Love you so much SiStar, and ALL who have committed to their missions 100%, even through the pain, I AM holding you in my Heart also.

    • “While WE AMazingly did the work legions of second wavers, indigos, crystals could not even imagine.”

      Yep, being a First Waver, a First Embodier, a Forerunner of the Forerunners, a Forerunner, a Pathpaver etc. is so much more than most even really understand yet. They will however. ❤

      I'm going to take this opportunity to go into more explanation Pamela & All, about why I seriously considered suicide February 1st and why I got so angry about the incredibly amplified physical pain that suddenly hit me that day. It takes soooo much to get me to this point and it’s very rare so when I go off like this and very loudly and intentionally transmit what this EP during the Separation of Worlds and casting off all the old energetic architecture while Embodying to the Ones at higher levels, which are aspects of us (our Higher Selves etc.), it’s heard and felt far and wide instantly. And because of this, whatever adjustments and/or greater insights, reminders, Higher Awareness and general quickening of the whole AP is effected and shifted somewhat.

      Said another way, my Higher Crew & Co. knows that when I reach this point it’s super important and big adjustments need to happen immediately, and they did; I perceived exactly what I needed to in that crucial moment to help myself, my physical body, me here and my Higher Selves elsewhere and more. The reason for this immediate help and instant tweaking to reduce and/or remove the pain (whatever it is at those moments) is because without you and me living the AP and EP process IN OUR PHYSICAL BODIES none of this would be able to take place, manifest and anchor the NEW codes, the NEW energetic architecture into the physical level. That is how important, how valuable, how needed you/me/we are. I know it looks and feels like we’re abandoned down here on physical Earth going through all this living hell for decades but we are the best of the best at doing exactly what we’re doing so many of the others in higher dimensions forget sometimes about pain, exhaustion, difficulties and how time feels to the incarnate in physicality. So, when one of us screams in revolt on occasion over the sheer brutality of the AP and EP as First Embodiers, we are heard and felt and changes happen instantly because of it. We are so, so needed down here to do what we’re old pro’s at, that help — in whatever form will benefit us and the EP and ALL the most — is immediate.

      More of us are easily feeling the higher level changes that have taken place over the past few weeks and months. I keep feeling the second half of 2018 is going to be very NEW and different in greatly improved ways for we First Embodiers. Group Gratitude ❤ hug.

      • YES! WE ARE like guinea pigs, ha! Years ago, when they were testing how much frequency to let loose on us and I levitated in bed, was when I realized I had signed up to do that too. WE do it ALL first! A few days ago after being really frustrated, I was shown in a naptime dream (which are always messages) that I AM WE ARE making sure the ‘structure’ and ‘mechanics’ are all in place BEfore the others can follow. I AM so Grateful when I receive your posts Denise. So much Love SiStar and ALL!

      • Beautiful and absolute truthfully are your words! As I wrote before in one of you’re other topics in the comments “Way up there (higher dimensions) everything is nice but down here in 3 D its grrrrrrrrrr. Yes we have to hold on there is no other way, but for the human side, it can be overwhelming, challenge and painful. In the heat of everything, we have to keep on reminding where we are here for To embodying our Mastery in the body. Masters that we truly are!

        With Gratitude and Love Diviana

      • Denise and others, I hope you can feel the deep heartfelt gratitude from me for everything you’ve done for decades and continue to do. I admit that reading about your intensely painful physical experiences has at times triggered fear that I will have to endure the exact same in order to continue the AP/EP. I’m 37 and no stranger to physical trauma/hell, but not in the same ways as you. I recently have been thinking that THANKS TO YOU, my experience has been and likely will be “easier.” Not only the physical but also the emotional/mental/spiritual aspects because of your sharing. Reading this thread drove that point home even further. So, I really wanted to tell you that I witness and appreciate and love you for going first. Thank you. ❤️

        • “I recently have been thinking that THANKS TO YOU, my experience has been and likely will be “easier.” Not only the physical but also the emotional/mental/spiritual aspects because of your sharing.

          Thank you Kara for understanding and accepting, without any ego or BS or negativity like most lower consciousness people do, that somebody HAS to go first and “Pathpave” for everyone else coming on their heels and on and on and on. This is why I’ve used the term Forerunners of the Forerunners because that’s exactly how it’s been. You put the heavy equipment up front to do the dirty and difficult work first so the next step and layers and stages of the building process is easier for everyone else to do their individual jobs. That’s all this is about, and the “heavy equipment up front” very much needs each and every Forerunner coming up behind them to do what they’re exceptional at within the AP and EP. We’re all construction crews for the NEW.

          No you won’t need to go through the same things I have nor will they be as difficult, dangerous or lengthy because that NEW groundwork has already been done. You and your expertise is needed in other areas that the “heavy equipment up front” aren’t contracted to do. And I do feel your gratitude and everyone else’s too. ❤ ❤ ❤

  • Hi Denise,

    Thank you for your writings, they are very helpful! I feel like I have been at this process to for over 20 years. Lately, I grow frustrated because I only want to do what’s in my highest and best soul’s purpose, but I don’t quite know what that is. I continue to hope to find new opportunities that feel right for me.

  • Hello
    I started to feel high energy in the body some days before 31 january. In the night felt pressure just below heart chakra. Some days very tired. To-day the body started to feel pain in the back and both legs. Energy pressure. At the same time I feel cold.

  • Bless you. And thank you 💐
    Sometimes it is impossible being human. And I think I understand a little about the suicide feeling. Sometimes the body just hurts too much. But you are still here helping us all. And we are all here still moving forward xxxx
    There is a tube station in London called Bank. It has a large gap between the train and platform edge. There is always an announcement to “mind the gap”. I think that is great advice for 2018. There is nothing left to say.
    Love and light xxx

  • Hello, Denise 20 years my God I forget to count the years! AP and EP= an art/living and we don’t know what will be next on the corner!!! With the 10 years kundalini as initiation (what is also incredible) its almost 30 years.
    Anyway, January for me after the 24 its horrible. Cant hardly speak, extreme pain in the chest, dreams are bizarre. I live for some weeks in a void of nothingness. No taste for anything. Yes, I also had the felt to leave. Live can be horrible here; not much that’s attractive to enjoy.Only if the stream of joy enters the Heart! But for this moment it looks far away.

    I hope (it should be!!) that life will get Lighter after the solar eclipse next week.
    with Love Diviana (NL)

  • As always thank you Denise for sharing with us! Bless you. Physical pain and coldness can be eased with a bio mat/medi crystal mat. Embodiment is a tough process! Lots of love and a big hug :). Lori

  • Dear Denise,

    There’s nothing for you to feel “amiss” about (even if you would have LIKED to do more), as your writings on the AP/EP both at Transitions and here at HighHeartLife have helped so many to make sense of a complex, difficult and unacknowledged topic.

    The fact that you’re still at it after 15 years is testament to your great courage and determination to make this info accessible to those who need it. Sorry to hear about the extreme body pain you were in, but I’m so glad you demanded – and received – an answer!

    I believe we are each being prompted to release whatever blockages are still impeding us energetically… I recently unblocked the frozen energy between me and my father, who just passed on close to age 99. All my life I “knew” I loved him deep down but could not FEEL it. He spent the last 42 years with a woman who I saw in one of my dreams as Reptilian. She only showed her true colors at the end of his life, when he was the most vulnerable. I prayed to his Higher levels that he be released if it was his Divine plan; he died 20 days after his stroke.

    I too have gotten the message about the need to “expand my Heart space” to allow more Light to come in. Doing what brings me joy and nourishes my Soul and dropping what does NOT is helping me. We need to love ourSelves always and in ALL ways.

    Gratitude & love to you and all here.

  • Thank you Denise.
    I have found the last weeks or so almost unbearable too. Everything has hurt and I feel like I have been shuffling along like an old person. I just can’t be bothered with anyone or anything. Zero effort. Which is not like me. I have been having dreams which make no sense but somehow have plugged into some deep issues that go back to being a child. And it’s like I am not present in my everyday for periods of time. Forgetful is an understatement.
    I am not prepared to put up with a moment of drama. Hence spending a lot of time by myself.
    Thank for your writing. It is really appreciated.
    Love and light

    • “I am not prepared to put up with a moment of drama. Hence spending a lot of time by myself.”

      I’ve felt the exact same way for years now Magda however, the second half of 2017 into 2018 has amplified this and much more beyond anything I’ve felt before. I know why this and the other related things are happening and when I have the energy, sustained focus 😆 , strength and desire I’ll write more about these current MEGA changes within the AP and EP processes.

      And in a couple of hours I’m going to have my taxes done. So-called “reality” is beyond stupefying at this point. 😐 And yes, I too am intentionally not starting conversations of any kind because it’s so irritating, frustrating, mind-blowing, heartbreaking, repulsive and 100 other things when I’ve tried. The gap was unbearable before this 2017 – 2018 shift but now it’s beyond words. Gonna be an interesting year for all Stair-step levels.

      • Greetings Denise,

        Again, apologies if this is too much off topic. I wanted to share/speak to the breaking down/falling away of the “old systems”. I would’ve commented about this on your previous article, however I’m responding to your comment on doing your taxes. I tried to do them (my taxes) how I’ve done them for years online and it wasn’t working! Couldn’t print it out to mail it in because of a “do not print” watermark that was promised to be removed by a certain date. I had to download the blank form and fill it out myself which I haven’t done in years. Computer systems everywhere seem to be lagging and slowing down. Still looking for my house… and the interest rate is “supposed to” go up, so I asked my credit union what their rates were and it turns out I can’t qualify for what I need with them (even though I already qualified elsewhere). It all feels so backwards, upside down and difficult. However, I realized this is part of the “physical” breaking down all the “old” crappy systems that have nothing to do with LOVE.

        I’m also sick of the drama. I’m calling people on stuff way more often and I’m taking steps to “unplug” from those kinds of situations so I don’t have to deal with them eventually. I don’t have any more patience for ego-crap every moment that passes… even my own impatient self with being impatient with others.

        I also want to chime in and say how deeply you are loved by me and it “feels” like so many other silent readers here. I’m so sorry for the excruciating pain you’ve had to endure over the years to your breaking point. I’m glad you were able to find the answer in that moment and find respite. I’m so very grateful for all the effort you put forth in the work that you do… I can’t speak for anyone except myself, however I can feel it from everyone here… we LOVE you and are so grateful for you, your life, your work, your heart.


        • “I’m also sick of the drama. I’m calling people on stuff way more often and I’m taking steps to “unplug” from those kinds of situations so I don’t have to deal with them eventually. I don’t have any more patience for ego-crap every moment that passes… even my own impatient self with being impatient with others.”

          Chrysalis & All,

          Good gawd today was so horrible in a negative energy way. I felt things change and go bad while I was in the shower this morning but I had no idea that the rest of the day would feel so ugly. The negative, egoic, unaware types were out in force today; you could feel them prowling around trying to get away with whatever negative crap they could. It was very strange today. Anyone else notice or feel this and/or have some egoic idiot(s) try to pull manipulative stunts on you today and/or lie to you repeatedly etc.? On the other hand, and thank gawd there finally is an other hand with this, there were some very good, very honest, very heartfelt moments with another person today too.

          You’ll enjoy this Chrysalis and relate because of the chaos with trying to get your taxes taken care of. I got to my tax appointment today only to have the woman who does them be a no-show, which was okay because I’d sensed this would happen last week with her. It turned out that the other woman working at the tax office discovered that my W-2 was totally wrong! Whoever had done it got the amounts way wrong so I have to get employer to correct this before I can move forward with taxes. Delays are sometimes potential disaster checkpoints. 😉 And yes, the entire old 3D patriarchy collapse has accelerated like crazy with the shift into 2018. It’s going to be a hell of a year on multiple levels — good, bad, ugly, beautiful and more.

          And Thank You Chrysalis & All for your High ❤ Love, it means more to me than all of you know. And so far this year it's feeling like we really need to be there for each other like never before. The imbalanced, the unaware, those who only have what’s collapsing are already showing signs of getting much more imbalanced this year. We all understand this and why but I’m not willing to take any negativity anymore from psychopaths, liers, manipulators, the imbalanced, parasitic people etc., and I know I’m not supposed to and neither are the rest of you who’ve been Pathpaving the AP from the start.

      • This “aloneness” and “being by myself” way of living and just being is something that has become part of life ever since the process started, not that I had many many friends before this but it is so devastating sometimes and today mostly though I’m used to it by now, truly having not anyone at all actually to be with, feel with, relate to. I think on what the word “best friend” means and think…no one. I say this because I recently felt the utter futility of trying to relate at a deeper emotional level to someone who I feel I had a soul connection to only to have the professional wall come down of being guarded and brief on their part. Why is it that humanity has become so compartmentalized in their external roles as “adults” and “professionals”, that there cannot be a soul-level relating between people? Heartbreaking is the word when one actually would like to relate to another only then to realize “oh…so even you are another wrong person to be trying this with”.

        • Denise this comment was supposed to follow your reply to Magda. It seems a bit insensitive to follow Blue Cliffs. love you lots!

        • Really good humour – it is really an inflammation so warm and cozy to be kindled, sunny. 😛 I was thinking on this last night and realized, okay this is also about me finding soul mate-ship within myself and not looking out there for relating, relationship, what have you. As much as hermit-ing is where it’s at sometimes and doesn’t feel like something I would choose, I see how even finding a soul mate, twin flame, etc. I need consciously to re-realize the wholeness, completeness I’ve found inside myself first…which is the basis isn’t it.

  • Denise thank you so much for having the strength on multiple levels to share the intensity of your past week. I also had immense emotional and physical pain in the lead up to the eclipse and almost lost my hold on this dimension on feb 2. It was just so next level intense that it almost annihilated me. 2018 is turning out to be more of a challenge than I envisaged! I feel like January lasted 2 years in energy time. I’m so exhausted! 💜

  • Thank you Denise for your candid and honest portrayal of this AP
    These past few months have been so intense at times that I have felt like I am vibrating out of my body. The pain can become so great that I go into panic and this has started happening more often and thru this most recent onset of energies it feels like I will die any moment.
    Meditative states are impossible to achieve. I have been stranded out in 3D reality not knowing if I can make it back to my house and just get hortizontal. It is the most disconcerting and uncomfortable purging I have done so far.
    And yes this process started for me in 1994 so it has been 25 years. In the summer months of the 2017 I was waking up at night between 2 and 4 AM and vomiting. Then I could usually get back to sleep. Some days I could barely function.
    The headaches are massive at times and are mostly at the frontal lobe, recently they have been at the crown chakra. But they can be temporal or.occipital or ocular.
    Dizziness,lower back pain is so bad at times I can not walk upright and I just shuffle around..other times I feel wonderful and this is the only reason I am still on the planet. I am eating Almost entirely fruits and vegetables.no gluten,no dairy, no caffeine, very little chicken and salmon.
    My shoulders were so miserable, especially the right shoulder, frozen shoulder, that I could not sleep on it for almost 2 years. That phase has past thankfully.
    My blood work and blood pressure are normal by medical standards. The doctors tell me I look healthy. I feel like shit a big part of the time. My nervous system is haywire. I get intense heat sensations. And cold spells.
    Since 1997 I have had excruciating aches at the point of my sternum, the high heart.
    Thankfully these intense bouts of deep excruciating pain have been less frequent the past few yearss
    I experienced deep emotional release in the mornings for over 2 years around 2009-2010. I would cry for no reason. I went thru agoraphobia for a year or so,something I would not wish on anyone.i had TMJ for 8 months early on in this AP..
    I have a background in spiritual persuits,I was a forerunner in Maharishi Mehesh Yogis TM movement in the late 60s, was an apprentice to Don Miguel Ruiz for 6 years between 1997 and 2003. I add this only as a sample of the difficulty the AP / EP can be and how spiritual focus brings about healing crisis after healing crisis
    At this point I just want it to be done, I just want to go home.
    Before all this started I was serene,laid back and a productive artist ….
    Today I can only live in the now moment. Any other thots of the past or future elicit anxiety.
    I used to travel the world now I can barely make it to the grocery and back.
    Despite all of this I hold out hope. namaste and blessings to all of those with transformational experiences . And thank you again Denise for your reports and tireless work. LOVE, Crazywolf

    • I feel you, Crazywolf, with your honest and heart-felt description of how your journey is and has been for a long time. Right now I want to thank you from my high heart to yours, for how you’ve nearly gone out-of-this-world to be able to stay and grow in this world.

  • Denise ..thanks so much for this. On February 1st I felt so exhausted and in so much pain I thought something was seriously wrong with me. The last couple day’s after January 31st and days leading up to lunar eclipse I could not catch my breath and literally felt like I was in a state of panic 24/7 and did not understand what was happening! As i write this the pain in my body and legs are so great ..I have tried everything and nothing has worked except after meditating and reiki although fleeting. I have been waiting for your post because I knew this wasn’t just me experiencing this and can feel quite lonely. I too feel like I wanted to give up due to all the pain, purging and exhaustion which can be simply too much. It mean’s a lot that you share your story and I wanted to personally say thank you and know that I can make it through this. I know this for all of our highest good but sometimes we all need a little encouragement. Love and light to you with many blessings 🙂

  • Hi Denise,

    I really felt the need to come out of hiding so to speak and on here and just say
    congratulations on 20 years dear one. Here is to another 20 so you can keep
    writing more and more and helping others transition into a higher heart light

    Much love

    Michael C Murdock

  • Hi Denise,

    Like you went through a very difficult AP time last January, I too went through the most awful leg of this journey over the summer with lots of pain coming up for healing. At one point, I too cleared a suicidal type energy this summer that was more the clearing of intense accumulated feelings throughout this lifetime of not wanting to be-tired of being here on Earth. It was the feeling of sadness, homesickness, and grief of being on such a backward, dark planet, and it was awful to stew in the potent concentrated energy of it for 1-2 days while it surfaced for clearing this summer.

    My take on what happened is that huge new, potent, powerful light energy came in to me last June 2017 which resulted in a huge three month cleansing/purging that lasted until August 2017. It was extremely challenging. By September 2017, I integrated a lot more energy felt in my heart which I’ve described as soft, floaty, light, warm, and gentle and that continued to push old stuff out on and off for the next several months. It’s literally an energy field residing there now that has gotten more and more pronounced and integrated in my being since June 2017 when it first showed up.

    I now feel the sun differently. The sun feels like how this energy now residing in my heart-chest feels like which is soft, light, warm, peaceful, and gentle. It’s like the sun is the outward light of what I feel within. It’s a very beautiful sensation-feeling-perception to bask in the sun and fell this light both within and on the physical outside. This of course is the Divine and the energy that we feel when we cross over after physical death or during a near death experience, and I/we am now embodying it and sensing-perceiving-receiving the same frequency of energy of it coming from the sun. It’s very pronounced and I can definitively say this is happening. I’m still heavily going into other dimensions at night and doing lots of healing work during that time with very pronounced, strong energy in my heart area in the mornings. Strong sensations of bodily healing in the mornings like feeling toxic stuff going out. I’m still trying to get the hang of how to work with this heart energy and I’m thinking faster and easier manifestation is a part of it, but I need more time to experience it to definitively say this. I’m pretty sure it is because I was given clear communication through symbols starting last early spring that said this would happen. In addition, I was getting dreams starting years ago with royal ‘kingdom of heaven within’ imagery that also communicated this and one time-symbol marker in this dream was Prince Harry finding love and getting married which is happening now. It’s my strong sense of how things are going, but I’m not totally sure yet so will continue to see how it unfolds.

    Very tired. 😴 Lots of intense work all night in dreams, and last night waking up every few hours with high emotions clearing various fear and panic type energies. Tired and disoriented today clearing stuff from last night.

    Thank you Denise and ❤️❤️❤️ to you and all!

    PS..Forgot to mention or clarify….things do in fact seem to be manifesting faster and easier and I think what may be happening is that whatever needs to happen to speed up the desire-intention i.e. clearing any block to it may be happening in large part at night in these extremely busy, other dimensional reality dreams. I need more time to experience and note what happens in my physical reality to really say for sure that this faster-easier manifestation is happening, but I’m pretty sure that it is. Trying hard to make sense here and hope I am! Very tired today! ❤

  • I have been experiencing that whole “intensity before the actual big day” thing for some time now. So good to see I’m not alone 🙂 :)! Sometimes the actual “big days” are almost anticlimactic. If you think about it, it makes sense, because we are slipping time into multi dimensionality….flow and non-linear, even spherical consciousness. Maybe this is just another way of Spirit prying us loose from the whole linear time structure where life (and ascension/embodiment) can be conveniently scheduled & planned for to avoid disruption:) One more training wheel off the bike….:)

    At least some of us have an idea of what’s up and can follow the energy….imagine what it must be like for the as yet, completely clueless….it’s got to be rather scary trying to fit the square pegs of what’s happening to you into the round holes of an old, crumbling reality….

  • 10 years AP anniversary for me and just when I was feeling confident that there would be no big challenge health wise from the process going forward I am whammed again.
    I had 3 intense years and had to work very smart and hard to survive. I had to reacquaint myself with herbal medicine and support every organ and cell with the appropriate nourishment to be able to live. Much emotional release work and giving up attachments to so much. Use of Quantum Physics biofeedback machine (yes it authentic spiritual science in the hands of a true and authentic lightworker. Acupuncture to remove blockages (I can do acupressure myself now so can take even more responsibility – easy to learn). I have continued to work during the entire 10 years, even once the major physical systems had subsided to ensure there would be no future heavy going.
    Brief but intense loss of balance in early November was announcing “roll your sleeves up even higher, there’s more to do” . Not happy! Unable to work, not safe to drive as my central nervous system is so compromised by the process if I try to do too much I am a candidate for epilepsy or a stroke. The physical body after round one and ten years on is struggling at the moment. I was extremely healthy once I recover from round 1 and I will do my best to ensure this is the case for this round.
    My heart is expanding at the present time, so I call on my very dear friend Hawthorn Berry to nourish and assist the heart so it can grow with greater ease.
    Wishing all well with the current round of expansion. It’s not easy growing up.


  • Hello Denise, I am so sorry you had to go through such misery just a few days ago, and upset you even remotely thought of suicide as an alternative. I for one (and obviously there are many of us) who would be devastated without your encouragement and the real-life experiences you share. This is my first comment although I’ve followed you since around 2010 or 11. My primary interest is in astrology and have commented on other blogs about this topic but the thought of speaking about personal experiences made me uncomfortable.

    However I’ve gained much peace of mind (and high heart) from your stories and those of your readers ( I’ve had many of those experiences too!). Just wanted you to know there are those of us you don’t even know by name that love you. Blessings.

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