To The Weary Forerunners

‘…This whole “ascension” process seems to go on and on and with no real changes to speak of, other than I am pretty much alone in every way now.  But still, it’s always “when our crystalline bodies finally emerge” and “holding vibration, transmuting this, anchoring that, battling this” and always “once the solstice hits, after this eclipse” blah, blah, blah.  So what gives?  Today I found this, and although I feel like we have transcended a lot of this, it still feels like we are stuck inside some matrix where we can never escape, never change, never be free, to the point I don’t even know who, what, where I am anymore, what I desire, what to do, etc., etc.  I thought surrender is where it’s at now through this whole process, but surrender to what? Where is the true love? Where is the true change? And now all the “spiritual” sites, newsletters etc., etc are saying “we have arrived! All you need to do now is chose!”  Lol.  Arrived where exactly?  Chose what? All looks and feels the same to me – still more bullshit and nonsense!  See, for me, I don’t buy into just a better 3D – why the hell would we have done all of this just for that? I’m looking for MAGIC! MIRACLES! True reconnection with Source and Source energy and love, remembering of our gifts, and arrival of new gifts, etc., etc.  But I see NONE of that. I feel NONE of that! Anyway, just wondered what your take on all of this was. Of course, I’m still feeling the energies, still battling all the ascension symptoms, still waiting for the day this body finally feels good, when the new arrives, when we’re allowed to move, not being held down, back, blocked anymore. But none of it changes. And maybe we are just stuck in all of this matrix/mirage too. You don’t need to answer me directly, but it might be nice if you feel lead to touch on it in a future post, because I know I am not alone in this.

Thank you and blessings! ~ Anthony Blanton’

embossed diamonds

‘Hi Denise,

I know this job is demanding so i will make it brief.

I feel somewhat silly for asking for your perspective on this due to being an awakened star seed and some what of a distributor of knowledge for spirit, but even tho i am knowledgeable in many areas i am perplexed to this situation i find myself in and i would appreciate a perspective from someone of similar state of awareness.

You see, this awakening and anchoring of higher self has removed virtually everything from my old life, all my friends, family, job, mobility, etc etc. I find myself having absolutely nothing to do, as well as no interest in the physical. I am constantly undergoing energetic adjustments and i suspect that this is the reason i am literally doing nothing, to allow this changes to take place. But never the less, i am getting extremely bored? i’m not even sure if i would call it boredom because i am usually quite content. But i have been in this space of nothingness for over a year and i feel like i am going to go insane if i just sit here and do nothing any longer… The only thing is, i don’t know what to do, nothing is of interest and every time i try to organize a new pathway it seems off or like I’m resorting to old patterns.

I have nothing to do and no people in my life, and part of me feels like i shouldn’t fight the situation but the other half feels like this is not a healthy place to be. I considered getting a job just to be around people to help spread more light, but the constant barrage of higher frequencies leaves me with only a few hours of energy to move around, i doubt i could even hold a job… Then i considered finding a partner at a lower frequency just to fill time, but that feels way off!

This may sound like i am depressed, confused, sad, I’m not even sure if i could call this situation that…But i am getting frustrated! It’s just the absence of everything, and it doesn’t seem to end. I am changing rapidly, but that is all.

I don’t need an extensive reply i tend to manage by my own guidance, but i would appreciate a perspective from your point of view, if you have the time to reply!

Thank you,


embossed diamonds

These two recent email letters from Anthony and Josh are like so very many I’ve received over the years. Because of this I asked them if I could quote their letters in this article and attempt to discuss these feelings we’ve all had for so long. Thank You Anthony and Josh for allowing me to share your letters at HighHeartLife. ❤ I know many feel exactly as you both do.


Forerunners of the Forerunners and Forerunners

Do you remember how completely our lives, bodies, world and very reality literally changed overnight when we entered 1998/1999 and were “activated” physically, biologically? Like any of us could forget! Well, we reached another equally monumental activation point recently; some of us over the past few months of 2014, others with the entry into 2015, and more over the weeks and months to come.

I bring the Galactic Alignment up at this near completion point within it because many of the Forerunners, Wayshowers, the First to Embody and Anchor the NEW Light Energies on Earth and all the rest of it into themselves body and soul, need to remember this timeline and how we’re now fully into Phase Two of it. This means many of us are discovering how radically different it is from what we’ve been doing/being/living/transmuting etc. during Phase One. Many years ago I said in multiple articles at TRANSITIONS that Phase One, as horrendous, dark and difficult as it was, was really all about the necessary prep work so that we even could survive and embody Phase Two! My point is that many of us are—myself included—discovering that the focus, work and energies have changed (like we didn’t know that was coming! 🙄 ) and we’re having some spiritual and energetic “newbie” difficulties figuring out how to now be, function and exist from this higher level of energy, being, consciousness and responsibility. In other words, old habits die hard even when one Volunteered to come into a dimension, density and planet to help remove those negative old habits!

The moment the Sun entered Capricorn—the winter Solstice on December 21, 2014—I did what I always do at all Solstices and Equinoxes; I intentionally go into a receptive Higher Awareness state to perceive and receive the incoming energies in as conscious a way as I’m able in that moment. What I perceived and received on 12-21-14 was radically different from every earlier Solstice and Equinox I’ve experienced over the past 24 years. That in itself was one very huge message.

What I perceived and received in that timeless quantum Spherical Consciousness winter Solstice moment, was only one Angelic Lightbeing smiling that semi-smile they do so beautifully at me while it instantaneously transmitted (not telepathed because telepathy is too slow and linear at these higher levels with these evolved beings), and I quote as best as I’m able, ‘It’s okay.’ That was the message in word form. In larger, higher form is was a massive communiqué that covered vast spaces, levels, emotions, multidimensional work and being and it’s all communicated, exchanged in an instant, in a light-filled Angelic semi-smile. Such are many of our 5D and higher chats between old friends, co-workers and other aspects of Self now.

In that quantum moment when that Angelic Lightbeing told me that ‘It’s okay,’ I knew the message also contained the fact that the worst is over and we Forerunners of the Forerunners and Forerunners have fully entered Phase Two and are having to learn as quickly and gracefully as we can, how to be Sovereign and fully consciously aware of the fact that we are solely responsible now for ourselves and our personal realities, body, energies and so on.

One of those huge global old habits that die hard was that everyone in the old lower world of Duality and negativity was energetically parasitic; one fed off of others to survive themselves and I’m talking about living humans and not just the nonhuman, nonphysical Team Dark beings/entities. That was the terrible norm for the old lower world and Evolutionary Cycle that expired 12-21-12. Not so any longer however, and we Forerunners need to lift our weary heads and eyes up from the lengthy unpleasant labors of Phase One and realize that we not only have arrived at the Phase One finish line but have crossed that bridge and are now well into Phase Two. Needless to say, Phase Two exists on a vastly higher rung of the NEW spiral which means there’s a new curriculum, a new focus, new responsibilities, new abilities and plenty of new Conscious Creating to be done by the Forerunners.

Beginning Stages of Becoming Increasingly Sovereign

Let me first explain what I mean by this word in the ways I’m using it in this case. By sovereign I mean evolving out of parasitic duality energy and consciousness and life/reality, into 5D and higher unity or HighHeart, God or Divine Source empowered and operated, self-contained existence. Just each of us consciously and directly embodying Divine Source energies. No stealing God juice from others to keep oneself going in any way. Now in Phase Two we Forerunners are in the early stages of re-learning how to be energetically Sovereign and Conscious Creators within physicality. When you read that sentence it sounds so pretty, so “fluffy” almost, so easy, warm and fuzzy. However, as we’re quickly learning, it’s another story when one is on one’s own fumbling around trying to get the hang of how to actually Consciously Create for oneself on a minute to minute, hour to hour, day-to-day scale and not take/steal/pilfer/parasite energy from any another being human or otherwise, or let them do it to you.

Being a fifth dimensional ascending being in physical human form means we’re now learning how to be conservative with our daily amount of God juice, only because that little daily 1/8th of a tank of God juice fuel is all we can embody and handle at this point! Six months from now it’ll be a different story and we might be up to a 1/4 of a tank per day, and next year an even greater amount than that. Stair-steps as usual, especially when reentering “heaven” or Home while in a physical Earth body despite all the years or decades of personal Inner prep Work. I know we all want to just fly Home, just dive in, just get naked and rumble around with God and the Angels and Co. again but this too takes “time” to get there step by step so we don’t damage or destroy the physical body vehicle (or anything else) in the stunningly amazing Process. But, the great news is that it’s happening. The hard part about that fact is that we haven’t got it all figured out yet so we look and feel kinda awkward and silly. But, the Angels and everyone else are SO pleased with us and the jobs we’ve done and are still doing and we need to not forget this fact. Look up oh exhausted, disheartened, discouraged fellow Forerunner and take note of the fact that you’ve crossed the Phase One finish line and are existing within Phase Two now. Bravo and well done and Thank You for your unique and invaluable Divine Service. ❤ Put down your old tools and pick up your NEW ones for this NEW phase.

Another old habit that’s dying hard is the one that has to do with our re-teaching ourselves first— then humanity—is that the Divine, the “power” etc. resides within not without. Team Dark did a great job convincing humanity that was not the case but that time and horrible disabling, dis-empowering, spiritually stunting lie is finally over too. We came from that state and we’ve recently reentered it and are having some “newbie” adjustment difficulties re-turning our gaze and focus, our expectations, our search for higher help, knowledge and guidance etc. back within ourselves instead of habitually aimed externally toward Angles, ETs, Lightbeings, Guides, God/Source etc. I AM the I AM that I AM remember? Phase Two is an important grow-up phase where we shift or evolve, ascend back into direct conscious interaction with and embodiment of that which humanity has been told for eons exists far away and wholly outside of themselves. Phase Two of the Ascension Process, which we’ve entered, has to do with we Forerunners taking full conscious responsibility for our lives, our happiness, our personal abundance, our ongoing spiritual educations, and embodying greater love and light and so on. That’s what’s on the table of Phase Two for us Forerunners now, and just like we did Phase One, we’ll do Phase Two too but we’ll do it oh so much faster and easier. It really is ‘okay’.

As Anthony and Josh both said above, and as most of us have felt for a very long time, when does this pain, suffering and isolation end anyway? It has even though it doesn’t always look or even feel like it. I know how contradictory that sounds but this situation is tricky until you “wake up” a bit more and realize that it’s now up to you and me individually to take full responsibility and conscious awareness of what you/me/we are thinking, feeling, doing and/or not doing and why. “Waking up” is ongoing for every being everywhere.

I’m not real happy with where I and my life are now but I’m aware enough to realize that it’s part of a process of change, also of my continued “waking up” to some more things and learning how to move through them with as much grace as I can at this time. In our own ways we Forerunners are all going through this now so that we’ll see and understand whatever it is each of us needs to now so we don’t carry it any further into the future with us. I’ve had Angelic Lightbeings tell me the same thing about themselves. Yeah, puts a different spin on it all doesn’t it? Wow…

Team Dark—in whatever form of them that’s still left in this ascending Earth world—is going to lie and hustle and con and do anything and everything they can to convince the human masses (and that includes you Forerunners/Wayshowers) that nothing has changed, nothing has, is or will improve because they are still in control over Earth and humanity and always will be blah, blah, blah. This is their last pathetic trick and don’t you fall for it! Walk away, turn you back, avert your eyes, do not listen, do not become emotionally manipulated by their stunts. Do whatever you need to get yourself back up into your individual empowerment, wisdom, Higher Awareness, higher abilities and Sovereignty once again and ignore the lies and attempts by The Powers That WERE (TPTW) but are no longer, to convince you and everyone else that nothing has really changed. It has and continues to and will and they know it, BUT, they also know that if they yell loud and long enough they’ll hook the consciousness and focus of many humans and then they just have those humans energetically, emotionally and physically feed and fuel whatever external reality they want to continue on Earth. The Forerunners are the antidote to this stunt too of course, plus it’s helping us Master how to be more responsible for ourselves and our individual lives and reality, be more self-reliant, be self-empowered, sovereign and consciously create what WE want now.

Like Anthony asked, ‘Choose what?’ Choose to be empowered, more aware, to Consciously Create, be in control of your own life and reality, be a living embodiment and example of the NEW empowered Sovereign 5D human for the rest of humanity. That’s where we’re at now and the sooner we realize it’s up to us individually to pick up these NEW tools for greater self-empowerment, greater personal responsibility, our own personal joy, happiness, security and all the rest of it, the sooner we’ll be Consciously Creating what we want and need in our own lives. It’s up to us, individually. When enough individuals reach this point (and we are very quickly now), then there’s suddenly NEW Groups of us globally which will make this Shift unfold even faster. ❤

“Light is information; Love is creation.” Quote of a Pleiadian message channeled by Barbara Marciniak

I’d intended to get this article done closer to the start of January, but old lower world life and systems has derailed me left and right. I take full responsibility for this and have learned a lot from it. It’s sometimes hard to remember that I have, that you have, that we have a vastly greater Divine power and ability to Consciously Create over these old lower collapsing systems and people. We just need to remember this fact and do it now.

Denise Le Fay

January 13, 2015

Copyright © Denise Le Fay & HighHeartLife, 2015. All Rights Reserved.


49 thoughts on “To The Weary Forerunners

  • welp, all I can say is …nothing lasts…all is in flux…wash the dishes to be washing the dishes..go out in nature..don’t forget to exhale..the next breath will come..row row row your boat GENTLY down the stream..merrily merrily merrily…LIFE IS BUT A DREAM.
    I am all of you..your experiences and pain…but for now being alone is my power need..and thanks for sharing..sometimes just putting the words down and reading them..well, you gain insight ..and clearly..none of us are as “alone” as we think we are..I am now going outside to exhale and take in the wonder of it all and see if my koi in the pond are still managing to float about in the cold..lucky fishes have a heater :)..see ,there are still some things “to do”..keep it simple…take care of your “fishies” brightly..all ya’ll.

  • While I have not read all the comments I have read the article and a lot of the comments.
    I have a couple of things to add……You (we) are in Isolated Unity……..Those closest to the fire (light) get burned (struggle)……..let these words sink in and remember we are not alone although at times it feels like it. This is not an easy road we travel but we are feeling these feelings because we are waking up which is an absolutely amazing, wonderful thing to happen. Keep moving forward with love, compassion and patience for all, for our selves and especially for those who are not at this point yet for we are here to help them along.

  • My blessings & gratitude to all of you!!! Is there any way that we can be more interactive & supportive of each other–to be more of a community?

  • Last week was suddenly so challenging for me (body reactions) that I felt stuck and asked my daughter for help. Never felt before, I stated to her I wanted to drop out and go home, whereever that is, because I hadn’t any (physically living in a comfy apartment).
    My daughter sat down at my bed and brought me to the Pleiades. She got the message of ‘DNA-attachments’ as I fell asleep (and felt very much better next day, able to proceed again).

    Yes and the next step is proceeding all by my Self…

  • Like I said, two VERY different points of view being shared in Comments on this topic. That in itself should be a huge clue and insight for some… but it isn’t yet, if ever.

    Another thing I’m going to mention is why I’ve not published certain Comments that contained info or links or personal reviews about external products (anything from vitamins to special water etc. etc.) that are claimed to help make one feel better physically. In this article I went on and on about this very thing and how it’s being highlighted even more so in 2015, but so many just don’t yet understand that the solution, the fix-it, the “remedy”, the happiness, the savior or whatever it is needs NOW to start coming from within YOU — not continued old lower consciousness world dis-empowerment methods that you pay someone or something else to supposedly fix you.

    This choice is the Ascension Process evolution many here are talking about; not sticking with old lower world methods and systems. That includes YOUR personal old lower frequency favorites too. I’ve gone through this and I know how hard it is to re-train ourselves out of dis-empowering old negative methods and beliefs etc., into re-learning how to take responsibility and self-empowerment on these NEW higher levels of being and consciousness. But that’s exactly what we’re all having to learn now and the sooner the better and easier it all will be for each of us individually.

  • My only frustration is living with people who don’t understand or want to understand what we have to embody/ live. Snide comments – Get with the program – Why can’t you be like so & so.. Makes me laugh now 🙂 My choice is to stay as neutral as possible. It can be hard when your nerves are electrified & the non- sense shows up ❤ Keeping your fuel reserves up is essential if you know you will be doing errands , meeting with difficult people , etc. This time reminds me of the 70's during the gas rations.. People actually siphoned gas from your tank… Most all of US know what to do NOW. If you are like me I had no map when I first became "aware" at 4 yrs old. Those skills are never lost.. We can DO this ❤ Travel well my friends

  • Wow! What conformation we are becoming a collective consciousness. There are many of us forerunners feeling the exact same emotions. Profound relationships ending abruptly, change in careers, physical symptoms draining our energy. I keep hearing from the higher realms… “Surrender”. How I interpret that is utilize the down time to read, meditate, and have faith that you are exactly where you are supposed to be. You will attract like frequency. I suggest to everyone to read “Anna, grandmother of Jesus”. It is an activation book and has been profound for me. Have faith it will be unfolding!!!!!!!

    • That is all we need really to know we are not alone or going round the bend! I have found myself doing jig -saw puzzles for the first time in about 40 years. I think it is all about the reward of patience is pactience as my runes keep telling me.

  • Denise you’ve done it again! Amazing..brilliant. At the start i actually thought i must have written those emails to you myself…not Anthony and Josh! How comforted was I ? ! And how i laughed (with compassion and understanding).

    I would love to have contact with people like them for mutual support

    Love you Denise..

    CATE x

  • First, thank you Denise for your continued honest service. I have experienced some type of ascension / kundalini energies since my first rather mild introduction in 1981. The real humdinger was in 1994, after I finally surrendered a 22 year agonizing separation from my twinflame. A two-month blast of energy left me living in an entirely new universe–one where my twinflame was no longer the only female with whom I knew I had a very special connection. Someone else appeared in a dream, followed by magic, powerful energies, total inner transformation. But then the energies faded and I incorporated the new more free and happier me into normal life. Again in 1999, another female / kundalini experience, this time milder but definitely very important to me once again. Then the energies subsided until another brief female encounter, this time locally, which proved torturous and I was glad when it was over. No further energy manifestation in my life until just this past late November, when same thing, another female swept in on a new tide of kundalini energy. This time I experienced such high voltage pure Love and pure Peace, and a new experience I cannot describe other than ‘divine mind’ or ‘perfect mnd’. You just didn’t want it to stop, even though you pictured yourself laying on the couch in ecstacies the rest of your life.
    Perhaps it was divine timing, I just retired from fulltime work in October 2014, then the new wave hit in late November. No way I could do much of anything under full energy inflow. But now I have returned mostly to normal, other than a never-ending kind of pilot light level of energy, always feel it burning just moderately, and in fact am just completing my planned 3 short days per month of back to work.
    I understand and empathize with the ‘complaints’ in the two posts, because I have been there, done it. I continued my employment during my greatest of all blasts in 1994, crazy things happened in the work environment, it was a crazy circus, for sure. Somehow I managed to keep my job. Just.
    My point would be that for some reason, I personally do not get blasted harshly with energies. Knock on cosmic wood, yes. But my experiences come in seemingly random timing, always with further healing of my longstanding lost twinflame loss, but then back to integrating the new things into normal life again.
    Retirement offers its own kind of boredom, to be sure. The energies are rather mild now for me, yet I share the lack of interest in most things reported here. I am a Canadian, and have had a lifelong love for one sport only, ice hockey, and normally am wrapped up in it, competing with old friends in hockey pools etc. But since the late-November energy revisit, I have lost most interest even in hockey. That says a lot! Also, I have noticed with my withdrawal of interest, my two hockey pool teams have withered out of contention. Law of Attraction at work?
    My biggest concern now is not so much surviving difficult energy inflows, but like others, where is the payoff? I have been transformed into having unconditional love for each of the females brought into my consciousness via kundalini inflows, and it is the innner experience of having someone(s) to love like that is my rescue and salvation from longstanding twinflame heartbreak and depression.
    But I have to wonder, what does Source have in mind for me and any of these females? I have had incredible wonderful dream experiences with them in different ways, different times, but I have to wonder…will I ever meet them in 5D scenario? What is going on with them in other realms, because I seem to be undergoing some sort of slow changes in the “relationship” with at least one of them, at the dream level.
    Just reporting my unique experience with all this. It was only this past November that I discovered these intense kundalini energies were affecting so many others. That there was a global, universal context. I previously simply thought Source was sporadically addressing my longstanding twinflame problem.
    Again, thank you Denise, you have been a wise guide for me, an experienced ascension energy pilot, but a newbie space cadet at the larger universal picture.

  • Hi Denise,

    Thank you for giving a voice to the feelings and experience of all of us Lightworkers! I too was in a stuck place, feeling all the emotions and frustrations of Josh and Anthony…and so many others. For me…I came to realize that this was a step on the path…and by becoming aware of it, I had stepped up and past it. I too have known for some time that all we seek lies within us, which is why I haven’t read any spiritual books in a long time, and stopped reading so many blogs from channels and so forth. But, you brought awareness to me about the bigger picture…and the realizations I made take on a bigger scope.

    For every single one of you out there who is “waiting”, wait no longer! Make the changes you want for yourself. Anthony, if you want “magic”, be the magic. I commiserated with his post so much, because for all of my life, I’ve sought that supernatural experience…to see auras, to channel spiritual beings, to manifest my life exactly as I want it, etc. Recently I heard an amazing message from Matt Kahn (True Divine Nature), and I paraphrase…“for those of you who are waiting to experience the supernatural that the younger people seem to be experiencing….you have already ascended in a past life. You are here to anchor in the new energy.” Now, this completely goes along with a message I received from Metatron – that I am a Way Shower. We aren’t meant to experience those things…we’ve been there/done that. We are so much farther ahead… but yes, it is frustrating!! We hear of others who are able to do/see/be..and we think…”but why not me? I’ve done all the work, I’ve experienced all the symptoms, I’ve lived through the Dark Night of the Soul…”. I’m still working through stuff…and I probably always will, because that is the human condition. In my own personal life, I’m making important decisions and taking steps to change old patterns and ways of being, that I hope will bring a lot of hope and happiness to my near future…but for now, gives me a lot of anger and stress and grief. I know I have support of my angelic team, and they are there for me when I need it, but I now know, that I can do it. I’ve gotten pretty good at manifesting what I want…and know that the life I dream of, I will have eventually. I realize I’ve been “channeling” my angels and guides all of my life….I’m just not public about it. 🙂

    I have a strong sense that God/Divine Source/Creator…is waiting. God is waiting to see what we will do with our new wings….a lot of us don’t even realize we are wearing them already.


  • Thanks for the Update Dearest Denise!

    This is really loong and more like one of my articles. So much is going on, I havent written here is so long, so kind of trying to catch up! But I relate so much to whats being felt here and feel what I have to say on this subject, is worth sharing and also wondering if you and/or how many other’s here at High Hearts have any insights, input for me? But if you feel its inappropriately long and/or redundant I totally understand if you skip posting it and/or choose to edit it? I certainly don’t want to take all this space here if you feel its in some way innaproriate? : /

    Anyway…At this point what I first want to say is…WHEW!…And…When do we get a F+#*@_+“~#*^ Break?!!!! Can I take a nap till 2017?? No? Didn’t think so!!

    I’ve also been pondering this situation lately and thinking WTF??? Every year that goes by I think the same thing…”Oh no! Is this going to be another year of the same???” GEEEZE! I mean really!!! Talk about doing Nothing??? I truly thought I did nothing (that is, in the 3D world) better than anybody else? But I see that I have some stiff competiton here!

    A Social Life?? HA! I can barely deal with being around family for too many hours!
    Get a Job??? HA, HA again! How often am I able to leave leave my apartment, or even get out of bed these days??? But the Truth and Reality of this is: No matter where I am, what I’m doing I’m working 24/7. Because I’m holding space and/or intergrating (for family, almost everyone I come in contact with) healing, caring for them, communicating on the phone with those who aren’t coping very well with this insane world and don’t understand the magnitude of whats going on, that it not just happening to them. Then there’s the other 3D responsibilites, running a household, doing best to accodate my husband’s needs, raising a teenager (my grandaughter who lives with me) and all that goes with it! Doing my best to conserve whatever energy, time alone that I can find each day, in between these responsibilities; to honor my responsibiliy towards myself; my spiritual work, daily practices, meditation; to shield/protect myself, do a session if needed, guided, take care to support nourish my physical body enough, etc! So that I can survive this ascension process and dense-ness of this 3 D ilife, in a way that I’m still capabe to continue doing this work (be of service to others and the Law of One) in the way it was intended and at at my highest capacity. Which includes, recieving constand downloads, writing them, finding time to do senergy work, intuitive creative work, etc…I’m finding that I’m needing to constantly update, adjust, re-establish my work/practice as all these changes occur in the ascension process…and I constantly go through my own personal transformation/s changes in my own personal ascension process. Then re-establish my website to keep up and be in congreunce with these changes as well!!

    When I am able to drag my sorry ass out of my home and “into the fields”, to go care for my mom, grocery shop, bank, homeopath visit, and to ocassionaly force myself to go to a movie, dinner (to accomadate my partner’s needs, wishes) I know that I’m going into an Energetic War Zone! Sometimes my body takes hrs to days to recouperate (if I’m exposed to too many disonant energies at once and/or I’m intergrating someone, something or someplace I picked up “out there”.

    So…though I/we may “appear” to be doing nothing, from a 3 D perspective of others (and /or even from my own perspective sometimes) is in fact Full Time work! Just that no one who’s living in a 3 D existence, lifestyle can recognize or possibly understand this work…or even knows it exists! Because they do not experience it! Only we get to do it! However, fortunately they will benefit from our work! And fortunately we choose to keep doing it! It’s just unfortunate that we suffer so much in order to do the work in the way it needs to be done…also in order that we accomplish what we came here to do!

    Therefore…in spite of all of the above ranting about how miserable this can be at times its also a most Beautiful experience, process and privilige to be able to be a part of ths work and healing of this world! And I personally wouldn’t have it any other way! In fact if I wasn’t doing this/my work I wouldn’t even have much purpose or desire to be here.

    If all of the above resonates with some or all you (in some way/s, on some level/s??) then please KNOW…”YOU REALLY ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS”! And I know I’m not alone in this either. And in any case, I Know that you, Dear Denise, who is so very giving, dedicated and strong, must experience All of it and even MORE than I and than most of us here do!!! So, you’re an inspiration as well as a huge support! Thank you for being here in this world with us, for sharing yourself so generously! I also relate deeply with all you went through this past year. As we’ve have had similar events happen, were faced with, dealt with similar situations, challenges in each our lives. Especially concerning our caring for, being advocates for our aging mom’s, dealing with their health issues, needing to deal with and protecting them from the dangers of the medical system, make sure they didn’t fall through the cracks. It’s extremely overwhelming being in this position of having to deal with the hospital environment, monitor doctors, nurses, medications being given, etc the care/non-care, on a daily basis. This responsibility alone is in and of itself a HUGE challenge and full time job! And I know that you are still in the midst of it, as your mom was in more serious condition than mine. So my heart goes out to you. I want you to know how appreciative and grateful I am for the work that you do… And for the level and in the ways which you choose to do it!

    I’m not sure about exactly what you (Denise) and everyone here have been experiencing on a physical level? However, for me personally, this is where, how I get hardest hit! It’s pretty much been brutal with cyles of physical torture of one sort or another for about 12 yrs now ! – I’m Indigo 1st wave, born 3-22,1952, Aries Picies cusp…A 22 destiny #, a 33 Life Path#, and obviously my DNA is such that i’m doing most of this work through the physical body, experience? I’m not very knowledable about these aspects (biology of star seeds, astrology, numerology, galactic history, cosmic science, etc, etc). I’m just your regular Intuitive/Empath, EXTREMELY Earth Sensitive, Polarity Integrator, Energetic Harmonizer, Grid Worker Healing Facilitator, and Intuitive Creative Artist (spiritually aware scince early childhood but no clue or information what I’d been realy doing all my life until 40’s) So there you have it! Basically my physical body has its built in torture chamber! I experience the most Bazaar symptoms, spasms, pain cycles of which can last anywhere from hrs./days to months at a time. When I’m being downloaded with information Ialso experience insomnia, intense bursts of energy, then exhaustion, making even more difficult to function in 3D. Get A Job??? HA!!!!

    All these various physical responses have in the past sent me into health axiety, er many times and thinking I was experiencing everything from a heart attacks, cancer, to MS! But I also do not/nor will I take any drugs and painkillers at all! (not even over counter medications like Tylenol). My body also just cannot tolerate any chemicals, drug either. (I’ve had some really awful experiences when I was young with vaccines, medicines)and

    Anyway…These cyles of pain, symptoms my body goes throughhas really been acting out on and off since October maybe? However, since Dec its been brutal at times. I’ve not experienced this level of intensity is a long time! Wondering if and/or how many of you here are feeling these intense physical effects as of late?

    Seems for me that my body can be triggered suddenly into painbody or symptoms cycle . Or it can build up gradually from mild to intense, on and off or steadily, slowly?? Soemtimes I suppose its just due to the many usual aspects of the ascension process. however at other times it has to do with other aspects pertaining to the type of work I/we do as individuals and our particular mission. Often it can be very difficult to disecrn. And of course we also have the NAA attacks. which can definately affect us physically too! So thses challenges come at us from all directions and sometimes all at once!

    Wondering if anyone else here has some insights, input to add concerning their own physical ascesion related experiences??

    In any case here’s what I’ve come up with in trying to figure some of the sources, causes, ways, and intensity for/of these physical cycles, symptoms from my own personal experiences with, through them,

    Examples of some causes/sources
    My being exposed to:

    Dissonant energy/s either being held by/in me, coming through and/or at me from: human or non human beings, place, thing/objects-

    The integration/harmonizing of energies whether for my own ascension (whether i’m aware or unaware I’m doing so)

    Any kind of planetary and/or Atmospheric activity, shifts, re-configurations, solar storms, etc etc, and according to the intensity of the event…This including erratic weather and season changes. W-I actually smell static electricity very strongly. (this happened many times over the for years, even in the summer…couldn’t figure it? (Duh me)…

    The usual Ascension symptoms.


    Personal sensitivity towards specific foods, at particular times, chemicals in environment, air, and viruses (sources are endless, but certialy through Alien Technology so therefore one can be targeted and attacked in this way no?)

    Moods, Emotions, of irritability, stress, anger, fear, worry, hate, envy, etc etc that others around me might be feeling. Which I’m absorbing, or intergrating, transmuting, clearing. And/or they are being manipulated by Dark Team and spewing at and towards me. (Whether known or unknown by me)

    I’m sure theree’s more to the list but in any case, I find that…”Just when I think it safe to go out WHAM! Another, hit form somewhere, someone, or out of control planet?…And then Im once again knocked down for the count for God knows how long this time!!

    I actually smell static electricity very now and then for years, even in the summer…couldn’t figure it? (Duh me)…

    Also, again…The intensity,I’ll experience during a particular cycle/s, symptom/s, pain/s etc seem to be determined by: The level of dissonance/non-resonant energies I’m exposed to –
    And…My own condition, mood, level of strength, stability, etc (on all levels of my being) at that particular time while and after I’m exposed. This determines how well I’m able to hold up, defend myself, intergrate, transmute and then clear and release, recover. (Only to begin again the next time I get hit, of course!)

    Thank you again, Denise with all my Heart and Soul! I hope you are hanging in there and Feeling better. Sending Big Healing Hugs to you! OOOXX

    With Deepest Gratitude & Love

    • Hello, sandra and Denise and everyone,

      First, sandra, we have the same birthdate, mine roughly 10 years after you, so I’m not surprised that I related to your message. I’m also an extreme empath and am sensitive to locations and animals and only kind of figured that out when I was in my thirties! I also take things in around me and transmute them– I guess that’s what we empaths do. I live alone, so I don’t have the daily demands that you do, but I often find that lately, if I go out for one or two days that I will be at home recuperating for almost as long. And talk about sleeping– I can’t seem to get out of bed for very long these days. But, like you said, I know that I’m working 24/7– only some of which I’m aware of– and that takes its toll. Since around mid-December, though (probably the solstice), I’ve noticed that things are lighter and I’m having a lot less pain than I had before. And I know that I’m doing a lot of work with the land and people all over the world and with animals closer to home. I’ve also had the ongoing struggles with the medical system for my own health (I so miss living in Asia on that account where they are much more enlightened about the body and much more practical about curing or fixing things rather than just have you come back again and again).

      Like you, I’ve noticed an increase in attacks once again (I thought those were over with!) and I’ve become incredibly sensitive to EMFs and find it difficult to spend too much time at my computer without my chest seizing up a little. I could feel the energy clearly from the comments in the comment section this time, so that’s increased immensely. Wow, it becomes difficult to hide who you are as this process progresses. I’ve become extremely sensitive to chemicals the last few years and get very ill from them, even perfume. And, of course, the weather affects me intensely as does the sun.

      And more generally, I’d like to add to the chorus of thanks to Denise for reopening comments at such a difficult time in her life. And to those that are writing Denise and not being published, I would like to suggest that those who do not find resonance with the blog posts on HighHeartLife might feel more comfortable at Transitions. Read enough so that you understand what is going on here and find what you resonate with or move on to something that suits you more closely. The internet is an unlimited place for that. Unsolicited advice is moot at this point and Denise has far too much to deal with. We all need to find our own way through this, as Denise so clearly said, so let her and let us do the work we need to do as you do the work you need to. And Denise is not your job. You are.

      Love and hugs to all,

      • Hi Cat,
        Thanks for responding. That’s pretty amazing we gave same b date!! All you’ve expressed here is almost identical to my experiences. And when I read how you described how your chest freezes up when siting in front of the computer that really hit home! As I was just talking to my daughter this morning about how I feel my working on the computer is exasperating if not triggering a lot of that type pain I experience. As It always seems to happen while and after I’ve been doing a lot of writing typing. I tried all different positions too and ver comfortable when propped up however it still effects me so I’m now more sure about it being the exposure to the computer itself.

        Anyway thank you again and I ditto you on all your comments as well! We have to do the work and stop looking for salvation through any source outside of us. We do have support and we do have assistance. We just need to learn how to recognize it when it’s there, and make the most of what our guides and our star families are able to offer us in this dense-ness. It’s not as simple for them either. They do what they can do, how they can do it and also in accordance to what we can handle and understand and process and use with the individual abilities we have and level of ascension we ourselves are at.
        We have do do our part. This is what we’re here for. We can bitch, moan get tired and disgusted with it all sometimes and it’s certainly ok to express it sometimes. But in the big picture we got yo get our big girl/boy pants back on at some point and get on with it. Otherwise we’ll just feed TD!!

        I feel Heartfelt Gratitude & Love for all of us who are doing this very difficult work!

  • Since the solstice on the 21st Decamber I really felt the difference. Nothing I could put my finger on just not the same me. Since the New Year I feel I have gone blank, a usually busy person that just sits around and does a jig-saw puzzle! But at the same time there is an air of expectancy which is electric, a waiting for the well to fill when we will all finally sail down the river to where we chose to be before we were born and do our jobs.

  • It’s wonderful to see such articulate and honest comments (and no new-agey “love and light” or “namaste”!!!). I can very much relate to the “exhaustion/frustration/isolation/what’s-the-point-of-all of this hell we’ve been through” feeling but am also grateful to be sensing the shift into the somewhat easier/more rapid Phase 2 Denise mentioned.

  • Thank you all, as always! It is OK to express the frustrations, for sure! “Drink more Ovaltine!”
    Like others have expressed, this is truly lonely. I cannot begin to explain to anyone. I have always felt different from others & this is so hard to express in words. A lot of time, I feel like I’m just playing along in one scenario or another just so I don’t have to explain what I cannot. At the same time, I avoid being involved in it (society) because I can’t. But that is nothing new for me. Today is not a very good word day for me. My apologies if this seems vague. If I didn’t have my partner, I think I would be a complete loner/recluse. Even with him, I cannot make him understand. He is open minded and pretty near where I am but team dark really messed with both of us in the past half decade.

  • Thank you Anthony & Josh for your letters and Denise for publishing and commenting on this! It is indeed SO similar to what I feel at the moment. I have been staying positive all these years (most of the time), having the level of conscious and information to understand most of the changes I went through like the loss of friends, struggles with parents, loss of money and home, physical pains and loneliness. But all this in expectation of a future life to come which would have me being energetic, filled with joy, love and purpose. Being free from tensions and fears to finally live and enjoy life at the fullest. Shining light and being an inspiration to people. These are my deep longings inside which are the longings of my soul.

    But how can I be a joyful light and create my life according to what makes me happy if I can’t even get out of the house due to my physical condition and crazy head. I can’t even drive to the beach or woods and listen to music which I love so much due to my ringing ears and overstimulated head. It is almost impossible to understand that this will get better and change during this year, but it somehow must. I know our body can handle it and we have the patience, but I do feel it’s running out now and frustration is growing. Which probably is a sign that it will change for the better soon, as I’m sure it’s not our purpose to fall down before the finishline…..

    Also as is said before, the ascension process is different for every soul, as we are all different, with our own goal and pace, although there are many similarities. I have not been feeling yet any deep love or seeing light, visions and angelic beings. To be honest I’m not really longing to see or hear angels. It’s enough to know they’re there. For me this process and the past 8 years have mainly caused pain, isolation etc and a raise in spiritual consciousness, more selflove and empowerment. But I’m still waiting for the big positive experience promised. Sometimes all the talks about galactic centers, vibrations,sunflames, spirits ect dazzle me and go much too deep for me, so I’m selective at reading them. But I’m sure that the information that resonates with me, is good for my level of conscious and spiritual understanding.

    Anyway to end my comment, there’s really no other option then to stay positive and patient and believe that the hardest part of this Ascension process for us will be over by the end of March (read also Jennifer Hoffman) and more fully in 2016.
    I want to live again, travel the world, go to the opera and musea, meet with friends, have my own home with a garden and a cat , experience living in another country, find my soulmate in love and have a fulfilling counselling job to help other people looking for purpose and start listening to their soul. Let my intentions be fulfilled 🙂
    Amen 🙂

    Love to all you weary beings out there,


  • Hey Denise 🙂

    Thought I would stop by here!! 😉

    A great and insightful piece of info for the ‘now’ 👍

    As you know, I’m lost like many, and deeply exhausted…… For the most part I feel like a boat just floating on the ocean, just going where the current takes me……

    Now, where’s that Caterham sports car I ‘need’ for some ‘proper’ fun?!…….

    Love & hugs,

    Stubeing xxxx

    • Hi Stubeing,

      If you see another sailing boat with a broken mast floating by, that’s me clinging to it in just another storm 🙂 I also feel like drifting on rough waters for years now and feeling the stormy waters literally in my body.
      Want to share two of many quotes that touched me in the recent years, which always keep ringing in my head and might also give you and others some recognition.

      “One doesn’t discover new lands without consenting to loosing sight of the shore for a very long time” ( André Gide)

      “I have to learn to surf the waves. I have to let me be carried by the water and go where the water takes me. All I can do, is try and stay on top of the waves, I have no control over the depth of the sea and the force of the wind” (Isabel Allende)

      Keep calm and stay positive, we will break new ground soon!


  • I can relate to both these letters and many of the comments. Yesterday I felt exhausted and a thought that’s been coming up for me quite a lot lately was really strong – that is – maybe I’ve been deluding myself – maybe this whole ascension process is a load of BS – maybe there’s no such thing and I just chronic fatigue and a bad case of miseries etc. etc. In other words I felt dreadful. I came online and did some reading to see if anyone else out there was feeling the same way right now. I found several articles on ascension related sites that talked about the current wave of energies. Many others are finding this an unsettling time. 2015 started off strong then somewhere around Jan 4 the energy got really intense and hard to deal with.
    I felt a bit less alone when I read these articles then I found one that offered that old refrain – drink more water, get out in nature. I procrastinated for a while – oh no not again – I thought but I felt so awful I decided to do both.
    I drank some water then gathered up some crystals and drove my car out to an isolated beach. Once I got to the beach my energy levels changed. I sat with my crystals and did a brief grounding meditation then I went for a long walk. The wind blowing in my hair made me feel a lot clearer and my energy levels increased. After a while I did some energy work with my crystals and meditated some more.
    By the time I got back to my car I felt more in tune with the higher energies coming in now and more able to bring them into my being in a positive and creative way. I think this is what is meant by the idea of choosing at this time. It’s a matter of making a conscious choice to embrace the new energies and clear out the remnants of old energies, thought forms and lingering 3D patterns of behaviour that keep us stuck in negative feelings.
    It’s true I did all this stuff on my own but my sense of being isolated and alone diminished as I tuned into the new reality of unity consciousness.

    • ‘…By the time I got back to my car I felt more in tune with the higher energies coming in now and more able to bring them into my being in a positive and creative way. I think this is what is meant by the idea of choosing at this time. It’s a matter of making a conscious choice to embrace the new energies and clear out the remnants of old energies, thought forms and lingering 3D patterns of behaviour that keep us stuck in negative feelings. It’s true I did all this stuff on my own but my sense of being isolated and alone diminished as I tuned into the new reality of unity consciousness.’

      Suzanne & All,

      That is exactly what I’m talking about in this (and other) articles about how it’s now grow up time and how we MUST take full responsibility for ourselves in all ways AND about how these things are leading us into becoming Sovereign, self-contained, self-sustained individuals. In every minute of every day and night whenever needed we MUST now consciously “choose” to either take responsibility for ourselves, our lives and reality, how we feel etc., or continue with the old lower consciousness and ways of dis-empowerment. There are both of these ways being shown by different people and their Comments for this article, which is both good because it helps some people see more, but also mildly frustrating to me and some others who have already figured this one out and are working on making that transition. This is the theme of 2015 and beyond for all so the sooner we each realize that it’s now up to us and not some external anyone or anything, the sooner some of this pain and frustration goes away. Believe me, I’m deep, deep, deep into this myself and have been since my mom’s bypass and stroke 5-6 months ago. There are times when I don’t think I’ll make it through this and then suddenly it all eases up just enough for me to catch my breath, yet again, and go some more. To me this is like spiritually popping the clutch over and over and I know I’m “not there yet” but this is me struggling through the 900 things that continue to pop up that I have to wade through… when I’d rather be quietly centered in happier, healthier energetic places. I hope everyone gets what I’m trying to express.

      Anyway, old lower ways and consciousness??? OR, NEW higher ways and consciousness??? That’s the choice and the cosmic clock is counting down faster and faster each year, each month now. To continue carrying (embodying) the old lower energies and consciousness is only and will only get increasingly painful, difficult, limiting and miserable in these NEW much higher frequency energies. Talk about pressure to evolve! 😆

      ❤ Denise

      • Brilliant reply Denise. I love it. You have expressed everything so clearly here.
        I know what you mean about being overwhelmed by responsibilities in the world. My autistic grandson (and his hormonal teenage sister!) continue to test me daily.

        Thanks for interpreting my clumsy attempt to write about the new energies. I really appreciate it. Learning to write about all this is a skill I am only just learning.

        All the best to you and streams of pink light and love.

  • It’s like those two letters completely embodied what I’ve been deeply feeling for the last 48 hours. Bored, weary, sad and have no interest in anything. No idea which direction to go.
    Thank you for the blog, Denise. It helped to lighten my load.

  • Bless you all, weary souls, it’s feeling energetically that the body vessel is getting so intensely “squeezed” or “squozened” or “squished” that I almost cannot physically move a good part of the day, and yet my mind continues to prompt me to “ice-break”, walk, climb the hill outside my house, even when the body is screaming in pain and ache and plain tiredness.

    We are not our bodies. We are not our bodies. We are LIGHT animating an earthsuit that requires severe transmutation now, and for whatever crazy reason, we wanted to experience the upgrade physically while clothed in the biology. This is a nutty idea, but nevertheless it’s apparently happening to group of us. May we never be crazy enough to try it again!!

    We signed on to energetically morph, correct “fallen” DNA that could not hold unconditional love, Light of the Christ, let’s be be real, Christ was crucified on a cross, and we are being crucified too, but over the course of years, rather than 3 days.

    I often wonder what is the POINT of being physicalized if I cannot be physical? My body seems to want to turn into a Tree, quite literally, the years of being athletic, running, hiking, high-energy 3d of the 90s is another life, a ghost. Not My Will, but Thy Will be done.

    Someone mentioned that we are “off-planet” already, thank you for that, I’ve sensed this intensely since Easter of 2012, being “here” but not really “here”, tuning into this obnoxious static-filled frequency of The Collective while my own private “Idaho World” is streaming great jazz, or Aaron Copland, or Carlos Nakai.

    And so we wait, wait for the Miracle, the Joy, the Deliverance. Thank God for you Denise, and all of you here.


    • ‘…and yet my mind continues to prompt me to “ice-break”…’

      daphne/kachina blue star,

      I’m going to remember that term because it’s SO great and correct! Thanks. ❤ Break the density, move the body so as to make more room for the higher energies to stretch out and breath! 😉

      But don't we all know how hard, how near impossible sometimes it actually is to hoist the ass up out of the chair and move, bend, stretch, breath etc. while the pressures continue to make you feel like they're going to crush you. Since I've been running non-stop (I've literally been working 15-16 hour-long days 7 days a week since mom's bypass/stroke) there have been times I though my body was breaking down from that alone. But, it's not just that alone, it's all this NEW piled on top of that and other things. There's a very important point to all this for me… :-/ Point is that we're feeling these pressures so acutely now, along with unbelievably amplified sensitivities and emotions etc. etc., that it’s amazing we’re doing as well as we are. But there ya go, we’re starting to even amaze ourselves. 🙂

      • Dear Denise,

        thank you for mentioning the “crushing” aspect of the energies of late, yes, crushed under the weight of a two-ton anvil is often how I feel,

        That, coupled with being electrocuted from the inside out, and then the ground under my feet feeling like it’s given way, as in liquefaction during an earthquake. I sense it’s not just the earth – suit upgrades we’re enduring here, but Gaia magnetics being re-threaded as well.

        Akhilleus mentioned being forcibly limited, and forcibly kept in one place, I can vouch for that experience big time, thank you Akhilleus,

        I think this ties back in with the ice-breaker energetics, we are being made into biological “jackhammers” to move certain debris out of the way in our particularized locale, breaking up the old 3D cement, as it were. Just speaking of the process here with you both (and all here) serves to bring it to conscious awareness and expression, which serves to move it even faster. Deep *diamond mine/mind extraction* gratitude to you Denise and Akhilleus, and all fellow souls here in ‘the pit’.


  • If I may contribute my 2 cents…

    We need patience, more than we think we have. We need to keep being patient until we see that patience is a non-issue, which means, from the old perspective, that you have infinite patience. We need to know this at all times (higher perspective) while also being thoroughly fed up (personal perspective) with being and doing the same old same old, apparently.

    I know that I am forcibly being kept where I am and forcibly being limited in every way. Personal life will change only when the need arises for one to do something in the physical reality. We are not here to have a life; we are here to help humanity ascend by being ordinarily human. We do this because we can and because we wanted to. Part of the contract involves adapting to changing situations, and nothing on this planet goes exactly as planned. If anyone is truly unable to continue, they will have exited already. The fact that you are here means that you can and will go on. Higher perspective will be completely silent to complaints; the only thing you can do is “join” the higher perspective and become able to be silent.

    I have been homeless and penniless for six years now, and I am fine, I am neutral, I sometimes laugh, I eat all I want to eat (while my diet changes slowly or suddenly or goes back or forward), I listen to all the music I want to listen to. I ask for nothing, not from anyone on the planet, and not internally either. I do all I can do for others who are still in close proximity to me physically and relationally, without usurping their autonomy. I do not accept requests for anything other than what needs to be done, practically and logistically. Money comes, I use it to buy what is necessary for physical survival; anything left over, I can use for little indulgences. I refuse to find a job — actually I am totally incapable of holding a job. And I refuse to do or say anything to get anything; in fact, I actually get annoyed and am visibly so to others when they disrespect my sovereignty or ask me to do things they should do. I still eat well and sleep under a roof.

    I am alone (though physically I am among family), with no one to talk to about what’s on my mind, not online or offline. That’s nothing new. It is what it is. Silence takes care of all pains and stupidities I may personally be infuriated about. I just consciously come back to Silence whenever I am disturbed, usually because of some idiotic human behavior. When I get really mad or frustrated, I listen to music, usually Bach. He wrote music, at least partly, for ascension and for us.

    I do see changes around me in the reality that I am physically perceiving. It’s at least a hundred times slower than I would like, but the changes are real and positive and accelerating. Everyone has a right to be what they want and do what they want, and no one is allowed to force change on anyone. We have to look at this as if we are off planet and monitoring the progress. We actually are. Let the personal self merge with all of YOU, so you can be all and feel all and know it is okay.


    • Akhilleus

      Thank you for your message. It is a sign of mastery to come to the place where you can see that the process is “yours” alone. And respect the free will of others to do what they will in these times.

      Each person now incarnated on this planet came for a personal reason. Even those of us who “sacrificed” having a “normal” life for one that is “in service” to humanity or to Gaia.

      Now, after years of service, I have decided to ascend on my own. I make my reality out of my feelings, and I gift myself with the highest feelings I can muster. This is the stuff that makes universes.

      • Thank you Akhilleus
        All you have expressed here is so Deeply Heartfelt, Understood and Beautiful. Most importantly to note that this is so, because it is Truth!

        Deepest Gratitude for sharing so transparently…And Much Love, Many Blessing to you,

  • Hello all,

    Lately, I have been using I AM statements every day, sometimes many times a day. Yes, when I still feel like I am in the shit pits I allow myself time for a poor pitiful me party then get the hell out of it. It really is that simple and that difficult. As Denise reminds us stair-steps……always. Some days up two then next day down one, frustrating…….but I know that I know that I know we have arrived, just need to give our old physical beingness a chance to catch up. I AM sending everyone here who is still struggling the intense joy I am feeling right now. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and catch it. It is for you loves, freedom and peace beyond understanding…Just take it. 🙂 🙂 🙂 (You too Denise this is for you)

    P.S. Anthony, I believe we each designed our own ascension process and what is happening, however it is perceived is exactly what is needed at the time. Took me a while to swallow that one, especially when I am without a support system, living alone and am in such physical pain that I cannot wipe my butt after taking a pee. Yeah that just happened 2 weeks ago. Seems like a lifetime ago because today I am in bliss and loving, enjoying every second while it lasts.

    Ditto on the pet thing. My dog and 2 cats are sometime my lifeline.

  • Thanks Denise for the wonderful service you provide!

    To Josh and all of you feeling these things.

    Even when partially awakened there are still human and soul programs that challenge your clarity so it is a great thing to ask questions.

    Isolation is a perspective based on the ego/personality programing. Isolation lasts until you are more sovereign. After that there is no perception of being isolated.

    The pain and suffering spoken of ends when you cease judging the changes. This is not to discount the utter frustration of how this feels sometimes.

    Choice and creating the creation spoken of is on its way, be patient. It is not what you think it will be.

    As to wanting to do nothing and no interests….this is an appropriate stage in the transition. Settle in and enjoy it. The need or thought to do “something” is the mind and all programming. Be patient and enjoy, there may be a time when you wish you had nothing to do.

    We understand the quandary, just relax it will change.

    Yes there is that place of boredom (not really boredom) this too is a natural stage and a place of resolve and preparation. This also is the stage of leaving desires which then turns you deeper into sovereignty.

    Having been through much of this personally i can assure you it does get more pleasant.
    Everyone should be recognized for all that you do in this process. Congratulations!!!

    Hope this helps some of you. With much love to all


  • Choose “what’…that’s the thing to get past…the time of the density of “what” is gone….now, it’s just” choosing”….it’s hard at first to do it with no concrete “choice” in “mind”, only intention and a whole being “yes” to ??! need to leap…nowhere to go…no net appearing….none needed….”what” is the mind doing the best it can….the more of you that surrenders to navigating in all this, the more the mind “ascends” too….and stops being so insistent on filling those as yet a bit unfamiliar spaces you have become with old constructs it recognizes, like believing that choosing must be choosing this or choosing that….:)” It’s been my experience that, in this energy, just the intention of choice is enough, allowing the rest to unfold in unimaginable ways…the ultimate grand adventure…and sometimes a wicked lonely trip! Hopefully not too obstruse in my expression!

  • It’s hard to believe we signed up for this, Anthony. I totally relate. Personally, I don’t think it was supposed to take this long, and sometimes I feel downright abandoned. The thought of more than a year where Team Dark is still running the show while we do our best to hold the Light while living in situations that are not in sync is downright nasty. I know everyone talks about vibration and all, but the reality is…there IS the issue of Money! Plain and simple. I’m calling it. It’s what the Dark uses to keep the light down. Think about it. Most of the (dare I say Heart Centered?) jobs that help our children, our people, and our societies are Low Paying. In today’s world many Teachers cannot afford housing in addition to student loans, and the same goes for Social Workers, and others. Many of the Forerunners live in Poverty and are having a very hard time getting by while we wait for what, exactly? It kind of feels like a trap sometimes. It has been hard to wrap my head around this taking us into (well into) 2016, but I am going to do my best to train and prepare and take care of myself in the deepest way I know how, and trust that I will be able to share my gifts with others in time (even if it is a Long Time). So, like you I sometimes feel “bored” in exactly the same way you mentioned. I am SO Thankful I have an amazing Dog. I honestly do not think I would have been able to make it this far without him. I wish the Authors of the Ascension Plan could REALLY Understand our suffering. It does seem like they care an awful lot more for Team Dark than the Weary Forerunners. You Are Not Alone, Anthony. Big Cyber Hug!!!

    • ‘…The thought of more than a year where Team Dark is still running the show while we do our best to hold the Light while living in situations that are not in sync is downright nasty…’


      I have to interject here and inform you and anyone else that still believes Team Dark is “running the show” that that is totally incorrect. Their long reign of terror expired on 12-21-12. It’s just that the masses don’t know this and therefore continue to participate mindlessly with whatever is thrown at them by TPTWere. Also, some of it has to do with the masses needing to finally see for themselves who these controllers have been, what all they’ve gotten away with for centuries, how much the masses have been intentionally lied to, used horrifically and so on. Many, many people around the world need to have many if not all of these longstanding Team Dark activities brought out into the LIGHT where they must acknowledge it and get angry enough to be willing to change. That being the key.

      While this sort of business plays itself out on the global stage, the true Forerunners are as usual still needing to led the way, embody first, do the conscious creating of the NEW for ourselves individually, and then for the planet and humanity. One step at a time however but it’s unfolding faster now than it has in decades.


      • I get where you are coming from Denise, and I am deeply disappointed my words were not interpreted in the vein they were intended. This would be why I have become leery of speaking anymore. I did not mean to say they were energetically “running the show,” but that they Are in Charge of day to day operations that we all must deal with, such as Food Prices, and the Quality of Food, for two small examples. The Truth is, right now, They Are In Control of our Food Chain. The have set the price of housing, etc. Those are the kinds of things I was referring to when I said “Running the Show.” And, forgive me, but my brain skips around, and I am kind of irritated that my body has changed in this never ending process, and I have become SO sensitive to foods that I cannot afford to eat enough of the healthy food my body craves, so I go hungry a lot…that is the kind of thing I was referring to. AND, I do appreciate your comments about the masses. I hadn’t looked at it that way, having known of their (Team Dark) longstanding activities for a Long Time!! Well Said!!! I have planted seeds with friends and family, and I know when the truth starts to come out they will remember. Sometimes I forget everyone else doesn’t Know. 😀

  • Denise, Anthony and Josh,
    It is a comfort to hear others having similar experiences and speaking the same language. We are all dispersed all over the place as we do this work, isolation from “our people” as well as the disconnect from the regular folk all around us is a heavy burden. While many years I have been stoically optimistic, some days I despaired at that pain and work of it all. External interference has been troublesome as has my own lingering attachments, in many ways the physical exhaustion was the least of the heavy lifting. Apparently, I really wanted this particular life to be a grueling one 😆
    I began feeling a “lightening up” at the very end of 2014 and I know I feel pretty desperately in need of some meek inheriting the earth sort of stuff but it does feel like the real thing at last.

  • I AM with you all on this and I will to keep moving in whatever way will help us all…Denise as always thank you thank you thank you for the posts…You have given me hope to go on…e*

  • Denise,
    This article couldn’t have come at a better time for me than today! I have been struggling with the old 3D BADLY since Jan. 1 2015. When I say BADLY it means, without grace. Some of the things that have been thrown at me, mostly in the work place, have been kicking me to the ground. I truly felt like giving up this morning as I drove into work. Praying for divine help to get me through another day. Today was pretty bad. Broken down work van while I was out on a parts run. Waiting in 32 degree weather for help, then getting yelled at by masculine ego asshole boss for things out of my control and the work just piling on. I just wanted to go home, yet I remembered this is all part of the “growing up spiritually” part as you talked about in your article. I have seen what I can do by connecting to the “light of Christ” and using my own power. But it truly is like a child learning to ride a bike. We truly are powerful beings. Believing in ourselves is empowering ourselves.

    “But, the Angels and everyone else are SO pleased with us and the jobs we’ve done and are still doing and we need to not forget this fact. Look up oh exhausted, disheartened, discouraged fellow Forerunner and take note of the fact that you’ve crossed the Phase One finish line and are existing within Phase Two now. Bravo and well done and Thank You for your unique and invaluable Divine Service. ❤ Put down your old tools and pick up your NEW ones for this NEW phase."

    This paragraph brought me to tears, as NO ONE has ever thanked me/us for doing the work we have all done over the last 18 years. So Thank You Denise for sending us some appreciation and love.
    Much love,

  • Boy,
    Those two letters embody a bit of what I’ve been going through. Bored? Shouldn’t I be “doing” something to expand my small little world? for me it is the judgement of not being in the “flow” of the masses. The other is two fold; neglecting to look/be right here where there is actually so much to accomplish, and not valuing the “space” I’ve created for myself to separate. It is a lonely gig, I’m just thankful I enjoy it and can get together with a friend now and again to fill me up, which makes me thankful to be back in my little space.

  • Wow. To be quite honest, for me this message was the equivalent of “drink more Ovaltine!” for those of you that remember that line from the movie “The Christmas Story.” I don’t even expect a roadmap anymore, but sometimes a damn signpost might be nice! Who the hell designed this ascension process? Because there’s no way they could have ever been human. A two year old could have done a better job of it, at least for us “weary forerunners.” So, we just bump around in the dark like always to figure it all out for ourselves. And this is progress? No wonder we’re the “weary” forerunners…

    • Difficult, to say the least. One moment we are looking up and the next we are wondering who pissed in our wheaties? And, we signed up for this? 🙂

      • Lol pocahontas, thanks for the laugh…good god. I’m far too tired to comment at this time, but I resonate with all of the battle weary folks on this site. Thank you all for sharing your experiences. Thank you denise.

    • Anthony, THANK YOU! You were right-on with the “Drink Your Ovaltine” – we’ve done enough real service to demand some real answers, not just empty “keep your chin up” platitudes or blaming the victim, like the crap-fest is somehow our fault and we’re *responsible for creating this reality*. No one in their right mind would *create* isolation, grief, illness, poverty, etc. No, no, just NO.

      I completely relate to all the other weary folks here who have just had enough already. We were promised “better,” “happy,” NOT a Phase 2 and more and harder work. How many years have we been doing this work and hearing “the end is in sight, just hang on, wait ’til 2012, wait til 9 months after 2012,” etc. Now the party line seems to be “things get better in 2016.” How much you want to bet in 2016 it’ll be 2018, and so on? Just, wow. I can’t even.

      Between the debilitating migraines, depression and complete lack of purpose/drive/energy/companionship, plus horrible events snowballing across my day-to-day existence, it’s not just difficult to keep my job (which continually sucks more and barely pays enough to survive), it’s a struggle to keep *living*. As in, requiring copious amounts of happy pills just to keep me from driving my car into a wall, and it would not be my first time trying to get out. Recently in fact.

      So, let me be the one to disagree with the smiley angel and say, “No, in fact, it is NOT OKAY! Not even close.” OKAY does not mean pushing lightworkers who have been faithful and holding on for years to the point where we want to end our freakin’ lives to escape the pain and require a ton of medication to keep that from happening. The fact that so many of us are feeling like total crap and not seeing the payoff, and in fact being in worse circumstances – unacceptable. I *thought positive* and did the work and believed with all my heart for 15 years – if I was going to create a happier, brighter reality, it would’ve happened long ago, not gotten worse. And I’m insulted by the notion that we only have ourselves to blame because we’re sucky creators and just have to *learn again*. What a copout. There’s always some delay or excuse for why ascension still blows – and I’m done buying into it.

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