Cannot, Will Not Do This Anymore

  It’s Christmas Eve morning as I start this. I know it’s supposed to be all festive, full of holiday spirit, joy, love and happiness etc., but to be honest, I’ve felt extra terrible the past few days. We all know how brutal nearly every day of 2019 has been. I could bullshit everyone and say what a great time I’m having, that my birthday was wonderful, that life is good, but it’s not true. It’s not in my nature to throw faux verbal glitter on speed-bumps of pain and misery and then be thankful they sparkle. I’ve never had a problem honestly saying how difficult and painful certain Ascension Processes are because I know they’re a normal part of the entire process and won’t last forever. Neutrality remember?

2019 has been so deeply, so profoundly, so intensely difficult and pain-filled in many different ways that I should have known the end of 2019 would be even more intense. The holidays and birthdays haven’t made the end of 2019 any less severe than the entire year has been. I should have been better prepared for this year to end with even greater intensity.

Tomorrow, Christmas day, is a New Moon Solar Eclipse at 4° Capricorn 7′. What do you have natally at or within orb of that? If you have a natal planet(s), important angle or strong aspect to it, (which I do at the same degree and sign) then this cosmic re-structural Capricorn party will intensify even more. The special 2019 gifts just keep coming, and they’re doing so to help us out of where we’ve been and up higher into what awaits us. Doesn’t matter that they’re most likely causing us more amplified emotional pains and nearly unbearable building inner pressures. This is the end of 2019 after all! We’re supposed to be and feel utterly and completely DONE with the way life and reality has been for us for the past twenty-some ascension years. I for one cannot take another day, another step, another moment of how it’s been into my NEW tomorrows. I cannot, I will not, I will break before I suffer any more of the same into my near future, into our near future.

Today is December 28th and I obviously wasn’t able to finish this when I’d intended. More of those severe evolutionary head pains and pressures, vertigo, nausea, eye sensitivities to light and movement, painful spine in certain areas and a lot of other strange stabbing pains and side effects forced me to lay down and deal with these current energy waves and sleep to more easily integrate them. Besides these extra intense energy wave pains and pressures to the physical body, I’ve also been dealing with equally epic flurries of emotional releasing unfolding almost constantly all of December 2019. To be expected after how severe this year has been and that we’re at the very end of it.

December 22nd I think I was suddenly channeling Pluto in Capricorn! I felt like Plutonian Darth Vader with a lightsaber mowing down everything and everyone that needs to be removed now because the NEW is replacing and relocating it, them, all. Typical Pluto in Capricorn take no prisoners sort of energy where no one and nothing is left standing from the lower cycle.

There’s no more classic Lightworker transmuting dream Work of cleaning up humanity’s residual filth in public toilets for me. I’ve reached Pluto in Capricorn mode where everything is scrapped, lightsaber-ed into unmanifest oblivion because that is where we’re at in late December 2019. And it feels so gooood.

In addition to all this ongoing fun and excitement there’s been the increasing and intensifying reality of time spent in NO TIME. Time spent, time lived in Spherical consciousness, in quantum timeless NO TIME. It’s lovely once you get better acquainted with living your NEW life in a level and frequency where linear time is not always present. I’m sure that as we each cross this bridge, we’ll adapt to living the majority of our lives in NO TIME with our NEW and growing Spherical consciousness. Just roll with the weirdness and assorted NEW evolutionary anomalies and other phenomena. No fear, just feel and pay attention with and from your HighHeart instead of your linear left-brain.

My point is that as painful as it’s been physically this month—the last three actually—many of us have been feeling amplified emotional pains and pressures too of absolutely no longer being able to co-exist with lower frequency and consciousness Portal People. Like Pluto in Capricorn, the time has come when the wheat must be Separated from the chaff so all can continue however it now must happen from different levels of development and matching frequency worlds and timelines. We are at, we are in, we are living this phase, this process of the Ascension Process at it’s very end which is why it feels so huge and unbearable. Hang in there everyone, this too will pass.

I get the sense that another potent energy Wave will arrive tomorrow, December 29, 2019. Another mighty energy Wave pushing us away from what has been at the end of 2019. Know where you want to be. Be aware that Pluto and Saturn & Co. in Capricorn are lightsaber-ing the heck out of what has been because that’s where we are now. Frequency match internally with where you want to be externally and Work from there and do not look back. Rest and extra self-care from here on out because this won’t be slowing down.


December 28, 2019

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64 thoughts on “Cannot, Will Not Do This Anymore

  • You are right Bente as far as being unrecognized in this world. But I think that will soon change not that we really care. It reminds me of a line at end of latest Star Wars. When an old lady asks the lead female character “you have been nobody for so long who are you?” By the way as others on here have said if you possibly can see this movie now is the time. It is awesome telling of our wonderful but frightening journey. Truly inspired.

  • Thank you Denise and everyone for your comments. I haven’t commented for the past 3 months (Oct-Dec), I was here though. So wanted to thank you for all your previous articles as well and all who commented on each of them. I constantly found myself saying yes yes yessssss. ❤ ❤ ❤ "It’s not in my nature to throw faux verbal glitter on speed-bumps of pain and misery and then be thankful they sparkle." Thanks for the laugh Denise, truth be told. I also felt the Pluto in Capricorn energy wanting to take down everyone and everything in my way. And yes, I too have been strongly feeling I "cannot, will not do this anymore"! Today is the last day of 2019. Happy 2020 Denise and all as we spiral onto the next phase of our AP/EP's. ✨🌟 Really looking forward to those unlimited spark plugs for 2020, my physical body can use an abundant supply of them. 😂 ❤

  • I see everybody here as true superheroes. A true superhero have to hide his/her identity. She/he Will not get any medal, praise or honour from people, but will instead be judged as strange, awkward( Clark Kent😉) sick or weak and you have to play that part. A true selfless act of goodness.

  • I’m finally starting to come out of a very difficult time physically and emotionally, for myself and all my daughters, and I wanted to say how much I appreciated this article, Denise, and all the active comments. My sincere love and gratitude! I am SO READY to say goodbye to 2019!

  • Briefly, yesterday, December 29th, was the most physically heavy day I’ve ever experienced… such pressurized weight on my whole body, I could barely move and when I did, joint pain was severe. However… BIG however… this morning, I remembered and KNEW, something that Denise has been saying in so many different ways over very many years, but damn it, I forgot! A note to Raymond B., your mentioning 7D photonic Light was I’m sure, the trigger. When we Volunteers arrived here on Earth, we came down the staircase. We were multidimensional before we got here. We voluntarily gave up and forgot our multidimensional living so that, as the Galactic Waves hit, we could anchor those very high-vibing frequencies slowly into 3D Gaia, build the NEW grid, and thus NEW Earth. This morning, I woke up (understatement 😉 , and remembered that I was, prior to my arrival on Earth, a 7D Arcturian, and that my specialty was Sound. For a 70-year old, my hearing is still way above average, and of course what does TD use to attack me, but NOISE! The PP’s who live below me have done exactly what they were supposed to do in the last three years, intensifying in 2019, and that was to distract me constantly with their fighting and screaming and banging at all hours of the day and night, and through it all, I AM HERE, STANDING, and ready for January 12th. The PP’s are leaving, not me/ME because I will celebrate our arrival into NEW Earth, and then I go home. And along with so many here, I thank Denise with all of my heart/Heart for helping us all to get back up that staircase, and I HEAR my Arcturians applauding us all. Teary, they are! Love, B.

    • Ive been through this so many times throughout these Phase 1 Ascension Process 20 years and at times I've hated it, been enraged by it, felt victimized by it, felt totally alone in it, but in the end of every negative battle/attack/abuse etc. I come out more empowered and energetically sovereign. What have we Volunteers, Starseeds, First Everythingers, Forerunners, Pathpavers been doing all along in these Volunteered ascension lives? We've been transmuting Duality in and through ourselves and our physical and energy bodies and more.

      I’m now going to seemingly get a bit weird here because there’s a really lovely parallel example “story” unfolding beside those of us who’ve actually been living it. It is the latest Star Wars movies. I haven’t as yet seen the latest movie, and only saw Star Wars The Last Jedi last night on TV. Because I haven’t seen all of the latest three is it now??? Star Wars movies I don’t have all that information yet, but I do have it via what I’m living because of the AP and EP.

      These stories are much like what Barbara has been living through, what most of us have been living through for years and/or decades which is US having to deal with Team Dark, with old lower cycle DUALITY on Earth, in humanity in general but more so in humans who are Portal People in the physical and astral, and in those overlapping dimensional areas where it’s all grey and ultra weird. The old dimensional Veils and boarders disappeared well over a decade ago so it’s been a negative free-for-all for a long time as we traveled from 3D through astral 4D to finally reach baseline 5D.

      What I’ve been seeing in these last two Star Wars movies (again, I haven’t seen the latest one yet) is a reflection of the Ascension Process and the Embodiment Process. It’s the back and forth crap between the Light and the Dark of old lower cycle DUALITY on a Universal scale. Team Light is the Jedi, Team Dark are energies and beings who want Duality to continue forever. They don’t want to evolve, ascend, but remain in Wars constantly. Those of us like Barbara have been overriding that, dead-ending that, Working endlessly in the darkest, most brutal shit pits in our own lives and bodies to end DUALITY, to transcend it and reach a higher level, state, being, reality, Earth, Universe and more.

      In the Star Wars: The Last Jedi movie I watched for the first time just last night, there were scenes in it that are so similar to what we First Everythingers have been living, doing, suffering through and transcending for months, years and decades in this ascension life. The entire male/female business with twin brother sisters and now male/female doing battle with each other and so on is the AP “battle” and struggle of integrating everything that’s been separated, DUALIZED and seemingly pitted against each other in so many ways for so long. We, you and me reading this have been living all this and far worse in our own AP and EP processes for years and years. But…

      Another scene in last nights movie that I know well and wrote about my own experiences with it in The Temple of Master Hotei, and in an ancient Egyptian past life at TRANSITIONS, was when Luke Skywalker, now old and beat to hell physically, sits on a rock in an ancient Jedi Temple alone seemingly looking like he’s DOING nothing 😉 , is actually Working his spiritual ass off battling with his Team Dark nephew Kylo Ren in another physical location far away. Doing and Not Doing simultaneously. Here and elsewhere simultaneously etc. At the end of this battle between them, senior aged Luke is seen physically sitting on the rock in the Jedi Temple, exhausted and collapses battle weary and then… he Ascends and intentionally dematerializes his physical body. Here comes 2020 my fellow First Everythingers. We are the NEW, we are the living myths, we are the next level, we have Worked long and hard to ascend above old lower level and Universal cycle of Duality and are now beginning anew as integrated male/female, Dark/Light, Mother/Father, Source Selves in the NEW Universal cycle of Triality.

      • Wow Denise! 🙏😘 Thank you so much for this. I too have never seen the Last Jedi and “happened” to watch it for the first time last night!!! I was wondering why I hadn’t watched it until now. Seems like last night was the time for the download. Thank you for your explanation of this as it relates to the AP/EP…super helpful! ❤️❤️❤️

        I am beyond excited to graduate with all my fellow classmates and live New Earth NOW! 🧖‍♀️

        (As an aside, the Schumann Resonance for yesterday was literally a column of light!)

        May the Force Be You (little paraphrasing here!)

        Big HighHeart Hugs and Love to you and All! Nancy😍🎉❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

        • Does everyone remember I mentioned recently about how one of my atomic clocks had jumped to December 29, 2019 (yesterday) months ago? I’m sorry it’s taken me all these years to correctly interpret what these clock time and date change messages meant. But yes, yesterday was very intense but so very positive.

          And Nancy, a reader emailed me recently because she had just seen (I haven’t seen it and won’t until it’s on the TV) the latest Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker movie at a theater and she was sharing her insights about it in relation to my article, NEW Divine Father Masculine & the Saturn Pluto Capricorn Conjunction. I hope she sees our Comments about the AP and EP processes and the reflections of them in the Star Wars movies and joins in this conversation here. ❤

      • Denise, I debated three times writing you about Star Wars, most recent movie out, almost emailed you. You must-must see the new one. You will need to bring Kleenex. You will be blown away in the theater. I sat while credits ran, I couldn’t move. I wrote people about it while I sat there. I will treat myself to it again. It is the first fully successful metaphor of a war ending all wars (though Game of Thrones was successful final season conveying end of archetypes, world games, and war). Star Wars, current release, is the most incredible parallel to what we’ve been through that I am aware of that exists in the mainstream. It’s astounding. At moments, it’s not metaphor at all. Also, there is an UNBELIEVABLE portrayal of divine masculine/feminine UNIFICATION that occurs. That, in my opinion, was mind blowing enough. Another first of its kind. I knew after seeing this film that new stories can now be created… Though Star Wars isn’t written very well, the story is so well-constructed. It’s hard for me to think the writers didn’t know what they were doing..! I just don’t know how they couldn’t have known!!! The imagery in the film… giant original death star, defunct, destroyed in decay out in the ocean, giant waves moving through it, where the two leads duke it out amidst the waves in a last fight of male/female as we once knew it, exhausting themselves, finally beginning the true merger of divine masculine and divine feminine … this scene alone symbolically reveals the downfall of everything and the birth of all new things simultaneously!!!! But the best scene of all, made me cry it was so close to the literal experience of heaven and Galactic’s assisting and joining us in this turn of history, is one I can’t tell you because I wouldn’t spoil it. I was stunned when I saw it happen. It is what has really happened… It is incredible that the symbolic Hope from the original film has come to fruition and culminated in reality into everything it symbolically represented!!!.. in a crazy sci-fi movie made way back by young guys with probably no clue! Again, bring Kleenex. Maybe sneak some brandy in too, or something. 😉

        • Hello Marcy, Denise, and All,

          Marcy, you are right about this movie “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker”! I got a lot of intel downloads and clear, direct reflections of the ascension process through it! Thank you for your post!

          Yesterday (Jan. 3, 2020) my higher levels asked me to go to see this movie. (I don’t like going to the theater as I never know if there will be too many people or disruptive people in the audience. That said my higher levels have used movies in theaters to give me downloads since the 1980s, probably before, even.)

          Any who, I went at 10:40am and there were only about 15 people in a large theater. So no problem. I was completely engrossed in the film as it spoke to me about the process we have gone through and are going through.

          About half way through, my body began to physically vibrate and shake (a sign of intel download and embodiment for me). Then at the last fight scene, tears poured down my face in relief and celebration. Wow! Wow! Wow! I felt how all the seemingly endless sacrifice and courage to face our fears and other challenges is finally…Fucking Finally paying off!

          Gratitude to you Marcy, Denise and all here! We Did It!
          Love Love Love to you! Nancy

      • Thanks Denise. I would be curious to know about her experience of the new Star Wars as I too have not seen it.

        One other thing I failed to mention about “The Last Jedi” was that I really liked when Yoda lit the library on fire and laughed saying the library’s time had passed. He said that the character Rey, like all of us AP/EP spiritual gangsters, embodied much more wisdom in herself than all of the books combined. It reminded of our recent discussion in the comment section of another article you wrote about not needing or being interested in spiritual teachers anymore as, like Rey, we already have embodied that knowledge.

        HighHeart Love to you😀💕💕💕💕💕💕Nancy

      • Denise,
        I saw the latest Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker and (major spoiler alert here!) the interesting part to me was that the female Jedi (Light Side) warrior actually ended up being the granddaughter of the Emperor of the Dark Side; and the male Sith (dark side) warrior was the son of Jedi light warriors. The female refused to succumb to the dark side, (died and was resurrected by the male) and changed her name in the end calling herself Skywalker. The male renounced the dark side and gave his light/life energy to raise the female from the dead.

        Very complicated to write out, but basically the Light prevailed on all counts. And all the dualities coalesced into the one female light warrior.

        • Thanks Diana and everyone for sharing about this. ❤ These movies and the timing of their release are no accident. It's about humanity being prepped to shift out of the old and into the return of Divine Mother Feminine, the NEW Divine Father Masculine etc. right now and over these next few years. It's so exciting to finally see manifesting in our reality.

    • Thank you Barbara for sharing your unique wisdom. I love you, we love you. Wishing us all a Very Happy New Decade, and a Wonderful New Life.

      • Dear Barbara,..I echo Finn’s warm comment to you, and to all of us here. We celebrate your victory as you uncover the depths of your cosmic Beingness, and I am humbled by the strength of your will and all that you’ve endured as you arrive at your NEW location. Thank you for all that you are and Embody. I send you love/LOVE amongst all the others. May your entry into 2020 be ever more revealing to you of the beautiful self-appreciation and self-love you’ve helped us all to connect with.

  • Hi Denise. You are one of the very small number of people whose writings I now read so I thank you from my heart for your help and guidance. I feel the emotional pain the letting go of so many people the isolation and within that there is a feeling of new will come in if I can survive this part of the journey.I love what you say about doing nothing as that is all I can do now.I am bringing it all back to my process now and have to let people decide whatever they choose.It is like dying and saying goodbye in a conscious way.Your truth and your light is a really strong north star guidance system for me and helps keep me moving forward day by and hug to you from Ireland

  • I have to thank you Denise. For 10 years I had no idea what was happening to me. I can relate to all the pain you are talking about I Just did not know what it was. I had my awakening this spring, I am soon turning 41. I saw that the world is not even glose to what I thought it was. Read your book and that helped me even more too understand myself. So big thank you.

  • Dear Denise,

    Cannot, will not, anymore’, is a mantra, or a silent tee shirt design I have been wearing, speaking, deciding, declaring and demonstrating like an atomic end of a world explosion that was defined for me on December 11th in one of the nation’s most glorified cancer hospitals that functions as a chamber for sexual assault and torture. I cannot, and I will not suffer for the pleasure of others, no matter if it comes from the mouths of those drowning in hatred, or from the strong hands of individuals who hold me down against my will and dissect me like a butterfly. No! The atoms have split, and the idealism, kindness, love, gentleness, generosity and goodness that defines who I am will not be frightened into submission.

    My body is stiff and I cannot move parts of it, such as my leg. It refuses to bend. For four years it has been getting worse and two days ago I feel down the flight of wooden stairs that leads from the upper level of my house to the lower. Crawling, until I could stand up like a baby learning to walk, I righted myself, then returned to bed, a safe, cushioned place piled high with flannel, down feathers and velveteen. I cannot live like this anymore.

    My hair, which I cannot touch without strands of it coming loose from my sore scalp, has fallen out steadily since 2015, and I have just let it grow like a wild weed, right down my back, as if I were a school girl needing braids.

    If I thought I was sensitive before I am now more acutely aware than ever of the music the wind makes zinging through the leafless trees, and the scalding flash of the cardinal couple who dart between the bushes outside my window seeking seeds. The interior background noise / humming / internal alerts have become constant sometimes, and I welcome them in their frequent intensity because perhaps it will signal my ability of absorb as much as is necessary for my over hall.

    It wasn’t Christmas, it was something else, a conscious ‘good-bye’ to those I can no longer tolerate, or know, for whom I have respect and fondness, but who are now like smoke wafting up from my past, a memory. Although I do not have enough strength to smile, I can use words to express my gratitude to you, Denise, for your honesty that is a refreshing tonic that demands drinking. The meeting place you have allowed to flourish, here, is what I hold on to, and where I come, for renewal, commiseration, and understanding. I can never, ever, thank you enough.

    Ringing in a new year, with the bells that will set us all free,
    Love, as always, Cali

    • “Cannot, will not, anymore’, is a mantra, or a silent tee shirt design I have been wearing, speaking, deciding, declaring and demonstrating like an atomic end of a world explosion that was defined for me on December 11th in one of the nation’s most glorified cancer hospitals that functions as a chamber for sexual assault and torture. I cannot, and I will not suffer for the pleasure of others, no matter if it comes from the mouths of those drowning in hatred, or from the strong hands of individuals who hold me down against my will and dissect me like a butterfly. No! The atoms have split, and the idealism, kindness, love, gentleness, generosity and goodness that defines who I am will not be frightened into submission.”

      Cali Flower, my, our hearts are with you. Firsthand conscious abuses by the “normal people and professionals” in the old lower world is when carrying Light and higher awareness is brutal on more levels than the obvious. I’ve been there repeatedly as have most of us. The other day I read this in Lisa Renee’s blog section and wanted to share it with you then but waited because it felt too early to lay this on you on top of what you’ve just been through at the hands of those demented “professionals”. Because of what you said that I quoted, I’d like you to see this particular piece of wisdom from Lisa Renee, horrible as it is, because it is truth, very harsh, horrible truth of how it has been on Earth for a very long time. The parts in it that are in bold were done by me.

      “Although unpleasant to comprehend, there is a worldwide Satanic Ritual Abuse (SRA) agenda, which promotes the main methods behind the Archontic Deception Strategy that can be easily seen covertly operating in a variety of social structures, such as the medical system. Once we are informed by how this method works to create sociopaths, as it is reinforced in the unconscious minds of the people, we can safeguard and protect ourselves from being further manipulated. It is our informed awareness and spiritual commitment to serve our highest expression that ultimately protects us from being used and abused unconsciously. For this reason, we have summarized the basic recipe for grooming sociopathic minds through SRA methods:…”

      The first time my hair suddenly started falling out by the bucketfuls (not an exaggeration sadly) was ten years ago. It lasted for a few months then stopped and didn’t grow back all that fell out. It suddenly started up again in September 2019, not as severely as ten years ago but hair-loss is hair-loss! I first through that it was probably a bodily side effect of what all happened in June with my mom, the paramedic, ER nurse, doctors, surgeons etc. and some of it probably is from all that negativity and abuse we both went through back then. But some of it also has to do with how much NEW-to-us Light and plasma energies, radiation and NEW codes and DNA changes etc. we’re being bombarded with constantly. Our physical bodies are transmuting anything that needs to be while we’re being evolved into crystalline-based Light beings in human physical form. That or we’re just getting old and loosing our hair, or both! 😉

      Please self-care constantly now because we’re going through NEW and increasingly higher frequencies hourly. And good gawd watch those f-ing stairs in your house! Sometimes it’s hard to walk through a doorway without injuring our hands, elbows or shoulders because “reality” isn’t its usual solid self! We’ve all got to be extra aware of what we’re doing during those times when so much is in flux and shifting both internally in us, and externally in the very physical reality we each live in from moment to moment.

      And yes to the greatly increasing sensitivity to everything and everyone. It’s part of the AP and EP and takes some time to adapt to again and again and again as we continue evolving ever higher. Rest, nest, empower, release and do not stop Working on and for yourself through all this. ❤ ❤ ❤

  • So grateful I just read what you wrote. Emotional pain is intense today, tonight. I spent the evening sobbing, so glad to read the above. It’s funny, I’ve never been stronger or living in more faith heart than now and yet I’ve never felt closer to having a real heart attack than I do now! Energies coming in since Christmas Eve, forced me to come home early and stay. Guides actually told me to stay inside on more than one day. The warnings are strong and words used to describe the state people are in… are strong. I like people, I love people, I’m lonely in my newness. I like to go out and be social, normally good, hard for me to stay inside sometimes, but two days out of the past three…holy cow. Stay inside time. Monsters are out and about. I’m not afraid of monsters now, but I can’t be around them now it seems. It’s weird, even if you can’t see where the energy is coming from or who it’s from, it feels intolerable. Remaining lids of the past seem to be ripping off. It feels like being a kid and having lost everything in your entire bedroom and someone’s trying to pull the only thing you have left, a shabby old blankey from your arms. And you know you need to let it go, but it sucks to lose… absolutely everything, doesn’t feel good, it’s terrifying. Also feels like the body can’t handle it. With all these compressive feelings in chest, heart, I don’t know if my hearts going to cave… with all of us letting go. Btw I loved, loved that phrase you used, such a good wording, “…verbal glitter on speed bumps of pain”. The whole sentence was great! I felt your pain in those two first paragraphs and I was so grateful, if you don’t mind my saying, that I wasn’t the only one suffering. It actually started to feel like maybe I was. That’s how alone and new I feel.
    My whole life and work and world up ahead is dramatically seriously amazing beyond imagination. But I’m freaking right now. So I’m glad you didn’t make your words sparkle at all.

  • It is inpossible for me to take part of anyones conversations so I just sit silentley and observe them being uncounsious, and sometimes I am being verbally attaced, but I don’t get angry about it because they are not awere of this themselves, how can I really blame them. I try my best to accept it. They don’t know they are being controlled by the dark. I Just watch them like watching TV. Can anyone relate to this? I too feel alone in all of this. Am I suppose to be around people, watching them from the outside or Just BE. I find that difficult to. I’m stuck in the middle.

    • Bente,

      It’s important to be aware of all these differences in people, their levels of consciousness and development and so on but it’s very important that each of us continues our personal, individual evolutionary Ascension Process (AP). Be aware of the differences, people, frequencies etc. but do NOT wait and watch the Separation. Keep living the AP to your best and highest ability day and night because doing that helps YOU be where YOU want to be, live and exist. Each of us has to keep Working on our own individual AP and/or EP in these important lives of ascension. If we sit back and continue waiting as so very many people have been doing for the past twenty years, one is finding themselves not where they want to be! Continue raising YOUR inner frequencies, your “Light quotient”, your very vibratory frequency rate so that you’ll be able to live and survive in a matching high frequency world and reality.

      Observe, be aware, continue Working on yourself to continue ascending even higher. Do all that and more simultaneously and then you are BEING. 😉

      • “Continue raising YOUR inner frequencies, your “Light quotient”, your very vibratory frequency rate so that you’ll be able to live and survive in a matching high frequency world and reality.”

        We have been continually encouraged and admonished to do this, but I’ve never quite grasped how it is done. I feel so sick and weak and exhausted right now that it’s hard to focus on anything. What is it we are supposed to do to raise our vibration?

        • Yes, I Wonder about this to. Is there really anything else to do than staying present in the moment, accepting the present moment, not focusing on the past and future or am I way off here?

        • Exactly what you’ve been doing all along kimdenise. It’s why you feel, we feel, so sick, weak and exhausted as you said.

          Some of my greatest evolutionary AP and EP Work is done while I’m doing nothing but feeling terrible because I’m embodying more NEW Light energies, more NEW codes, more higher multi-D DNA and so on. In other words, by being open, receptive and totally willing to be changed by embodying more NEW higher frequencies/Light etc., the faster these transformations happen in us. This has a lot to do with each of us becoming more and more capable of being BOTH receptive and active simultaneously. Do NO Thing while Working your energetic backside off! 😆 Divine Mother Feminine and Divine Father Masculine within each of us Working together simultaneously.

          One can DO and NOT DO at the same time. One can feel like utter shit on toast while one is becoming more of Source. This happens more than most would believe when we’re going through another potent round of Light energy wave pulses etc. arriving in us and Earth. Old linear consciousness thinks that things can only happen one at a time, whereas in all higher levels and dimensions everything is capable of happening at the same moment. Quantum or linear or both simultaneously on those really severe embodiment days!

          If anyone feels they need to “DO” something, then Work on expanding your HighHeart even more than it currently is. Feel more, intentionally expand, open and stretch out bigger and bigger your HighHeart so more NEW higher can get in and be embodied by you. If you have an honest desire to evolve now, to continue ascending etc., then the most you and all of us can “DO” is NOT DO anything physical. Just be open, receptive and willing to change even more, which is mega “DOING” truth be told! ❤

  • Will people, situations and “things” start to fade from our sight, or will we disappear to reappear in a “place” where we have everything we like and love?

    I just wanted first of all to be able to be with my wife, our two daughters and our cats (if they want to) in an extremely better (newearth?). If I won hundreds of millions in the lottery today, I would spend on tickets to this family nucleus to go to paradise. (I know I know, it doesn’t take money. this is just to show how much i want it) 😊

    • “Will people, situations and “things” start to fade from our sight, or will we disappear to reappear in a “place” where we have everything we like and love?”

      Diogo V L,

      The easiest way for me to explain this is for you to think about different frequencies. You know how there’s more sounds and more colors (Light) that are higher and faster, and, lower and slower than the range of frequencies humans can currently hear and see physically? They exist but because they vibrate at very different rates of frequency than the range we humans currently exist within, very many of them we simply cannot hear, see, feel or perceive in any way.

      This is exactly how the Ascension Process (AP) and current Separation of Worlds is currently unfolding. Multiple different frequency Earth worlds for all people to naturally go to, to “migrate” to now that is an energetic match to them currently. Like-frequencies automatically attract similarly vibrating individuals which is why this massive Separation has been happening.

      Now each individual MUST themselves be within a specific range of higher and faster vibrating frequencies to be able to exist in them and not be harmed or “fried alive” by them etc. The individuals that can’t or don’t want to evolve now but want to remain in their current physical bodies are those individuals who are now automatically being migrated to a matching frequency Earth world that THEY are a vibrational match with. To people who are Descending now, the rest of us will simply disappear but that doesn’t mean they’ll be conscious of this because they won’t. They will not remember us at all. Don’t fixate on this, just let them go to where they need to go to now. ❤

      To those individuals who are Ascending, who have been increasing their personal internal "Light quotient" — those intensifying Inner Body Vibrations we've been feeling inside our physical bodies getting faster, more intense and expanding for years or decades now via the AP — to those people the others will no longer be in OUR physical Earth world and reality. The radical difference in vibratory rates and speeds of these different frequencies automatically causes a Separation that sends everyone to a matching frequency Earth world to what they themselves currently are. And there are many of them. Be at peace about this Diogo because if you and your loved ones are all vibrating within a similar frequency range, then you'll all be together. This is how this all works and why. 🙂

      • I understand.
        Some time ago I had many desires yet to experience on earth (3d / matrix). but a few days ago I just started to desire to get out of here. with so many “processes” still going on here, with so much still going on and about to happen. With so many things to do, I just feel like getting out of here. my wife is feeling the same way, and some time ago we had so many wants and so many plans. and now we simply lose our will to it all.
        Well, in any case, when I wake up somewhere very nice to me, even if I can’t be with my wife, daughters and the cats, I will be more at ease if I know they have managed to go to their favorite and nice places. Thanks for your attention Denise.

  • ” I was suddenly channeling Pluto in Capricorn! I felt like Plutonian Darth Vader with a lightsaber mowing down everything and everyone that needs to be removed “

    Well said, had me on the floor laughing only because its exactly how i feel too… thank you Denise You Got This Girl!

  • Thank you Denise and Everyone here for your delightful honesty. What a sharing relief you all are !! — Lately; the negative attacks during dreamtime have been so severe; that I’ve had to mentally arm myself to the teeth ahead of sleep. – Usually; it takes three bullets directly to the heart of the attacker; before they are neutralised (!!) – (Did we really say “Yes please; bring it on!” before we incarnated into this mess?). – Much love to Everyone; let’s run towards 2020 !!

  • Dear Denise earth day blessings to you 🤗✨🌈 to a whole new reality, experience, solar year full of light joy and freedom and so much more! With high heart hugs and love 🤗❤️

  • Very helpful Denise to have someone with to chuck the faux glitter balls away! Had a friend staying at Christmas and did huge sigh of relief when put her on the train home yesterday. She’s spiritual but don’t think she stops talking long enough to suss any of it. Felt mean thinking it, but got more like a stroppy teenage by the minute in her presence! So yes some frequencies just are not resonating with each other at all any more. Here’s to us.

  • This morning I said out loud, “Denise, we need another article!” And you came through with exactly what I needed, everything I’ve been thinking (okay, screaming) for the past few weeks. Well, really, the last 20 years, with the past 5 or so years accelerating the awfulness until it really feels like we’ve reached a peak, and then 2019 ratcheting on up and up and up. I don’t know how I will take much more. I am so very done. The emotional storms on top of the physical pain and debility have been brutal.

    I’m so tired. It helps so much to be reminded that others are feeling this, too, and that we’re getting somewhere.

  • Denise, the title of this post is so exactingly apropos for these days that it simply cannot be coincidental…My “Cannot, Will Not Do This Anymore” moment arrived yesterday, December 27. A very wealthy funding agency that has assisted with part of my companion’s household bills for eight-plus years, has been accelerating its re-filing deadlines for continuing aid…they first required it yearly, then every six months, then every three months, and now it has asked to return the documents within two weeks’ time…and THAT was the last straw! It was at that point that I said that I “cannot, will not do this anymore”….that is, jump one more hoop and fill out oodles of paperwork to satisfy an impersonal institution’s arbitrary deadlines to “prove” that my ill companion “merits” receiving financial aid. I can smell these tea leaves from so many levels and agendas…including how they work through the “portal” that my unaware companion himself IS to these energies. SO, I have decided to re-file his documents on MY schedule…and I have declared that I will not allow any person or institution EVER AGAIN to dictate when (or if) he (or I, for that matter) qualifies for receiving ANYTHING on this planet while he/we are still residing on it in a physical body, except on our own timing. It is a clear boundary. What will happen if I/we don’t satisfy the “powers that WERE” and have this funding removed?? Well, I guess whatever is supposed to happen next! There will be many more of these moments in our future, I’m certain…but I am not afraid. As for me, money has nothing to do with whether or not I enter into Phase 2 of my AP/EP journey.

    Sending my LOVE to you, Denise, and to everyone here…and although I don’t know if I was successful, may someone benefit from the energetic “understanding” I tried to share here…

    • Hi dearest Raymond! Yes, I absolutely understand and resonate with you completely. Your words and energy are always clear to me. I have been saying out loud lately (actually for several years) but truly in the past few weeks, that I AM DONE! CANNOT and WILL NOT DO THIS ANYMORE. Denise, your article has been very timely shared (they always are). I agree, Raymond, I am not afraid either. Bring it ON!

      Denise, I just noticed the background to the page – I SAW this exact image in a dream the other night. ❤
      Love to you all here!

      • “Denise, I just noticed the background to the page – I SAW this exact image in a dream the other night.”


        What you saw in your recent dream are what some of the NEW Light energies and NEW codes look like. Not all of them but a big percentage.

        Last night while awake in bed a nice male being suddenly became present in my awareness and told me something about these NEW December 2019 Light energies. It was a short communication but an important one for all of us so, instead of sharing it here in a Comment, I’ll write another short article in a day or two. This may be my NEW way of writing articles in 2020 — more articles each month but shorter because things are changing so fast and need to be shared quickly because we’ve entered Phase 2 of the AP with the start of January 2020. ❤

        • Thank you Denise! I KNEW it was special and important. I’ve had several other dreams (consecutive nights) that had to do with the separation (changing times for us Everything’s) , a Light Being showing me a glimpse of what is coming (our/all of us) way and it brought me such peace and joy. Fucking finally! Said with such High Heartness. 🙂
          Look forward to hearing more from you in your NEW way.🌟💓

      • Hey Karina! Love-ly to say hi to you!

        For the last five-six days or so, I’ve been experiencing something like a shard of glass…or like a thunderbolt of laser-light…pulsating off and on, on the right-sided edge of my right eye. It doesn’t matter whether I’m in a room that is lit or is dark…it still pulses off and on every 10 seconds or so, then abates for some hours, then resumes. I’d love to have it be this translucent ice-blue multicolor like this page’s background…but not currently! I’ve never had this happen before. Sometimes also, I “see” a little family of small benign creepy-crawlies walking up the kitchen and bathroom wall…but when I look, they’re not physically there. The fatigue and tiredness has been off the charts, and the pacing of life is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced…I can’t maintain any kind of predictable schedule to anything anymore, and everything that was yesterday really is leaving my energy fields. For me, the 7D photonic light that has been coming in always makes me feel that everything that is now unnecessary, is being “burned” away from me. It truly feels like burning.

        My love to you…and to Barb Koehler and Hope from “New Divine Father Masculine & the Capricorn Saturn Pluto Conjunction”…belated greetings to both of you! Hi Denise!

  • Awww! Today is my Birthday! This seems like a present to have a post here right now!! Comet Borisov that another HHL commentator mentioned some time ago, is the closest to the earth as it’s going to get today! I felt like that was a gift!! In honour of my having 3 planets in Capricorn, I decided to climb a nearby mountain today that I’d never heard of until yesterday. It has a crazy treeless landscape giving it an otherworldliness which was, as you may imagine, very appealing to me. On the way down, frogs were singing at the top of their lungs….a sign of awakening to me. While I observed, there was only ONE person who was able to get close to them while they were singing. Everyone else, they stopped, myself and my dog included. I naturally blamed my dog, haha! It was cool!! And I thought of all of you while I was standing there close to the cloudy blue sky, looking around for what seemed like forever and only a moment. Thanks for being here and for being there with me. 🙂

  • Thank God you wrote this Denise. Its always such a relief when I know others are feeling it too! I’ve been following you a long time. When you said you’ve had epic flurries of emotional releasing, it so resonated with me! The last 3 months have been hell for me. SO MUCH emotional releasing! Crying out of nowhere ALL THE TIME! I’ve heard a couple of people tell me that they don’t know anyone as sensitive as me, which lets me know they don’t get it. Hell, I don’t get it. I’ve felt that way too, can’t/won’t do this anymore. Sometimes I think my resistance to not wanting to purge anymore makes the purging worse, if that makes sense. Finally, today feels better. I cherish these days.

  • I hear you, Sister! Just the title alone SAYS IT ALL. While Christmas day and the days leading up to it were enchanted, no-time, spherical wonderfulness for me, the day AFTER was an entirely different story (eclipse shenanigans). It was like going from Heaven to Hell. AGAIN. While I (obviously) survived it, I have to say I’m sooooo done with the last gasps and last go’s. It’s beyond frustrating to get messages from on high that you’ve been “released from the underworld” and then still have to do one last tour of duty. NO MORE TOURS OF DUTY for me! AMEN!

    Interestingly, Sister, I got stuck in your article on the word “lower” in the 5th paragraph. For a moment there I just didn’t recognize the word at all and thought it was a typo! Even now it looks strange to me. Thought it was worth mentioning, because soon perhaps we won’t recognize the “lower” in ANYTHING at all.

    Thank you as always for your honesty and candor and humor!
    Much LOVE.

  • I’ve been energetically (and sometimes literally) pushing familymembers out of my aura for the past couple of days. Preferably out of my house. Urgent feeling of even more boundaries and getting thrown back to my core.
    I’m more fiery emotional than usual and lots of old issues coming up again, but on a deep deep level. Told my husband it felt like I ‘do’ 3 lives in 3 months and he agreed on that feeling.
    I’ve let go of the outcome of every relationship. So much emotional detox… I feel exhausted and it’s hard to get excited about anything. Not handy with Christmas and New Yrs eve and kids and husband at home for 2 weeks.
    And yet underneath it all there is a feeling of getting ready for a new (better fitting) phase.
    But also a whispering fear of not being able to cope with so much heavyness for many more months and so little people who seem to feel it too or I can share it with. Thank you for this post. Helps me not to loose it.

    • Hi Katja
      I feel you on the fear and not being able to share with many people. I keep thinking of that phrase “darkest before dawn”. 💜 to you

      • Thank you 🙂

        BTW had the weirdest thing happening last night while asleep I heard an older male voice calling my name. I was sleeping with ear plugs, but it sounded like I wasn’t wearing these and the person was next to my bed. It sure gave me a scare and I woke up and checked on my husband and kids (was it a warning signal??). Everyone was fine. Was it my deceased (sweet) father..?? Never experienced this before….

        • Katja,

          I’ve been clairaudient since early childhood so I’m very familiar with what you’ve experienced.

          Sometimes I wear earplugs too to block out the physical noise so I can sleep. They work well for physical sounds but they don’t do a thing for blocking out non-physical sounds, voices and whatever else we increasingly hear now. Simply said, what you “heard” was via clairaudient hearing. Welcome to the noisy, multidimensional evolutionary party Katja! 😀

          Another way I used to always suddenly hear non-physical sounds and voices etc. was when some noisy physical object was turned on. Things like the vacuum, the kitchen sink garbage disposal, leaf blowers, power tools etc. Anything that makes a lot of loud physical noise would instantly cause me to clairaudiently hear certain NON-physical sounds. Other times you just hear clairaudiently, even when you’re trying to not hear anything. Don’t be afraid of hearing non-physical sounds and voices and voices talking to each other and not necessarily to you. This is residual and you’re just hearing it but it’s not directed at you.

          Everyone should expect to hear, see, feel, sense and know in these higher frequency, higher consciousness ways from here on out. It’s part of the evolutionary AP. ❤

        • Thank you Denise.
          I was familiar with all the kinda sounds at night you discussed before ; stumbling, rumbling, (non existing) containers being moved; stuff like that. And always hearing more than others. But loudly calling out my name was new.
          Sleep is already a luxury and noises a nuisance so can’t say I’m looking forward to hearing more/more ‘clairs’ being turned on. The feeling one and the knowing one are quite enough to not get overwhelmed by.
          But that’s obviously not up to me, I’m not as much in control over things as I sometimes wish, as often being shown these last months . Other than working on keeping my frequency clean and high, and even though I used to be quite stable, it’s now a more a rollercoaster than a zen kinda situation.
          I guess there will be some benefits coming with the clairaudience.
          It’s good to know what you said: This is residual and you’re just hearing it but it’s not directed AT you.
          Thanks again

        • Hi Katja, Denise, All,
          Thanks for writing about and capturing the feeling of this time, Denise. I’m so “We done!!” right now.
          Clairaudience has always been there for me and has saved my bacon more than once. It is nothing to fear and can be very helpful. This morning I awoke to a Male voice saying very matter of factly: “End of Cycle 8…soar.” I looked at Wikipedia and sure enough the ancient Greeks had ‘Octaeteris’, a cycle of eight solar years, synchronized with Venus completing 13 solar years and conjuncting the moon, which it currently is within 2 degrees. If you look at twilight you can see it, quite lovely. I think we’re going into the ‘soaring twenties ‘ ; the big change-up is at hand.
          Love and Light,

  • Ditto, Denise, done. Lately I’ve been thinking about the drawing on your website(s) depicting the Light Warrior chained to and pulling Earth up the staircase. I’ve been seeing that Earth as Old Earth these days, the chain snapping, the Light Warrior not looking back, but hearing Old Earth bounce back down the staircase taking All of the Density, PP, Weight, ascension symptoms, etc., all of it with it… and the Light Warrior feels such Lightness, Freedom, Joy, JOB DONE, frequency UP the staircase to NEW Earth matched, and Mission Accomplished. I’m self-caring today for tomorrow’s, hopefully, last incoming for 2019, and focusing on where I want to BE, which is challenging for a Light Warrior when for decades we’ve been focusing pretty well solely on anchoring and getting Gaia up that staircase. Too tired to celebrate, which might be premature anyway, but optimism returns. Thank you! Love, B.

  • I couldn’t get past this line without commenting: “It’s not in my nature to throw faux verbal glitter on speed-bumps of pain and misery and then be thankful they sparkle.” Best. Sentence. EVER. omg, pure poetry in your honest humor! I just LOVE you. Okay….going to finish reading…

  • Wow Denise
    Me too. I am so done. It has been one of the loneliest strangest christmases to say the least. I finally realised that I have literally no one (other than my daughter) who I emotionally connect with any more. It has been like living in a dream where everyone else is going to a bright party but I am not. Today I sort of got the message that that’s ok. They have stuff to go through that I have passed through already. I am not on the same page as them. I just thought I had realised that already. And realised that I had still been hoping that I can make good with them. Because it is so lonely. But no. I haven’t cried so much for a long while, nor been so cold. It has been very surreal. I did wonder, in a lucid moment 😀if lots of “us” might feel like this. Thank you for your honesty.
    Big hug to you and everyone here. It’s almost 2020. Amazing !!
    Love and light xxxxxx

  • Thanks Denise for this. I have been dog sitting 5 dogs since Xmas Eve until tomorrow Dec. 29 (interesting timing). It has been physically and emotionally brutal so much so that I was on the verge a few times of panic attacks. Luckily I know that it will pass and it has somewhat. I decided today that my dog sitting days are over as are many things in my life.

    Much appreciation and Love/LOVE to you Denise for the encouragement and honesty! Hugs to All here, Badass Spiritual Warriors! Nancy ❤️❤️❤️❤️🎉❤️🎉❤️🎉

  • This has been one of the most challenging months for me. Physically and emotionally. Spent most of Christmas Day in bed with such pain in my neck and head, when I stood up, the sheer weight of my head made me nauseous. It passed later that afternoon. Then the emotional detox that followed the next day was cleansing. Time seems even more fluid. I have a feeling the 29th is going to be interesting too! Thanks for sharing your experiences. Much gratitude.

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