Why the Miserable Stuff?

I received an email from a reader asking me about this the other day and could totally relate to everything she has and still is going through. I’m sure many of you have also gone through this type thing, and most likely, more than once. I certainly have. I’m talking about those miserable, profoundly frustrating, painful, hurtful, unending situations with certain people who seem to be your personal harasser. A person or group of people who make you the “Bad Guy” and project all of their crap onto you because they refuse to take any responsibility for their actions. They’re the people who originally caused you much pain, misery, frustration, anger or fear in the first place, BUT they instantly turn the situation around and make you The Bad Guy. Clever how those type people do this so quickly and effortlessly isn’t it?

The question is…why? Why do these types of situations with certain people seem to go on and on for months and years sometimes? As with everything there’s multiple reasons, but this particular situation is often one many people encounter with all the other intense ascension related energies, symptoms, and ongoing changes.

In my case its been certain neighbors over the past many years. Doesn’t matter where I live, doesn’t matter who the neighbors are because it’s about energies, levels of development, levels of awareness, and people not yet living the ascension process being or living  in close proximity to some who are! They exist within a very different reality and energy state than I do, and therein lies the big irritant.

Whatever or whomever your personal harasser is and is doing to you, in the majority of cases it’s your Big Gift all wrapped up in misery and tied with brightly colored bows of frustration! In other words, it is a pain in your ass/heart/being that is literally forcing YOU to grow, learn, change, and understand things at an even higher level. In most cases within the old lower polarized 3D world, humanity needs a Bad Guy or a bunch of them to play that part to get YOU and ME to become so tired of the suppression’s, the lies, the abuses, the misery etc., that WE finally change. This is how it’s worked in the old lower polarized world reality.  From our perspective this is about US and not them, the person or people playing the Bad Guy roles in your life at this time. Harsh I know, but it’s what I’ve learned from going through this repeatedly over many years now.

In my case, the horrid neighbors have forced me to learn how to create (and exist) from a very different place within myself. They’ve forced me to learn to remain within the Eye of the Storm where it’s calm and normal, despite the fact that they are highly addicted and adapted to their lower vibrating lives and consciousness within the outer edges of the “falling”, raging Storm.  Remember how I’m always using the metaphor of stair steps to describe how everyone is energetically standing on different steps or levels within the ongoing ascension process? Well, these irrigating problems usually occur when there’s just way too many stair steps in between two (or more) people. The difference in energies and consciousness and in personal vibrations creates a huge gap in everything and that is what causes the big problems. You are currently evolving, growing, ascending and changing at a faster pace than that other person or group of people (such as your husband/wife, blood family, in-laws, lovers, neighbors, doctors, mailman or whoever) and that causes the misery. It’s like oil and water and how they don’t mix; one ingredient simply floats up to the surface.

So if you’ve got someone, or a bunch of someones in your life now that are making your life a living hell on Earth, understand that it’s a thrust block for YOU to get yourself out of the situation in some way – physically, emotionally, intellectually, the ego self, psychically, energetically. It’s about YOU…not HIM/HER/THEM. I know how harsh sounding that is, yet it’s what I’ve personally learned over and over. The quicker you can discern about yourself and what you’re supposed to be understanding and doing about YOUR current situation, the sooner YOU (and him/her/them) will feel better. Make the changes that YOU must now as you vibrationally take one or more steps up those energy/consciousness ascension stair steps. As we do this we must leave certain old past lower things in ourselves (chipping away chunks of our ego selves and belief systems that went with it) and our lives behind because, just like the oil and water, they don’t mix! Lower/higher don’t mix so move on and save yourself and him/her/them more misery.

As I’m writing this now my neighbors are standing about 6 feet away from me outside talking loudly about things that to me are ridiculous and infantile…but that’s just MY perspective and obviously not THEIRS. I know it’s going to go on for many hours and I was going to work more on my new book today. Let’s see how well I can remain in the Eye of the Storm while my self-absorbed neighbors carry on about stupid crap (my opinion) only a few feet away from my house. Use your personal harassers, your duality thrust blocks to propel off from and grow, learn, discover and move beyond your old ego self. Jump up four or five energetic stair steps because that’s what this business is really all about.

Denise Lay

July 2, 2009


Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS & HighHeartLife, 2009. All Rights Reserved. 

3 thoughts on “Why the Miserable Stuff?

  • Well said Robin,

    I have done a lot of cleansing and clearing because of such miserable experiences. There were times when I realized they mirrored the nasty thing I detest so much within me. And then… there came enough times when I learn to love that very part of me so much… that the people are no longer there anymore.

    Nowadays I’d find myself saying: “Hey… where’s so and so… what is she/he doing now… where are they and I wonder what became of him/her?” I try to chase after them thinking I’m being anti-social… but it’s not coming natural to me. Even my own family to whom I give a lot of my issues with… have not much power over me as they usually did in the past. Now I sense of this loving energy that wants only blessings for them—compassion? O well…

    This “dreading energy” right now is teaching me to be still and present. It’s dawning on me to this truth: What if my whole life I never lived… because I was in hiding from this very fear.

    Don’t want to be too attached to what’s up ahead but … it’s a deep process right now all on its own.

    Hugs and kisses,
    Lou Ann

  • Nicely said and presented, Denise.

    I think some or many of these types of people are threatened on some level, perhaps innately so at the thoughts of what we mirror to them as far as being uniquely ourselves and more capable or willing in embodying all that we do. IMO, these types of scenarios often resemble an adult version of being the kid who is different in school and not part of the so-called lemming (as in rodent) mentality, which usually garners a variety of bullying, ridicule and hassling at least from the most miserable of the bunch. Granted, much of these exchanges are not thought out and planned on the other imbecile’s part – that would be giving most if not all of them way too much credit, although granted it often seems that way, doesn’t it?

    With experience, I have found that there are a multitude of ways in which to deal with some of these unwelcomed intrusions. The primary one being that they (the people and the circumstances) can reflect parts of ourselves, in the context of what the toltec refer to as a smoking mirror. They are presenting us with disowned aspects of our own selves that are out of alignment with where we are intending to go or what we wish to become. They are there to show or remind us of people from our earlier years, such as siblings or parents, who so unbelievably got under our skins, that we made a pact with ourselves to NEVER act or behave that way ever, when in reality, and in the light of duality, we all have those aspects or tendencies within – doesn’t mean that we act on them, but as humans, we all contain the emotion within us. And the more we deny that or continue to keep that pact to never, ever embody that way of being or acting, the more apt we often are to magnetically attract it until we look at it, work with it, and ultimately embrace and accept it. Once we get to work, the situation or people most often either dissolve from our lives or our spaces b/c there is no need anymore to witness what they are there to do and embody for us.


    • Robin,

      Very true and beautifully said, thank you. 🙂 I’d not heard of the “smoking mirror” before but the term alone is brilliant.

      Yes it’s those things, traits, people that really get to us in ways that only they can, that are our huge glowing neon signs telling us exactly what WE need to hear, see, feel etc. Otherwise, like you said, they would be a non-issue! The mirror would be empty.


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