My Hatchet Man Nightmares

I had a series of really horrible nightmares from early childhood all the way through to my Uranus Opposition (1991-1994), which we all go through from age 39–42 or 43. This recurring theme-dream of a very dark, scary, vengeful male stranger chasing me with a hatchet and killing everyone in his path wasn’t fully resolved by myself until I was about forty-two years old. That’s a long-damned time to have some deep inner issue chasing your backside through the astral planes. How long and hard we run from the very things that would actually free us.

As a young child this recurring nightmare started with this unknown man chasing me with a hatchet, and if I ran to my parents, neighbors or friends, he just killed all of them. So soon there was guilt added to this very scary repeating theme nightmare. Over the years it was always the same, unknown hatchet man chasing me all over the place and killing anyone in his way that I led him to while running from him. He was always very close behind me but never got close enough to directly hurt me.

Then the extremely potent, once-in-a-lifetime Uranus Opposition transit to my natal Uranus arrived at age 39 and this lifelong issue in me HAD to be faced and finally and fully resolved. Was I consciously aware of any of this at the time? Of course not. The dreams started up again with the same scary and very angry hatchet man, but now I was finally getting really tired of running from him. So instead of my decades long constant running away from him, I stopped and turned to face my Monster Man for the first time in my life. He didn’t know what to do when I did this, which I found astonishing. He was as habituated to chasing me as I was of running from him all of my life up to the start of my Uranus Opposition at age 39 in 1991.

Over a period of three years during my Uranus Opposition transit, I finally stopped running in these repeated theme nightmares, turned and faced HIM and we tried to come up with solutions that worked for both of us. That is a lot of what the Uranus Opposition transit does, or rather forces people to do, and we should be profoundly grateful for it.

I was shocked and very confused however about why He was so angry with me. During those three years of dreams, nightmares and highly concentrated personal Inner Work, I discovered that my scary Hatchet Man chasing nightmares were really about a rejected, abandoned, projected, unaccepted and unloved male aspect of MYSELF and how He had been trying to return Home to me since my early childhood in this incarnation. I was shocked, saddened and humbled when I discovered this truth halfway through my intense and profound Uranus Opposition dream plane integration and resolution Inner Work. My Evolutionary Ascension Process started in 1991 when I turned 39 and the Uranus Opposition transit began and took place in the etheric level and layer of myself. I had many years of very intense Inner Work that I HAD to do etherically, in and through dreamtime in my etheric body BEFORE the physical level of my personal Ascension Process would start physically, in my physical body in the future in February 1999. Always incremental energetic stairsteps.

Eventually I had another dream during this three-year period where I told him he could, and get this symbolism, “Live in my basement for now,” which he joyfully and instantly accepted and moved right into “my basement”. At that point of this resolution and integration process, this was all I could cope with emotionally, letting HIM back into ME in small, safe steps without freaking out or running away in terror again. It took me nearly three full years during my Uranus Opposition to become able to completely re-absorb this very angry rejected male aspect of myself who had been chasing me since about age nine in dreams.

The next step in this inner alchemical dream plane process was another dream where I found myself in a kitchen with about 8 or 9 neighbors, males and females, and none of them were happy about the crazy hatchet man who’d moved into MY basement! They were in fear ‘for the whole neighborhood.’ Amazing because all of the “neighbors” and the “neighborhood” was actually just other aspects of ME. Because this primary version of me (Denise) had accepted HIM back into myself, that old fear, projection and dis-connection was now spread out to other aspects of me who suddenly feared that the Hatchet Man would somehow now get them. See how our inner issues are dealt with by many aspects of ourselves when it’s too terrifying or difficult to be dealt with directly? In so many cases the different characters in our dreams are really all different aspects of us playing different roles for us.

In this one kitchen dream I told all of my “neighbors” that the crazy murderous Hatchet Man was not going to run wild and loose anymore because I’d let him back into my basement to live. In other words, they were all safe and didn’t need to worry about him because I’d finally accepted him and allowed HIM to be reintegrated back into ME. End of that dream.

The next dream a few months later was the very last one I had with my enraged, murderous Hatchet Man. In it he and I talked face-to-face in the light of day, and I told him I was finally ready to let him ‘Move up from my basement and now live in my Heart.’ At hearing that he smiled at me and instantly and permanently disappeared. I reabsorbed HIM into my Heart without any fear and that act caused me to become much more of ME. End of 35-yearlong nightmare chasing and fleeing dreams with my Hatchet Man.

Damn.

One simply must have all of the rejected, projected, dark, feared, hated, evil, unloved and unaccepted aspects of themselves totally discharged emotionally and fully RE-integrated to be able to move vibrationally (ascend) to higher, integrated, neutral and less dense levels of being and consciousness. Believe me, it’s far more exhausting and frightening running than it is to just stop and embrace whatever that needs to come Home and be LOVED again within each of us by each of us. This is another huge aspect of the Evolutionary Ascension Process many individuals have, are, and will be repeatedly living through. Fear not, just do it, and the sooner the better for all aspects of you.

This brings us up to 2009 when the planet has entered the phase of integrating its age-old projected, unloved, unaccepted, rejected aspects or symbolic “Hatchet Man” energies. It’s time for real consciousness change and it’s going to happen in very different, sudden and dramatic ways now than what the masses believe or expect. It is compressed spiritual species and planetary evolution time. Get ready for the big ride now, not later, and if you honestly desire a HighHeart way of living and being, then you too will easily survive the 2009 Storms of Change. Again, fear not, just finally do it for Self and All.

Denise Le Fay

January 9, 2009

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