Please… Is April 2013 Over Yet?!

763x800 journey Is it just me or was April 2013 an unusually horrid month that just went on and on and on and on…?  My gawd it’s been unbelievable in both highly positive ways and highly miserable ways throughout April. This simultaneous building of polarized extremes has always been freakishly interesting and frustrating to me during these amplified Ascension years, but in April 2013, it’s been extreme and very trying at times. Things have been both intensely positive and simultaneously negative since the first Equinox (March 2013) energies came in post 12-21-12, which I sense is “normal” for what’s happening until the different multiple worlds and timelines rip apart from each other and go their separate ways later this year.

And who knows, maybe April 2013 was preparation for May 2013, I suspect it was and I suspect once we’re in May we’ll be glad for all we experienced and had to deal with throughout the Twilight Zone-like month of April! But it still amazes me (and it certainly should not at this point) how large the consciousness gaps between people has become and how trying and oftentimes downright difficult it is for most everyone when forced to interact and communicate with someone whose barely within range of being in the same species group as you! The rubber bands are stretched about as far as they can be now and we’ve still got five more months of this before they break free of each other. Get your Zen on and keep it on because this is some crazy weird shit” we’re dealing with!

About every three months now my personal range of who I consciously know myself to be expands a bit more; plateaus for 2–3 months which gives me time to adapt; then it expands a bit more and so on. This is of course wonderful and exciting but honestly, kinda weird too because The Whole Picture expands and shifts a bit more every time this happens. It’s always good to intellectually know something, but it’s an entirely different situation when you actually embody it, whatever “it” is at that time. For me “it” has been about consciously integrating more and more of who I am at quantum and multidimensional levels of being into this Denise awareness, body and timeline.

It’s much like attending a rare physical Family Reunion and meeting your distant relatives that you’ve never met before and/or didn’t even know existed. I’ve been Seeing, perceiving and communicating with other aspects of me/Me/ME that exist in the divine quantum “Now Moment” and some of them are rather amazing. Please don’t misunderstand me here because each and every one of you reading this have these same connections to the other amazing aspects of you/You/YOU as I do—as we all do.

Now that we’re post 12-21-12, it’s time for many of us at the Forefront to start consciously knowing more about ourselves and our extended multidimensional Spiritual Families, and/or Soul Group(s), and/or Star Families etc. and our ever-evolving spiritual Work with each of them and consciously embodying more of these different aspects into this life, consciousness and body.  Said very simply—I’m incrementally (those Stair Steps) “ascending” as more aspects of my Higher Self “descend” incrementally allowing us to meet/merge in this new, higher frequency space. This is all still an ongoing Ascension Process and I’m just reporting on the latest tidbits I’m experiencing and better understanding at this moment.

I know it’s not time quite yet for me to publicly share all of what I’ve been experiencing personally over the past seven months about this but I will when it’s correct to do so. ♥ But know that many of us Forerunners are in the Process of incrementally consciously embodying more and more of our Higher Selves into these bodies/lives/consciousness/personalities/timeline etc., which is as I said before wonderful, but it naturally causes repeated expansions and shifts in my/your/our consciousness which makes it (momentarily at least) a bit difficult to interact and communicate with the people who are not doing this now, or yet, or simply not doing it at all.

566x800 terrorface

Because not everyone is focused on the same thing(s) or at the same level of awareness or development, there are a bunch of people who are being used, manipulated and directed to mess with those of us who are incrementally embodying more and more of our Higher Selves into our body/being/awareness/lives now. Any person or group of people who are perceived to be a threat to Team Dark are attacked in different ways, and at this point it’s usually through certain humans. In my case, since 2000 it’s been mainly through certain neighbors because I’m at home the majority of the time and don’t “socialize”. So when I’m doing what I do as a Lightworker/Starseed/Creator Being etc., Team Dark directs some human(s) that vibrates within the frequency range they currently do to buy or rent a house as physically close to me as they can to interfere with me, try to derail me or attack me, which is the negative ‘Smash and Grab’ tactic we’ve discussed in other articles.

Having said all that, I also know from many years of personal hand-to-hand combat with Team Dark (nonhuman, nonphysical beings and the physical humans too) that every time I/you/we experience another big upsurge in negative individual attacks and/or larger collective ‘Smash and Grab’ attempts that it means we’re about to make another big positive shift forward and that’s why these last-minute negative tactics by Team Dark.

Another VERY important aspect of these negative Team Dark ‘Smash and Grab’ attacks on us individually and collectively now are actually VERY positive. Don’t forget that we’re still within the profoundly important Nine Months period which is—believe it or not after all many of us have been working on internally for over twenty years—a grace period, an extension period of our Life Review that happened at a quantum level at some time during the ‘Three Days of Darkness’ of 12-21-12, 12-22-12, 12-23-12. Because so many still needed a bit more “time” within physicality to consciously connect more of our old inner issues—wounds, fears etc. and transmute, integrate and neutralize them—we were given these profoundly valuable and important Nine Months (from 12-21-12) to continue our individual Life Reviews to get ourselves more clear energetically and neutral before the time do such extensive Inner Work winds down from the intense level it’s been at for so many years. So, despite whatever you have gone through since 12-21-12 and certainly since 3-20-13 looking and feeling and actually being genuine attacks from the Negatives/Team Dark, understand that they also are at higher levels the means for me/you/each of us to fully resolve, transmute, consciously realize and understand whatever it is that me/you/each of us needs to during this Nine Month extension period.

So yes, they are ugly, nasty, stupid, repulsive etc. ‘Smash and Grab’ attacks upon many of us individually, and/or collectively, BUT at higher levels they are our individual Gifts to get ourselves free and clear enough to embody more, much more! Use the negative attacks to heal yourself; to transcend it all; to transmute, understand, and know so much more. Use the negative crap and attacks etc. at higher levels to literally propel yourself right out of Duality and Duality consciousness. Don’t make the mistake of believing that the unpleasant negative crap and attacks that have been happening in your life since 12-21-12 are only about whoever or whatever it is that’s causing you pain and/or frustrations because it is not. At lower levels it is a hand-to-hand combat situation, but at higher levels it’s really our personal ticket to freedom and empowerment so USE the miserable shit n’ crap n’ junk n’ idiots that at first glance looks, sounds, and feels like it’s something else entirely. It’s Initiatic, so take advantage of the “tests” popping up on your Path to get yourself where you need to be during this Life Review extension period and beyond.

If you too have experienced amazingly positive, uplifting, soul satisfying inner growth and conscious re-connections with some of the higher aspects of yourself and your extended Spiritual Family or Soul Group — AND have also been experiencing being attacked again by some unaware dumbass human(s) on autopilot being controlled by lower frequency ego, emotions, awareness and nonphysical Team Dark beings — then know that this means we’re making tremendous progress and some really great stuff is about to manifest because of it. There’s more to come but we’re “golden”… even when we forget that fact. ♥

Denise Le Fay

April 30, 2013

Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS & HighHeartLife, 2013. All Rights Reserved. 

72 thoughts on “Please… Is April 2013 Over Yet?!

  • It’s now May 30th, 2013 and 3:21 am because I can’t sleep of course…. and for some reason my actions and intuition lead me here to see what’s going on with everyone else and its scary (in a strange kind of way that’s welcomed!) YET SO UPLIFTING that I just read basically WORD FOR WORD exactly what I’ve been going they since around March 20, 2013, its been especially rough…. I do admit I’ who has reverted and its been killing me slowly every day since…. so this experience just now brought me back!! I will never let go again… Here’s to more hard work for an even greater reward!!!

    One more comment…. I LOVE YOU DENISE!!! I’ve felt alone, secluded and “different” my whole 26 years of existence yet I still managed to remain ME and when I found YOU and your site, it gave me so much strength and just reassured me to never give up! LOVE CONQUERS ALL

    • Diana Busch,

      This Second Trimester of the Nine Months period has been brutal for me too. I’ve been dealing with the NEW incoming energies since April and on into May and they’ve been extremely intense. And simultaneously of course, is “life” and all the other people etc. happening around you and typically it’s usually at a very different level than what I/you/each of us are right now, which makes this Ascension Process/Ascension of Consciousness Process more trying and at times downright difficult, highly frustrating, and painful on many levels. Oh well… business as usual, let’s complete this stage and move on into the next stage. 😀

      I hope to have an article about The Second Trimester written and published soon which will cover what’s been unfolding and why and more. Hang in there everyone.


  • Denise and all, I too have been struggling with team dark. As of late I have been overwhelmed with feelings of anger, sorrow along with a strong sense of hoplessness. I ususally never feel hopeless no matter how bad things get. I see so much angry hurtful things being done to myself and those I love and this has been going on for months, even years to the point I have lost hope in the unversal law of cause and effect. Does that law even exist anymore? Will justice ever come to those who deserve it? April was a crazy month for me. I saw more visions and symbols in that month than I have all years. May started out with crazy angry dark dreams of murder and death. It truly is a crescendo of light and dark. I would appreciate anyones insight on what is going on with cause and effect.
    Light and love to all.

  • Hi, Denise, I’ve been experiencing lots of psychic attacks and panic attacks lately; finally had a breakthrough in my understanding about this today, and wrote about it here: –hope you don’t feel this link is out of place? I thought it might be of service to others? You will know better than I. With thanks for all you do, Alice

    • Its very happening! Lol.. is it just me or are my ideas being hijacked?! I swear everytime i have an idea think about starting something…i hear about it somewhere…what is that????


      • enita,
        I’m sitting here laughing because this started happening to me in Jan. 2013.
        At first I didn’t pay too much attention, I just made mental notes of it. Then it
        began to be a pattern and trend and then I began questioning it. I thought
        maybe I had started leaking on some level and or became so transparent that
        everyone was reading me like an open book ! Then I became angry with a
        twinge of paranoia lol ! Something I am not! (paranoid).

        I then began reading various blogs that people were writing, saying that
        this was happening to them too. Some called it…’synchronicity’… some called
        it the ability to tap into the ‘collective consciousness’ and some said the veils
        were lifting and a new transparency was happening.

        I found it quite unnerving in the beginning but then I began to slowly get used to it.
        I don’t know what it really is and I have no formal word for it. Maybe Denise can
        explain it better than I can.

        But just know, that you aren’t alone in this weird experience. I go through it, and
        apparently a lot of other people do too. It’s not as apparent as it was back in
        Jan-March…..for me. But I’m sure it’ll be back.

        They say that at some point we all will have the capacity for ‘telepathy’ once
        again….and new means of communicating with one another. Maybe this is
        the beginning of that process?… sure is new territory for me ! lol
        Shine Bright

      • “Its very happening! Lol.. is it just me or are my ideas being hijacked?! I swear everytime i have an idea think about starting something…i hear about it somewhere…what is that???? “

        Enita & All,

        It is you, and a whole bunch of other people, evolving out of what’s been accepted as “normal” consciousness of being isolated from everyone else energetically, psychically, mentally, emotionally etc. As more and more people evolve out of Duality frequency and its matching Duality consciousness, those people are and will continue to increasingly become more consciously aware of the fact that they are connected to other people on all of these levels and in the “Now Moment”.

        Many years ago when I first started writing online, I’d write something stating such and such and within hours or a day or two Karen Bishop would write the identical information… and vice versa of course. This has happened repeatedly over the years with more and more of the other Ascension and Spiritual Teachers who write and myself and what I write about and vice versa. It’s the WHY of this that’s important and telling. 😉

        When one person is capable of perceiving higher frequency Light — which is like a code word for more knowledge, more information etc.– then they will perceive it at the same moment that all other people do who are also capable of perceiving higher frequency Light. This is why so many Ascension Teachers will suddenly and in a great cluster all write about the same thing or things that are happening or about to happen; they’ve all perceived the same Light energies at the same quantum “Now Moment” and then physically write about it in linear time. Even at that we usually all have new writings published on our websites and blog sites within minutes or hours or a day or two.

        This same ability is happening to more and more people as they too evolve and expand out of Duality, and into higher frequency 5D, which is very consciously connected with like-others so the whole GROUP of people all feel, sense, know, and perceive the same things at the same time. This seeming anomaly is actually one of the “normal” frequencies of the fifth dimension. And if you know Astrology, then Aquarius — the GROUP — and its opposite sign and energies of Leo — High Heart Creative INDIVIDUAL — takes on a very different meaning at a 5D level. 😀


  • Hi there,

    Like everyone else here I want to confirm April as the most horrible month. We finally have sunshine and summer weather the last two days and the light has lifted and nurtured me, but I have been hit every way possible: financially; work changes, layoffs/uncertainties and offshoring; people: some really rude–just beyond rude and others smacking into me constantly because they don’t see me; screw ups on electronics, transactions, phone calls being disconnected; huge noise issues outside and renos inside–construction, plumbing problems, relationships ending suddenly–LOTS of stuff on every level including programmed dreams to scare me. F-off already or at least send in an original “bad dream scenario”–you guys have really bad writers.
    I have been practicing conscious breathwork as a new tool in my box–rebirthing, it’s helping, can do it now on my own anytime. In addition to the 12D platinum shielding, I have been doing Cameron’s morning, afternoon and bedtime clearing meditations from ascension help site and he also has some good articles/techniques on rounding up those “ankle biters”. I find the visual of doing the breathing and expanding my own inner divine light and then merging it with the HS light just above really calms me and reaffirms what I know in my head. It is very comforting. Whatever is NOT experiential and doesn’t WORK RIGHT NOW because I can feel it, I have absolutely no time for –since they’ve up’ped the ante lately. I am still reeling but I can say it has made me much more disciplined in my daily practices so I can function.
    Let’s intend our invincibility and unity and hold the line–we must be making huge progress if they are this rabid. Much love to you all.


  • Hello, Denise and all here,

    I concur with everybody! April was absolute hell for me– actually starting after March 20th. I had a run in with the immature girls downstairs and got angry and lost my cool and now they treat me like I’m the bogeyman and run away when they see me! I must be scary when I’m mad! At least I can laugh about it now. I’ve had this continuing injury (2 and a half months now) which has curtailed my movement and doing what I love (dance) and has been incredibly frustrating and painful. My family has stepped up their campaign to have me rejoin the fold so they can control and attack me at will. That one was getting to me as my mother is very ill– dying, actually– and has never been a mother to me and I’m fighting that tender hope to have a mother hold you in love for once in your life with the reality that she doesn’t love me. And the one sister I got along with and who I had hope for in the ascension process is now backsliding and getting all religious and starting to play the backbiting games of yore. So there goes the family. I wish I could say I had the high highs amid the low lows, but no, it was just plain old misery for me. I was low and dealing with lower emotions towards my neighbors and family that I got stuck in.

    And, hey, we had (is it over yet?) the longest winter ever here– six and a half months. It came early and stayed late and we had some snow this week, so I’m afraid to say it’s spring yet. Sigh.

    May is starting out much better. I’ve been putting up a cocoon of light around my building and it is starting to make everything feel better here. The immaturity will be moving out soon and that is welcome. Yeah, the neighbor thing is rampant with us it seems– they can’t get to us because we’re so dedicated to being here and often solitary, so they find idiots to bark at us and bite at our heels when we turn our backs. (Sorry to all dogs out there. 🙂 ) And my mood is so much lighter– so much so that I’m seeing the humor in me scaring the wits out of the neighbors. hehehe With the family, well, that’s a complete loss at present and I’m just letting myself feel the sadness about my lack of a mother and the longing for one and then letting it go. I’m getting better at it. You guys here and what you’ve written has helped enormously. I’m scrubbing that pan. Over and over again. Isn’t it clean yet? I’m feeling that I will be on track soon and feeling much more like I’m part of the ascension process again.

    Oh, yeah, and I had a dream the other night (going into May 1st) that was quite an adventure but, in the middle of it all, there was a very handsome man standing calmly by a bunk bed waiting (he was naked, by the way) and I glanced at him and he had the most striking blue eyes and he was one of those figures you know is one of your friends in all this. I guess he didn’t see the need for clothes?

    Love and hugs to you all and we will get through this,
    a very cheerful Cat this morning

  • I love this article, however I must confront some of my most awful feelings about the subject of the dark forces, illuminati, ritual abuse, mind-programming. i know it could appear a blessing in disguise, but think of all the people, Like I have had been trapped in the “matrix” of the evil, because of serious implants, and attachments on myself. for the ones that aren’t conscious, even while i knew something was severely disgusting, the mind- control is form of torture. I hate to be negative, I know that seems to be important to progress, and be conscious, but most people are not conscious and they cannot be, and that could be the result of a full possession dark et, demonic presence, etc. I think there is much to thought on the matter, and I have had literal entity attacks for years, and it repulsive how severe, and how gross and why I took it because i couldn’t even have be a part of my own soul, which is a very sad life, and even simply for speaking my peace about all of this, because I am still in the throws of evil, implants, mind-control, gangstalking targeting etc are constant, preventing me from voicing expressing my sincere concern for myself and for everyone. I think it should be important, for these types of topics to be talked about, and I thank you Denise for elaborating on the fact of how entirely dangerous these situations can, be, but also at a neutral standing, it should be pointed out that there has to be a God, higher power orchestrating, but I cannot to regret to sympathize and fear that it would never fail to end, these malicious attacks, that have tried to control, and keep me fearing my own breath. I am also happy that April is over, and the shifts are helping and bringing the mother earth to life.

  • Oh my goodness… Denise, I cannot but applaud you in awe – just how you manage to stay so calm and patient with people who still go on about “there’s no team dark”, geesh, that some folks still repeat that line. Ok, yes, stair steps… but honestly. THANK YOU for talking about the gritty truth of what we’re going through here, even in the face of having to receive those kind of comments. You sure do have headwind all the way. Just wanted to pipe up and say, you’re AMAZING.
    Btw, I recently read that the notion and idea of “the whole outside world reflecting one’s inner state of being” is based on this incredible illusion that a single person could simply be the Centre of the Universe. How screwed is that! I’m really at the point of needing a huge rant about this, I have no graciousness left in me any longer to take that sh… rubbish from those who claim “Oh, if you just think happy thoughts, the whole world around you responds happily!” Truly, what planet are these people on! So good on you, Denise for wishing them happy trails in such a considered manner. Love you for it.
    As to April… yes, you nailed it, of course. I haven’t even needed to leave the house nor meet anyone, and still the “work” finds me. I do appreciate all the positive that comes with it, hugely love the ongoing and increasing multi-dimensional understanding and Higher Me’s that you write about. It is wonderful. Just struggling with all the painful rest 😀 It is so incredibly refreshing to read your beautifully and truthfully worded description of April – Every. Word. Resonates.
    Deep heartfelt gratitude ❤ ❤ ❤

  • One question I have is, whatever happened to the “law of attraction” principle, which (as I understand it) means that we attract to ourselves people and circumstances that are in resonance with what we are putting out there? So if everybody is being “attacked” so much, what kind of “attack” thoughts are you all putting out? Quit focusing on this “Team Dark” and focus on Team Light; there is no Team Dark except what we give credence to in our minds and vibrations. Using Team Dark as an excuse for the crap in our lives is just that- an excuse. We are the only ones responsible for what takes place in our life- own it, people!

    • “One question I have is, whatever happened to the “law of attraction” principle, which (as I understand it) means that we attract to ourselves people and circumstances that are in resonance with what we are putting out there? So if everybody is being “attacked” so much, what kind of “attack” thoughts are you all putting out? Quit focusing on this “Team Dark” and focus on Team Light; there is no Team Dark except what we give credence to in our minds and vibrations. Using Team Dark as an excuse for the crap in our lives is just that- an excuse. We are the only ones responsible for what takes place in our life- own it, people!”


      In a world of DUALITY, which the world we all incarnated into was/is, not only does the ‘law of attraction’ apply and is something people learn about eventually, but so too is the law that ‘opposites attract’. 😮 Again, we have lived and still do live within a world that exists within the frequency of DUALITY. Duality means polarized, separated, two, opposites etc. You’re not stupid, you know this, but what you don’t know based on what you’ve said is that Team Light — of which I am a member as are many of my readers and people who Comment — often experienced complex attacks and other multidimensional encounters etc. with the opposite or polarized or Duality of Team Dark/the Negatives. In a world that has been totally controlled by the Negatives/Team Dark for thousands of year, when Team Light members intentionally came in here (I shouldn’t even have to say this), they came under repeated and direct attacks by the Negatives/Team Dark in an attempt to prevent them/me/us from helping humanity wake up and energetically evolve out from under their complete dominance and control.

      In the end I don’t care what you believe or think or are aware of. It’s your life and your future lives. People that perpetuate the guilt trip BS tactic and negative lie that ‘there is no Team Dark’ in a world that’s been negatively polarized and controlled for thousands of years that you’ve tried to push off on me, won’t work here or on me or my readers. Based on what you’ve said, you have no idea what’s really been going on, whose involved, who are the good guys, who are the bad guys, and what the good guys have been ‘owning’ and transmuting within ourselves for years and decades and lifetimes, plus also transmuting the profound negativity that’s been created by other people, strangers, across time on earth and also in other dimensions. Negative, dark, evil things like wars, murders, rapes, tortures and other assorted horrific actions not done by any of us. Try “owning” that. We Team Light have been for years and years.

      ‘…focus on Team Light…’

      My god I am Team Light, most of my readers are Team Light!

      I understand that you and many other people don’t have a clue about these things and normally I just let this type of negative, insulting, unaware, preaching egoic crap slide on by… but not today. Happy trails Karen, you just got yourself banned. I won’t publish another of your Comments so don’t bother.


      • Lmao BUUUUURN! That’s all I’m gonna say. Cause I’m on my iPod and it’s hard to type on this shiz. But I mean come on how. Blind can you be you know (not you, you her you). Can we change our name to like idk the galactic league of justice seeking avengers or something?

        • One day they’ll make a movie about our heroic adventures and we shall be known throughout the cosmos!!!! We’re so gonna be famous lol. Well more famous (I hear earth is a pretty happening spot right now lol) GO US!!!

      • OH Denise can I hug you??? <> !!!
        Your response to Karen was beyond excellent ! One thing I’d like to add is what Karen neglects to realize; is that the dark is attracted to the light and that’s possibly what you exactly meant by “opposites” attract?

        I’m so fed up with these la-la types that refuse to acknowledge the dark and throw all the responsibility on the individual as some sort of ‘guilt’ trip when they have no clue how things are really set up and run here ! To me this is just another way people get used by team dark to keep others in a ‘shame’, ‘guilt’ and in an overly “responsible” trip ! Like oh I must be dark myself or a bad person for being attacked by the dark and attracting them in the first place syndrome. Bull ! And thank you for not allowing this dark syndrome ( of ignorance and denial) to self-perpetuate here on your blog !!!

        Karen isn’t such an expert in the principles of the “Law of Attraction” or she just skipped the chapter on what they teach about “Contrast” ( another term for ‘duality’) .
        Maybe she needs to repeat Law of Attraction 101 and not skip any chapters this time…. lol

        Kudos to you !
        Big Big Hugs

        • Pat,

          🙂 High Heart Hugs Pat for correctly understanding all sides of this issue.

          As long as we who know better continue enabling the lies and distortions created by Team Dark/the Negatives to be perpetuated by the Karen’s of the world, we’re not doing anyone any favors, especially now that humanity has passed the Expiration Date (12-21-12) of Team Dark running the show on the old earth and totally controlling humanity. People who’ve been duped like the many Karen’s of the world just might find themselves still living in a world where Team Dark continues running that show (‘Planet B’), because they haven’t awakened enough yet to recognize or discern the lies and decide to take personal responsibility. It’s all a frequency/consciousness thing for each of us.

          ♥ Hugs,

  • I have been ‘weak’ guys. Weak enough that I stopped checking this blog for a while, but I felt like viewing it again after it showed up in my inbox.

    To summarize last month, I created a blog where I talked about my spiritual thoughts, feelings and so forth. I also started talking in detail about any psychic attacks which occurred to me.

    After a while I started getting really bad attacks, it got worse and worse, last Friday I snapped and thought ‘this can’t go on I can’t cope’, and deleted my whole blog, along with my posts. I did it because I hoped the psychic attacks would lessen. (they did lessen, haven’t occurred since then…)

    The feeling I get is that this is acceptable because I am still working on myself…but I do feel a hint of shame about all this. Imagine feeling uneasy, as if dark creepy intimidating bullies are watching you for hours (most days), while setting up plans to deliberately piss you off, break your concentration and just make ‘everything go wrong’. I was accepting this for a while but when it started to happen every day I just gave up, I thought ‘I can’t be dealing with this indefinitely’.

    So anyway I ended up back on here so hello everyone! I’ve just made a personal choice not to post any details about those dark things, or write any blog or anything. There is a world of difference between ‘beneficial’ attack and ‘bullying’, whereby the latter just seems to be endless sometimes ‘brutal harassment’, where you lose faith in everyone because all humans around you can be twisted to ‘harm’ you or say cruel things, and there is no escape, no safe place to rest.

    I’ll still be working hard on resolving my own problems but Jesus, last month was a nightmare.

    Hope you are all doing well.


    • Dearest Starlight,

      Try your best not to be so hard on yourself. Everything we’re going through now has to do with releasing. Think of it as cleaning a huge soup pot that has been dried out/gunked up for years. Most of the “stuff” is already gone, but now we’re working on those last residual bits on the side and bottom. You scrub and scrub and think you’re done, only to see little bits left when you rinse water over it, so you have to scrub at it again. We’re scrubbing out as much of the gunk as possible to get to a higher/purer level (as I understand it for myself).

      Just now I’m taking a break from an overwhelming flurry of papers that are around me, from filing them where they’re stored, to figuring out what to let go of. And in there some point in time memories/feelings came up. They’re not as potent as they used to be, and I can tell the difference. Still, it’s important to know that we need to keep picking at this stuff that comes up. Not analyze it to death, only to recognize that a deeper level or layer is being presented, and to recognize that you don’t have to hold it anymore, and let it go on its merry way. Cry if you must, let whatever emotion comes just flow through you. I remember somewhere learning that you are not your emotion (ie “I am sad”). It’s more along the lines of “I’m experiencing sadness.” See the difference? And if you can realize that it’s an experience, it’s easier to observe the feeling and let it go instead of grasping it tightly.

      There is no reason to feel shame at all here. We are all of us learning. That’s all. There’s no right or wrong way to do this. We are all learning the best we can in our own “time” and in our own ways. May I suggest that you congratulate yourself for deleting your blog and actually recognizing what was happening? That is important here for you to recognize. You saw what was really happening and did something about it and changed accordingly. That’s progress wouldn’t you say? I say “Bravo!” Heart Hugs if you wish.

      With Much Love and Light,
      Chrysalis… ready to fly…

  • Dearest Stu and Marilyn La Croix,

    I agree with both of you. I’ve been trying to describe this feeling I’ve had everyday. I would add both of your descriptions to the mix: that there’s a different (fuzzy but not, can’t quite describe) light quality everywhere; and the days feel very much like a dream. I know I’m awake, I know I can “see”, yet it’s all changed.

    It helps to discuss these changes, to find new words to try and describe it, so that I can in turn describe (through 3D words) for others my experiences and possibly theirs.

    Much Love and Light to All,
    Chrysalis… ready to fly…

    • Annie & All,

      Sometimes it’s Negatives interfering; other times we’re in such a huge energetic transition that we literally experience breaks and disconnects with things, people, electronic devices, the internet etc. due to these larger energetic changes/shifts; and often it’s all of the above! 😉 😆

      ♥ Hugs,

  • MANY thanks for your comments about “the neighbors.” It’s been amazing! A dog who’s usually bearable suddenly barks super-loudly all day. That finally finishes, only to be replaced by a nearby landscaping company installing two saws to cut through THICK ROCKS! That’s done, and the conservative church across the street gets a new pastor (who works there all day every day) with the most uptight vibes imaginable – my solar plexus is always under attack, and anger vibes absolutely fill my days.

    Still haven’t figured out whether it’s all a sign to get out of here, or what – but it really helps to hear your take on it. Blessings and gratitude!


  • IN g r a t i t u d e, that I AM not screaming MAY Day-MAY Day, after the “attacks on my vehicle & my Personal ID, from family. I justified my retorts by saying, “come -on take me on”; I AM stepping-UP to show U the lesson. You are creating the Karma, it’s a free-will choice. Ignorance X-tracts its price. p. s. ~still seeing the green, gotta be in 5D. NO rose colored glasses for me–I AM on the PATH!

  • Denise, I am pasting a statement from Lisa’s newest May blog. I am hoping you will feel inclined to translate! If you do, thank you 🙂

    ◾Inner Organic Stargates of Earth Closed. No 5D Ascension. Accelerated Ascension Plan B to Incension through the Inner Hub Gate “Arc System” Networks. Mother Arc is the 13th Gateway, first point is opened in Uluru in 2009

  • Dear beloved Denise and family,
    Oh where do I begin? Honestly, I’m getting ready for “work” otherwise referred to me as “the hell hole – eye of the needle – training ground” – I am in daily. So much to say i plan to later. But I want to thank you for the message – so perfect and so needed right now. On a positive note – while sitting in a meeting yesterday – I became the (red) picture you recently posted with many threads going both upward and downward and felt so grounded and so connected to my spirituality – all higher aspects had full channels into me and vice verse. I then began to see auras of a couple of people in the meeting. But more to come this eve – what a f’ing month April was – and yes, it all began right after 12-21-12. Much love to you and all you do and everyone here, Morgean

  • Hey Denise & everyone,

    Yes, April has been long and challenging.

    I have to say, the days now feel like a dream for me, very surreal!

    Im still trying to figure out my role in all this, but maybe a recent contact through work has shed some light on this. A lady who is going through some tough issues has let me open up and shine my light, I have been able to help her and give some well needed support. It is nice to be able to help another soul through these challenging times 🙂

    Just wondering, last night (30th April), had an episode of strange dizziness, anyone else experience this? Not sure if it was because of the energetic portal of the 1st of May?



    • I have the same strange feeling of dizziness today and it started yesterday evening! I was wondering what it was. I wasn’t sure if it had to do with the new incomming energies, or if it was just Team Dark making me feel ill again. Since yesterday I have been feeling like i have the flue again: muscle ache, running nose, feeling warm and very sleepy during the day. I have to take a nap during the day again, and that went away for a while. I also never fall asleep until 5 am in the morning, and it has been that way for several months. Anyone know why it is so hard for us to sleep during the regular hours at night nowadays?

      I still have Team Dark around me all the time, but they don’t get to me like they used to. They seem weaker and scared to me now. Anyone else think that too?

      Also, I was wondering if anyone else have had/have the symptome of increased sweating during these ascension years? It has been exhausting for me at certain times, and I was just wondering if I was the only one drinking tons of wather and sweating like a pig 😦

      Lots of light hugs for everyone:) And a BIG thanks to Denise for her blog and all her help!!

    • Stu, Denise and all,
      The bull’s eye on my back is starting to fade for which I am grateful. Last night ‘s dream was my first noticed timeline divide where in I had, and occupied, two separate residences. The first was a college dorm room (#133) located on the third floor where I tucked my visiting, tired mother into my bed. (My Mom crossed over Dec. 2012). The second residence was in an apartment located off campus. That is where I was going to sleep after getting my Mom settled. When I walked outside to go to my apartment it appeared to be snowing without being cold or wet. I think it was volcanic ash. Today I am dizzy to the point of off and on nausea with a whopper of a tense neck induced headache. This too shall pass but the sooner the better. Cay

      • ♥ Hugs Cay.♥ The positive energies have been and still are intense and are causing tremendous inner pressures in our heads and/or spines and/or bodies.


    • Stu…. Yes, dizzines overload. It was a 5 hour nightmare for me. It was on the lunar Ecilpse April 25th, I was hit hard. I had called my landlord for help. I couldn’t walk easily to get to the bathroom to vomit, and he was the only one with keys to get into my place. I vomited 3 times and he wanted me to go to the ER. My thinking was so off, I ended up going. Naturally, nothing was wrong.
      Even though I have been a bit of a zombie during the last 5 days, “things” seem to be much clearer now. I think of it as my “spidie” sense has been heightened.
      I hope the dizziness never hits me (or anyone) like that again.
      Just ride with it. Some sort of adjustment is going on. I think mine was done all at once rather than spread over a few weeks.
      I thank everyone for their posts……’s been comforting knowing that we’re all in it together!

      Heart HUGs!

      • Alice & Stu,

        The inner head dizzies are or can be pretty brutal for sure. After reading both your Comments about them, I tried to remember when I got hit with them and of course I can’t recall the date now. It was in 2013 and I woke up one morning with what felt/feels to me like a good sized ball of rotating energy inside the center of my head spinning very fast counterclockwise (Merkabic). I’m still feeling it now but it’s much, much less intense that it was a few months ago. Like you Alice, it made me vomit it was that severe. Now I have to change elevations — bend over, sit down, stand up etc. — slowly otherwise it sets this inner head spinning business off to the point that I start to tip over physically.

        The past couple of weeks now I’ve been experiencing greatly increased inner head pressure that’s so severe from my current perspective, that I wondered briefly if I was having a stroke! We all think stupid, incorrect things when we’re first hit with some new energetic change such as this increase in energy pressure in our heads and/or bodies. We’re really being pummeled (positively I mean) with very, very, VERY high cosmic, galactic, Divine energies now during these Nine Months in preparation for what’s coming at the end of them. Just hang in there everyone and roll with the Divine Cosmic energy punches because they’re improving us… and overriding all of the etheric negativity done to humanity by Team Dark in that old Cycle. 🙂

        ♥ Hugs,

  • Hi Denise
    Really excellent post – thank YOU!
    April was something else wasn’t it. For me it began with the first week in bed in incredible physical pain, weird dreams .. including one which featured Jimmy Savile … and other weird things … followed by a build up to an almighty `smash and grab’ … which, if I do say so myself was handled pretty well 😉 ( thank you to you for your support during that time ♥) and, as you say, ended up being a positive jump in many ways…. at the same time there was outer stuff going on too ( as we know) .. which had a knock on affect to the collective …. then at the same time things opened up and there were new and amazing things too.
    April was a bit like the weather here … all things … all seasons in one day …
    Happy May Day Denise … looks like we made it!
    Much Love

  • Dear Denise,
    Oh my gosh! :You’re so Right On as always! I’m pretty well house-bound these days, so I dont’ get out imuch in this small town. Our neighbors are all gone working during the week, and gone shopping out of town, visiting relatives, or doing chuch work on the weekends. Not much trouble there, except for their lonely, barking, whining dogs.
    Our “attacks” seem to come through computer glitches and website malfunctions.. daily!. Household appliances breaking down, things disappearing, or lost and never found again. Phone calls day and night with “nobody” there. Demands from banks, corporations, utilities, etc., regarding our “failure to pay” or “respond”, that after umpeen calls to them, it was all their mistakes! It’s fix, fix, fix, around here. LOL
    We decided it’s to remind us to GET OFF THE SYSTEMS, which we’re doing slowly.

    On the up-side, I find the 3-D world is fading away. There’s a different quality of light in the rooms. I’m forgetting little bits and pieces of old habits, duties and obligations taking place regularly, and surprisingly, I don’t care!
    As those “Stair Steps” are slowly climbed, I find I’m living in higher states of awareness and in other dimensions more and more. I’m somehow “becoming” my Higher Self. I meditate most every morning, typing my questions and HS’s responses on the computer word processor. One day, I realized I was no longer closing my eyes while doing this. Next thing, I realized I was moving around the house, thinking of a question to ask HS when suddenly I was answering myself outloud! I’ve merged completely with HS.

    I tried to maintain an attitude of unconditional love and Oneness with All Life Everywhere, as often as I could, and this did occur for entire days at a time now and then.
    I first noticed that any people (mostly family) around me seemed more mellow, happier__ and even more intelligent. By this I mean they solved crossword puzzles more quicky and won more games of solitaire than before, noting the differences themselves.
    And when the U. Love and Oneness remained for days at a time, the “answers” to my “questions” arrived before I even asked them. Everything began to occur “apriori”__ i.e., all needs, and many desires, were met before I even realized I needed them, or wanted them. Hard to explain, but it seemed the “effects” arrived before the “causes” occurred.
    Figures began appearing in my bedroom at night__ people I realized were other versions of myself in other lifetimes &/or dimensions. It was amazing, wonderful. All the messy, “attacks” and interruptions have been prodding us to move forward into a more beautiful and wonderous world.
    I’ve also noted, the energy downloads are gentler and shorter-lived than before, and NO MORE “CLEANSING”! Hurray! HS says the photons in the sunlight are upgrading and healing our DNA automatically now. I’ve also noticed some positive health changes,as well.
    Thank you, Denise, and all you Commenters…. you have helped me to realize the miracles of our new lives.
    Love and Light to All,


    “But it still amazes me (and it certainly should not at this point) how large the consciousness gaps between people has become and how trying and oftentimes downright difficult it is for most everyone when forced to interact and communicate with someone whose barely within range of being in the same species group as you! The rubber bands are stretched about as far as they can be now and we’ve still got five more months of this before they break free of each other. Get your Zen on and keep it on because this is some “crazy weird shit” we’re dealing with!”

    This is how I have felt also. Until April my world was going fairly smoothly then a little bit of chaos in terms of resistance and lower frequencies from others; and I asked myself “is it just me?” Am I being in-considerate toward others, but No, I knew that I was mightily struggling to keep “sane” or civil and supportive amongst an increasingly “maddening crowd”. My patience was stretched thin and I was on the way to being “burnt out” but luckily, I am now on two weeks of leave, which I really need to get my Zen up again!

    In September I will turn 50 years of age. Looks like the final 5 months of my 50th year is going to be a good “test” for me personally, in terms of both laying out my own boundaries (in a firm but civil manner) and being aware that the negativity around me is merely a reflection of some people choosing to stay stuck in the old time-line, and is NOT a reflection upon how I am. I mean there’s a whole world out there, and I aim not to get dragged down into workplace anitcs, or into any other “dramas” of the world, but to hold my peace and to continue my “light work” in every form I can. Namaste, Celine

  • Thanks so much for the post Denise. I have had a heck of a time this last week. I have had so many past hurts brought back to me! I was shocked at what I had to deal with and let go. Yes, maybe test. Glad I am not alone.

    • “… I have had so many past hurts brought back to me! I was shocked at what I had to deal with and let go…”

      Tracy M. & All,

      Yep, layers n’ layers n’ layers of our inner stuff to be dealt with until we’ve acknowledged/felt/dealt with/transmuted/ and released back into neutrality all that we need to now. This is why humanity got the gift of these Nine Months extension period to — in physicality — deal with whatever it is that we still need to excavate at a slightly deeper depth within us (our individual Life Review stuff). Old unresolved duality stuff, projections, old wounds etc. etc. must be dealt with, transmuted and released so we can go on to the next stage of this unfolding Ascension Process. 😉 This we are a doin’ however! 😀

      ♥ Hugs,

  • OMG! The “Me’s”! In one dream I was in a station wagon (for those of us who remember station wagons!) full of “Me’s”– and the crazy-ass “Me” was driving! What a wild ride that was. 🙂

    Kidding aside on that one… the other two “Me’s” in the front seat were the cautious, sensible “Me” and the I-can-fix-anything mediator “Me” who was trying to reconcile an argument between the other two. All the other “Me’s” were in shadow in the back seats.

  • Denise —

    I started reading this on my phone while I was away from my computer earlier today, and just started laughing knowingly as I read. I could not wait to get home and sit at my laptop and type up a response.

    My response to this month of April has been that it has just been nutso, bipolar, and yes, weirdos coming out of the woodwork to try to trigger me (and in some cases succeeding, but only momentarily as I have gotten more and more savvy to the tactics!). For me, everything peaked this last week with the full moon, lunar eclipse, and as Laura at the Oracle Report noted, the conjunction of Mercury and Eris and the Black Moon transit. Oy vey!

    Not to mention for the US, for other places on the planet… It has been “cray-cray” as the kids like to say.

    And I found in my own personal version of this bipolar nature of the month that it was primarily male energy that was hitting me negatively — from some supposedly spiritual males as well. I have to say, with the goddess energy that is surfacing since the Venus Transit last year, which has continued to work in balancing things out this year, I do feel sorry for our males on the planet, as I think that they are being challenged so much. The status quo has been male dominated for so long, and I believe Team Dark has used masculine energy to suppress and harm the divine feminine aspect — part of the whole control system, eh? So now that it is crumbling, and moving into a very different energetic space, males are bound to be experiencing this as feeling like their entire underpinnings are coming out from under them. The ones I am encountering seem to me like they are going through menopause or something, lol. Hormonal men! If you can imagine that. But it also gets more expressed in male energetic signatures. I understand all this would be causing men to freak out. And the ones in my life have been!! Big time.

    shaking my head

    Part of me just wants to hide out under a rock until it is safe to come out!

    On the good side of it, I have felt the energy of this month clearly loosen the things of the past for me, and the energetic ties to the past have really been broken. Some of the events that happened to me that were so challenging definitely had the effect of breaking even further with the past, and I do feel I am on that bridge having gone even further forward, and the things on the past side of the bridge are really receding into the background. I am straining to look ahead and see what is ahead of me. But it’s like being on the longest bridge I have ever been on, and I cannot see what is up ahead at all. However, in this month, I also FELT for the first time, so strongly, the energy signature and frequency of what is ahead, and it was really COOL. So many of the hurts and dark things from the past are becoming less painful, and I can feel that there is something good up ahead. If I can make it across the bridge, that is, lol.

    It’s still a struggle, though, and so I responded so much to this post and the feeling that we have had some of the best of the best, and the worst of the worst in this month.

    Tonight and tomorrow with Beltane in the northern hemisphere and Samhain in the southern, I feel it is an important marking point for us. I so remember May of last year, and that one was HUGE for me. The energy of this one feels like it could really put that experience last year to shame in intensity.

    I’m buckled up.

    With love,
    Calliope the Muse/Karin

  • Hi Denise,
    Yes, April was extremely difficult. Hoping we get some relief at least, soon. In my case at this point its mostly been more weird ever changing physical symptoms, sensations pain, etc. the newest one is a swaying motion sickness feeling not quite dizzy just like I was riding on a boat or car? Hard to read as it feels like when I’m reading in a car and feels wierd and a litle nauseous, (but not from a stomach problem). This is a new one! What is that about?? Seems my symptoms are moving upward??? But at least the flu pain body debilitating pain and fake heart attack stuff that used to send me into a panic and to the ER a few times (even though I wont take a single drug or trust the docs) only to have perfect electro cardiograms and blood tests results which show nada all the time). Anyway symptoms seem to be easing last few days?? But of course not sure how long that relief will last though. I learned and keep on doing that 12 d Shield now every night along with the Fear Core removal technique ( (Lisa Renee) I found the link here. Thank you once again dear Denise! Anyway, again I’m new at this as I was a “closet” Intuitive Empath since a kid and just this past year found out about all this Ascension bussiness. I like you Denise am an Elder “Indigo” (I think). I had been told many times by other intuitives I was Starchild? Anyway doesn’t matter I suppose. In any case Im from the “old school” too. Then we were going through all this stuff and didn’t have names for it yet! In any case I sure have had a crash course this past year and wow have I connected the dots and so many questions about so many years of wierd experiences I had are resolved!!! And you have helped me tremendously with that too! So in spite of some annoying interference from unenlightened humans I’m still in process of re establising a practice that will be more timely for what everyone is and will be going through these next few years. And during my hiatis while i been in this misery of Ascension I too have been doing alot of polarity work as well for myself. So, hopefully I’ll eventually be in shape to do my Light work. These healers sitting cross legged meditating and chanting Ohm wont do anymore. We must be Light “Warriors” now too not just Light Workers! Anyway…in spite of all the suffering I’ve been and continue to experience with Ascension process, I certainly feel lucky after reading your book!! My God!!! I dare complain!! complaining. I’m just on the last pages “A Lightworkers Mission” What a Nightmare!! I must say you are St Denise in my book!!!
    Love and Deep Gratitude,

  • This has been my experience exactly, a totally crappy and a totally amazing month. It has been HARD and I have had some massive temper tantrums and that’s putting it mildly, but I can recognise the benefits. I am seeing how my emotions block me and learning how to separate emotion from feeling which makes me feel as if I am stretched between the poles in a thin string as long as the universe. Makes me feel quite wobbly. As you say it is always helpful to remember that the dark is ultimately in service of the light.

  • Wow, Denise, I don’t know where to start, some of March and all of April have been ‘manic’, turbulent, confusing, and downright disruptive. Everyone around me has had a very testing and trying time of it, myself included of course.

    After 21.12.12. I intended to move through this process with as much fluidity as possible, little did I know how many unsettling situations would show up in such a short space of ‘time’, which caused a temporary glitch to all my good intentions. However, in amongst the ‘crappy stuff’ there have been glimpses of clearer vision, a bit more of the bigger picture visible, and quite a few ‘aha’ moments.

    I still don’t have a clue what is happening, but it sort of seems ok, everytime I think I ‘get it’, ‘it’ changes, the elastic seems to stretch again to a new place, then I catch up, it moves again, etc., etc., but just how long is a piece of elastic ?

    Your experience with neighbours (team dark) has reminded me of a series of very similar upsetting events that plagued me a few years back, I hadn’t thought that I might have been targeted at that particular time, but looking back in hindsight, it may have been the case. I have on occasion wondered whether many years of chronic fatigue syndrome have had anything to do with such attacks, the chemtrails and toxic childhood vaccinations are possibilities too.

    Oh how I yearn for that elastic to stop stretching, I want to get off the ‘surfboard’ and relax on the new shore, I’m tired ………. Roll on September.

    In lak’esh

  • Hi Denise,

    Though I’m totally burned out at the moment, I just wanted to send you a HUGE thank you for this. Totally resonate – right there with you sister. Uuugh, and so ready for April to be over as well. Take care & hang in there. Now, back to bed…

  • I have not experienced anxiety this intense in 20 years. Ego stuff, that I could not release. Like you said, I had very high highs, and very low lows. Hoping May is better, lots of spiritual attacks as well, but I think I have come out the other side.

  • “crazy weird shit” we’re dealing with! same extreme experiences here (this month), and oddly, yes, the neighbor thing too and it gave way to personal freedom. It's free and breezy to be, free. 🙂

    Kind regards. Chandra Leigh

  • Everything I had just text was erased ugh!

    Ok im gonna keep it short and simple. Im tired and I’m in tears after reading this post. I cant begin to share all my dramatic attacks, but in short, they tried killing me in the accident 2/9 they are trying to make my sick (infection in uterus and ovaries) they are trying to break up my relationship with my partner (distance relationship if he has to stay in LA for work) they have declined insurance claim so our car may have a lien sale ($4k +) 30 days to pay we have no means of transportation now. We arent paying it!!!! They can keep the car and shove it!!

    We are trying doing everything we possibly can, it is trying and its very sad at times depressing almost to see the light.

    Im trying to get zen in the home too. Suggestions?

    Now as to all the positive I sent a text to guy who hit me and forgave him, amongst those other humans who were being used and still are being manipulated, i forgave them and shared my love.

    They try sooo hard…im not going nowhere!!! Thank you for this post Denise…

    Love and hugs…

    • Enita
      Hang in there
      Sending you so much love and reiki and all things powerful and positive.
      We are with you.

      Oh … also Enita … you asked – `Im trying to get zen in the home too. Suggestions? ‘
      Well .. a while ago I was having some problems with energies in our home and I was drawn to the colours rose and gold … and then someone left me a comment about how she had placed objects with these colours around her home and this had helped her … so I tried it too and it has really helped. Each time I felt a lower vibration I would look at these objects of rose and gold and my vibration would lift … it also seemed to help the general energy of where we live and the surrounds.
      I hope this also helps you.

      btw … this may also help (hope you do not mind Denise … but I found this technique so helpful during the `smash and grab’ fest last month

  • Yes, April was a huge challenge and a gift. Just when I think that there are no good endings in sight for a relative, he gets it together and a miracle of grace shows up….and then it happens all over again…Extreme anger and hopelessness to sudden sensibleness. Very odd to witness and manage, and a great practice for keeping my center. Not always successful, but strangely enough I feel myself growing more sane throughout all the craziness.

  • Thanks, Denise. Well you just descibed the month of April perfectly. Today’s blog came at the perfect time, as things for me have been just as you described above. I must admit that the last couple of days I really have felt like I just can’t take this anymore. I have felt very depressed and hopeless. It makes me feel so much better that you understand.

    In love & gratitude,

  • Denise, I was waiting for you write today, for I was feeling the intense energy that I haven’t felt for awhile, in the last 3 days.
    It is very difficult dragging one’s self through the day trying to get necessary things done while feeling so many unwanted symtoms.
    I have sat here the last 3 days, trying sooo hard to clean the house with no energy and then want to cry becuase I can’t. I don’t except people to feel sorry for me, it’s just I am so tried of THIS state, and the lonliness..
    I try and not freak out becuase I don’t sleep until 3:00am, That the vibrational energy is over the top and that most people aren’t experiencing what I am and don’t have a clue.

    However, I haven’t been able to work very much in the last 3 years but have noticed lately when people call for(Soul) readings that I am spot on. Greater clarity and expansion.
    Once again thanks so much for checking in…definelty and reality check. I am so tired of being tired.

  • Dearest Denise,

    Thank you, thank you for your talent of expressing in “limited” words some of my experience. Just today I was trying to express to my therapist how for a few weeks I’ve been here, but not really here, or rather here but not disassociated, but…. and bless you, there it was: it’s this process of embodying more me/Me/ME. I feel expanded, floaty, tired but not tired. I sense that this is preparing Me for the next step of awareness/embodying. One thing my therapist mentioned today is it sounded like I’m in an “incubation” time, or her other thing she references: adpating to the new elevation as with mountain climbing… how you need to rest at a base camp to aclimate before moving further up (ah hah! stair steps!).

    I’ve been guided to do acupuncture, something I’ve never done before. I’ve only had 3 treatments (to help relieve really bad sciatic pain), and everytime, I lay in the recliner for 2 hours! It never feels like 2 hours, never feels like I fall asleep, that I’m aware of people coming and going, the music, etc. It occurred to me today that me/Me/ME are all working together intensely during this time, although “me” doesn’t remember a lot of it. I also am experiencing various memories, pictures and thoughts that are releasing during the treatment. The acupuncturists both said to me, after I was shocked that 2 hours passed, that my “body must have really needed it”. And I completely agree.

    I’ve reached a place where dealing with emotional, past, “triggered” issues are really “in the past”. Now my focus is on the physical. I need to focus on healing my body, building up stamina so that I can truly go forth and “live”. In the “now” time, I’m listening to my body and other pieces of wisdom that guide me to what is important for me to know/learn, as well as sharing and opening up with people that cross my path.

    And by the way, thank you for cracking me up!!!

    “AND have also been experiencing being attacked again by some unaware dumb-ass human(s) on autopilot being controlled by lower frequency ego, emotions, awareness and nonphysical Team Dark beings”

    Bless you for sharing your experiences/observations in increments throughout this “time”. As with everything, as things unfold, the time will be right to hear and know about more of this process.

    With Much Love and Light,
    Chrysalis… ready to fly…

    • just a quick note, I had acupuncture for back pain as well but had to lay on my stomach or on my side as the needles were placed in the area of the pain. The person was trained in Eastern tradition. I had 10 sessions and mostly they only lasted for 30-40 mins each. I received much benefit and remain mostly pain free now………unless I do something stupid and hurt myself. I have 5 herniated disc and stenosis so I feel really blessed to find this healer who helped me so much. I wish you success on you new adventure in this healing mode.
      oh I forgot to add, I received some emotional benefit from my sessions as well, this was maybe 7 years ago.

      As far as April goes, what is that anyway? Or where was it? Seems I have lost all touch with anything related to time. Love to all here 🙂

      • Hey Sunny, I just came across some very simple yet incredibly effective exercises for back pain. Google “Foundation Mercola Youtube” for a video demonstration; or the book is called Foundation: Redefine Your Core…” The man (Eric Goodman) who devised the system has herniated discs that everyone says absolutely need surgery, yet because of these exercises, he’s pain-free and extremely active. Good luck!

      • Dearest Sunny,

        I’m so glad that acupuncture was helpful for you. One thing I must mention (just realized I hadn’t before) is that the place I go to is a “community” based treatment. The cost is on a sliding scale fee, a lot lower than usual because they treat everyone in the same room. There are several recliners in a dimly lit room, with white noise makers and soft music. People come in and out, the practitioners come and remove the needles when they see you stirring, so there’s no set time for when you have to leave. Apparently this is how acupuncture was set up in China originally, to promote communal healing. This is how I end up laying there for 2 hours! I figure I must be helping others as much as myself to heal. It’s so nice that everyone communicates by whispering, however I can do without the occasional person who snores (hehe!).

        Time and dates have escaped me. The only reason I’m “on time” to anywhere is because years ago I started keeping a daily calendar, writing down everything I do during the day… including appointments. If I haven’t written on a day, I know that’s what day it is… and I still couldn’t tell you what it is!!

        With Much Love and Light,
        Chrysalis… ready to fly…

  • wow, yes, april has been mighty dark. lots of pissed-off bullying controller types (nonphysical) making their near-constant presence known to me. and my physical health is worse than it has ever been, ever. they’ve loaded this weight on me and i’m in such poor condition, can’t feel my heart, they just pummel the life out of me, hurl insults at me, stab me in the head, and so on. geesh! really, no shame or compassion at all.

    holding onto a very thin thread here in the hopes that this is all truly for a great big huge wonderful purpose. my conscious faith falters, i feel abandoned and betrayed at times, in a state of horror and panic, asking “how could this happen? are you fucking kidding me???” but inside i’m still me and calm and centered at the same time. but that’s not life. this is not life. it’s a moment-by-moment survival. my guides call it “staying in the Divine Present,” no matter what is going on, no matter how awful i feel in this beleaguered form.

    oh anyway … i just wanted to say thank you for your love and support here, for all that you give and all that you are, with us and for us.

    much love,

  • THANK YOU so much for this Denise! I’ve still been a target, & it’s been close to my demise :), but know I’m about to break through. And I’ve actually started to get the feeling that these attacks now are mirroring the buried parts of ourselves that are scared or embarrassed to come out. We are all ONE anyway (yet that’s not the “reality” in duality). But we have this amazing opportunity to welcome those parts of us and embrace them and love them. Not necessarily to welcome in Team Dark, but to use them as a reminder that we are really so powerful and just have the last deep bits of clearing to do. And there is no reason to be scared of them or constantly on the lookout and protecting from them. The focus is to be on the Light and, as you said, healing ourselves so we may embody more of it. So Team Dark at this point can serve as a pain in our body does…just a reminder or a message that there’s more Love to Be.

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