Certain Starseed/Wanderer Contracts

blue soul comets

“So many things seem to be happening. I will just describe a few. I have had this extreme awareness and knowing of all the “negative” aspects in my personality, in my being that need to be worked on. All that yucky dark stuff that usually make me cringe and want to hide. My usual reaction to the moments when i am digging deep, I mean deep inside myself, where most of us do not want to go, is to stop thinking about it, to dig my head in the sand because I have always struggled with self-worth. I have always felt like I was not good enough. I have almost been trained to hate myself. And to think about the “dark aspects” always made me depressed and loath myself. made me feel like a piece of shit if you will. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression. (raised in an extremely religious southern baptist household which I feel I could write a whole book on the ass backwardness of organized religion but I digress)

The other lifelong struggle has been the negative attacks from the dark humans. At school, in the work place, even friends have been down right nasty in the past. A best friend of mine who for almost 10 years we were together almost everyday (who is one of us she just does not know it yet) has witnessed and has been just as perplexed as I as to why I so frequently get attacked by people, usually male. In my life it made me feel as though something was inherently wrong with me. Even though I have always known I have a big heart and have so much love to give and that I was here for a purpose. I love like crazy. I don’t have a mean bone in my body yet I sometimes am treated like dirt by people. My spirit guides have shown me recently that all the attacks, anxiety, depression, physical and sexual abuse have been Team Dark trying to derail me. Their plan was to keep me so consumed with fear and confusion over what was “wrong” with me and what I did to deserve all the awful things done to me. I am very sensitive and am an empath so living in this world with these people and energies has been freaking awful. Well those little fuckers may have won that battle but they sure as heck are not winning the war! On some level for quite some time it worked for a long time but no more! I have spent the last 30 years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Why did I feel so different. Why did I feel like an alien on this planet? So now when facing these dark aspects of myself there has been a major shift. In the last few days instead of hating myself I shine the dark corners with love and forgiveness. And boy does it feel good…


Because faye1234’s Comment question was so important and one that most Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers can completely relate to, I wanted to respond to it in an article instead of getting buried in Comments. Thank you faye1234.   ❤


Because my natal Sun is in Capricorn and in Capricorn’s natural 10th House, for decades I believed that my downright insane and miserable patriarchal encounters, head-butting fights, and those epic David vs. Goliath type battles with patriarchal persons in positions of power and/or authority were solely due to my Capricorn 10th House Sun and a lot of it was. In addition, my natal Saturn—ruler of my Capricorn Sun—is in Libra (along with three other planets including the ruler of my ASC) and this Libra stellium only amplified my always feeling at odds with the “normal” patriarchal masses and what to me have always been their negative and seriously crazy belief systems, ways and actions.

These lifelong tensions and squirmy feelings I’ve always had were tremendously amplified whenever I had to interact with (typically) older males in positions of “power” and “authority” in our society; bosses, police, judges, lawyers, doctors etc. (After the 1960s revolutionary battles with “the establishment”, certain females were allowed to publicly wield more patriarchal power too and they became power-hungry, ego-based, left-brained imbalanced patriarchal humans we Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers/Indigos also had to navigate. There were no equal rights for women, there was join the patriarchal Boys Club because that’s all that existed. I’ll spare you my numerous unpleasant and oftentimes insane and ridiculous battles, attacks and showdowns I’ve experienced with the patriarchy during my sixty years on Earth and get into the WHY of it. Natal placements plus this second ingredient are intimately connected and why I’ve repeatedly experienced extreme negative battles and attacks from so many humans—mostly males but plenty of patriarchal entrenched females too—physically manifesting Team Dark’s alien agendas in this dimension and world.

This other energetic ingredient is being a Starseed. A Starseed with a Soul Mission and hardwired ability to transmute, integrate, resolve and transcend density, duality and negativity and return those energies to a higher frequency state of energetic neutrality or “unity” while in physicality. Needless to say this is not an easy, safe or pleasant job to do while within a negative polarized physical world reality, and most Starseeds (and “Volunteers”, Forerunners, Wayshowers, Pathpavers etc.) with this particular Soul Mission and ability (“Polarity Integrator” as Lisa Renee has called them) have had more than our fair share of negative, cruel and outrageous attacks and battles with the physical human patriarchy.

So yes, the answer to our first thought that it must be me is correct, but for different reasons than you and I believed for far too long. It is just me, just you, just us, because we Starseeds, Forerunners, Wayshowers are here now doing what we’re so good at doing with and to Duality energies. The real difficulty has always been that most Starseeds/Forerunners/Wayshowers typically don’t consciously remember that they Volunteered to incarnate on physical Earth now and why. A rare handful do remember from childhood that they intentionally came to Earth from elsewhere, whereas far more begin remembering later in adulthood. Other Starseeds, and even some Indigos, are triggered by their Higher Selves to begin consciously remembering their larger and more complex identity and Soul Mission(s) at specific times due to a multitude of personal, astrological, cosmic, multidimensional and evolutionary Ascension Process reasons.

But before a Starseed begins consciously remembering their greater identities and/or current physical plane Soul Mission, they typically believe the negative lies and BS that all the negativity, hostility, disrespect, violence, physical and etheric attacks, endless supply of abnormally imbalanced humans littering their earthly lifelong Path are somehow all their fault! They typically and automatically wonder what terrible thing(s) THEY must have done somewhere to create the constant negativity, darkness and cruel attacks from other humans during this lifetime. If you’ve bought into the “sin” and “guilt” or “karma” beliefs because you don’t remember your greater identity and Soul Contracts yet, then you assume that must be the reason for the endless negativity you attract from both living humans plus other-dimensional Beings, Aliens, Entities etc.

You, me, each of us typically runs these negative experiences through our own ego filters and naturally assume it is us, when in fact it is us, but it is only because we’re on Earth now to transmute and transcend the negativity in 3D and 4D primarily and NOT BECAUSE WE’VE DONE ANYTHING WRONG. My dearest fellow Starseeds/Forerunners/Wayshowers/Indigos, we naturally and automatically attract the negativity, insanity and imbalanced seen and unseen populations because we carry more Light here and the Dark instantly sees and recognizes us long before we ever recognize them! That unfortunate truth is simply part of our many different learning curves we must Master while here in 3D. We take plenty of beatings before we put two-and-two together, but once we finally do connect the inter-dimensional energy dots of our larger existence, identity and Soul Missions, we then move through our individual Soul Missions much easier, faster and with far less personal damages and wounds than before.

The farther along we individually go with transmuting polarized energies through our bodies and beings, the more we remember and embody High Heart or Unity or Triality Consciousness which makes our Work, our “jobs”, our Soul Missions here much easier, faster, less painful and polarized. We learn to reach and maintain emotional neutrality which is also greater and higher conscious awareness neutrality, with more and more things, people, situations, events, attacks and all the rest of it. We’re learning or have learned and mastered being and remaining within that third higher frequency space that exists vibrationally beyond (let’s say above for ease of communication) Duality which means we have an easier time NOT being affected or influenced by any physical human, nonphysical Being/Alien/Entity, or trans-dimensional events caused by either of them whether directed at us individually or not. It just is what it is and we simply do what we do with less and less drama, pain, negativity and time spent in those miserable battles and attacks. From my Denise perspective it took me far too long to reach the edges of this state of being and working of my earthly Soul Mission but there it is and what do I know about it all anyway?  😉


Starseeds/Indigos/Lightworkers are typically ultra-sensitives who FEEL things, people, events, locations, actions, thoughts, thought-forms, emotional energies, negativity, polarity etc. much more intensely than “normal” people do. Added to this is something I’ve become increasingly aware of over the past intense thirteen Ascension years (1999–2012) which is that the more polarized and dark or negative energies I’ve gotten rid of (transmuted and therefore removed), the less of it it now takes to make me feel like ultra crap! Hence, the Princess & the Pea business. This is another reason why our own inner dark, unresolved issues and energies—PLUS everyone else’s—feels so much larger and exaggerated to us than it actually is. The more Light there is, the more it highlights the Dark no matter how small it may now be. Don’t take it personally, don’t go into guilt over it, don’t obsess or fixate on it, remain emotionally neutral about it all and just do what you’ve been doing all along which is integrate it, transmute it, and transcend it back into unified Neutrality.

When we feel the dark or negative now it’s painful in new ways because it’s so profoundly amplified and highlighted by the abundant Light Energies now present. The dark thing only needs to be something small and simple now and yet it feels like a massive boulder under my twenty mattresses! “Consciousness” is rapidly becoming a whole-body and whole-being awareness instead of the old left brained linear only thought process of polarized 3D. We are rapidly becoming increasingly aware of more things but in very new ways which means we’re having to let go of even more and learn many new ways of perception during these last six months of 2012.


Because you are one dearest. ❤ Most of us Starseeds/Wanderers/Lightworkers are the positive ETs many people talk about that they believe will come to Earth and fix things! Surprise, but we’re already here and have been for decades, working behind the scenes, doing what we do for humanity and the Ascension timeline. I know that huge self-worth issues are common among the Groups or Waves of Starseeds/Wanderers (and Indigos) but you’ve all got to realize that you’re not here on Earth now to be like the human masses. Not remotely, so don’t use those negative and distorted Alien patriarchal human standards to measure yourself against for any reason. I know how hard and painful that is too but you’ve got to ignore those mind control delusions and distortions and be what you are and do what you do. And I know so many of you have done it repeatedly even when you didn’t know you were.


July 10, 2012

copyright dk blue Copyright © Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS, 2012. All Rights Reserved. 

107 thoughts on “Certain Starseed/Wanderer Contracts

  • Is it possible to fail as a starseed? some of us are just depressed souls with no strength for much,
    we barely care about about ourselves…so helping others seems almost sarcastic to suggest..

    i hope some of you are happy, but some of us starseeds have pretty shitty existances, and its just incredible to believe that we have such a mission to fulfill when our own existances are so lame. I hope to hear that there is hope for us, and that someone up there actually cares about us..otherwise i dont understand this huge responsability we need to fulfill… 😦

    • I wish someone replied to you because it’s a great question. I’m in a similar position so you’re not alone!

      I was sort of thrown into all of this stuff by accident. I had a spontaneous awakening a few years ago and have been experiencing intense energies ever since. I’m still trying to learn what they mean and how to deal with them. It seems like a lot of people here are pros, I have no idea what they’re talking about a lot of the time. I wish there were an introductory guide for newbies or something like that.

      I can definitely relate to what Denise said about the “frequency fence” though where I’ll feel happy for a day and then quickly go back to being depressed.

      • HB,

        There’s plenty of older but highly valuable information — aka Light — archived here at TRANSITIONS about everything Ascension related so if you’re really interested in learning more about what you’re going through and why, please read through my articles. The one at the top of the page is for “newbies” to this information and also more info for those who’ve been at this for many years or a couple of decades. That would be a great place for you to start, then I’d suggest you read through the articles under the heading Ascension Process/Symptoms/Kundalini. If still interested after that, then start reading articles under the other headings because they’re all related to this compressed evolutionary Ascension Process. The answers, insights and experiences are here, one just has to dig through the archives and do a lot of reading. 🙂

  • Great post, thanks it cleared things up and confirmed things that resonated with me!

  • Hi Denise.
    Do you think that first contact will happen soon, or do wee have to wait until wee ascend to the 5:th dimension to meet our galactic family?
    I strongly feel that i am from the pleiades and i would love to meet them.

    • “Hi Denise.
      Do you think that first contact will happen soon, or do wee have to wait until wee ascend to the 5:th dimension to meet our galactic family?
      I strongly feel that i am from the pleiades and i would love to meet them.

      Charlotta U.,

      “First Contact” can happen any time, anywhere — however it typically happens in the sleep/dream/out-of-body state only because it’s much easier for the one in human form to interact with higher dimensional Beings this way. Even at that the human doesn’t always remember this meetings or interactions with higher dimensionals once they wake up in physicality. It takes some work and determination to retain the memory of other dimensional activities but more and more people are able to do this now. 🙂

      If you REALLY, honestly want to have a meeting with one or more positive higher dimensionals or ETs/Starbeings/Lightbeings etc., then ask for this to happen to you and also intend to consciously remember it all too. 😉 Then, pay close attention to your dreams, and to the strange coincidences that suddenly seem to be happening. That’s always been a clear sign that positive higher dimensionals are trying to communicate something to you in their typical quantum sort of ways so pay attention from your heart. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what and who shows up.

      Also, “First Contact” has been and will continue to happen in this individual way. Mass humanity is not ready yet but they’ll get there over time. This is why multidimensional, interdimensional contact always happens with the individual and other higher dimensional Beings first so the human can adjust to this sort of sudden and greatly expanded awareness and having their “reality” changed in an instant.


      • Hi Denise,
        I think I was in Oneness since I was born but went on a Jesus kick and started getting Ascension symptoms. Now I have a distinct feeling of being in duality.

        • “Hi Denise,
          I think I was in Oneness since I was born but went on a Jesus kick and started getting Ascension symptoms. Now I have a distinct feeling of being in duality.”


          Oh the things I could so easily say about this… 🙄 😆

          Just BE the aspect of God/Source/The All That Is that you always have been and always will BE. Let the intentionally distorted, perverted religious teachings of the past go now. This is the time, the RE-learning, the remembering of the fact that humanity has everything it needs within ourselves, not outside of us in some other person(s), being(s), organization(s), religion(s) etc. etc. as old negative beings and people wanted humanity to believe for their own reasons. This is the time of us living from a position of individual spiritual maturity, responsibility, empowerment and individual knowing — not external reliance on anyone else to help us connect with god etc. You know what I’m saying, and this is why you felt the drop back down frequency-wise when you went on that “Jesus kick” and found yourself back in Duality frequency. 😉


    • I felt my shame being lifted as I read your story. My self consuming hate as a kid, the strangely negative attacks as from males, and horrifying attacks from the dark side. Even meetings with very dark et entities, where they explained how they were justified and entitled to murder and commit atrocities, all as they tried to gain my admiration by performing stupid parlor tricks. Have you experienced these meetings?

      I am not an empath, nor have i ever been. From my earliest memories of childhood I have been the most intense truth seeker I have ever known. I grew up in a completely sterilized secular family. Spiritualality was not even discussed. When I first walked into a church at the age of 6, I rejected it immediatley. Why did people worship a man (Jesus)? It literally made me physically ill.

      When I was 20yrs old I completed a life long mission to gain understanding and reckonition of truth. I began to remember past lives and the and contact with my star family. I remember the pain from that seperation and it is that I believe that had caused me to be a very unhappy, sad child. I also experinced horrible abuse growing up. My father was exremely abusive and strict.

      Im still struggling to love and accept myself. You have helped immensely. I have noticed that among starseeds there is a common dream scenario of being initiated into the military and or secret service. What does this mean?

  • Your article brightened my insomniacky-early morning. That bit about how light attracts dark is true beyond comfort. Not that I’m ever-so-illuminated, but dang, I often wonder about all these tormenters I’ve encountered, and my few abilities on how to deal with them. Employment is the biggest challenge of all. Ha, you think maybe they could give “disability” for Star Seeds? Lol! “Star Seed Disability.” Actually, it’s not all that hilarious. It can drive you to agoraphobia faster’n you can say OM.

    • “Your article brightened my insomniacky-early morning. That bit about how light attracts dark is true beyond comfort. Not that I’m ever-so-illuminated, but dang, I often wonder about all these tormenters I’ve encountered, and my few abilities on how to deal with them. Employment is the biggest challenge of all. Ha, you think maybe they could give “disability” for Star Seeds? Lol! “Star Seed Disability.” Actually, it’s not all that hilarious. It can drive you to agoraphobia faster’n you can say OM.”


      😆 So very true! Please, please, don’t make me leave the house and go Out There! 😉


  • I hear ya, Denise,

    Bless you for your work and perseverance. Understand the Capricorn thing as well, with Moon in Cap on MC and south node/Saturn conjunct in Aquarius in the 10th, didn’t make for
    “earthly” friends in high places (they shunned me) The only “authority” I’d hear was my own connectedness to God/Source, and it made (still makes) for a life in 3d that frightens anyone around. Hence, I’m a bit of a monastic 😉

    It’s getting almost impossible to spend time with folks who aren’t doing their inner work, it’s too dense, too draining, too tiring. My heartfelt appreciation to you~~ for the tremendous service you provide here for us folks, for those of us stumbling, bumping, crawling, and begging for the Light/GodSource to lift them over the barricades.

    in Love and appreciation,

  • Until I read your blog I never understood what was going on throughout my life. Everything you’ve written from growing up in overly religious home to trying to find out who you were as a starseed almost describes what I’ve experienced.

    Thank you for writing about your experiences. It truly is comforting.

  • Hi Denise,

    I haven’t had a chance to read all the comments yet, but something led me here, and after reading your post, I think I have the closest feeling to “home” that I ever have. It was as if you were writing my life. I have the strict southern Baptist thing that scared the hell out of me as a child. Being told you are a sinner and will burn in hell from birth on is not the greatest start. But then I also have had numerous people “attack” me in the strangest, most unbelievable ways. I have always been a very loving, giving person myself. So the attacks from childhood to present have fed into that feeling that there must be something really evil/inherently bad about me. I remember a good friend’s father accusing me of getting her into drugs, when I didn’t have anything to do with drugs, and her own brother had died at 18 from mixing hard-core drugs. I could not believe that was actually happening! Then this same friend and another good friend (i.e. my “best friends”) in high school actually set me up to be raped. Of course I could go on and on, and I don’t really want to give them any more power by focusing on this stuff. But NOW I GET IT!!!
    I’ve thought about this possibility at times…like these dark beings see my light and try to keep me down. Although in the last few years I’ve been attacked by so many people, even by those in “power” positions in this 3D world, such that my life has only been made more physically difficult on top of the negative feelings towards myself. I’ve even been literally attacked by my “family”. It’s interesting that I always had this feeling deep down that my “family” were like they have been lately – or had those qualities they tried to hide. Like I had an intuitive knowing, yet I still spent my life trying to please them. Wow, it seems like such a waste! Guess they did their jobs pretty well, although I think I chose this family because they would challenge me so. Not that they are dark beings, but they possess enough of those qualities to “help”. Because I think that at least partially what’s been happening lately is to help “shake me up” so that I stop giving away my power, stop focusing on the external and trying to “control” it, and let go of my “attachment” to things.
    So while I’ve thought that these last few years were telling me I really was a “nothing”…or worse than a “nothing”; that I was just put hear to be punished (consequently I have an excruciatingly painful condition). I would teeter totter back and forth with “knowing” that I was so much more than I could possibly believe. But the biggest difficulty has been actually loving myself. Now that I’ve read your post, I am encompassing myself in Love, and I’m also allowing myself to open up to receive Love (whereas other times I’d think I was opening up, but I was doing so with fear, thus keeping real Love away), and attracting more of those nasty bugs.
    It’s so funny that I always felt like I did not belong here, but now I KNOW I don’t “belong” here! 🙂 I had also been “trying” so hard to look at those other people’s perspectives and be compassionate and forgive. But I kept thinking how absurd it was that I was compassionate, forgiving, etc. BEFORE, so why would all these horrible things happen to teach me to be like I already was? NOW I see that there never was anything wrong with me, and like you said, I can shine the light on those dark places in myself and Love them & embrace them (rather than fearing them). And with the things others have been doing to me, I’ve still had that Indigo Warrior energy trying to stand up to the wrongs, protect the innocent and all that – though I’ve had the feeling that was not what was called for anymore; that it was actually about letting it all go and just being OK with myself, no matter what happens. That will actually have a much greater impact on “fighting” the dark humans anyway. So, with those nasty bugs, now I can stop running around like crazy trying to swat them down, and can just let them hit my (Light) windshield, going down all by themselves,… as I stroll on through. 🙂
    So, sorry to ramble, but I just want to THANK YOU, THANKY YOU, THANK YOU – IMMENSELY!!! 🙂

    • “…I’ve thought about this possibility at times…like these dark beings see my light and try to keep me down…”

      Kimberly Dawn,

      THAT is exactly correct and exactly what happens to everyone carrying Light within themselves in a Dark and controlled world! They, we, get attacked repeatedly, set-up, derailed, assailed and killed. Is it any wonder why Starseeds/Lightworkers/Wayshowers have low self-esteem issues? This is why; for lifetimes we’ve been brutalized, tortured, attacked and murdered to prevent the Light from getting a foothold on this planet. We must get past this and do our Energy Work and to hell with the Negatives and crazy, unaware people that are repeatedly put in our way to stop us from doing and being what we actually are now on Earth for all of humanity.

      I’m glad you’ve found your way here to this information now. It’s time. ♥ 🙂


      • I was lead here today…the few postings I have read seem to be very familiar! I really do hope it is time I for one am struggling with the heavy vibes around me..THANKYOU everyone x

    • Thanks for your post comment. This is a wonderful post and the comments by everyone are exactly what’s more that I need to have. Thanks EVERYONE.

  • Hi Denise. Thanks for sharing this. I am just now catching up on this post. Only just this morning I got another drubbing by the dark beings. I woke up ready to vomit with fear (again). They do a number on me while I sleep. There’s been this ongoing theme where every morning I get up and immediately discover I am quite “mangled, tangeled, splatter, scatter, twisted and unkind”. In my mind, I feel very ugly to myself. I have used the analogy of pinochio who is all tangeld up in his strings, and the more he tries to untangle himself, the more helpless and tangled up he gets. Meanwhile, the village bullies, who did this to him, are laughing with cruel delight at how foolish Pinochio is acting. Some mornings, the internal sense of desperation, shame, and sheer chaos can feel so ugly that I can hardly imagine how this had any redeeming value whatsoever as a form of “service” to the light. Today in particular I feel very discouraged. I had several “melt down” moments that left me feeling like barren metal inside (“miasmatic” as Lisa calls it). These are points where I am turned in on myself in a very helpless and self-destructive way due to being unable to extricate myself from the “knots” that my Pinocchio character is tied up in. Yet this is in fact what I am experiencing.

    I remember you talking about how the dark ones tried to stop you from doing your 12D shield. I too am getting a lot of attack when I do my shield. I feel perturbed by this perpetual victim role I feel stuck in. There must be some self-perception that allows this to go on, like a sticky note on my back that says “easy target”. I admit my “inner child” feels horribly wounded by this non-stop experience of “defeat” by the beings. No one wants to go around with such a lump of ugliness inside. But this must be the very thing I have to transmute through Love and compassion. The bottom line for me is to overcome the shame and embarrassment. The beings are there all the time watching me, ready to amplify any sense of failure or disappointment. There’s some way in which my eyes are artifically wired into seeing their laughing faces when I have one of my typical melt downs. I lost my car keys again this morning, something that happenes at least once per day. And it took 20 minutes to find them. The whole time, I was sweating bullets over how the beings were “enjoying my failure”. In the self-help movement, they say things like “it’s none of my business what others think of me”. In this case, it would be great if I could unentangle myself from what these being think of me. I think they have some technologies that they can use on us to make this dis-identfication difficult.

    I guess the main thing I want to say is that I am encouraged to hear that possibly all of what I am going through does serve a higher purpose and I will work to see that for myself. I have looked at la ong river of internal miasmatic yuck for over a year thinking that this has got to be a mistake. But in fact it must mean that i have one of those “heavy contracts”.

    The dark ones have been coming on more and more heavy lately. I get the sense that they want me to stay isolated and break me down by applying “overwhelming force”. it’s had me a bit freaked out at times, as if I am a lamb being led to the slaughter. I have to stay as neutral as possible. I re-read Lisa’s newlsetter “world of forces” and realized I am probably one of those “unstable personalities” that would be a perfect target for the dark ones. I have NOT been as disciplined as I need to be. I am making the decision now to really stick to some hard and fast prinicples to get through this.

    I do notice an internal confusion and contradiction regarding my role as a polarity integrator and my role as a human who wants to break free from the past and have a happier future. The polarity integrator role seems to require that I make peace with the fact I am standing in a puddle of yuck every day of my life in order to transmute that yuck. But on the other hand, Lisa talks about “The Law of Resonance” and moving toward the ideals of Love, Gratitude, Peace, the. Can I say “I don’t really resonate with this yuck I wake up every day so i am going to work toward something better”? The yuck won’t let me walk away from it! At least not yet. It is so sticky and full of hooks (psychological as well as energetic) that I almost feel fatalistic about it. This is the technology of the dark ones, to keep me thinking I can’t shift out of it. I know this from having seen how the various implants and harnesses work. But I would like your feedback Denise on this issue of “accepting what is” (in order to transmute duality to reality through neutrality) versus getting out of the victim role and having a future that is brighter and happier. After all, the point is “Freedom and Sovereignty”. So until further notice, I do work to free myself from the daily entanglement that my Pinocchio character is in. Those strings he’s tied up in are mental harnesses, implants, and other devices. But I also have to apply compassion for the daily experience of shame, defeat and humiliation which is a form of service for this planet (for all of those humans who know the experience of being bullied….such as the teens who end up committing suicide because they cannot come to terms with the daily bullying they get at school).

    In closing, think of Tom Sellec when I say:


    • Travis,

      We all have to deal with the Negatives duality victim/victimizer mind-job they’ve laid on humanity. Whenever I feel those lower frequencies trying to worm their way back into me and my life/awareness/reality etc., I immediately say (three times) Lisa Renee’s I AM GOD, I AM SOVEREIGN, I AM FREE line and by the second time I’ve said it in my mind and/or out loud, I’m remembering that it is a FACT and not merely wishful thinking! You must learn to do this same thing every time you feel yourself being manipulated by Team Dark or their tools like this victim/victimizer crap. You/me/each of us HAS to make a conscious effort to NOT get manipulated by thoughts and/or emotions we don’t want to have running inside of us.

      The more you think about these sorts of attacks and remain in your intellect with them, you’re trapped there looping around and around thinking the shit out of it all. The next time it happens to you force yourself to take another road mentally and emotionally and refuse to play their tools inside you and your mind. It can be done, with some effort and real determination and willingness to honestly let go of these thoughts, feelings etc. and go into Knowing and Being the aspect of God/Source/The All That Is that you actually are. The bottom line comes down to playing these looping negative tapes in our minds and emotions or…NOT…and intently redirecting our consciousness and focus over to something else that we want to focus on. None of us, myself included, have been “as disciplined as I need to be.” 🙄 If we honestly want to get free of this shit and negativity in these final months of 2012, then it’s going to take some real determination to not get suckered or pulled in by the Negatives and their old tools such as the victim/victimizer BS.

      The other thing that’s a great help with being a Polarity Integrator is to NOT paying any attention to the “yuck” factor or negativity of the negativity. You know what it is so don’t focus on it mentally or emotionally, just acknowledge it and transmute it back to a neutral energy state where it is no longer polarized bad/good etc. When I think about the actions by other people that I’ve transmuted that were so horrible I rarely ever talk about them, they are too much for me to endure. Yet, the second I go into Polarity Integrator mode I feel nothing one way or the other. In other words, I become neutral emotionally about it all and just do the Work. You need to stop intellectually and emotionally wallowing in the “yuck” you’re experiencing/feeling and just do the Work to neutralize the “yuck”. That was said with love just in case it didn’t sound like it! ♥

      The fact that you’re so fed-up with the victim/victimizer Team Dark tool indicates you’re really ready to slide out of endless #1 and #2 duality and shift up into #3 neutral triality or unity or High Heart or Hieros Gamos consciousness and level of being.


      • Well, that’s actually what I mean by “discipline” so thank you. I am hoping to get a job soon that would enable me to join ES and get the Heiros Gamos info. Thank you for the necessary reinforcement.

        • Travis and Denise,
          I have just recently, had a shift within myself to where I am able to just be, and transmute, in terms of the whole victim\victimzer situation. I still do struggle with it but am in a place where I am able to be the compassionate witness. Just in the last couple weeks it hit me. Since then at my place of employment ( I just started working again for the first time in 2 years) I have been attacked my the same old patriarchal males. The first attack effected me greatly. I cried for an hour, I couldn’t stop. That was when the shift happened. The following day it hit me, I just need to let it be. I need to not dwell on the attack and how victimized I was. The next few attempts by the dark to bring me down felt so different. I laughed it off. I knew exactly where it was coming from. I cleared my energy field and sent love to myself and as hard as it was, to the men who attacked me. Since then I have felt lighter, free-er. This shift I believe was assisted by the summer solstice energies and the recent solar flares, I believe anyway. Which in the past 2 summer solstices I felt knocked down and beat up. Depressed for months and months. This year has been different. I am communicating with my higher self and ascension team and it really feels wonderful to have a new perspective, or maybe what I mean is to remember our true perspective. To just transmute and move on…I never thought I could be this way. I am super super sensitive as I have stated in the past. I have cried many tears in my lifetime over the hurt people have caused me with the attacks. This transition in me feels so good. I am very happy with the stair steps I have taken. I have everyone here and my guides to thank!

        • Hi Travis, Denise’s response to you was so Heart-Full and I felt resonance within, especially the importance of fully reclaiming our Power/Sovereignty. I went through quite a few years of deep and intense personal shadow work before I was anywhere near ready to claim ownership of Full Creatorship and Sovereignty. As each of us goes thru a particular energetic, such as personal shadow work, it sets a template for others to grap onto, we are never alone in the process even though it can truly feel like “living hell”, there is no denying that! Granted, we do have to “do it for ourselves”, also no denying that at this time it is all about BE-ing Real, the realness of being a Human(e) Being. Keep up the good work with the heartfelt sharing, we are all co-creator’s at this time and we are creating “new community” here at Transitions, a new template. We are here to assist one another thru our sharings and this Space of Heart-Full Love! I share my ALL-ness with you, My Brother!

  • ‘Second Wavers wrestle with fears of long-term commitments to earthly individuals, groups and even families, because prior to birth, they made commitments to universal purposes and wish to avoid entanglements with lesser issues. They must stay independent, mobile and poised to adapt instantly to whatever Spirit-Creative Force requires of them’

    Thank you Marion! Denise helped me to understand why I have experienced a lot of harm, and you ( in the link you put on in your last post) have just helped me to realize why I am such a loner. I have no family and no partner, have never had a truly loving partner. I am not that awful, honestly and I don’t look that bad!
    I can see how I needed to gain great independence so that I could completely break away from mass thinking. I also could not have been so committed if I had family ties. I am free to give my all to spirit.
    Thank you x

    • Hello Denise and all, Just want to send a thank you Carol b/c I missed Marion’s comment and I needed to hear/read that – or is that something you posted Denise? In any event, I have struggled with commitment my entire life. As a teen, I was at a Native American Indian festival and a Native American elder was reading a poem he had written called “Indian Time”. He talked about how he arrived somewhere, when he arrived. If along the way he saw a beautiful sunset, he would stop and enjoy it, etc. It went on – but the point is – I got it then and from then on I said I ran on “Indian Time”. This was also my intro to Native American spirituality. For most of my life I beat myself up for my issues with commitment, b/c I never fit in. Even setting time to have dinner with a friend was/is a source of stress for me. At this point, I have mostly come to peace with this and cherish this about myself; yet it makes it difficult to participate in 3D for sure. I know that fully into 5D this will be the way things are and I can not tell you how excited I am to be fully immersed into a life of ease and flow and NO concerns about time. Love, Morgean

  • Well, once again, I have to ask, did ya’ll read my private journal?

    I’ve had my full measure of Dark attacks from men and women in the patriarchy. My spouse has too and he just doesn’t realize that these attacks from so many different quarters … right down to a couple of doctors causing his physical disability because of shoddy medical practice … aren’t his fault but the Dark Attack that he and I have been subject to all our lives, and, after we married 9 years ago, seems to have redoubled just because we are together.

    This year I am finishing 60 years on this planet in this lifetime, November 25th is my 60th Solar Return. I am not sure how I feel about this. 60 years fighting this fight is a long long time, I am physically and spiritually tired, and I want the end to be in sight. Is it? I just don’t know.

    What I do know is that I love it that we’re all here together in our virtual “support group”. Invariably, when I come here I find something I needed to hear (OK, read!) I am energized and some of that tiredness shrinks. I think I’d completely lose my mind if Denise and TRANSITIONS weren’t here.

  • Hi Denise.

    You wrote:


    “Because you are one dearest. ♥ Most of us Starseeds/Indigos/Lightworkers are the positive ETs many people talk about that they believe will come to Earth and fix things. Surprise, but we’re already here and have been for decades working behind the scenes, doing what we do for humanity and the Ascension timeline.”

    This is spot on! I’ve not only had that realization that we are the ETs, there are times when I’m aware of myself moonlightning and working behind the scenes. 🙂

    Thank you for acknowledging what I KNOW to be true.


    • I have to agree. This is one of my favorite quotes\comment in Denise’s response. 🙂 Quick question…has anybody else been feeling lots of tingling on the brain skull region? The past few weeks I have had a lot of tingling on the left side and then on the right or vice versa. Also it seems everytime I look at the clock or on a license plate I see 2:22, 3:33, 5:55, 2:34, 4:56 and so forth. I also see 2:53 a ton. I have always seen these numbers pop up since my awaking but it does seem to go through peaks in which it is constant. I would love to know your take on this Denise as well as the others here at Transitions.
      Denise I am exhausted and in pain. If this is not the correct place for this comment I apologize. If you feel there is a more appropriate place for this comment by all means move the commet. I don’t know. I’m so tired…love and hugs to all <3.
      Ha! Just looked up at the clock and it say 1:23!

        • Thank you hamilton for this link. I have read up on these sites on the numerology of it all and the different takes on the meanings behind the numbers. It just that it is happening so much lately. I mean every time I look at the clock it says one of these numbers, EVERY TIME. Also I I see 2:53 quite a bit but mostly the triple numbers and the ascending numbers, 2:34 and such. I guess I was hoping someone here knew more deeply what it meant. I thought maybe there was some other starseed something behind it that maybe someone here knew. When I read the meanings online I’m just not fully satisfied, I feel like there has to be more to it since it is always happening. It must be one of those things our presently human brains can not fully understand quite yet. Although I do feel that my higher self\subconscious mind does know. I’m just an information digger when it comes to spiritual stuff.
          Another thing I wanted to add in regards to Lisa Renee’s recent article and to someone elses comment here. This is slightly off topic but wanted to get it in…I have mentioned before that I was raised in an extremely Southern Baptist Christian home. And although there was the “connecting to something greater then we can see” aspect to religion that I resonated with, there was so much of it that made me cringe. Mostly the way women are represented in the bible and the blatant “judgement of others” religion seemed to harvest. From an early age I knew the truth was in the heavens\stars. I loved astrology. It rang true to me. It made my heart sing. My mother hated it. I was in trouble all the time for reading astrology and things of that nature. It was just something I knew…I knew there was a pattern, a geometry, a rhythm to life. Stars, fractiles, sacred geometry…these things were my religion. Look at a tree, a flower, a baby…these were the things as a child I saw “God” not in what I learned in Sunday school.
          Again Denise if this is way off subject or what not you don’t have to post of course. I just feel all my life no one cared to hear these things or would think I was looney tunes, and in this place i feel so safe to discuss these things… FINALLY! People (or aliens, heehee) who understand me! Love and hugs to all! Xoxo!

          One more thing Hamilton, the link you posted, I have not seen yet and is quite good. The most informative one yet. Thank you so very much!

      • Yes Faye, I have had the tingling in the skull region and also sometimes it extends down thru that side of the body. I don’t open myself up to any outside energies, so it is some type of continuing recalibration. I just always ask my Ultimate Self if it is paying attention and then I will recieve my answer. Also, a good friend and myself , as of late, are commenting on all those number sequences once again appearing on quite a regular basis. Since this feels to be outside of myself, I tend to just chuckle and ignore it, at this time not sure of the validity of this for myself. So many of us with the continuing exhaustion and for myself, severe sinus symptoms which I usually would not experience at this time of year, its that vice squeezing energy. Once again, checked within and was told a reason for why this is occuring which about 50 % helps deal with it! lol Hope you are soon feeling better Faye! My thought’s are with you!

      • Dear Faye & Denise:
        I’m having aches & pains & am absolutely exhausted… also some dizziness and incoordination with the legs. I always had sensitivity to solar flares, etc… but lately we’ve had a big X-class Coronal Mass Ejection from the sun, which is one of the biggest, and affects the weather, communications and people. However, during this 3-day period of its ejection, traveling and arrival on Earth, I was awakened three nights in a row in the wee hours, had to get up, and received HUGE downloads of information for several hours, about adjustments to my Soul Mission and info for my newsletter, all because, we are in the Final Phase of moving into 5-D and everything we’ve been doing and being needs to be adjusted for that.
        Yesterday, 4 sunspots merged into one huge spot, and combusted, and are on their way to affect Venus & Earth by July 19th-20th, so more “stuff” like this is coming. Hang on for the ride! We’ll make it. Anyone else having these experiences?
        Denise… loved your recent post. I’ve been getting some similar information, too. Hugs, to all… Marilyn

        • Marilyn,

          Because the Sun plays such an important role in the Ascension Process for Earth, humanity and all life on her, the entire solar system and beyond, I added Spaceweather.com in my LINKS section. I check it every day to see what’s currently happening via the Sun.

          Certain people have been saying for a long time that in 2012 we’d enter another “solar maximum” which makes sense at the end of the Ascension Process. The Sun and Earth’s magnetic field and our individual magnetic fields are and will continue to be hammered by the Galactic energies and those energies being transmitter to and through our Sun also. It’s all to get us and our DNA to evolve to the next level.


  • Denise,
    Thank you so much for this amazingly timed and informative response. My heart is so full reading your response as well as others. I am so happy to see so many of us relating because as we all know in “real” life it does get really lonely in regards to these types of experiances. Like you Denise most of the attacks towards me have been “powerful” patriarical males and the occasionally female with the patriarical energies. For many years older males scared me. And again like you I have 4 maybe planets in Libra. Saturn being one along with ruler of my ASC. I have Pisces moon and Aries Pisces Cusp which I am sure lends itself to my being so sensitive. Lisa Renee’s article and your reponse were extermely enlightening to say the least.
    I have not yet read all the comments, which I am looking forward to. But wanted to get a response in. Thank you everyone for the support and Denise there are no words to express the gratitude and love I feel for all the help you have given to us. The first time I laid eyes upon this sight I knew something very special was in front of me and boy was I right! Such support and love here I am humbled and empowered. Love and hugs to all!

    • faye1234,

      I’m so glad to hear from you — I was hoping you’d eventually see your question, my reply, and the numerous really wonderful Comments by so many who’ve felt exactly the same way too. Thank you for giving all of us the opportunity to better discuss this VERY common Starseed/Lightworker/Indigo issue. ♥

      Gratitude Hugs,

      • Denise, How do we know exactly who we are? Ive always known that I was different and I can so identify with all these writings and posts. But seems like everyone knows their place or who they are or what they are but I do not. I would like help with this. Thankyou so very much. In Love and Light, Caroline

        • “Denise, How do we know exactly who we are? Ive always known that I was different and I can so identify with all these writings and posts. But seems like everyone knows their place or who they are or what they are but I do not. I would like help with this. Thankyou so very much. In Love and Light, Caroline”

          Caroline H.,

          Not every Starseed or Lightworker or Indigo knows who they are or where they came from and exactly what their Soul Mission or job on Earth now is. Some of us do have conscious memories or awareness or a draw to certain other Star systems and/or Galaxies and dimensions as our Home stations, but the majority of us don’t remember these things. What every Starseed, Lightworker, Indigo does remember so strongly and constantly that it’s nearly unbearable is that everything about Earth reality and humanity is wrong, negative, corrupt, greedy, violent, insane, distorted etc. We KNOW this because we feel it all in ourselves because the contrast to what’s “normal” to us is the exact opposite from everything on Earth! This is why we have such a difficult time understanding negativity in any form; it’s completely alien to us and vice versa.

          In the end it doesn’t matter all that much whether or not we Starseeds, Lightworkers, Indigos know or remember what Ray we came from, what higher dimensional Star system we came from, which Galaxy we came from, or if we came from a realm of Light etc. etc. You KNOW you’re from elsewhere if living on Earth has made you feel horrible and endangered because humanity, and especially those who’ve run this planet, have been so interfered with by Negatives that they’ve forgotten who they are! You see, everyone has forgotten who they really are — including the Negatives/Team Dark — so we’re all in a Process of remembering that we all are aspects of God/Source/All That Is. 🙂


        • Thank for this response Denise and for the whole article, it resonated so much with me. I always had this feeling I was from somewhere else and never really like being here on Earth because of all the negativity. I too do not know where I come from but I am pretty sure I am not from here. I have also been “attacked” with negativity a lot of my life and could never understand why because I always knew I was a good and kind person. I love coming here and just knowing there are other people that feel the exact same way because in every day life you don’t come across people who understand. Thank you very much for just being you Denise 🙂

        • I just found this site and all the comments. Its really wonderful when I realized Im not the only one and there is encouragement here.Blessings in Love and Light

    • Denise: Oh, yes, I get Spaceweather.com, also. An amazing. site. Thank you so very much for all you’re doing for us. Must be a tremendous job to keep track of all these marvelous posts. I feel more “connected” with kindred souls than ever before. Love, Marilyn

  • Hi Denise and All Here:

    In the last few days, I have been impulsed to start preparing for the end of this “Certain Starseed’s Contract”, which will be at the end of this year, no doubt on December 22, 2012, which is my birthday. So in my thinking, I am being guided to the idea that it is through timelines that we’ll take our exit from this 3D version of Earth and it seems we have a choice. We can either participate in the new and improved version, or New Earth as some are calling it, or we can return to our home star bases, or we can do both, by being aware that as a result of all time being Now, and because it’s only a matter of vibrational frequency that keeps us from accessing any timeline we want, we will consciously be able to do both at once, or if some choose to do so, to flip back and forth between the two just like that old radio dial we’ve heard so much about. Surely, this is what our work towards Unity Consciousness has been about, not only opening the door to uniting humanity, but uniting us all multidimensionally so that we can experience each part of our Higher Selves in conscious awareness. Anyway, I’ll keep this short, but for now just wanted to put this out there in case there are other Starseeds who are wondering just how in the heck do we get off this planet when we know, as Marilyn, has stated words to the effect that we’ve already done our job and that the timelines are, and have always been, fully operational! So much for frequency fences! I’ve been advised by the Arcturians that as we get closer to the end of this year, our codes will be activated so that we will “know” how to make our leap should we choose to do so. Would love some feedback on this, and in the meantime, keep vibing high. Love to All Here.

    • Hi Denise and All Here:

      You just got to love the synchronicity. Barbara Marciniak’s P’s gave me definite feedback in their newsletter as posted by Denise just moments after, maybe even at the same time, as I was writing my above comment. The P’s say:

      “While you are living on Earth, other parts of your consciousness can also be simultaneously living on Earth during various periods of time, while other aspects are focused in the nonphysical worlds of spirit and the vastness of the cosmic mind…

      It continues to amaze and inspire me how we are supported in this most amazing process. The trick now is to become aware of the “other parts”.

      I keep seeing “buckle up and hang on” and I’m taking that very seriously as we head into the end of the nanosecond.

      Thanks, Denise, and All Here. Love, B.

  • Warm Tears rolling down my face as i was reading this post. Again being reminded that i am not alone in this Journey Home. Looking back at these last 12 years i feel like i have experienced many lifetimes in one. So much pain and suffering. So many tears and lonesome nights. So much judgment and lies. So much hate and love…. Since a young girl i have always been drawn to people that was lost in the dark. I always shined my light into my troubled friends and boyfriends. I knew my presence would be nourishing and warm to all that suffered. I didn’t personally know hate, pain or suffering until 12 years ago when my awakening was triggered.
    Today , I am tired. I am bruised.
    In my heart i know that i am a Princess From The Stars….
    But in my body i feel like an old woman that has been terroriced, used and abused into her silence.
    Being reminded in my relationships that as a woman all i should do is smile, cook and be beautiful. Support my man in all his dreams as i wither away.
    No one wants to hear my wisdom from the past….i thought to myself. No one cares.

    Breathing into the Earth
    Grounding with my Presence

    Deep pain from feeling that my relationships Never recognized my shining presence in my heart. My divine presence was ignored. I spent over 10 years trying to make them see who i was….cause they only saw my flesh. Realizing that the men in my life was used by the dark ones to really make me feel worthless and insignificant as a woman.

    I am Eternally grateful for all children , nature and animals as they have been my love and support.

    Thank you for creating a safe and loving “home away from home” where we can connect and share.

    With Love from the Stars

  • Thank you.
    My past life reading said I had lived through a very harsh karmic cycle as I wanted to’ tidy it up’, which set me off on the self judgement thing. However the worse stuff seemed to have been paying my father’s. Karma. However I found out, was helped to break offff the links and the more aggressive stuff did stop. Why was I doing my father’s? Is this the transmutation role?
    When I first awoke, I was attacked repeatedly by negative energies and had to be rescued at one point. I also suffered a psychic attack by some psychics who said I needed healing. They had punched open my heart chakra and I ended up being taken out of body to a type of spirit hospital. They fixed me up, don’t know what they did. I blamed myself for this also. It was as if something wished to take me out and I even seemed to have a special guide who was seen around at these times.
    Now, as you have stated, it is as soon as I feel happy and my energy starts to expand. Almost as if I have hit some kind of an invisible ceiling. It is the timing that made me suspicious. I have been blaming it on higher self and become very frightened. Like you, I am terribly sensitive. My hear goes out to anyone undergoing this.
    Denise, or anyone, have you heard of anyone transmuting the Earth’s’ crap’? Literally?
    18 months ago, I kept feeling like I was being poisoned. I would spend several days feeling toxic, like a total body/mind/spirit hangover. I was not truly ill, was not taking any substances and it would lift, leaving a peaceful feeling. It became worse and I kept wondering what it was when someone came in a deep meditation and told me I had agreed to anchor the Earth’s energies, that I could stop if I wished and it was my choice entirely. I managed for another 6 months, then I had one that lasted almost 2 weeks. I asked for it to stop..and it did. How strange is that?
    Denise, thank you so much for helping us all. It is such a relief to be able to talk about this stuff. I am so bought on ‘I must have been a torturer/abuser’ that it will be hard to break out of this, I am trying to process it.. But, I have copied what you have put and I will keep reading it, keep trying to let go of the matrix illusion. I am in your debt..
    I rather think the cause is the archons, hidden rulers of humanity. It is the matrix, the non physical aspect of the control system dominating the planet, the dark entities that have infected the astral and etheric realms which we were warned about by the ancient Gnostic seers. I have been researching this and the evidence is stacking up. I have had synchronicities regarding COBRA. This stuff empowers me as I am one of a group of workers undertaking weekly meditations to try and break this matrix. I post the main link but please just leave it if anyone feels it may make them feel worse in any way.
    Hugs and love xxxx

    Fall of the Archons Video – Portal 2012

    American Kabuki: PORTAL 2012: Clarification about the State of …

  • You are correct. However, and I hope that this is solitude for those TRUE Hybrids out there, because these are those having the worst integration time and a hell and a handbasket for beatings, abuses, or downright being hunted as prey. A51 aside, the Govt doesnt like hybrids as a whole and will do anything go get rid of them, XMEN style, if any of you have seen the movies. Now, Im just the opposite, but in this life, in this place, with these finite resources, I can only do so much. Get me a Starship or a castle, however, I will do what I can. For those that havent experienced this, good on you, we need your support. You just dont know what its like otherwise, this endless torture FOR BEING WHO WE ARE…mental, physical, verbal…you describe it well. For both sexes. Thank you. Namaste.

  • In line with some of the recent comments here, I am finding that as we are starting to clear away the grime thru the “dark dusty window” and clearly seeing the creational gifts of this cosmic experieince, at the same time the opposing forces are coming right in to cause a disturbance field. Polarity is quite extreme and getting more and more extreme as we go along as it is time to unify itself once again. This opposing faction can be quite sublte and read us to find those energetics that we are clearly seeing and feeling in their fullnes once again and then try to cause an opposing disturbance in us. I have to be honest, there are times when I am in that disturbance field and think for the millionth time, I can’t do this anymore, but am finding that it is passing much more quickly then in the past and then Boom, here we go again. An example is my Love for True Organic Nature and the animal kingdom. I care for an outdoor cat tribe and these inorganic forces who cannot feel Organic Love will use that to try to get me to fall out of my Full Return to Cosmic Creator Status, the fullness and trueness on my Beingness. The disturbances make one quite weary, the constant “darkness before the dawn” scenario and I find I have to be fully vigilant and aware of all that is transpiring around me. So yes, am I weary, quite so, but also I know this is the most important phase of this whole evolutionary experience so I will “Keep On, Keepin On” because I know in my heart the “battle” is close to finishing and however you define this battle, there is no denying that Higher Organic Love will prevail as it is the True Cosmic Stucture of this entire Experience! I have deep respect for Denise who has maintained this blog thru all these trying times because she has gone thru the disturbances much more severely in her life than I have as we all have different and unique paths, so once again, a big Thank You to Denise and to all those sharing comments!

  • Denise, thanks for another excellent article that I’d swear was written just for me! My Ascension symptoms (fatigue and depression) are still severe, and I’m still detoxing rapidly both physically and emotionally. Lately I’ve been feeling very done with the 3-D world, and very out of place here I’ve also been feeling quite discouraged about the way my life is right now. I’ve lost interest in anything having to do with my 3-D future, and I had thought that this was a symptom of depression. After reading your articles I realize that it’s merely a part of my current Ascension path.

    Thanks so much for what you wrote about the “princess and the pea” experiences that you’ve been having! I’ve always been very sensitive, but my usual sensitivity is nothing compared to what I’ve been experiencing in recent weeks. Coping with this has been a big challenge for me. Once again I had thought that there was something wrong with me, and I’m glad to learn that it is merely another part of my current Ascension path.


  • Same here, very religious Jehova’s Witness family vs a sensitive and emotional child that has visions and is gay and has other “normal” siblings to add contrast! LOL! It’s funny now but I genuinely wanted to die for years of the emotional pain and longing for acceptance and peace. The wonderful thing is as my parents got older they got more accepting overall and easy going of everyone in general. I just realized I forced them to grow by just being who I naturally am and have felt guilty for it all these years for it. Goes to show you how being your true self is so very important.

    I’ve felt that occasional feeling of wanting to go back to where I belong. I strongly appreciate nature, crystals, aquatic life, humor and love and these things somehow create a longing for, or maybe remind me of something that I can never place my finger on. Almost as if a forgotten memory left an irregular emotional impression that is felt occasionally by the heart but not the brain. Like passing a dark dusty window with heavy closed curtains and catching a glimpse of warm golden sunlight..

  • dearest ones…when reading lady faye1234 comments was like I was reading comments of my own life! is uncany how all Indigos/Starseeds lives are almost the same and you/we think that something is “very wrong with me”…thank you so much for sharing such personal details with the rest of us (to quote) my late exhusband “lunatics”…to all of you,

  • hi denise and all,
    thankz 4 this blog, the last months it has been so enlightening and a great source of comfort and encouragement.
    I am a 28 year old capricorn male, been through plenty of that negative and ongoing and def. going through this ascention process. I know where I am headed and my question to you all is this….

    What will happen to all the people, the tools, the zombies and everyone else out there who are insensitive and residing in a negative polarity and destroying the planet?
    What’s going to happen to them? They make me sick, they make me want to quit life so bad, it’s no fun out there, my perception of negativity has increased.
    Also I have a very hard time feeling compassion for the people who just seem empty and dead inside and bent on destruction, I often secretly hope that they get what they deserve, somehow I want them to suffer for being so unconscious but that makes me feel terrible because I try to respect and love all life and want to feel connected and one with them.
    So many channeled messages are all about everyone ascending together, a new age of love where everyone suddenly starts loving each other and nature and we reach a time of spiritual growth, when I look around me…I don’t see it happening, I see rather mind control increasing, more slavery, more destruction, more zombie-like behaviour.
    Mass mindcontrol and manipulation is ever prevalent, distortion of energies, forces are having a feeding frenzy.
    So as I become more aware and bring more light, it seems my friends and family are not and do not, they are still the same, the gap between my spiritual life and society around me grows. We have to survive in this world right and experience joy too?
    Maybe you could please if you have time give me your view on the rest of humanity who do not visit this site and are not system busters and are not aware of the maya/glamour.
    Do ‘they’ just carry on hurting and abusing innocent good people and each other and seemingly have fun while they are at it?
    I can’t get a straightforward answer from my guides except that I feel humbled and shown that I cannot see the greater plan at this time and therefore cannot judge.
    Thanku again,
    Love and peace from amsterdam.

    • Ian,

      Have you ever tried to have a mature, honest, decent conversation with someone whose drunk? With someone whose mentally ill? With someone whose in an emotional rage? It’s impossible so stop trying. Those people are NOT your concern now — you are. Work on and focus on you and your spiritual evolutionary Ascension Process because, believe it or not, that is how you/me/each of us really helps other people. We make their Process a bit easier and faster for them because we’ve done our own inner work. 😉

      The increase of negativity and insanity and violence you’re seeing, we’re all seeing because it is increasing and it will continue to for the rest of this year. These incoming Ascension-related cosmic, solar, and galactic energies affect lower frequencies, lower consciousness, lower awareness etc. in VERY intense ways that make them feel as miserable as the Dark makes us feel. Get it? The shoe’s on the other foot now, and the people who are damaged and imbalance due to the Negatives interference etc. are in increasing pain and torment due to the increase in Light Energies raining down on the planet and all life on it. Many of these people won’t be able to remain in their physical bodies with that level of damage caused by the Negatives or Team Dark and will exit them. Others will go mad, and others are trying to kill everyone else!

      It’s going to get wild for a bit as these evolutionary energies compress down to the final months of this Process but the way to get through this transition is to remain in the higher awareness and Heart and not allow yourself to get pulled down by anyone or anything. I know, very well, how hard that actually is until one has gotten far enough into neutrality or High Heart consciousness/being. Then it’s much easier, but until then don’t focus on the people that make you crazy and frustrated because it only slows you down and distracts you from being in a higher frequency place and state of being and awareness yourself.

      As far as the rest of humanity that you mentioned, they will be drawn along energetically with us because we’re carving the Pathway to a higher, better world for them. If they’re able to embody these higher frequencies, they will follow along behind those of us further along those energy Stair Steps I mention all the time. We are not to carry them, we are to create a NEW Pathway energetically for them all, which we’ve done and still are doing, and if they can cope with those higher energies in their physical bodies they will follow the Pathway.

      I’m getting tired and my back is killing me so I hope this made sense. 🙂


      • Thanku so much denise and mrchefjeff for your replies!
        This is very helpful to me! I am filled with gratitude, I guess I just have to carry on again as usual. Thanks denise for all your hard work!

    • Ian, I’d just like to reply that the reason you are not seeing the greater plan is that We are now Full Creators of the Greater Plan which we are Creating on a moment by moment basis. We have been given this opportunity since the end of Calleman’s Mayan Calender this past October. I, like yourself, was trying to see the greater plan “outside of myself” and then had that “aha” moment, WE are now Fully Creating, once again, on the True Organic Timeline! I also agree with Denise (I couldn’t fully understand what was to happen to the rest of humanity as you stated), we are Creating the Path for the rest of humanity to follow as fellow Creators, if they so choose. Hope this helps, My Friend!

    • haha Ian. I am 28 yr old Taurus. I feel many feelings like you. I also am an indigo. I am having a rough time in this life. I have read all these blogs. I relate 100% to all of them. I am friends with another indigo and she is a walk in. she didn’t have a traumatic birth like me. I’ve met one guy who was a possible angel or else a highly evolved indigo or perhaps even a violet flame. He was higher than me. I could tell it right away. I feel like more women are awakening faster?? maybe I’m wrong?? maybe someone else could respond on this? Ian, I wishd you lived in the U.S. so I could meet you. I’d love to have a guy friend who was an indigo child. I’ve been to amsterdam once! Peace and love, Brandi

  • Dear Denise,
    What a wonderful idea… Starseed Connection! I earlieer commented, and reading these others today made me feel so “connected”. I had many spiritual friends and groups over the years, but when we moved here to be near family in later years, most old friends were either passed over, in nursing homes or ill, and those who weren’t__ hadn’t changed at all in 25 years! They still did the same, talked about and criticized the same things. I felt so “out of it”, as if dropped into a 25 year-old timeline!
    I’m 80 years old now__ born in the Great Depression, grown up with WWII and the Cold War, waiting for the “bomb” __ I was an “Adult Indigo”. Often now I’m still over-whelmed with despair and disgust for the negative, hate-filled humans we so often see/hear about in the media and around us at times, and the male domination and harrassment over the decades. Yes, I noted that women couldn’t “make it” in the man’s world unless they behaved men. We’re here to change that, but it often seems futile. Thank heavens for our Guides and for people like you!
    Other comments triggered old memories. I, too, am hassling with my own “negativities” more than usual. I thought I’d cleared and released childhood, adult and past-life wounds, but recently recalled episodes with Group Work. Each in itself did not seem too awful, but when viewed in sequence, a repeating pattern was shown, and that’s what I’m now dealing with.
    As a child, I thought I was on “the wrong planet”, and had “the wrong parents”, I’d go nights, hold my arms up to the stars and cry out: “I want to go home!”, not knowing what “Home” was. In adulthood, I formed &/or led various community service or spiritual groups, and some of the members’ husbands… most of whom I’d never met… insisted that their wives stay away from me__ as if I had something “catching”. Well, I guess maybe it did, as years later, I’d hear that some of those wives left their husbands! I never said or did anything to encourage that; we never even discussed it.
    A few days ago I put my bi-monthly newsletter online, and yesterday checked it AGAIN to be sure links worked, etc…. and found glaring typos, missing words, and many distorted links not working anymore. Normally, I’d blame myself, but thanks to the Guides and all of you, I now know it was intentionally done by the “down & dirties”. It’s not the first time. The most recent harrassment has been from corporations… banks, credit cards, website hosts, National sports groups, PayPal and on and on. It’s not just coincidence. Thanks again… can’t wait for the next post. Hugs, Marilyn

    • Marilyn La Croix,

      How wonderful to hear from an Elder Starseed Indigo “System Buster” to borrow Barbara Marciniak’s Pleiadians great name for our kind. I just read your Comment to my 82-year-old mom who is, like you, an Elder Starseed Indigo “System Buster”. She was very happy to hear what you said and I know she’s glad to have another connection with someone from her generation that’s conscious of who they are and why their here now too. ♥

      One of my earliest Starseed memories was when I was five and sitting outside having a VERY serious and unhappy discussion with The Sky (my Home station and my other-dimensional kinsfolk who remained there to help me while I’m down here). I remember being very upset and convinced that there had been some terrible mistake because I was back down here on Earth again. I said to The Sky the same words you did; I angrily informed The Sky that my parents were NOT my parents, that Earth was NOT my “home”, and that the humans here were violent, untrustworthy, mentally and emotionally unbalanced, and that they scared me very much. I demanded that The Sky get me back HOME asap because I wasn’t going to stay down here on Earth.

      After stating my feelings to The Sky about my being on Earth, The Sky talked back to me and explained all sorts of things about how we all knew I’d feel this way once I was down here and that They would do all They could to help me, guide me, and assist me to accomplish what I came here to do. I don’t know how much actual time passed during this conversation, but from my perspective, it was a very long conversation and They worked very hard trying to convince me that it would all work out in the end and that I’d adapt to being on Earth again blah, blah, blah. 🙄 It was a very difficult moment for me because I knew They were right but it didn’t change the fact that humanity was crazy and violent and untrustworthy etc. and I still wanted to go Home. And here we still are all these decades later…but like They reminded at age five, it is all working out in the end! 😉 🙂

      Thank you for breaking ground for my generation of Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigos to come in behind those rare few like you who consciously remembered that they came from elsewhere to Earth to do something very, very important for All. ♥

      Gratitude Hugs,

      • Thank you,Denise, for your helpful and gracious reply to my “old indigo wants out” comment. So good to know there are others of my generation walking the same path. I was only 3 years old when I left a toy where my 1 1/2 yr. old little sister fell on it and cut her nose, leaving a tiny scar. I suddenly “knew” that somehow, I had some sort of responsibility for the people of this world. I reached puberty at 11 1/2, and received all “grown up” gifts at Christmas Very lovely gifts I was happy to get, but that night I began sobbing my heart out without really understanding why. It was 1943, and I sensed the coming atomic bombs and revelations of the Holocaust victims, and I couldn’t take it. (I often had hazy prophecies, which I couldn’t understand fully because of my youth.) My childhood was over: I somehow realized that I had reached the moment where I had to deliberately “take on” my contract and help re-program the consciousness of earthlings… a daunting a task for an 11 year old.
        But my Art, Music and love of Nature, and getting “messages” from inside myself helped me through. No doubt others of the “First Wave” have had similar experiences. So great to meet you all… Bless each and every one of us. Love, Marilyn

    • Marylin, as a sister and fellow galactic representative, here on this earth and 3rd dimensional reality, I would like to honour you and your presence here. Thank you for your bravery, endurance, committment and unstoppability. Bless you my benevolent elder. Yours respectfully. Katerina.

      • Dear Katrina, Thank you for your love and respect (which seems hard to get from many current youth, LOL… but there are wonderful exceptions to that.) Recently my Guides told me that I had to expect the harrassments, etc. due to my having chosen this particular spiritual path, and with national corporations doing much of the harrassment, it means that I AM making some difference in the world, after all__ or “they” wouldn’t be that concerned. My youngest son teaches middle school, and he says many of his students are so brilliant, so thoughtful and compassionate… more so these past few years than ever before. And I see my own family are “waking up”… they have always been good-hearted people, but now they “see” things they couldn’t before… are “talking back” to the TV news broadcasters or politicians, for example. Makes me laugh. Yes, I think we ARE making headway, although we often don’t see it in front of our faces. Love, Marilyn

        • Marilyn,

          “it means that I AM making some difference in the world, after all__ or “they” wouldn’t be that concerned.”

          My God Marilyn, I think you have made and are making MORE than a difference!! I havn’t stopped thinking about you and what you must have been through, since reading your post. You are SO inspiring and my heart was so touched. Loads of kudos to you Marilyn. As Neytiri says to Jake in “Avatar” “I see you”. With respect. Katerina

        • Thank you, Katerina, You made my day. It is so wonderful to find kindred spirits like you and the other Starseeds, and know that we are not alone in this most exciting and “interesting” (as the Chinese curse goes) period in Earth’s history. We are finishing several cycles of history… one of about 13,000 years, since the end of Atlantis, when our civilization had to reboot. We are living in a “fourth Atlantis”, attempting to resolve the problems begun by the Atlanteans. It’s wonderful to see how many dear Lightworkers. of all ages…. are helping to bring this resolution about. Actually, WE HAVE MADE IT! Hugs, Marilyn

        • Thank you, Katerina,
          It is wonderful to have some feed-back now and then. Some of us do our spiritual “work” alone so often, that there are few either negative or positive responses
          returning to us. I am dearly cherishing this Starseed Contract group and the similarities in personal past experiences that lie behind our individual and group missions. You “Light Up My Life” and propel me onward and upward with your generous comments. Hugs ,Marilyn

  • Denise….so blessed to have gotten ‘tuned in’ to you and your path, and to feel you next to me on mine (and all of us) for whom the task calls! I’m always calmed and soothed (sort of feels like an emotional and mental massage) after reading your pearls of wisdom! Sending you lots of light and love! Claren

  • Hi Denise and everyone. First I want to encourage people to seek support if you need it. I decided to explore the “protection” drops that boost your own inner protection system and I have been moving thru challenges lickety split.

    I believe I met my first “dead eyed” person. I am beginning to believe she was put in place to fuck up my life and many others. I take certain meds and I get them thru what is called the patient assistance program for low income people… I don’t pay anything. This “girl” was hired to replace the woman I have interacted with for years. This woman fucked up the program for me and who knows how many people. I was forced into withdrawal from one drug, but ironically the cheapest drug which replaced thyroid hormone also got fucked up and it hurts me the most to go without it. Yes, I can go pay for this one because it is so cheap. You wouldn’t think anything could go wrong, would you? Well with TD anything can! My prescriptions got so screwed that I became a irritable angry bitch which is what happens when I don’t get the hormone! I can’t believe what I went thru!

    And then there was this intense attraction to this man that seemed to reach huge levels of intensity insde of me and caused me problems on a feeling level.

    Suffice it to say that incoporating the drops along with other safegurads, things began to move to completion quickly1 Oh yeah, the drops assist with psychic protection. I decided to try them when I began having disturbing dreams. I do not have awareness at all when I dream…. nothing like Denise. I just live them but wake knowing that I the dreams were not “right”. My dreams and my sleep began to improve immediately. And with Denise’s permission I will post the website here. The read on these drops gives the impression that “it does it for you” but I don’t believe anything can do it for you, but it can boost and help areas just as flower essences assist and so on.

    Oh, and my life has been just like the letter Denise uses for the article only I was so young I just became totally lost and stuck in the BS that everything was my fault and something was very wrong with me and my life was a living hell. I became a recluse so I didn’t face many people attacks but always had big problems with people and my sensitivity.

    What’s up for me now is anger and I feel much less inclined to be tolerant and want to call people on their bullshit. Oh, and I am taking a group therapy class based on the Buddha called Dialectic Behaviorial Therapy DBT because I am so sensitive I get lost in my emotions and lose access to my rational mind let alone any other higher aspect. Many awesome interpersonal tools and techniques. Disregard the label of mental illness and check it out, there are many workbooks out there. And of course I do ask my guides and so on and so forth. Hope some of my story helps.

    Oh and here is the website for the protection essence if Denise allows: Notice it says “ASSISTS” Multilevel Protection Blend

    A vibrational tincture that will assist in not only strengthening your physical energy field, but your emotional, mental and etheric bodies as well.

    Contains multicolored yarrow flower essence, black tourmaline elixir,
    Violet Fire elixir and DK’s 12 Rays of Creation blend and other selected crystal elixirs.

    Take 2-4 drops under the tongue as often as you’re guided


  • Thank you so much! I drove home from my easy, well paying job yesterday, crying yet again “What’s wrong with me!? I feel so darkened and depressed after one easy day at work!” It’s exactly like you said; the more Light I bring in, the more I clear old stuff, the more sensitive I feel to the dark, and I’m always asking what’s wrong with me. It’s like I’m more and more sensitive as I strive to clear and heal ego patterns, and all that old stuff, and bring in more Light! I never expected that. I thought I’d have more and more equilibrium, rather than feeling more sensitive and vulnerable! No matter how much I ask Divine help and place protection around me, it feels like I feel in my own body every tiny ripple of dark energy around me, and there’s plenty out there, and spend every minute I have off work trying to clear and release and claw my way back to a higher clearer frequency again. It’s exhausting and overwhelming, and I feel lost and alone down here so much of the time. Thank you for giving us this opportunity to share the hard side of this journey, and having the courage to speak the Truth! Gigi

    • “I thought I’d have more and more equilibrium, rather than feeling more sensitive and vulnerable!…”


      I expected the same thing but got the Princess & the Pea business instead! Having said that, I need you to know that eventually you do start feeling less of this because you/me/each of us is in the Process of shifting even more into High Heart or Unity consciousness which is a neutral state of knowing, feeling, and being but it’s not as painful and uncomfortable. I sense this only gets better the farther we evolve into it so hang in there because it does get easier and much better.


  • Dearest Denise

    You truly are an angel, descended from the heavenly planes!

    Thank you for the post. It was bang on cue! I was really having to hold on, with all of my flagging strength this morning and for the first time, had a real problem doing my morning rituals ie, declarations, intentions etc. The one thing that has helped a lot is my Indigo cat, which I bought for a £1.00 a couple of weeks ago. I take her everywhere with me as a reminder of my truth and mission. As the world continues to become crazier by the second and there is so much disinformation, distortion and misunderstanding, etc out there, regarding what we are experiencing, at this time, plus the fact that we are having to continuously appear INCOGNITO(!!!!!!!), takes inconceivable amounts of endurance, humility and self-belief. Thank you for reminding us as to why we are here. God bless you all. Thank you Denise and all for your courage and input. Love. Katerina.

    • Well said Kat. Thx. It truly takes a lot of energy to present to others – as you said – incognito. I so look forward to the day we don’t have to hide any longer. Morgean

  • This post triggered a huge bout of deep, deep crying, because it sounded like my life, like me. I thought it was all karma, that I had bullied and harmed everyone in existence in a previous incarnation and decided to balance it all in this one. It bcomes impossible to like oneself because of this. I have come through so much, but When ever I reach a place of peace something bad happens. I call it the ‘harming cycle’ and I have been in it for 4 years, since I started to awake. Trouble is though, some of it may well be karma, it has a particular energy. How to tell I wonder, where it is coming from and avoid putting blame on other beings, I wonder?
    Thank you Denise x

    • “This post triggered a huge bout of deep, deep crying, because it sounded like my life, like me. I thought it was all karma, that I had bullied and harmed everyone in existence in a previous incarnation and decided to balance it all in this one. It bcomes impossible to like oneself because of this. I have come through so much, but When ever I reach a place of peace something bad happens. I call it the ‘harming cycle’ and I have been in it for 4 years, since I started to awake. Trouble is though, some of it may well be karma, it has a particular energy. How to tell I wonder, where it is coming from and avoid putting blame on other beings, I wonder?
      Thank you Denise x”

      Carol & All,

      Thank you so much for sharing this Carol, and I’m going to utilize what you’ve said to expand upon this very important topic. It is what you’re calling your “harming cycle” and what’s really behind it…and it ain’t karmic!

      Before I get into that, I want you to know that the super potent energies being transmitted to and through our Sun are very high energies to help us all transmute and release WHATEVER KARMA WE HAVE. This is a very long and complex topic so I’m going to tear through it in very simplified ways to get this point across better.

      The Ascension symptoms we all have like the hot flashes, the kundalini risings, the aches and pains etc. are caused by us living through our karma, our residual unresolved stuck energies/emotions/wounds/karma etc. literally being burned in the Alchemical Ascension fires being transmitted to humanity through our Sun (the solar flares, CMEs, solar storms, solar winds etc. etc.). The Ascension Process is us transmuting the lower frequencies within us (and Starseeds/Lightworkers/Indigos do it also for humanity, Earth, ETs, Angelics etc.) while embodying the new higher frequency energies to anchor them into this dimension and timeline as the new blueprints for the rest of humanity.

      Point is that in this life and time of multiple cosmic cycles all completing now (12-21-12), humanity needed help to transmute and release all “karma” from all timelines and “past” lives etc. to be clear and free to enter this next higher rung on the cosmic evolutionary ladder. That help has been and still is coming in the form of solar activities primarily but also cosmic and galactic energies. Whatever karma any of us had or still has is literally being burned to nothingness via these solar energies and galactic and cosmic energies. It’s all part of this Ascension Process so please, everyone, let go of any belief in karmic debts etc. The next hot flash you have, I want you all to be consciously aware of the fact that that kundalini hot flash is triggered by the Sun’s intense cosmic/galactic energies to help you/me/each of us totally release any and all karma. 🙂

      Okay, back to your “harming cycle” awareness.

      I vividly remember the first time I became fully conscious that I was, in some strange way, being restricted and controlled by unseen energies. I was in my mid twenties when this awareness dawned fully for me. I didn’t understand it all back then and I didn’t know who was behind it (Team Dark – the Negatives – negative Alien Beings from other dimensions), but I sure as hell felt it and was acutely aware of it all.

      Like you Carol, I too became aware that every time I began feeling happy, feeling upbeat, feeling empowered in a very positive and joyful way, some big negative something would automatically and within hours show up in my life. Like clockwork this stuff happened repeatedly over the years until I finally connected enough of the unseen dots to realize that I was existing with an invisible Frequency Fence exactly like a dog with one of those collars on that gets zapped every time it tries to go past the invisible electric fence line!

      After getting zapped by the unseen negative Frequency Fence repeatedly every time I got too happy (how utterly fucked is that!?), I realized that it wasn’t all me but that some type of Happiness Police existed in the unseen realms that kept track of us humans in 3D. It was much easier for me to understand the concept of mind control as a planetary Frequency Fence on humanity, than it was for me to grasp that this same control existed emotionally too to keep humanity existing within a very narrow range of frequency.

      But…after a couple decades of experiencing this “harming cycle” sort of Frequency Fence myself every single time I got feeling too happy and would quickly get hit back down into a stunned passive and more monotone emotional state by the invisible Negative’s control devices, I realized that we’re controlled very tightly both mentally through our beliefs, thoughts etc. and through our emotions.

      It wasn’t that I or you or any one of us did anything wrong or bad or karmic etc., it’s been about the Negatives keeping us within a specific frequency range in both our thoughts and our emotions. Like I said, every time we’re tried to escape that invisible Frequency Fence we’d get zapped and retreat back to a safe zone within that space. This is how humanity has been contained by Team Dark and this is us breaking through their numerous Frequency Fences and letting others know it’s safe to cross the unseen but well-known fence line finally. 😉

      Thanks for giving me a great way to expand upon this whole topic Carol and forget about karma because you’re burning it off at record speed and have been for years. We all have, and these final six months of this Process will be super fast and intense with this and more so just have those hot flashes and let it go… 😀


      • wooow, the frequency fence, this is exactly how I refer to this too. 😀
        Also on the karma thing, I came to the understanding that part of the transmutation process involves working with memo-plexes, which is somewhat yet beyond my understanding, but I guess starseeds got permission to use Akash memoplexes in order to reconfigure themselves to be able to “participate in earth frequency range” . So it is karma, but not exactly karma in a traditional sense. Hope I make sense.

      • Lady, I really feel your frustration as I am there also at this time. I always enjoy reading your Heartfelt sharings. I also shared something along the line of your comment here today and it seems to be quite a common theme at this time! I find myself sharing much more on this blog then I ever have in the past, I am sure we have a need to be heard by someone, something, anything; “Anybody Home Out There”! LOL I also did share on FB today that I feel “We have Arrived Into the Light at end of the Tunnel, now we just have to fully exit the tunnel! I feel the same frustrations that you do, when does the good stuff begin to happen again, it has been quite a while. Polarity is so extreme and the Compression rate is so severe you just have to wonder at times if it won’t fragment us into nether- land. My Thoughts are with All in these Complex and Chaotic Times!

        • thank you mrchefjeff, the frustration can be unbearable at times.
          I keep hearing and reading about ”polarity” and I can’t say I’m clear on what it is or what people mean by it, but for me it is all simply the frequency fence around this planet and all those things used to keep people within it……I can find joy, but then the joy wants to fly and keep going out and far…..and when I cannot, it can be crushing.
          I just saw your name mr chef jeff and yes, food is what brings me back down, I just wrote about this….but I’m tired of it too…..I’m really ready for the Higher Heights. 😀

    • I acually laughed outloud when I read your thoughts! I too used to think I must be facing every person I armed or killed in other lives in this one to explain all the terrible troubles in my life!!

  • Funny thing is my first sister’s name is Denise and we share the same biological father. My second sister is “YOU” and we share the father of “ALL”. Stay in motion sis.

    Peace, Love and Light,


    P.S As for your revelation yesterday pertaining to the ego, mine was the day before and I found your page yesterday. Gotta love it, ALL OF IT…

  • Thank you Denise, for your timely post. This is where I have been for the last couple of days. Cleared on my issues earlier (current ones!) and to have this posted was helpful. The insight concerning our light-ness making us more sensitive to the dark was especially helpful,. When that pendulum swings, it can be a bit crazy. But it is also, one step backwards to take two steps forward. So all is good. Thanks again.

  • OOOH I SO love this Denise…

    “WHY DID I FEEL LIKE AN ALIEN ON THIS PLANET?” Because you are one dearest. ♥ Most of us Starseeds/Indigos/Lightworkers are the positive ETs many people talk about that they believe will come to Earth and fix things. Surprise, but we’re already here and have been for decades working behind the scenes, doing what we do for humanity and the Ascension timeline.”

    Thank you! It is SO obvious to see it written there! Derrrrrr! (As we used to say when we were teenagers!) It reminds me of that saying:

    “WE are the ones we have been waiting for.”

    Thanks for writing this Denise. Thanks for once again reminding me of the truth, and doing it so elegantly and eloquently! You ROCK!!

    Hugs and smiles…


  • hi Denise, Sunny here again with another silly question. I am having some drama with my brother, won’t go into because its no big thing. I don’t concern myself much with it but at times I getting a running dialog in my mind with him. I think when this happens he is thinking about me and maybe even feeling badly about the situtation and I am picking up on his thoughts. He is VERY christian based and we have had some mild discussions about my beliefs. Anyway thanks for the post. Interesting you mention 1999 which was the year a group of us set up Hopi Medicine wheels on qrids to be fired up (kept burning) 24 hr a day if things get really bad. So the process has been full on for me since then also. LOVE, PEACE AND BIG HUGS TO ALL HERE

  • Faye’s letter expressed what so many, many feel, who are striving on the spiritual path. One of the biggest and most difficult lessons to be learned, is to STOP HAVING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OURSELVES!!! To do so is the most undermining, spiritually counterproductive thing we can do to ourselves. It is one of the main tactics used by the Evil Force to keep us bound and unable to unite with our Higher Self. Introspect, yes. Face fearlessly the wrong qualities of our nature that need to be eliminated. Move toward eliminating them by replacing them with their opposite good quality. Then forgive yourself. Your Divine Creator already has.

    Thanks Denise, for all you do.


  • Denise – I can’t ‘thank you’ enough for this post. It has very much so put it all in perspective for me. (The questions as to why this and why that.) You have been a serious benefit to me more than once with your insights. I feel blessed to have you ‘out there’. Thank you again.


  • Dear Denise, I’m so sorry to hear about your “attacks” from the darkside__ but so glad you told us about it, because I’ve been getting the same message from my Higher Self, too! I was simply told that because of the spiritual path I have chosen, these challenges must be expected to regularly occur. Sometimes we are asked by higher intelligences to deal with these dark dirties, BECAUSE they need to know that there are better ways of thinking and behaving in the world. Strangely, I have always come out of these challenges being the better for it myself; i.e., I learned something important; I found I had the power to overcome them; and they learned something from it, too. It’s certainly not fun, and even frightening at times, although I soon found how to overcome the fear and deal with it with love. Always enjoying your posts, Marilyn

  • Dearest Denise, you are a breath of fresh air and a calming, validating, beautiful Soul Being. I LOVE what you shared. And I am SO grateful to read the passionate words you wrote that describe what has gone thru my head and have known in my heart is true for a long time.
    I willingly went thru therapy for so many years and was brain washed into thinking all the behavior from others towards me was mirroring something I need to look at. Maybe some is mirroring but the majority is not. After years of trudging thru these attacks and questioning why they were happening I have realized the Light is what sets them off. And they create a distraction of sorts to get me into my head and take the focus on what my job is (Love). Staying in my heart and staying away from the emotional charge is what I want to perfect.
    I have deep gratitude for your honesty and willingness to share so openly.

  • Geez Louise! I don’t know where to begin so I’ll just say thank you for writing this FOR ME! Things for me right now are considerably intense; I’ve been experiencing a lot of what you wrote about. I am on an emotional roller coaster – one minute doing OK – the next I’m a wreck. Those “little” things that others don’t even see/get – to me are overwhelming. I find comfort in knowing it is not necessarily me; but it is a difficult process nonetheless. I HAVE seen some of my shit of course – and staying on the path of the compassionate witness and detached observer is getting even more difficult than I thought was possible.

    I get that I am an alien on this planet – that is why I’m here. I FINALLY get that I can not make sense of the pain that is inflicted here in 3D – I never will and no one will ever get it unless they are waking up or awake.

    I’ve been living with my son for about 1 week now and while I know he is trying, in his own 3D way, to make this work, I have never felt so unwelcome anywhere. We have tried to talk about it but he just doesn’t get it and he won’t until he wakes up and goes thru this (which I fully believe he will). I am highly considering driving out west and taking my chances with my car that sort of limps around as it is. Living out of my car has become a lesser evil which is really sad to state.

    I know there will be more to come, but just wanted to say Thanks. Love to all here, Morgean

    • Morgean,

      Sending you big ♥ Hugs immediately.

      Start talking to your Higher Self and your Ascension Guides/Assistants and ask them for help, guidance, assistance etc. with your current situation. Ask for connections to be made now with like-others maybe, as one way to get through this phase.

      You are in my Heart and I’m talking to the Sky (you know what I mean 😉 ) as I type this.


      • Thanks so much Denise. Yes, I know what you mean about talking to the sky 😉 Another layer – I also had a german shepherd that I loved dearly her name was Lakota Skyylar and I called her Skyy – she is also a guide and friend from beyond the veil. I have been asking for help and I get plenty of signs my guides are with me – but it seems this redirection is more all-encompassing than I realized it would be. I guess that is a good thing. I said I was being pulled to 4-corners area and I have had one job interview in Albuquerque and two more coming up – one in Yuma, AZ and one in Gallup, NM. So things are happening, but I am getting some real training in the meantime and seeing all the final stuff I have to give up. So, it is a good and necessary process in the end. Love to you and your mother, Morgean

    • Morgean,

      This sounds awful and I KNOW what it’s like trying to be yourself with beings who are still very much stuck in polarity thinking and who just can’t and don’t “get it!” If you want to come to North Wales, for a breather and/or as somewhere you feel you would be more able to be yourself, without having to explain it to anyone, then, I have an attic I don’t use. The building is not a place I would call “home” as there is nothing in it and defintely not somewhere I would describe as aesthetically pleasing(!), (which really bugs me because I am of ITALIAN origin!!!!), but I am on my own and I really only use it as a place where I can experience some sense of sanity and necessary time for reflection. I had little choice but to go there when the opposing team were really onto me, but it has given me some degree of down time. North Wales itself and the surrounding area has a very Celtic quality to it. You are most welcome. Bless you and I shall light a candle for you, when I return to my house Love. Katerina

      • Kat,
        Thank you for your most kind and generous offer. I live in the US so that would be a real stretch – but I can not tell you how much it means for you to offer. I am much steadier today; feel like I must have let go of some of the last bits of crap I needed to deal with. I should have mentioned he will be leaving out of town next week for several months – coming home one long weekend a month – in which I have promised to leave for that weekend. I just wasn’t physically or emotionally able to leave this week (and he is home for two weeks this go round) as I just got here about a week ago and still not settled here. I feel things opening up for me and I’m now feeling like the attachment I have/had to my son was the one thing keeping me from moving on. And after this, I don’t think he nor I will feel too bad about me living 2000 miles away. Again, thank you for the offer. I know I haven’t responded much to you here but I do read your posts and have a good sense of who you are. And, I do remember the story you posted about your past and how you got to where you are and I just want to say my heart went out to you then and now for what you have been through. I just try to keep my comments to others limited to help Denise with all the responses she gets. Much love to you, Morgean

    • Dear Morgean- You made me laugh and cry with your situation. I too have a daughter and to some extent my husband, whom make me feel like an outsider in my own home. For me I will always be a square peg in a round hole, but I surrendered to that some years ago. The more you practice being the “silent witness”, the easier it will get. If you ever need to talk more I am sure Denise will give you my e-mail. Keep your head up high. We should all be proud of the work we do- regardless if we are appreciated or not. Sending some ❤

      • Thanks Debbie for the feedback and I apologize for the late reply – I missed this one along with many others….

  • So pleased to read that Faye has come to the right conclusion: ”It’s not me, it’s you!”. Like you say, Denise, I too have always, but always, clashed with many men. They seem to take an INSTANT dislike to me before I have even opened my mouth, and I can ”feel” that they have decided they will target me in order to bring me down in any way they can. When I was very young and experienced this phenomenon, I too believed that there was something horribly wrong with me. These dark men (and patriarchal women) seem to be able to smell the likes of us a mile away and see us as something to be conquered – in fact I would go as far as to say ”destroyed”.

    It is as if part of my mission is to reveal these people for what they are, not only to others, but to themselves. I’m wondering if they somehow sense that our BS meter is extremely fine-tuned, and their instinct correctly lets them know that we are a clear and present danger and threat with regards to revealing to others their true nature, and so they attempt to eliminate us as quickly as possible before we (usually unwittingly) expose them. The consequent ”big reveal” is almost always a surprise to me, even after all these years, as it is never my intention to cause drama or ”out” these men for being duplicitous. It just seems to happen and had they not targeted me, they wouldn’t have been found out! This irony is never lost on me.

    I’m exhausted at having men attack me out of the blue for seemingly nothing and this post confirms what I had started to suspect some years ago. It’s an issue that has my friends and family scratching their heads because they too know my true nature – ”There is not a mean bone in my body”. Thank you so much for this.

    With much love and gratitude.

    • E,

      I can totally relate.

      I’ve had male strangers walk across busy public parking lots just to come up to me–a total stranger–and start verbally insulting me. It’s so obvious to me when some stranger is being “used”, manipulated in many ways to go out of their way to attack me, insult me, demean me, wound me etc. The behavior by these male strangers is so over the top negative and hateful that’s it’s almost laughable despite the potentially dangerous situation.

      The big thing that’s changed with this type of Team Dark use of other humans to get at me in different ways is that now I know it’s coming long before it arrives physically because I recognize the humans around me that are easy and unaware tools of the Negatives. I have many more options of how I can deal or not deal or override these type of situations when they happen now compared to five, twenty, thirty-five years ago.


      • Denise & All,

        It hasn’t happened often, but I have had experiences throughout my life of people, and yes, now that I think of it, most of them male, angrily and out of the blue coming up to me and wanting to attack me, but then suddenly, just as they’re starting to open their mouths, they literally physically shudder, and they just seem to shrivel up and need to move away from me as quickly as they possibly can. They are unable to get even one hateful word out. It reminds me of what happens in those vampire movies when the vampire gets caught in the sunlight and instantly begins to burn up and die. All he can do is run for cover.

        There have been a few who did manage to spew some hate, but it didn’t get very far before they too began backing away. I don’t know why they back away, it’s not anything I’m consciously doing and it only works with strangers who want to attack me, not so much in personal relationships or with family, who can sometimes hurt me with their energy and words if they want to.

        When I was a little girl and it would happen I would wonder why that person, who was a total stranger, was so afraid of me and hated me. What had I done? What was wrong with me? I remember sometimes feeling hurt and confused that someone would respond to me that way. Yes, we do tend to blame ourselves for every crappy thing that happens until we finally wise up and understand it’s not about us at all. When something like this happens now, I don’t care.


      • Hi Denise:
        I have lived this very same thing. I actually had males many times in my life walk right into my space and state “why aren’t you smiling?” LOTS of times. Dontcha know you should be a silent little Stepford woman, subservient and never displaying a visage that might upset anyone’s day, or express anything other than positive support of the patriarchal system. You are not entitled even to your own face!
        I was so attacked by males -from obscene callers, gawkers, discrimination on jobs/in life, actual assault/rape etc., and just rude men and women who were of a bullying nature. Many aggressive overly yang women sometimes start out as friends and slowly reveal a total distain for anyone who is not wired like them–pouncing on my every word, psychically and verbally attacking me–I am sure it is unconscious, but I have gone through this many times. I always thought it was my fault, a family of origin thing or karma I had to clear in myself, and would do more reprogramming of thoughts, beliefs or more body polarity therapy and energywork –but it always returns. I am very relieved that now I am considered invisible by the youth culture –but still get attacked, less than before but it feels way more extreme because I can’t stand being around most people for more than a short period of time –even my community garden members, I am just exhausted afterwards and need a full day or more of recovery time. The boundaries/light shields help only to a degree. I feel best with plants and dogs and am living a semi-reclusive life now. It is reassuring to know that many others are going through the same thing.

  • These words couldn’t be more touché …. Resonating exactly to what I have been going through as a light worker and no longer do I need to feel like a freak… Right now it feels like I am all alone, but I know I am not..talk about a conscious shift for all of us. in the world not of the world and yet being the conscious witness is exhausting right now… I am being kind also to myself..not giving myself a hard time….just more and more compass.i.on. ..love Lisa.

  • Dearest Denise:

    Bravo, bravo, bravo, hats off to you, Dear Teacher. My heart has expanded big-time just from a once-through reading of this “print it out, put it under your pillow, and read it, read it, read it” message to us all. I can say (I too am Capricorn, age 62, though that’s certainly not a prerequisite!) that my experience with any person in authority (and peers), and particularly with females since bras were burned, were for the most part hurtful, bewildering, and made me feel “less than” and so afraid that I would never fit into a system that I could not understand. When I realized not only that I would never understand duality, but that I was here to integrate it and transmute it, my “codes” fired, things got very traumatic indeed, but eventually as I came to learn how to “respond, not react”, my life eased considerably. It can still hurt, but nothing like it used to. Emotionally, yes, I still have buttons that can be pushed (especially where animals are involved), but that is getting less and less, because “it is what it is” and my job is to observe the BS, feel it, send it love, and let it flow right through me. We are close now and I’m so ready. Thanks, faye1234, and thank you, Denise. Love to All, B.

  • Thanks for posting this, I felt like you were speaking about my life experiences the correlations were so strong, it takes a lot of bravery to be this honest with yourself and other’s.
    All goodness to you for keeping your focus in there especially when the times were hard, in the big picture it has given us powers in truth, sight and the love needed to evolve into this new vibration.
    Recently I read sufi work’s that describes the evolution of the soul, in their terms, Humans have evolved from angels to earth being the next stage of their evolution, were it is far more difficult than the angelic realm, this seems to be the evolving nature.
    Lol j

  • And I thought I was the only one putting myself through ‘hell’ today with my no longer appreciated negative thought patterns! Loving and enlightening response by Denise much appreciated. Mahalo Nui!

  • Indeed…so true…no further comments need to be added…and since the 1999 August eclipse a lot has been transmuted, a whole lot…but, after all, we are just doing our jobs…well done, we are all stars!!! in Lak’ech Ala K’in.

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