Transmuting More Layers


It’s always amused me how many people believe they’ve transmuted everything within themselves because they had a rough few days or weeks! It takes a whole lot more than just a few days, weeks or months to peel away the numerous layers of accumulated stuff from having involuted into physicality. Sorry but the evolutionary Ascension Process isn’t something that can be accomplished over a weekend!


In the mid-1980’s a male friend shared an unusual dream he’d recently had. I thought his dream was very insightful for the mid-1980’s, and was impressed by its clear-cut symbolism. His dream consisted of him struggling to climb up a huge steep mountain while dragging along all of his prized possessions in heavy suitcases. The farther up this mountain he climbed, the heavier his many suitcases became, making it increasingly difficult and dangerous to keep trying to drag them up the steep and rocky terrain.

Once he’d reached the halfway point up this huge mountain, he knew he wouldn’t make it if he did not LET GO OF his many suitcases that contained his hard-earned and much-loved possessions. And so, after tremendous physical struggling and painful emotional deliberation over his precarious situation, he decided it would be worth it to release his many suitcases containing his prized possessions and continue climbing that mountain free of them all. If nothing else, just putting the suitcases down would make the rest of his treacherous journey up the mountain that much easier and safer he decided.

I so loved and respected that man in those short fifteen minutes it took him to relay his spiritual dream message. What a profound truth his dream was and is for so many of us decades later, crawling, exhausted and bloody up that steep mountain, many still clutching one or more of their increasingly heavy suitcases containing precious personal 3D belongings.


Belly Dance with veil

     (Denise Le Fay, 1991)

One of my passions in my earlier Denise life—my life prior to the biological start of the Ascension Process—was Belly Dancing. I spent years mastering the dance steps and intricate body isolations, the wondrous joy of spinning well, the foreign music and rhythms, mastering zill playing (brass finger cymbals), designing and making my own costumes and lastly, the fine art of performing and eventually performing well. The photo above is me from a very long time ago. Time has marched on, and on.

After nearly twenty years of doing this and loving all aspects of it, once I had mastered all the physical, emotional, mental, psychological and energy manipulation aspects of Belly Dance and performing, within a few short months I needed to retire completely at the ripe old age of thirty-nine (the famed Uranus Opposition)! There would be no lengthy phase of basking in the ease and comfort of mastering performing Belly Dance or anything else. I had achieved what I’d set out to do, had learned all I needed to from it on multiple levels and it was simply time for me to set those much-loved suitcases down, full of colorful exotic goodies and continue climbing the Ascension Mountain.


In mid-July 2010 I was suddenly blasted by the necessity of releasing another of my “personal suitcases”. This particular suitcase contained my original passion and earlier Lightworker Service work through TRANSITIONS. In much the same way as my Belly Dancing career (and others), I’d reached the point where I had to let go of how I’ve interacted with TRANSITIONS and why. Once again, I’d reached another level of Retirement from an old way of being, of Lightworker Service, and of intense focus and creativity. Literally overnight in mid-July 2010, I went from TRANSITIONS being my primary place of physical Service, creativity, and passion to zero interest and no one was more surprised by this than me.

I’ve known since early 2006, that this day was coming for me (what’s happening in summer 2010 to many of us) and that there always comes a point where I (you, each of us) must yet again let go of and release some particular suitcase(s) to continue climbing up the evolutionary ascension mountain, baggage free.

This suitcase contained my scant remaining Phase One ascension survival items, a couple personal comfort goodies, and a few old habits that at this point I desperately needed to offload. I simply could not do this however until I was triggered to do so, and I was triggered in a sudden and dramatic you’ve-got-no-more-choices-about-this type of Uranian way in mid-July 2010.

Now, midway through August 2010, I’m still adjusting physically to having dropped this particular suitcase like it was toxic, which it had become, and as I said in an earlier post, come fall 2010 I know I (and some of you) will begin the very first stages of re-learning how to be and create consciously as suitcase-less beings.


Obviously, plenty of times which brings us back to the seemingly endless un-layering, transmuting and then offloading stair step (mountain climbing) process that ascension is. I’ve said this before but it took some serious Multi-D doing and planning to get our high frequency Light Selves down enough vibrationally to fit in tiny, dense, physical body containers in such severe density Duality physical 3D world. Once here, we immediately began collecting plenty of suitcases and stuffed each of them full of our fabulous and colorful travel souvenirs because that’s what it’s been about in pre-ascension 3D physicality; collecting precious soul souvenirs from all the lives, timelines and countries you’ve lived, created, learned from and died within.

But, as it is now with the ascension/compressed evolutionary/Age change process, we do this process in reverse. We must now be baggage-free and clear enough that nothing gets snagged and caught on us as it flows past or as we flow past it. Wheat from the chaff. We must be suitcase-free on all levels, even the earlier and familiar Phase One and Phase Two Lightworker/Path Paver/Wayshower/Starseed levels. Once we’ve reached this new state we will finally be ready on all levels to be the 5D conscious creators and Aquarian group co-creators of our ascended new earth world.


Thirty-six years ago I asked my elder esoteric Astrology teacher where the most important point or area was in my astrological birth chart. Without skipping a beat he swiftly pointed his index finger at the very center point of my natal chart—where there was NOTHING—and tapped it in Master Yoda-like fashion. I looked at him and did the typically neophyte reaction and nodded in agreement—because I really did understand—but nonetheless asked him again where the most important point in my natal chart was! He looked me in the eye and gently shook his head and smiled then pointed out one particular planet and house in my natal chart.

Point is and always has been that, in the end the most important point is in the center where there seems to be NO-THING. No precious travel souvenirs, not even any suitcases, just the reduced, refined, purified, integrated and greatly enhanced YOU. Once we have nothing left in us but calm, honest unattached contentment, we’ll have access to it all and most likely won’t give a damn one way or the other.

Denise Le Fay

August 19, 2010

Copyright Denise Le Fay & TRANSITIONS & HighHeartLife, 2010. All Rights Reserved. 

20 thoughts on “Transmuting More Layers

  • Wow Denise! I haven’t been here much, as I too am experiencing the same types of blah-ness as far as all and anything to do with most computer/email/postings as of late. I jumped on to see if there were any updates added on here, and as I scrolled down the page, I did several double-takes thinking “???!!! Could that possibly, truly be THE Denise LeFay back when she was doing her belly dancing thing!!!???” And by God, it was!! You go girl!

    Even out of all this present whatever it is, I got a big kick, and am glad that you posted a picture of your self! Sarah Connor’s (John’s Mom in TERMINATOR) got nothin’ over you!!!
    🙂 Robin

    • Robin,

      I debated over whether or not to include a Belly Dance photo of myself from way back in the day…and I mean waaaay back! Then I decided I would because how I look today is NOTHING like how I did back then, and that too is another aspect of my letting go of. I doubt anyone who knew me back then would recognize me today because I just look like a middle aged, overweight woman whose had a hard couple of decades and is pushin’ 60! 😉

      Before I discovered Belly Dance, my childhood fantasy had been to be a thoroughbred jockey and so, a couple of years after my divorce I got a job at a local thoroughbred horse ranch and began training to ride (those horses that way). I trained so hard to increase my upper body strength just so I could control the horses, that my arms and shoulders were even more muscled and defined…and I still couldn’t control those huge thoroughbred horses! But hot-damn, I had some great arms and shoulders. 😀

      Thanks and I’m glad you enjoyed. I too was impressed with how buff that actress got her skinny little self for that second Terminator movie.


  • Hi Denise –

    I’m already on page 462 of your book, “A Lightworker’s Mission – The Journey Through Polarity Resolution”. I can relate to SO much of what you are experiencing in this lifetime. I like your “raw edge” rather than phony “love and light” rhetoric. So much of the raw crap and dark stuff I’ve been going through just doesn’t make it on the pages of many other lightworker forums/groups, etc. I know you came into my life just at the right time when I’ve seeked so many other people for help.

    I am glad you will continue to post here at transitions. I understand what you say in your post here. I keep peeling off my own layers and feel like I’m about to unveil something HUGE/DARK. There is something at the core of my soul so dark my EGO has hid it from me for the past few years. I’ll e-mail you about some other questions I have regarding my astrological chart. Cheers for now –


  • Hi Denise and all,

    When you mentioned this type of Letting Go… that got my heart pounding on the low for the first time in months!!! NO I don’t want you to leave! Ever! It’s the reason I’m still connected here. This cyborg place resonate with my “sanity”… or what’s left of it.

    And then it got me thinking of the very thing that has stayed with me in spite of everything shedding off: my creativity. Not the creativity I slavishly shared with my fellow humans to pay bills. It’s the one I hardly ever shared.

    Lauren’s latest post about shedding off Hope… and this blog here… has me nibbling at it on the inside… about shedding THAT off too. Do I have to shed of the non-heartless things… the ones that remind me of the other multiple universes with possible adventures… the one that took me to the moon and mars and where-fore-to? But then again… the Void has me so numb… so displaced that, when I look at them again… I see that I don’t have a care about the outcome nor end result. I don’t want any approvals nor praises. I just want to Be with it.

    I still daydream a whole lot about other folks from other universes. I’ve always done so since I set foot in the 3D land. Do I have to shed everything that I hold dear to my heart in that Light too… or won’t that be allowed in the New Earth?

    Or maybe my relationship to my Inner World is what changes… and I have to let that go too…?

    Hugs and Love to all,
    Lou Ann
    (Still shedding off my sacred space called my home apartment)

  • Hugs back at you and enjoy play time–at least as much playtime as it can be called –lol. I know of which you speak as well and glad you voiced it because it hits the nail on the head for many of us and helps to reaffirm for us that what we are feeling is a truth and we are not alone. I, too, just dropped out of reading and connecting too because it just was so hard to interact on any level, it was an effort to even think about writing a word or two or even picking up the phone and making a call. Each bump up also brought a bout of depression (none of which lasted long–hour or two–because I would not let it take hold like it wanted) and feeling of “omg, this load is so heavy and so unwieldy, I will not make it, so why keep trying–it’s impossible” and like you I would then realize this would be an attempt by the dark side to derail any forward movement. Your posts are one of the few I even continue to read and it is because you write it as it is, we know we are not alone because you and your bloggers affirm this, and I do not see the negative attacks at this site–well, not like other sites, I know you get lambasted but this for all intents and purposes is a positive learning format. I am glad you are not totally going into retirement–to be honest, about a month ago I had a feeling that is what you were going to do and was almost afraid when I began reading this blog that you were saying a permanent good bye to TRANSITIONS. You would be sorely missed if you did but I would also understand the motive if you decided enough was enough. Some days forming a thought can wear a person out!–lol Let alone trying to make the fingers punch the keys and form a coherent sentence. Bottom line–you rock, girl. Best of the best!

  • Dear Denise,

    Thank you very much for sharing this post. I relate to this very much. What astounds me is that as soon as I’ve shed another layer my mind begins to quickly identify with all that is left of me; only to let go of even more aspects some days or weeks later.

    Last February I went on a spiritual excursion to Romania. I remember vividly that I felt like dying as I boarded the airplane. I just knew, that I would return from this trip as a completely different person. For the duration of the flight I wallowed in sweet melancholy, gradually letting go of the picture I had of myself, embracing the yet unknown New.

    I must say though that I deeply enjoy the constant metamorphosis of letting go, being reborn, and integrating only to let go of it (myself) eventually again.

    Sometimes it might feel a little crazy, yet the freedom gained is invaluable..


    • Natalie,

      I know what you’re saying about this dying, transmuting, stepping out of an old aspect of ourselves (ego and consciousness) to reach another new level and stage of being…until the process happens the next time…and the next and next and next… Very Plutonian process, and one that I’ve become rather good at over the decades. It’s like removing layers of clothes. 😉

      ESPAVO (“Thank you for taking your power.”)

      • Dear Denise,

        yes, very Plutonian indeed. :-))

        Much Love from a Butterfly Scorpio with Sun/Pluto Conjunct.

        • Natalie,

          Wowza! Your natal Scorpio Sun/Pluto conjunction sounds like your Higher Self made sure you’d have the best tools for full transformation in this life/body/timeline. 🙂


        • Dear Denise,

          indeed, it’s been quite a ride and still is. Instinctively I create the perfect environment for facing and transcending my limits & fears and therefore by and by become more of who I AM by letting go of deeper and deeper levels of all that I am not or not anymore or not only …

          I used to be very much “either/or” and am turning more and more into “as well as”


          thank you.
          much love to you too

  • Oh that dream that dream. So many times over a couple decades I had a similar dream to that one. In mine there’s water. The ocean waves are roaring up high and flooding the town. All of us are trying to run to safety, but also take our most valuable possessions with us. But bottom line is we have to go if we want to live. And we have to go now.

    I try and try to pick just a few possessios to take but I can’t make up my mind which ones. I want to take a dozen or so that I’m sure are highly important. At last I realize I simply cannot carry all the stuff I value. So I take 1 or 2 items that can fit in the palm of my hand, maybe keys and i.d. , something like that (keys for a house and car that are being washed away? i.d. for institutions that are being wrecked by the force of the waves? Yep. Makes no sense whatsoever) and I manage to get out of the house which by now is 3/4 filled to the ceiling with sea water. Heartbroken about all my stuff left behind, just heartbroken.

    But if I had that dream tonight I would feel nothing but Relief. I’d leave behind all material possessions in a minute. And I wouldn’t need a tsunami as a permission slip to do so. But.. the dream doesn’t happen anymore.

    • “But if I had that dream tonight I would feel nothing but Relief. I’d leave behind all material possessions in a minute. And I wouldn’t need a tsunami as a permission slip to do so. But.. the dream doesn’t happen anymore.


      You don’t have this dream anymore because you’ve Done It. Great job you! 🙂


    • I’ve quit the tsunami and tornado dreams. I was the one frantically running through the Milwaukee ghetto screaming at people, “Get out of the city NOW!” The sky was twilight at 3 in the morning.

      Since I’ve been home I’ve had dreams of snow on Mt. Shasta, in Mt. Shasta in the summer, train stations and more train stations, mountain lions and bears.

      Apparently in the future we still have mason jars, iron skillets, and skis. Yay! And we finally get bullet trains. But there are flush toilets and electricity and outside communication are sporadic and depend on solar panels and windmills… pioneer punk?

  • That bus hit me too, Denise. I was sure I had already been under those wheels before, but apparently not rolled enough quite yet. One difference I can discern is that I don’t really care that I don’t care about hardly anything anymore. I use to cry and sob over the nakedness of my existence, the emptiness of passion, the void within my void. Now it’s truly like…WHATEVER. I do wonder how long a person can live like this. I get very irritated with myself or anyone else who tries to lead me back the path of living in some way, any way, in the 3-D. Then I end up thinking I am clearly nuts. And not care too much if I am.

    I never thought Ascension would become, for me, another word for FUCKIT.
    Abandoned all hope me who tried to enter here.

    I very much appreciate your thoughts, concepts and connections Denise, so hope you don’t retire completely. Rework your health care package with the front office, and drop us a line when you feel like it. Aloha!

    BTW, you are one exotic mama. I can feel the shimmer and snap of the cymbals all the way up here!


    • lamplighter2,

      Thanks for your kind words about my ancient belly dance photo. It was taken, oh, about 185 years ago it feels 🙄 I’m coming up on 59 and the war-torn wear n’ tear of the past ascension years shows big time. I don’t recognize the face or body in the mirror now, but whatever, I’ve earned my Elder Wild Wise Woman look. 😉

      Yes, once we peel off multiple layers of our old 3D ego selves, it’s impossible to go back and an irritant and near repulsion when around other people who’ve not stepped foot on the higher Path as yet. We are what we are – and are continuing to become – and “FUCKIT” is a good mantra for us within this process.

      Hugs & Gratitude,

  • as you have no desire to really walk this transitions path anymore, and it happened quite suddenly, i have had no desire to read any of the info online anymore.. im here now but its almnost been a habit out of boredom, when iw ant a break from all the creative music and art iv been making. i doubt i will be looking much more online. i checked the latest Gorgo posts and man there is some nasty stuff going on in her comments section… name calling, serious drama… anyway its time to play!

    • Jamie L. Crowley,

      I will still write posts and do what I’ve done here at TRANSITIONS, but, I now will be doing it in a very different way for ME. I needed to make changes in my relationship and intense focus and dedication to my spiritual Service work through TRANSITIONS. It was ME that had to make these changes so I could get to my next level within this process. For a few weeks I didn’t know if I would continue writing at all here, but I now know I will…just not as much as I’ve done over the past three years.

      In mid-July I got hit so fucking hard with the desire to “mud-sling” at certain other people, but instead of doing that, I went away for awhile so I wouldn’t! I finally figured out that each time I would make another big shift forward energetically via the ascension energies, some very negative and hateful energy would suddenly be present that would hit me like a ton of bricks. After a few times experiencing this, I realized it was a lower tactic from the Dark Side if you will, to try and derail me (and anyone else it can) in this manner. After I put two and two together myself, Lisa Renee wrote her latest (which I quoted recently) and she talked about this “mudslinging” fest that the Dark side was creating to nail some of us within the spiritual communities. Don’t get me wrong, I’d still like to go off on a rant about some of these jerks…and I still may because I’m correct!…but it’s all another aspect of learning for us. 😉

      Go play and get your shit straight too as I had to do to reach this latest point. 😉 Be well, be strong, be wise, be happy and just BE.


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