Dealing With Growing Freedom & Growing Separation From Team Dark Influences

The quoted material below is from Carlos Castaneda’s book, The Active Side of Infinity (1998). Carlos Castaneda “departed his definitive journey in 1998”. December 21, 1998, the Sun reached the exact halfway point within the overall Galactic Alignment process. It reached the center or midpoint of the entire Galactic equator space. Many Volunteers/Forerunners/Pathpavers were physically, biologically activated in 1998 and 1999. Carlos Castaneda’s birthday was December 25th. Some left their physical bodies at that time, certain others were physically activated at that important energetic point to more fully enter them. At the end of this long and incredibly important cosmic and galactic transit, our Sun is coming out the other side of having approached, conjuncted, crossed, passed over and is now exiting that conjunction to the entire Galactic equator space in 2017. All of this material is related of course and still ongoing. Anything in bold in the quoted material below was done by me to draw attention to it in relation to the evolutionary Ascension Process and Embodiment Process we’re living.



“…I did see some strange fleeting black shadow projected on the foliage of the trees. It was either a shadow going back and forth or various fleeting shadows moving side-to-side or straight up in the air. They looked like fat black fish to me, enormous fish. It was as if gigantic swordfish were flying in the air. I was engrossed in the sight. Then, finally, it scared me. It became too dark to see the foliage, yet I could still see the fleeting black shadows.

“What is it, don Juan?” I asked.

“[Long ago, the native sorcerer/shamans of Mexico] discovered that we have a companion for life,” he said, as clearly as he could. We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so.”

It was very dark around us, and that seemed to curtail any expression on my part. If it had been daylight, I would have laughed my head off. In the dark, I felt quite inhibited.

“It’s pitch black around us,” don Juan said, “but if you look out of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you.”

He was right. I could still see them. Their movement made me dizzy. Don Juan turned on the light, and that seemed to dissipate everything. Don Juan said, “You have arrived, by your effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics. I have been beating around the bush all this time, insinuating to you that something is holding us prisoner. Indeed we are held prisoner! This was an energetic fact for the sorcerers of ancient Mexico.”

Why has this predator taken over in the fashion that you’re describing, don Juan?” I asked. “There must be a logical explanation.”

“There is an explanation,” don Juan replied, “which is the simplest explanation in the world. They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops, gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them.”

I felt that my head was shaking violently from side to side. I could not express my profound sense of unease and discontentment, but my body moved to bring it to the surface. I shook from head to toe without any volition on my part. I heard myself saying, “No, no, no, no. This is absurd, don Juan. What you’re saying is something monstrous. It simply can’t be true, for sorcerers, or for average men, or for anyone.”

“Why not?” don Juan asked calmly. “Why not? Because it infuriates you?”

“Yes, it infuriates me,” I retorted. “Those claims are monstrous!”

“Well,” he said, “you haven’t heard all the claims yet. Wait a bit longer and see how you feel. “I’m going to subject you to a blitz. That is, I’m going to subject your mind to tremendous onslaughts; and you cannot get up and leave because you’re caught. Not because I’m holding you prisoner, but because something in you will prevent you from leaving while another part of you is going to go truthfully berserk. So brace yourself!”

There was something in me which I felt was a ‘glutton for punishment’. He was right. I wouldn’t have left the house for the world; and yet I didn’t like one bit the inanities he was spouting. Don Juan said, “I want to appeal to your analytical mind. Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer, and the stupidity of his systems of beliefs; or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior. Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs; our ideas of good and evil; our social mores. The predators are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations, and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal.”

“But how can they do this, don Juan?” I asked, somehow angered further by what he was saying. “Do they whisper all that in our ears while we are asleep?”

“No, they don’t do it that way. That’s idiotic!” don Juan said, smiling. “They are infinitely more efficient and organized than that. “In order to keep us obedient, meek and weak, the predators engaged themselves in a stupendous maneuver- stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a fighting strategist; a horrendous maneuver from the point of view of those who suffer it. They gave us their mind! Do you hear me? The predators give us their mind which becomes our mind. The predators’ mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, and filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.

“I know that even though you have never suffered hunger,” he went on, “you have food anxiety which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered, and its food is going to be denied. Through the mind, which after all is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. The predators ensure in this manner a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear.”

“It’s not that I can’t accept all this at face value, don Juan,” I said. “I could, but there’s something so odious about it that it actually repels me. It forces me to take a contradictory stand. “If it’s true that they eat us, how do they do it?”

Don Juan had a broad smile on his face. He was as pleased as punch. He explained that sorcerers see infant human beings as strange, luminous balls of energy covered from the top to the bottom with a glowing coat something like a plastic cover that is adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy. He said that that glowing coat of awareness was what the predators consumed, and that when a human being reached adulthood, all that was left of that glowing coat of awareness was a narrow fringe that went from the ground to the top of the toes. That fringe permitted mankind to continue living, but only barely. As if I were in a dream, I heard don Juan explaining that, to his knowledge, man was the only species that had the glowing coat of awareness outside that luminous cocoon. Therefore, he became easy prey for an awareness of a different order; such as the heavy awareness of the predator.

He then made the most damaging statement he had made so far. He said that this narrow fringe of awareness was the epicenter of self-reflection where man was irremediably caught. By playing on our self-reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us, the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless, predatory fashion. They give us inane problems that force those flares of awareness to rise, and in this manner they keep us alive in order for them to be fed with the energetic flare of our pseudo-concerns. There must have been something in what don Juan was saying which was so devastating to me that at that point I actually got sick to my stomach.

After a moment’s pause long enough for me to recover, I asked don Juan, “But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although they see the predators, don’t do anything about it?”

“There’s nothing that you and I can do about it,” don Juan said in a grave, sad voice. “All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us.

“How can you ask your fellow men to go through those rigors of discipline? They’ll laugh and make fun of you; and the more aggressive ones will beat the shit out of you… and not so much because they don’t believe it. Down in the depths of every human being, there is an ancestral, visceral knowledge about the predators’ existence.”

My analytical mind swung back and forth like a yo-yo. It left me and came back, and left me and came back again. Whatever don Juan was proposing was preposterous, incredible. At the same time, it was a most reasonable thing; so simple. It explained every kind of human contradiction I could think of. But how could one have taken all this seriously?

Don Juan was pushing me into the path of an avalanche that would take me down forever. I felt another wave of a threatening sensation. The wave didn’t stem from me, yet it was attached to me. Don Juan was doing something to me, mysteriously positive and terribly negative at the same time. I sensed it as an attempt to cut a thin film that seemed to be glued to me. His eyes were fixed on mine in an unblinking stare. He moved his eyes away, and began to talk without looking at me anymore.

“Whenever doubts plague you to a dangerous point,” he said, “do something pragmatic about it. Turn off the light. Pierce the darkness; find out what you can see.” He got up to turn off the lights. I stopped him. “No, no, don Juan,” I said, “don’t turn off the lights. I’m doing okay.”

What I felt then was a most unusual, for me, fear of the darkness. The mere thought of it made me pant. I definitely knew something viscerally, but I wouldn’t dare touch it, or bring it to the surface, not in a million years!

“You saw the fleeting shadows against the trees,” don Juan said, sitting back against his chair. “That’s pretty good. I’d like you to see them inside this room. You’re not seeing anything. You’re just merely catching fleeting images. You have enough energy for that.”

I feared that don Juan would get up anyway and turn off the lights, which he did. Two seconds later, I was screaming my head off. Not only did I catch a glimpse of those fleeting images, I heard them buzzing by my ears. Don Juan doubled up with laughter as he turned on the lights.

“What a temperamental fellow!” he said. “A total disbeliever on the one hand; and a total pragmatist on the other. You must arrange this internal fight, otherwise you’re going to swell up like a big toad and burst.”

Don Juan kept on pushing his barb deeper and deeper into me. “The sorcerers of ancient Mexico,” he said, “saw the predator. They called it the flyer because it leaps through the air. It is not a pretty sight. It is a big shadow, impenetrably dark, a black shadow that jumps through the air. Then, it lands flat on the ground.

“The sorcerers of ancient Mexico were quite ill at ease with the idea of when it made its appearance on Earth. They reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one point, with stupendous insights and feats of awareness that are mythological legends nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man.”

I wanted to get angry and call him a paranoiac, but somehow the righteousness that was usually just underneath the surface of my being wasn’t there. Something in me was beyond the point of asking myself my favorite question: What if all that he said is true? At the moment he was talking to me that night, in my heart of hearts, I felt that all of what he was saying was true, but at the same time and with equal force, I felt that all that he was saying was absurdity itself.

“What are you saying, don Juan?” I asked feebly. My throat was constricted. I could hardly breathe.

“What I’m saying is that what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is very smart and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He’s an average piece of meat. There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic.”

Don Juan’s words were eliciting a strange, bodily reaction in me comparable to the sensation of nausea. It was as if I were going to get sick to my stomach again. But the nausea was coming from the bottom of my being, from the marrow of my bones. I convulsed involuntarily. Don Juan shook me by the shoulders forcefully. I felt my neck wobbling back and forth under the impact of his grip. The maneuver calmed me down at once. I felt more in control.

“This predator,” don Juan said, “which, of course, is an inorganic being, is not altogether invisible to us as other inorganic beings are. I think as children we do see it, but we decide it’s so horrific that we don’t want to think about it. Children, of course, could insist on focusing on the sight, but everybody else around them dissuades them from doing so. The only alternative left for mankind is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent. But by discipline I don’t mean harsh routines. I don’t mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you’re blue. Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For sorcerers, discipline is an art; the art of facing infinity without flinching; not because they are strong and tough, but because they are filled with awe.”

“In what way would the sorcerers’ discipline be a deterrent to the flyers?” I asked.

Don Juan scrutinized my face as if to discover any signs of my disbelief. He said, “Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer. The result is that the predators become bewildered. An inedible glowing coat of awareness is not part of their cognition, I suppose. After being bewildered, they don’t have any recourse other than refraining from continuing their nefarious task. If the predators don’t eat our glowing coat of awareness for a while, it will keep on growing.

“Simplifying this matter to the extreme, I can say that sorcerers, by means of their discipline, push the predators away long enough to allow their glowing coat of awareness to grow beyond the level of the toes. Once it goes beyond the level of the toes, it grows back to its natural size. The sorcerers of ancient Mexico used to say that the glowing coat of awareness is like a tree. If it is not pruned, it grows to its natural size and volume. As awareness reaches levels higher than the toes, tremendous maneuvers of perception become a matter of course.

“The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times was to burden the flyers’ mind with discipline. Sorcerers found out that if they taxed the flyers’ mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, and give any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind’s foreign origin. The [alien mind control of these creatures] comes back, I assure you, but not as strong; and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers’ mind becomes routine until one day it flees permanently.

“That’s the day when you have to rely on your own devices which are nearly zero. A sad day indeed! There’s no one to tell you what to do. There’s no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you’re accustomed to. My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer’s life for the real mind that belongs to us. The sum total of our experience after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty. Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation.”

I became genuinely agitated. I wanted to know more, and yet a strange feeling in me clamored for me to stop. It alluded to dark results and punishment, something like the wrath of God descending on me for tampering with something veiled by God himself. I made a supreme effort to allow my curiosity to win. I heard myself say, “What-what-what do you mean, by taxing the flyers’ mind?”

“Discipline taxes the foreign mind no end,” he replied. “So, through their discipline, sorcerers vanquish the foreign installation.”

I was overwhelmed by his statements. I believed that don Juan was either certifiably insane or that he was telling me something so awesome that it froze everything in me. I noticed, however how quickly I rallied my energy to deny everything he had said. After an instant of panic, I began to laugh, as if don Juan had told me a joke. I even heard myself saying, “Don Juan, don Juan, you’re incorrigible!”

Don Juan seemed to understand everything I was experiencing. He shook his head from side to side, and raised his eyes to the heavens in a gesture of mock despair. He said, “I am so incorrigible, that I am going to give the flyers’ mind which you carry inside you one more jolt. I am going to reveal to you one of the most extraordinary secrets of sorcery. I am going to describe to you a finding that took sorcerers thousands of years to verify and consolidate.”

He looked at me, smiled maliciously, and said, “The flyers’ mind flees forever when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers’ mind flees in defeat. And that’s exactly what you are going to do; hold on to the energy that binds you together.”

I had the most inexplicable reaction I could have imagined. Something in me actually shook, as if it had received a jolt. I entered into a state of unwarranted fear, which I immediately associated with my religious background.

Don Juan looked at me from head to toe. “You are fearing the wrath of God, aren’t you?” he said. “Rest assured, that’s not your fear. It’s the flyers’ fear, because it knows that you will do exactly as I’m telling you.”

His words did not calm me at all. I felt worse. I was actually convulsing involuntarily, and I had no means to stop it.

“Don’t worry,” don Juan said calmly. “I know for a fact that those attacks wear off very quickly. The flyer’s mind has no concentration whatsoever.”

After a moment, everything stopped as don Juan had predicted. To say again that I was bewildered is a euphemism. This was the first time in my life ever, with don Juan or alone, that I didn’t know whether I was coming or going. I wanted to get out of the chair and walk around, but I was deathly afraid. I was filled with rational assertions, and at the same time I was filled with an infantile fear. I began to breathe deeply as a cold perspiration covered my entire body. I had somehow unleashed on myself a most godawful sight: black, fleeting shadows jumping all around me wherever I turned. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the arm of the stuffed chair.

“I don’t know which way to turn, don Juan,” I said.

“Tonight, you have really succeeded in getting me lost.” Don Juan said, “You’re being torn by an internal struggle. Down in the depths of you, you know that you are incapable of refusing the agreement that an indispensable part of you, your glowing coat of awareness, is going to serve as an incomprehensible source of nourishment to, naturally, incomprehensible entities.

“And another part of you will stand against this situation with all its might. The sorcerers’ revolution is that they refuse to honor agreements in which they did not participate. Nobody ever asked me if I would consent to being eaten by beings of A different kind of awareness. My parents just brought me into this world to be food, like themselves, and that’s the end of the story.”

Don Juan stood up from his chair and stretched his arms and legs. “We have been sitting here for hours. It’s time to go into the house. I’m going to eat. Do you want to eat with me?”

I declined. My stomach was in an uproar.

“I think you’d better go to sleep,” he said. “The blitz has devastated you.”

I didn’t need any further coaxing. I collapsed onto my bed, and fell asleep like the dead.

[When I arrived] home, as time went by, the idea of the flyers became one of the main fixations of my life. I got to the point where I felt that don Juan was absolutely right about them. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t discard his logic. The more I thought about it, and the more I talked to and observed myself, and my fellow men, the more intense the conviction that something was rendering us incapable of any activity or any interaction or any thought that didn’t have the self as its focal point…”

“…The next time I saw him, I instantly jumped to talk about the flyers. I said, “I have tried my best to be rational about this subject matter, but I can’t. There are moments when I fully agree with you about the predators.”

“Focus your attention on the fleeting shadows that you actually see,” don Juan said with a smile. I told don Juan that those fleeting shadows were going to be the end of my rational life. I saw them everywhere. Since I had left his house, I was incapable of going to sleep in the dark. To sleep with the lights on did not bother me at all. The moment I turned the lights off, however, everything around me began to jump. I never saw complete figures or shapes. All I saw were fleeting black shadows.

“The flyers’ mind has not left you,” don Juan said. “It has been seriously injured. It’s trying its best to rearrange its relationship with you. But something in you is severed forever. The flyer knows that. The real danger is that the flyers’ mind may win by getting you tired and forcing you to quit by playing the contradiction between what it says and what I say.

“You see, the flyers’ mind has no competitors. When it proposes something, it agrees with its own proposition, and it makes you believe that you’ve done something of worth. The flyers’ mind will say to you that whatever Juan Matus is telling you is pure nonsense, and then the same mind will agree with its own proposition, ‘Yes, of course, it is nonsense,’ you will say. That’s the way they overcome us.

“The flyers are an essential part of the universe, and they must be taken as what they really are; awesome, monstrous. They are the means by which the universe tests us. We are energetic probes created by the universe,” he continued as if he were oblivious to my presence, “and it’s because we are possessors of energy that has awareness that we are the means by which the universe becomes aware of itself.

“The flyers are the implacable challengers. They cannot be taken as anything else. If we succeed in doing that, the universe allows us to continue…”

Just because this book was published in 1998, doesn’t mean that’s when Castaneda had these experiences and interactions with with don Juan. They may have happened decades earlier, and if I weren’t so tired at the moment I’d check this more carefully. Point is, that many of the terms used in this information are decades old, some very ancient, so it may be helpful to replace some of them with terms we’re more familiar with in today’s Ascension Process (AP) and the Forerunners Embodiment Process (EP).

If you replace the term sorcerers with Forerunners, Volunteers, Starseeds, Blue Rays, Pathpavers, Lightworkers, Lightwarriors of the AP, this information makes more sense. If you replace the term flyers and predators with Archons, negative aliens, negative entities, demonic beings, parasites, Team Dark etc., then this information makes more sense.

If we think of the term discipline used here instead as Soul Contract(s) and/or Soul Missions etc., then some of this information makes more sense in what many of us have experienced with these and other inorganic Team Dark (TD) beings. If we translate sorcerers, through discipline, push the predators away long enough to regrown their glowing coat of awareness to, Forerunners living the AP and now EP long enough to gain and embody greater amounts of Divine Source Light and LOVE Energies, then this information makes more sense.

If we swap-out the terms taxed the flyers’ mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, to intentionally energetically removing TD and their parasitic influences by deliberately and constantly dedicating oneself to one’s current evolution to “ascend” through and then beyond Duality Consciousness and reality, to Unity or HighHeart Consciousness and reality to be free of them and that lower frequency range of reality and consciousness.

If we understand that the alien mind control of these beings comes back, but not as strong, and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers’ mind becomes routine, until one day it flees permanently to, you Forerunner, you seeker and embodier of Source Light and LOVE struggling to evolve and ascend the lower levels, will repeatedly be attacked by TD to stop you, derail you, prevent you, or simply exhaust you from doing exactly that. Keep going, never look back, never stop because you are so very close now and soon you’ll be out of range of all of them permanently.

“The flyers’ mind flees forever when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields.” Change that terminology to something like, when a Forerunner accumulates enough higher frequency Light Energies in themselves and their physical bodies, they evolve beyond lower Duality and enter higher frequency Unity or HighHeart and begin becoming increasingly Sovereign individually, and TD simply cannot reach those higher levels. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers’ mind flees in defeat.” For Forerunners and Embodiers this means that once we’re able to maintain energetic Sovereignty individually and not “fall” back down into old lower levels of frequency, reality, consciousness and emotions etc., not let ourselves be manipulated by any negative TD being(s) or Portal Person human(s) and do this long enough, we successfully cutoff the food and fuel supply from ourselves to TD and they leave us alone; they flee in defeat.

The next thing I want to finally talk about, after going through this in very amplified ways constantly since 2014, is “the flyers’ mind is still with you, it’s been damaged but it’s trying it’s best to rearrange its relationship with you.” I’ve experienced this increasingly every year since 2014, and still am today and will be for a while longer I suspect. And, from what I’ve heard many of you fellow Forerunners say to me in emails and Comments is that you too are, in 2017, just about all… done… with… everything AP related. Believe me, I understand. However, yep there’s a however here, this is that powerful and important point within all of this, or any other Great Initiatic Process, where you’re so freaking exhausted from it all that you just want to lie down and sleep for as long as you can get away with. I remember reading one line in one of Castaneda’s books back in the mid-1970s that hit me like a ton of spiritual bricks because I knew it was true and profoundly important. It had to do with “being impeccable” constantly, no matter what you’re doing or not doing. You could be sitting on your butt staring at the ceiling, but you’d better be doing so as an impeccable being otherwise you’ll probably get knocked to the floor! Once an Initiate, always an Initiate in other words, and there’s no being lax, careless or unaware once you’ve reached a certain level of awareness and energy. And in this lifetime of Galactic Alignment and the AP and EP, many of us incarnated with this fully functioning from birth; others were Coded to have it re-activated at some point within our AP in this lifetime.

What am I really talking about here you may be wondering at this point? How many of you Forerunners have thought about and/or are currently dealing with what life and reality is going to be like once you’re actually free of TD? What are you going to do? What do you really want? What are you going to create? How many of you, especially the Elder Forerunners who’ve been at this most or all of their lives already, are currently exhausted yet bored out of your ever-loving skulls? How many of you are, like I’ve been, having to re-learn how to function and exist without all the TD bullshit negativity and endless interference, parasitism and manipulations? Said another way, some of us are and have been for a few years now having to incrementally learn how to, as don Juan put it, “The flyers are the implacable challengers. They cannot be taken as anything else. If we succeed in doing that, the universe allows us to continue…” Some of us are currently standing, make that teetering on the blissful and hard-earned threshold of the universe allowing us to continue, and we’re a bit dazzled by that fact, not to mention really tired and feeling like we’ve been isolated for far too long. Some of us are looking at the endless possibilities that lay before us, debating what we want to invest ourselves and our Sovereign energies in at this early stage of our and the Process. At the moment, I just want a nap and to come back to this thought after I’m more rested. How about you?

I can clearly see, feel and hear the growing chaos of the old lower patriarchal world below me, but I’m not directly (that’s a keyword there) affected by it at this point. I’ve gotten some altitude in other words as have most (but not all) of you reading this, but the old lower world is eating itself now in 2017 and the energetic pull is wild, frantic and determined to continue at all costs and it still tries to “rearrange its relationship with you”. Old habits die-hard for both sides but don’t stop doing what you always have because you’re so very close to being really free of it all finally. ❤


Donations can be made here and Thank You for the energy exchange.

Copyright © Denise Le Fay & HighHeartLife, 2017. All rights reserved. You may copy and distribute this article so long as you don’t alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author(s) and this URL and Copyright Notice is included.

30 thoughts on “Dealing With Growing Freedom & Growing Separation From Team Dark Influences

  • Thanks Denise.
    I wanted to post something about what I’m feeling and experiencing in these weeks, but situations are continously morphing and changing, I’m exhausted and can’t make sense of it all.
    When things seemed to lead me towards joy, I felt an unusual kind of frightening physical sensation, it made me think of an interference. Than everything started to tumble down. Hard to think I still have to deal with that and why, do I have enough energy left to climb up the cliff?
    Anyway, did someone else feel some kind of pressure and strong anxiety this morning (9-11 for Europe, still night in US)? Just asking because also some cats (friends’ cats) behaved madly.
    The rest of the day was very mad and hard to navigate too.
    Hugs to all

  • Thank you Denise. I read Castaneda early on again and again because it took time to start to get what he was saying. If I recall right, one time Don Juan told his incredulous student that a human mind is “a foreign installation.” Carlos immediately turned away from such an idea and no more was said in that book. I turned away too, for years. Then along came The Active Side of Infinity. Thanks for highlighting Castaneda’s work. Thanks for all you do.

  • Hi Denise….Thanks for all you share…I really appreciate your valuable insights, and all the work you have done….It totally resonates…..Bless you and hugs, Barbara xxxxx

  • Hi Denise. I feel like I’m the baby among you all!

    I grew up without knowing. I grew up in total fear and ignorance. And when i began finding the few books that expanded my world back in the 70s and 80s there was ….. well information was incomplete and therefore misleading. I saw the Carlos books but felt they werent for me.

    Having no remembrance and ptsd and many mental, emotional, and physical challenges, I have persisted while always coming to realize i had faulty, inaccurate, or incomplete info. This lead to reliance on my personality/ mind. So right there I placed myself in a sorry spot. And the bottom line for me was the realization i saw myself as a victim.

    Then some years ago i began to want to know what the dark was, and why wasnt I suppose to know? I began searching with great fear and feeling i was doing something dangerous. Your blog, the first one was part of my new discoveries for which Im grateful. And also the big reveal you share here.

    Anyway, undoing the years of erroneous misconceptions is Work. Replacing with truth and on going realization application is also Work. 😣

    Building a balanced and organized foundation is Work. And not subcomming to all the old dominate fears is Major Work.

    What i learned the other day, realized is that for me, its the sensations and feelings from certain thoughts that suck me down. The most vulnerable private fears. And i wonder why i cant, “make it stop.” ? And it goes on and on.

    Of course I’ve come to realize these thoughts are not mine. And im still building inner muscles. And then the other half, being more physically present. Physically responsible when im home. Usually im so tired i have not cared that my home is trashed, that there is so much responsibility needed HERE. And focusing on what needs to be done helps bring peace….relieves morbid dwelling on the self. And learning to Give. Dwelling on how can i be a blessing.

    Im so grateful for your down to earth straight talk.

    There are probably few people
    Karmically equipped to take on this level of teaching. And well do i remember an extremely well known published teacher instructing her followers to focus cosmic rays into the auras of terrorists in order to change them! “Send love on them, that’ll show em” and no clue what she was doing!

    Anyway, im truly at a chop wood, carry water level. Learning to bring balance down to the physical level, and being aware and responsible for my thoughts, and to remember im not my thoughts! Im not the mind or emotions. Im not mental identity. And the periods of inner peace/ stability grows and stays longer.

    Hugs to all! 😘

  • I learned so much reading those books.
    Again Denise, you’re building bridges, now it’s between the Forerunners and the newest group of love warriors, whatever name they choose. This is the work we refer to so often, the research, the soul search, the ego taming, the mind bending, the search for silence, the overcoming and then the stringent impeccability we must hold ourselves to without reactivating the ego, shadow, dark.
    We did this alone, in the dark, no friends, family, Internet, under constant attack with our only support from our “imagined” unseen families…Nothing weird about any of that!
    We did it holding down jobs, raising families, living double lives, losing our minds and hearts only to regain and retrain ourselves to be the light. It’s no wonder we’re cranky sometimes!
    Denise, I love you and honor you for all you do.
    Thank you, thank you♡

    • oldsoul2017,

      Never truer words said. We did everything you mentioned and more and we’re still doing it, and more, and all the while holding down jobs, raising families etc. No Forerunner should ever doubt how powerful, dedicated, focused, strong and determined they are. What we’ve done is almost unimaginable, and as you said, we did it under the absolute worst of situations and conditions.

      ❤ ❤ ❤

  • Dearest Denise,

    My gratitude to you, always. In reading the above excerpt I experienced a lot of things. First was, when I volunteered to work for trade in a new age bookstore years ago I saw a LOT of books by Carlos Castaneda, very popular. I also (unknown at the time but now known) was never even curious about all the hype of the books. At that same time, I was introduced to another book that talked about 12-strand dna activation, ascension and (of course) about TD. When I finally started reading it maybe a year after I bought it, I couldn’t get it out of my sight or hands fast enough in reading just the foreward. I couldn’t stomach the full thought of TD. Of course I was neck deep dealing with my own after-effects of ptsd from TD and was not ready for the “Full” full disclosure at that time. I understand that now in reading your article. Once I got through the all ptsd and fear at the end of 2012, I could then entertain and fully embrace the true impact and wide spread/encompassing effects of TD. Timing is definitely everything.

    Another thing that occurs to me is your description of being near the edge, and yet being so fully exhausted and being “up to here” with anything and everything Ascension related. It reminds me of that final stage of childbirth that’s described, that you’re actually so close to giving birth and yet you feel like you’re “done”. Just putting that out there as an analogy that might help someone.

    And lastly:

    “You could be sitting on your butt staring at the ceiling, but you’d better be doing so as an impeccable being otherwise you’ll probably get knocked to the floor! Once an Initiate, always an Initiate…”

    I tried meditation years ago. There were these free silent sessions that would last up to 3 hours. And I did that. Found peace there. Skip years forward, when I started delving into the Ascension process and everything surrounding that back in 2012, and many people kept suggesting “eating right, exercise, and meditate” I was like, “why? I know how to meditate, but I would rather move around and live WHILE Be-ing in a meditative/peaceful state”. I considered it a waking/living meditation. What you wrote is what I have been doing my best to consciously practice: each moment from my HighHeart space. Whether I’m watching a movie (be-ing aware of any thoughts or feelings and why as well as the messages in the movie), or hearing a neighbor screaming at their spouse (and observing that they are definitely being jerked around by the dark or by their fear not to shake the status quo), or if I go run errands and have a conversation with the cashier about people’s egos running around like pouty children instead of the person disciplining the ego like a child needs and laughing because the cashier gets it. And Be-ing aware of how by just Be-ing in that space within my Heart, I effect those around me, sometimes it highly uncomfortable ways, sometimes in really profound ways. I don’t recognize myself anymore, and yet I know I’m not wherever I’m going yet.

    And I thank you for the reminder: What am I going to do? What am I going to choose to be? What am I going to create? I am going to choose to let that be my waking/walking/living meditation until I find a direction.

    And yesterday I chided myself for having “embarrassed” myself at the store; only to stop myself and ask why was I embarrassed? Guess my ego needed to get off its fake high horse, and so I embraced it. Yeehaw! 😀

  • Denise, I LOVE how you summed everything up in this excerpt and in your own words. I was riveted to every word. My boys have even seen those “dark flyers” in my room before bed. But you’re right, they are so effin’ weak at this point in the game! Thanks for inspiring me even more to be absolutely impeccable. I just donated my ass off. THANK YOU!

    • Woohoo! Hi Kate!!! I’ve seen the dark flyers in my room too… but they don’t scare me! I have too much love in my heart and they know not to mess with me! XXX Love you to bits xxx

  • Denise, this article has hit me like the “spiritual ton of bricks” that you describe in it, thank you, and I mean THANK YOU!

    “I remember reading one line in one of Castaneda’s books back in the mid-1970s that hit me like a ton of spiritual bricks because I knew it was true and profoundly important. It had to do with “being impeccable” constantly, no matter what you’re doing or not doing. You could be sitting on your butt staring at the ceiling, but you’d better be doing so as an impeccable being otherwise you’ll probably get knocked to the floor! Once an Initiate, always an Initiate in other words, and there’s no being lax, careless or unaware once you’ve reached a certain level of awareness and energy.”

    After, and with, the discipline earned and learned, comes “being impeccable”… I looked the word up, because I wanted to make sure I was on the right track, and yup, it means, “flawless, faultless, not liable to sin”. Yikes! But the great news is at least now I know something about the next challenge, instead of having it creep up on me and knock me on the head and bang me in the gut… again.

    I also wanted to mention that I got a chuckle out of Castenada’s physical reactions: bloated up, cold sweat, threw up! Familiar stuff!

    Thanks again, Denise, and I’m sorry that you’re still getting some condescending, holier-than-thou comments, sigh. Love, B.

    • Thanks Barbara, and I’m halfway through an article about those pesky human egos and my learning how to be a Teacher etc. 😉

      Even though I bought and read this last book by Castaneda a couple of years ago (all of his others I read the year/years they went on the market), I needed to re-read it again now and connect those terms and what those Sorcerers did decades, hundreds and thousands of years ago in regards to Team Dark or as they called them, the Flyers, with what we Forerunners/Starseeds/Volunteers/Pathpavers etc. have done and are still doing today. It’s an important Higher Awareness message and connection and more Forerunners need to fully, consciously KNOW who and what they really are and how powerful and important they’ve always been to the entire AP and EP. ❤

      To be honest about this "Flyers" Team Dark topic, I've gotten frustrated in years past when certain other Ascension Teachers would publicly claim that TD didn't exit, or that to focus on them didn't help anyone now and so on. I've written a few articles about how insidious TD has been, still is, what's left of them at this point, but it really was hard to hear certain other Ascension Teachers that I admired and appreciated, publicly say that TD didn't exist and to not focus on them but get back to the real Work such as Grid building and/or supporting them etc. But, because none of us are all-knowing, two of these other Ascension Teachers that I’ve admired and appreciated despite their claims about TD not existing etc., two of them have in the past year or so publicly made statements about Team Dark and how they’re being dealt with now. I won’t say much more about this because I still do admire and appreciate them and their Work(s). ❤ ❤ ❤ I will say however that some of us Ascension Teachers jobs have been to talk and write about Team Dark extensively — aka the Archons, Reptilians, Draconians, negative Greys and other negative ETs, demons and negative entities, of which there have been plenty! No one can live, learn, play, experiment or Work in and with Duality and then claim that half of those energies and Beings don't exist or are impotent or not worthy of our higher awareness and so on. Dangerous that.

      And yes, the old Sorcerers need of being impeccable at all times. This is nothing more to me than the current AP and EP mandatory status for 5D and higher being and existence, HighHeart, integrity, Sovereignty or as some AP Teachers call it, Christ or Crystal Consciousness. The ongoing education continues for us all as does the Great Work. ❤

  • Denise, thank you so much for sharing your insights!
    I had an epiphany while reading this article. “Predator” kept sounding like “pre-dater” to me, as in they came before, an earlier timeline. Then I remembered that time is a function of geometry; and, Geometry is a product of Resonance. So – if I keep the resonance/frequency/vibration/energy/light/love High enough it actually changes my timeline – and the “pre-daters” can no longer SEE me.

    • Good one Diana, as it’s always but always been about different levels and layers of different frequencies. The farther up those energy Stair-steps each of us “ascends”, the farther and farther away all that old negativity is to us and us to it. ❤

  • Denise, thank you for this inspiring and thrilling – YES! THRILLING article. I read Carlos Castaneda’s work years ago too, and I got it! I have no idea why but everything he wrote resonated deep in my soul. I’ve been ‘at this’ since I was born. I just knew who I really was and although in maybe different ways, I have had TD on my case for too long. I am now feeling the energetic of my Light Body growing exponentially as I dedicate my energy and focus on Unity Consciousness more than ever before. There is a more light on the planet than ever before and in the consistent rays of Love Light, the dark is unable to function…

    I love this article. Thank you again… the never-ending tiredness and exhaustion have got me at times, and yet I won’t, and cannot give up because what else is there? The biggest challenge is most certainly, NOW WHAT? I feel my Sovereignty and yet I know not what to do with it nor where to take it! I am sure it will all become clear and in the meantime, I TRUST…

    I AM THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD… and so are You!

    With love and heart light, Jay (North Wales, UK) xxx

    • “…I read Carlos Castaneda’s work years ago too, and I got it! I have no idea why but everything he wrote resonated deep in my soul. I’ve been ‘at this’ since I was born…”

      Many of us Forerunners and Elder Forerunners did sense the deeper truth in all of Castaneda’s books Jay, I certainly did as they all felt terribly familiar to me at first read through from the 1970s forward. The innate Higher Knowing of what’s been going on down here on 3D Earth that’s so profoundly limited humanity for so long, and that we (Forerunners/Volunteers etc.) have multiple lives and selves in multi-dimensions and timelines ALL working towards the end of this negativity is spiritually burned into our beings, hearts and souls. We are on a Mission, we always have been and we’ve succeeded. ❤ Now let's get to the fun parts. 🙂

  • Thanks Denise for another great post. I tried one of Castaneda’s books years ago–at too early a stage, I guess–and it made no sense. Fast-forward through one AP and now it makes complete sense! Personally I am moving out of the disassembly stage and into reassembly. I’m tired but no longer exhausted or drowning in ennui. The symptoms are gradually disappearing and magic is taking their place!

  • Wow Denise
    What an astounding article. That is how I felt over the course of many years when I “realised” what was going on and who TD were. I thought I would lose my mind. I have never lost that gut crawling fear of all things dark/the dark. Except now there is light on my pathway. I am at a point I don’t know quite how to proceed. There is so much to look forward to it is hard to know what to do. So a day at a time.
    Bless you and thank you.
    Magda xxxx

  • Excellent article. I can relate I am past bored also and starting to create again. I hope I regain my energy and health cause I have a lot of living to do yet at 57. I have been listening to Kryon for the last 10 years and it never stuck or made any sense or could put it in practice, but oh boy my awareness of what he says now , has come to light and I understand it finally. Between Kryron and Abraham I’m having a good time knowing my authentic self. I feel relief. And excitement.

  • Bless you Denise,

    I remember reading and knowing the profound truth of Castenada 20+ years ago…so glad to see it again here in your blog…hugs from the Heart🦁xx Daphné

  • Excellent, Denise! Appreciate this post much. The actual Magnificent Essential Goal which is strived for is, to use a modern term, ‘stopping the mind chatter’ (for the ‘mind’ your are stopping is that of the flyer — aka the ego-mind, lower mind, etc.). You can see my own blog post on this subject, and how to accomplish it, I published several years ago here: . . . . As it clearly states in all Buddhist traditions, silencing the ego-mind and the egoic (lower, negative) emotions is THE GOLDEN KEY to Inner Peace, the amazing power of Imperturbability, and True HUman Sovereignty. Oh, and absolutely essential to one’s personal Ascension Process as well 😉 .

    There are also an amazing ‘science fiction’ trilogy I bought used many years ago which talk DIRECTLY about this ‘human energy as food source for dark shadow beings’ concept — AND how to ‘defeat’ them (actually learn to CAPTURE AND CONTROL THEM for one’s personal, enLIGHTened use): ‘The Wayfarer’ (sort of like ‘Wayshower, eh? 😉 ), ‘Kensho’ and ‘Satori’ by Dennis Schmidt. The Path of Self-Mastery — The Way of the New HUman Lightwarrior, the Jedi Master — is one ONLY traversed successfully by hardy, resolute, self-disciplined, indefatigable Souls…..

    I have passed through the ‘boredom’ stage now, and moved on to Pure Creativity. Its working out well. Follow Brenda Hoffman ( for the best ‘soft’ guidance on how to ‘handle’ or (my preferred term) ‘navigate’ this New State of Creative BEing-ness. I no longer blog myself. I’m keeping my freed Self busy now paving more advanced Paths for HUmanity 🙂

Comments must be related to articles

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s